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Hmmmm, Only $50,000....
March 19, 2013 10:30 AM   Subscribe

With the current hard times a lot of organizations are looking for alternative funding sources. This is almost exactly not like that.
posted by Kid Charlemagne (48 comments total) 12 users marked this as a favorite

 
Well, it's not an active Kickstarter project.
posted by Kid Charlemagne at 10:32 AM on March 19, 2013 [6 favorites]


Heh, this reminds me of the Super Top Platinum Diamond Contributor Level tier of a video game project I can't recall. It's the same "hang out with the devteam!" thing that they all do but the description ends with "contributor responsible for cost of lunch."
posted by griphus at 10:33 AM on March 19, 2013 [2 favorites]


Not affiliated with Cobra Kai dojo, that you know of.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 10:33 AM on March 19, 2013 [2 favorites]


It took me way too long to figure out that wasn't about overpriced health insurance.
posted by phunniemee at 10:33 AM on March 19, 2013 [13 favorites]


They shoulda got James Urbaniak
posted by KokuRyu at 10:34 AM on March 19, 2013 [3 favorites]


It took me way too long to figure out that wasn't about overpriced health insurance.

No, no, it's the same people. They just need to keep the companies apart for tax purposes.
posted by griphus at 10:36 AM on March 19, 2013 [30 favorites]


So when unemployed people are told to apply for COBRA, it really just means that they should look into the evil henchmen business? Live and work on-site!
posted by Think_Long at 10:40 AM on March 19, 2013 [5 favorites]


I was actually seriously hoping that it was to fund a worldwide crime syndicate/supervillain organization.
posted by BlackLeotardFront at 10:41 AM on March 19, 2013 [3 favorites]


How expensive can it be? It's not like you're firing your own warheads at an earthquake-unstable spot! You only need to hire an agent to file your claim on the outcoming island, which didn't seem to take long last time. The UN aren't really on top of their game when it comes to things like this, they might even vote you onto the Human Rights Committee while you're there. Is most of the $94 billion for decorating? Guys, just go down to Ikea, those Billy bookcases are like, what $50 or $60 or something. You could also save a lot by going to your local Goodwill.
posted by Jehan at 10:43 AM on March 19, 2013 [1 favorite]


That was actually better than I was expecting. The birds in the background just adds to it.
posted by Old'n'Busted at 10:43 AM on March 19, 2013 [1 favorite]


I was actually seriously hoping that it was to fund a worldwide crime syndicate/supervillain organization.

Pfft, like the GOP needs a Kickstarter.
posted by griphus at 10:44 AM on March 19, 2013 [11 favorites]


Man, the Homeland Security terror-funding honeypots are starting to become laughably obvious.
posted by Strange Interlude at 10:45 AM on March 19, 2013 [10 favorites]


Look, I am familiar with this organization, and I'm just not sure that I can get behind a multinational syndicate of nefariousness that can be defeated simply through window washer coincidences. If they can't even handle the Viper, why should I fund them?!
posted by barnacles at 10:46 AM on March 19, 2013 [7 favorites]


Interested investors may want to peruse these independently researched Cobra After Action Reports - and perhaps reconsider.
posted by chambers at 10:47 AM on March 19, 2013 [5 favorites]


I was actually seriously hoping that it was to fund a worldwide crime syndicate/supervillain organization.

That's what some of your taxes are for. More if you are in the United States.
posted by srboisvert at 10:47 AM on March 19, 2013


Wow, Shelley Adelson's lost a lot of weight.
posted by mosk at 10:48 AM on March 19, 2013


Is most of the $94 billion for decorating? Guys, just go down to Ikea

Hey, all those pyramids and snake statuary doesn't come for cheap. That's craftsmanship. You just don't get that sorts of thing off the shelf.
posted by ook at 10:48 AM on March 19, 2013 [3 favorites]


Projects backed by Cobra Commander: Bunny and the Missing Monster. (Funding unsuccessful)
posted by Horace Rumpole at 10:56 AM on March 19, 2013 [1 favorite]


I would have expected a much better kickstarter pitch from a former used car salesman. Maybe this is a false flag op by the Joes? Seems like just the thing Psyche-Out would cook up.
posted by radwolf76 at 10:57 AM on March 19, 2013 [5 favorites]


What are you talking about radwolf76, everyone knows Cobra Commander hails from Cobra-La where he was a research scientist who was exiled for something I don't recall after 25 years. Was once a man...
posted by khaibit at 11:06 AM on March 19, 2013 [2 favorites]


Pledge $200 or more
0 backers Limited (6 of 6 left)
Services of STORM SHADOW for an entire week


This is definitely less than in town.
posted by Kabanos at 11:14 AM on March 19, 2013 [10 favorites]


a trip down funnyordie memory lane: the Ballad of GI Joe
posted by Bwithh at 11:33 AM on March 19, 2013 [1 favorite]


Help non-profit organization COBRA rebuild it's

I hate to say that this is where I stopped paying attention, but...
posted by jimmythefish at 11:44 AM on March 19, 2013


Was once a man...

Yeah, except all that stuff can't possibly have happened, because at the end of that didn't-really-happen tale, he turns in to a snake, and he clearly is humanoid when he shows up in the season 3 of Transformers G1, which was set in 2005. You don't just get better from turning into a snake.
posted by radwolf76 at 11:49 AM on March 19, 2013 [2 favorites]


You don't just get better from turning into a snake

It works for a newt, so why not a snake?
posted by dersins at 11:52 AM on March 19, 2013 [2 favorites]


What are you talking about radwolf76, everyone knows Cobra Commander hails from Cobra-La where he was a research scientist who was exiled for something I don't recall after 25 years. Was once a man...

I thought he was Joseph-Gordon Levitt in a SCUBA mask.
posted by Strange Interlude at 12:04 PM on March 19, 2013


Man, Storm Shadow must really work for peanuts.
posted by drezdn at 12:11 PM on March 19, 2013


So thanks to this discussion I've just spent the last 15 minutes reading the multiple origins of Cobra Commander -- and I like to thank you for exposing me to my new favorite 4 sentences ever from Wikipedia:

Stealing a Corvette from a used-car dealership, Cobra Commander and Destro were stopped by a police officer checking out the dealer plates. The officer recognized the Commander from a picture carried by an accident victim lying in a coma in a local hospital. This turns out to be the Commander's son Billy, who survived the explosion, but lost a leg and an eye. Unnerved by the discovery, the Commander emotionally broke down and swore to take responsibility for Billy's condition, and promised to be a better father.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 12:20 PM on March 19, 2013 [11 favorites]


Think_Long: "So when unemployed people are told to apply for COBRA, it really just means that they should look into the evil henchmen business? Live and work on-site!"

And you have both clothing AND lasers provided.

Win win, baby!
posted by Samizdata at 12:29 PM on March 19, 2013


Not to derail toooooooooo much: He was a used car salseman!
posted by basicchannel at 12:29 PM on March 19, 2013 [3 favorites]


$200 for a week's worth of service from a world class ninja is definitely a bargain. The possibilities are intriguing...
posted by Kevin Street at 12:41 PM on March 19, 2013 [2 favorites]


Cobra Fuckin' Commander...
posted by symbioid at 1:08 PM on March 19, 2013


Crashing through the sky
Comes a fearful cry
COBRA! (Cobraaaa!)
COBRA! (Cobraaaa!)

posted by The Great Big Mulp at 1:24 PM on March 19, 2013 [3 favorites]


Lies. We get what we need from our long-distance telecom operation.
posted by COBRA! at 1:27 PM on March 19, 2013 [5 favorites]


Not to derail toooooooooo much: He was a used car salseman!

To deliberately derail much further, this is the best explanation of the appeal of G. I. Joe I've ever read.
posted by Myca at 2:45 PM on March 19, 2013 [1 favorite]


Cobra already held a telethon.

I know it's easy to miss it when you're 8 years old and think you're watching a show about army-men shooting lasers at each other, but the cartoon is kind of bonkers.
posted by RobotHero at 2:59 PM on March 19, 2013 [6 favorites]


GI Joe for me was the comic and the toys, and Larry Hama made everything seem cool because he had such a... nonchalant attitude towards the weirder aspects of the series. Of course the Joes have one marine, and he's named Gung Ho. It couldn't be anything else! And the navy guy is named Shipwreck, and he's got a parrot. Snake Eyes has a wolf now, okay. So they're going on a reconnaissance mission to Cobra Island, and while the parrot and wolf are scouting out Cobra positions, Snake Eyes has a flashback to his origin in Operation Eagle Claw, back in '80. We've got another issue in the can!
posted by Kevin Street at 3:03 PM on March 19, 2013 [3 favorites]


RobotHero: "Cobra already held a telethon.

I know it's easy to miss it when you're 8 years old and think you're watching a show about army-men shooting lasers at each other, but the cartoon is kind of bonkers.
"

Yeah. And?

(How much for a week with the Baroness?)
posted by Samizdata at 3:57 PM on March 19, 2013 [1 favorite]


"Cobra already held a telethon.

Wait, is that actually real?

*googles*

I did not need to know that old episodes of G.I. Joe are on Netflix. I really didn't.

Mainframe just said that getting into the simple-to-penetrate Cobra base was as "easy as programmin' in BASIC." Now Doctor Mindbender, Tomax and Xamot are explaining computer viruses to Serpentor. This is pretty much the best thing ever and as RobotHero points out, much, much more bonkers than I remembered.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 4:20 PM on March 19, 2013 [2 favorites]


Well, if I've convinced people to watch it, I also recommend, "Once Upon A Joe."
posted by RobotHero at 4:48 PM on March 19, 2013 [1 favorite]


I did not need to know that old episodes of G.I. Joe are on Netflix. I really didn't.

...I had things I had to do this week. THANKS.
posted by corb at 5:23 PM on March 19, 2013


Mainframe just said that getting into the simple-to-penetrate Cobra base was as "easy as programmin' in BASIC."

The thing about CORBA was that you needed to get the java native bindings compiled against it, and the standard libs inevitably introduced memory leaks that were effectively unreachable by the JVM. Then the broker would crash, and...

wait, this is about health insurance? Snakes? Cartoons?
posted by jenkinsEar at 7:45 PM on March 19, 2013 [2 favorites]


Journal of a new COBRA recruit (as seen on MetaFilter)
posted by ODiV at 8:46 PM on March 19, 2013 [1 favorite]


I'd like to call out all of you for having as much fun with a goofy Kickstarter culture jamming thing as I did and no one going all off the deep end and screaming Pepsi Blue on MetaTalk or anything. You guys give me faith in HTMLanity.

Faith that will be dashed the next time I open Facebook, but such is life.
posted by Kid Charlemagne at 9:30 PM on March 19, 2013 [3 favorites]


Well, if I've convinced people to watch it, I also recommend, "Once Upon A Joe."


Now that I've watched it so can I.

"Now Cobra owns the MacGuffin Device...whatever it does."
posted by MCMikeNamara at 10:00 AM on March 20, 2013 [1 favorite]


These recruitment ads aren't cheap, you know.
posted by ODiV at 10:02 AM on March 20, 2013


I know nothing of GI Joe and Cobra beyond the film they did a while ago, but I have to say this is my favourite thread ever on Metafilter. I have learned so much about mistakes never to make if I create my own evil organization. Also, how to fund it.
posted by lesbiassparrow at 12:22 PM on March 20, 2013


lesbiassparrow, are you familiar with the Evil Overlord list(s)? It's about as old as anything on the web, but it's never stopped being funny (at least to me).
posted by dersins at 12:57 PM on March 20, 2013


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