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Caturday Crackup
March 16, 2013 11:45 AM   Subscribe

Local newsreader loses it when trying to do a story on a fat kitty that loves to swim
posted by The Whelk (54 comments total) 13 users marked this as a favorite

 
I'm not sure "loves" is the right word here.
posted by The Card Cheat at 11:47 AM on March 16, 2013 [10 favorites]


I was expecting more of a Howard Beale kind of losing it. Was disappointed.
posted by dammitjim at 11:49 AM on March 16, 2013 [1 favorite]


Leslie Roberts has the giggles
posted by The Card Cheat at 11:50 AM on March 16, 2013


This was on Anderson Cooper two like two weeks ago
posted by delmoi at 11:50 AM on March 16, 2013


Is Anderson Cooper two like ESPN2?
posted by brain_drain at 11:54 AM on March 16, 2013 [9 favorites]


"Roll tape."
posted by Fizz at 12:09 PM on March 16, 2013


"Holly is a 13-year-old cat who dislikes the outdoors and other physical cativities." -- fixed.
posted by lewedswiver at 12:11 PM on March 16, 2013 [2 favorites]


Our cat was fat, now it is thinner. I can understand people who struggle to reduce their own eating, but really, your best solution to making a cat thinner was to take it swimming?
posted by biffa at 12:13 PM on March 16, 2013 [2 favorites]


That site doesn't work for me, but I believe the same video is here on YouTube.
posted by Malor at 12:17 PM on March 16, 2013 [4 favorites]


I can understand people who struggle to reduce their own eating, but really, your best solution to making a cat thinner was to take it swimming?

From that last shot of the cat trying to walk, I suspect the cat has serious mobility issues for whatever reason and can't get even normal-lazy-feline levels of exercise. It's a puff piece, I guess they didn't want to be a downer about kitties with crippling arthritis or whatever.
posted by restless_nomad at 12:19 PM on March 16, 2013 [9 favorites]


I can understand people who struggle to reduce their own eating, but really, your best solution to making a cat thinner was to take it swimming?

We have a fat cat. I would take her swimming just to hear the noises she would make. Also, I would wear a suit of full plate armor and maybe hide inside a Sherman tank.
posted by Joey Michaels at 12:20 PM on March 16, 2013 [42 favorites]


This anchorwoman seems familiar. Didn't she get into a big online fight with trolls who called her fat?
posted by charlie don't surf at 12:31 PM on March 16, 2013


The cat is 13, isn't the main health issue that it will be dying really soon?
posted by Meatbomb at 12:37 PM on March 16, 2013 [2 favorites]


13 is ~late middle age for an indoor housecat.
posted by jamaro at 12:41 PM on March 16, 2013 [3 favorites]


i love the cat life jacket. she looks like a submarine coming up for air.
posted by fuzzypantalones at 12:45 PM on March 16, 2013 [3 favorites]


Uh-oh. Meta.
posted by ericb at 12:47 PM on March 16, 2013


The cat is 13, isn't the main health issue that it will be dying really soon?

Nah. If he's well taken care of, he's still got a lot of miles left on him. My cats have averaged 19 years. The oldest made it to 20 years and 3 months.
posted by MissySedai at 12:56 PM on March 16, 2013 [3 favorites]


This anchorwoman seems familiar. Didn't she get into a big online fight with trolls who called her fat?

No. Two different fat lady-newsanchors.

(The woman who called out the troll on air was Jennifer Livingston from a Wisconsin CBS affiliate.)
posted by peacrow at 12:59 PM on March 16, 2013 [1 favorite]


My local news channel, everybody. They're here all ... uhh... well all the time.
posted by introp at 1:05 PM on March 16, 2013 [1 favorite]


As much as I loved this, the look of utter distress and sadness on the wet cat's face broke my heart.

I MUST HUG MY CAT NOW
posted by Kitteh at 1:17 PM on March 16, 2013 [6 favorites]


As much as I loved this, the look of utter distress and sadness on the wet cat's face broke my heart.

I MUST HUG MY CAT NOW
posted by Kitteh at 4:17 PM on March 16 [+] [!]

eponysterical.
posted by DoubleLune at 1:26 PM on March 16, 2013 [2 favorites]


So, where can I get a cat-sized life vest?
posted by jeather at 1:29 PM on March 16, 2013 [3 favorites]


I want to see video of the vest being put onto the cat. The first time my wife and I tried to get our cat into a harness was also the last.
posted by The Card Cheat at 1:34 PM on March 16, 2013 [3 favorites]


At least she wasn't doing this.

(Yes, I know that was fake.)
posted by randomkeystrike at 1:47 PM on March 16, 2013


Looks like Cartman wasn't able to keep that kitty away from his pot pie.
posted by azpenguin at 1:50 PM on March 16, 2013 [2 favorites]


Our cat was fat, now it is thinner. I can understand people who struggle to reduce their own eating, but really, your best solution to making a cat thinner was to take it swimming?

If you could somehow communicate to the cat that if he doesn't start eating less you'll repeatedly throw it into small bodies of water, I bet the swimming would work wonders.

As much as I loved this, the look of utter distress and sadness on the wet cat's face broke my heart.

That is pretty much the opposite reaction that I had to the footage. My reaction to that cat's facial expressions were pretty much the same as the anchor's.
posted by maryr at 2:10 PM on March 16, 2013 [1 favorite]


I saw no distress, only stoicism, and a grim determination to overcome water in order to slay its owners for putting it in that situation.
posted by Apocryphon at 2:41 PM on March 16, 2013 [24 favorites]


Needs a better soundtrack.
posted by wreckingball at 2:59 PM on March 16, 2013 [4 favorites]


When is society going to accept that cats can be happy and fulfilled no matter what their body type? This poor feline, having already grown up internalizing society's cruel bigotry about what constitutes cat beauty, not only suffers the humiliation of being thrown into a swimming pool but is openly mocked on TV. It's just not as simple as putting down the Friskies Treats, people.
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 3:25 PM on March 16, 2013 [7 favorites]


I love cats.

I would never intentionally harm one.

But inconvenience and outrage one?

Oh heck yeah. That shit's HILARIOUS.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 3:27 PM on March 16, 2013 [20 favorites]


/currently unable to move because 15 pound kitteh won't get off my chest
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 3:27 PM on March 16, 2013 [1 favorite]


I've had moments where I was stressed out and something slightly funny struck me as completley hysterical, and suddenly it was giggle time for the next 15 minutes. Forget about breathing, and especially trying to explain why I was laughing so hard...

One of those triggers was simply the phrase "grits popsicle."
posted by Foosnark at 3:48 PM on March 16, 2013


Her laughter has a bit of that faking-it vibe that Jon Stewart does sometimes.
posted by anothermug at 4:01 PM on March 16, 2013 [2 favorites]


So, where can I get a cat-sized life vest?
posted by jeather at 1:29 PM on March 16 [1 favorite +] [!]


Actually, I think what we have here is a life-vest sized cat. And believe me, you can drown 'em a lot faster than that.
posted by Paul Slade at 4:30 PM on March 16, 2013


13 is ~late middle age for an indoor housecat.

While I would love for that to be true, vets generally consider cats over 8 to be "senior", and average indoor cat lifespan is 12-14 years. So 13 is more like early 70's in human terms, although thats probably not very useful.

Sure, cats _can_ live to 20 or more, but after 8 and especially after 12 they can go downhill rapidly when it hits them.
posted by wildcrdj at 5:01 PM on March 16, 2013 [1 favorite]


Ohmygoodness. She looks like my old fat lard and WET CAT and laughing and holy crap that made my day. FAT LARDO KITTY IS ALL WET.
posted by sonika at 5:08 PM on March 16, 2013


although thats probably not very useful.

I was actually just at the pet food warehouse store and a customer was asking a cashier what made a dog senior and if you multiplied by seven to get the "real" age. (She said, sensibly, it varied by breed and he should ask his vet.)

It's a puff piece, I guess they didn't want to be a downer about kitties with crippling arthritis or whatever.

It was borrowed footage, clearly, and the original story may have been more useful.

but really, your best solution to making a cat thinner was to take it swimming?

Well, you need to reduce weight to be sure, but you also need to combat things like arthritis with increased mobility and build muscle tone and flexibility. If the cat can barely walk as it is, swimming is a great alternative therapy.

Anyway, cats tend to be able to endure all indignities with stoicism and fierce glaring.

/currently unable to move because 15 pound kitteh won't get off my chest

Yeah, a few years ago when I temporarily parented my brother's cat he was too fat to jump in my lap and I think I still have scars from him claw-climbing his way up my jeans leg. I put him on a diet right away and by the time my brother took him back he was a lot more mobile.
posted by dhartung at 5:16 PM on March 16, 2013


Anyway, cats tend to be able to endure all indignities with stoicism and fierce glaring.

Are you kidding? I might get the fierce glare for trying to stick one of my cats in a lifevest, but if I attempted to put her/him in a pool, I'd be fiercely hemorrhaging all over within about 10 seconds.
posted by FelliniBlank at 5:26 PM on March 16, 2013 [4 favorites]


Hmmm, my kitteh, who plays fetch, also seems to like water.

I think the shelter gave me a dog that looks like a cat and can use a litter box.
posted by NorthernLite at 5:54 PM on March 16, 2013 [1 favorite]


German Weather Reporter Cannot Stop Laughing
posted by danb at 6:50 PM on March 16, 2013 [1 favorite]


Hmmm, my kitteh, who plays fetch, also seems to like water.

I believe those are somewhat common personality traits of Manx cats. A friend once had a Manx who also loved to ride in the car, straddling the top of the back seat as she swayed back and forth to keep her balance. Maine Coons are also supposed to be partial to water, although mine is not. She is partial to rolling in the dirt and then running back inside to demand affection, with dirt and various twigs and debris stuck to her fur.
posted by krinklyfig at 7:53 PM on March 16, 2013 [1 favorite]


Yeah, I wasn't getting a "distress" sense from the cat, more like a "this is the sort of shit I put up with, at least it doesn't last long" thing.
posted by chimaera at 8:01 PM on March 16, 2013


Yeah, my Maine Coon kitten is fascinated by water. She used to try to jump in the shower with me, til she realised that getting a shower meant she had to be brushed afterwards, to keep her fur from knotting. She still likes batting at running water when I'm washing dishes or whatever.
posted by peppermind at 8:11 PM on March 16, 2013


Oh oh speaking of cute animals going swimming for physical therapy purposes BUNNY
posted by clavicle at 8:14 PM on March 16, 2013 [2 favorites]


Yeah, I wasn't getting a "distress" sense from the cat, more like a "this is the sort of shit I put up with, at least it doesn't last long" thing.

Yeah ...
posted by krinklyfig at 9:21 PM on March 16, 2013


That bunny has a ponytail holder on his ears to keep them dry! My new favorite thing.
posted by vytae at 10:32 PM on March 16, 2013


Since otters already know how to swim, zookeepers teach them how to play basketball instead for therapeutic purposes.
posted by colfax at 3:42 AM on March 17, 2013 [1 favorite]


while tutoring, an adorable kid of a student got ahold of my ipad, saw pictures of my cat lying down with her pillowy belly sort of plumping out between her legs, and this tiny child was like 'your kitty is so fat ha ha ha ha ha ha ha'

well let it be know that i've recently taken said cat to vet, who said that her belly is JUST RIGHT and my cat is not fat because the vet detected a WAIST. SO TAKE THAT ADORABLE CHILD AND OTHER FAT CAT MOCKERS
posted by angrycat at 7:11 AM on March 17, 2013 [2 favorites]


A likely story coming from angrycat
posted by danb at 7:39 AM on March 17, 2013


Yeah, my Maine Coon kitten is fascinated by water. She used to try to jump in the shower with me, til she realised that getting a shower meant she had to be brushed afterwards, to keep her fur from knotting.

My Coon's second-favorite part about being in the shower and licking at the falling water as it soaks his fur, is the next hour he spends happily licking said water off his fur. He never gets knots. He is kept pretty well-brushed by yours truly when dry, though.

Nthing that the expression of the cat in the video seemed to be a mix of "ermehgehrd -.-" and "how could I fully dunk my human into this tank of gooey ickiness and make them feel my pain, hmmmm..." Made me laugh too. Reminds me of my younger cat's expression when she watches her adoptive brother hop in the shower as she stands aside: "DUDE... HE IS SO BRAVE... off to eat some dry food while he's not looking."
posted by fraula at 8:43 AM on March 17, 2013


Котэ и аккордеон
posted by homunculus at 9:43 AM on March 18, 2013


попугай и кошка
posted by homunculus at 1:46 PM on March 20, 2013


Cat Assassin (Коварный Котенок)
posted by homunculus at 9:30 AM on March 25, 2013


Cat taking the dog home
posted by homunculus at 6:33 PM on March 25, 2013


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