you're an idiot, ken

March 12, 2013 6:30 PM

Ken M is that magical blend between idiot and artist that really pushes all the buttons. Here are his contributions to College Humor.

also on twitter @horseysurprise

posted by rebent (48 comments total)

you know, when you constantly pretend to be stupid, eventually you forget how to pretend to be smart
posted by This, of course, alludes to you at 6:35 PM on March 12, 2013 [3 favorites]

Hey! I saw this guys yahoo answers jokes somewhere. They were funny. Ha ha Good work everybody!
posted by Potomac Avenue at 6:36 PM on March 12, 2013

Oh, this is awesome.
posted by Joe in Australia at 6:37 PM on March 12, 2013

Ah, yes, this popped up on reddit again recently. The one where I lost it was the one where he said his wife ironed the hot dogs.
posted by Diablevert at 6:43 PM on March 12, 2013 [1 favorite]

diablevert: this one? me too!
posted by rebent at 6:44 PM on March 12, 2013 [1 favorite]

To make bacon.

Meanwhile, my wife paints baked beans green. It's cheaper than buying edamame.
posted by Joe in Australia at 6:45 PM on March 12, 2013 [1 favorite]

i did mucho giggling.
posted by entropone at 6:53 PM on March 12, 2013

Snakes are nature‘s land wieners.

Yes, I am immature enough that I find this hysterically funny. So?
posted by Jughead at 6:54 PM on March 12, 2013 [2 favorites]

This one killed me
posted by Strass at 6:55 PM on March 12, 2013 [9 favorites]

I don't do it much, except occasionally on FB among friends, but the problem with trolling on most forums is just the "shooting fish in a barrel" aspect of it. There is always someone ready to take the bait. Always.
posted by randomkeystrike at 6:56 PM on March 12, 2013

you better hope you lived a godly life when the universe pops

OH GOD
I CAN'T
posted by everydayanewday at 6:57 PM on March 12, 2013

I lost it at "um cells can't be destroyed, they just get recycled. The cells we're made of were once the cells of dinosaurs and before that they were the cells of a star etc"
posted by Scientist at 7:00 PM on March 12, 2013 [2 favorites]

I chortled.
posted by snuffleupagus at 7:02 PM on March 12, 2013 [10 favorites]

But Scientist, it really is a beautiful concept.
posted by Joe in Australia at 7:05 PM on March 12, 2013

Lazlo Toth had a son!
posted by benito.strauss at 7:08 PM on March 12, 2013 [2 favorites]

I stopped laughing though at the Bush's Beans one where he was trolling some hapless customer service representative. I draw the line at trolling people who are just trying to do their jobs and who don't have a choice about interacting with you.
posted by Scientist at 7:11 PM on March 12, 2013 [1 favorite]

Okay, full disclosure: I am going to steal this joke.
posted by MegoSteve at 7:11 PM on March 12, 2013 [1 favorite]

gray hair and he's still in college? - ladies and gentlemen, i present the world's oldest professional student
posted by pyramid termite at 7:12 PM on March 12, 2013

Are these Quora screenshots? I think these are Quora screenshots.
posted by boo_radley at 7:12 PM on March 12, 2013 [1 favorite]

I'm so happy that someone is still using the word "troll" correctly.
posted by desjardins at 7:17 PM on March 12, 2013 [4 favorites]

"Have you considered staying classy?"

More of this kind of troll please and fewer of all the other kinds.
posted by wreckingball at 7:17 PM on March 12, 2013 [5 favorites]

"if our brains get too smart they will become self aware and take over our bodys"
posted by pyramid termite at 7:24 PM on March 12, 2013 [6 favorites]

theres actualy more cells in our brains than there are brains in our entire body
posted by carter at 7:26 PM on March 12, 2013 [3 favorites]

I laughed so loud it surprised the dog.
posted by empatterson at 7:27 PM on March 12, 2013 [4 favorites]

My favourite.
posted by maudlin at 7:27 PM on March 12, 2013 [1 favorite]

What is shocking is how easy it is to troll atheists, and how fucking rude the atheists he trolls are. Have you considered staying classy indeed.
posted by Scientist at 7:34 PM on March 12, 2013 [2 favorites]

"well your not suppose to know anything about the candidates ahead of time if you want your vote to be free from bias"
posted by MegoSteve at 7:36 PM on March 12, 2013 [6 favorites]

On Picasso: "not a bad depiction of the human form when you consider how little we knew in those days"
posted by justsomebodythatyouusedtoknow at 7:48 PM on March 12, 2013 [7 favorites]

I like the one where he says the Pope is selecting Cardinals that are his cronies so that he can be elected as successor of himself, and people are calling him an idiot because the Pope has to die before a new Pope is elected.
posted by Pyry at 7:55 PM on March 12, 2013 [3 favorites]

he got hisself fired from his own jelly factory and now he blame obama
posted by Rev. Syung Myung Me at 7:57 PM on March 12, 2013 [7 favorites]

More of this kind of troll please and fewer of all the other kinds.

they're sort of intrinsically linked so i think you're going to probably have more than a little difficulty fulfilling that order
posted by This, of course, alludes to you at 8:05 PM on March 12, 2013

if the internut get too fast folks wont have time to read the articals

Also: dirtpig
posted by FirstMateKate at 8:08 PM on March 12, 2013 [1 favorite]

Hahaha, I'm pretending to be an idiot and people are buying it!
posted by ODiV at 8:26 PM on March 12, 2013

I buy it.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 8:27 PM on March 12, 2013

You sure your pretending?
posted by Potomac Avenue at 8:27 PM on March 12, 2013

In other trolling news.
posted by idiopath at 8:55 PM on March 12, 2013 [1 favorite]

Yes, I DO remember laughter!
This is great.
posted by Kloryne at 9:34 PM on March 12, 2013 [1 favorite]

The logic is sound.
posted by di11ihd at 10:20 PM on March 12, 2013 [3 favorites]

This is my kind of comic genius. My four year old doesn't understand why my iPhone is making me laugh so hard.


UFOs are proof!
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 10:35 PM on March 12, 2013

The word 'onomatopoeia' is also an onomatopoeia because it's derived from the sound produced when the word is spoken aloud.
posted by the duck by the oboe at 11:05 PM on March 12, 2013 [15 favorites]

After a while, the sadness of the victims' gullibility (though often articulate) becomes more overwhelming than the funniness of the original comments. I wonder if he started out on the likes of Youtube and Yahoo Answers, and eventually realized he needed to seek out more and more challenging forums.

And I kinda wonder what his "real world" reaction would be if someone angrily responded to him on an equally naive and moronic level.
posted by TheSecretDecoderRing at 1:59 AM on March 13, 2013

the sadness of the victims' gullibility

How gullible are you really when you respond to one of those comments in isolation, when they're barely distinguishable from actually existing stupidity?
posted by MartinWisse at 2:38 AM on March 13, 2013 [1 favorite]

The best is where he wins a fairly valuable prize in a gun store's online contest, and he can't... turn... himself... off... when claiming it. He chooses a turkey-hunting shotgun laminated a bright pink.

"I won a pink turkey popper and you can, too!"
posted by Slap*Happy at 5:22 AM on March 13, 2013 [1 favorite]

I see this as a form of public service. It really seems like he is filling some sort of need these people have to respond to idiots.
posted by orme at 6:00 AM on March 13, 2013

married folk always reduce sex to mere love

This is great.
posted by dogbusonline at 6:29 AM on March 13, 2013

I'm so happy that someone is still using the word "troll" correctly.

Aye.
posted by ersatz at 7:12 AM on March 13, 2013

if the dirtpig has a shadow it means his body is opaque

This man is a genius
posted by ook at 7:26 AM on March 13, 2013 [2 favorites]

Haven't laughed that hard at words on a screen in a while.
posted by legospaceman at 9:59 PM on March 13, 2013