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Putting the "I" in IPO
March 23, 2013 5:50 PM   Subscribe

Mike Merrill decided to sell shares in his life. He now has 160 shareholders who can tell him what to do.
posted by reenum (21 comments total) 12 users marked this as a favorite

 
There's a scifi short story that this reminds me of where in the future everyone sells shares of themselves. Most people maintain control but occasionally people lose control and have to then answer to their board. Of course there's a futuristic methods of enforcing that control.

Very interesting idea of course, though I hope it's not the way of the future.
posted by Carillon at 6:04 PM on March 23, 2013


He now has 160 shareholders who can tell him what to do.

No he doesn't.
posted by kenko at 6:15 PM on March 23, 2013 [3 favorites]


Merrill’s most promising dates were with Marijke Dixon, who had just started working at a private-investment firm, and whom he met through mutual friends. “I sort of didn’t realize what I was getting into,” Dixon told me, recalling their first date (hedge-fund chatter over a lunch of oysters). Initially, the idea of strangers reading about and voting on an unfolding relationship sounded like a “nightmare.” But then she realized that being able to read Merrill’s date reports to shareholders was “like having the ultimate upper hand.” She ended up collaborating with him on their relationship contract—an extraordinary eight-page document setting parameters for everything from flossing to television viewing to frequency of “sexual relations.

Obligatory Fry and Laurie sketch.
posted by lazaruslong at 6:35 PM on March 23, 2013 [5 favorites]


There are days I wish I had a committee of people to tell me what the f**k to do.
posted by jferg at 6:36 PM on March 23, 2013 [7 favorites]


He now has 160 shareholders who can tell him what to do.

god, i'm stupid - i have a shitload of people telling me what to do and i didn't make them invest a damn penny
posted by pyramid termite at 6:36 PM on March 23, 2013 [24 favorites]


The Unincorporated Man is the story you are thinking of Carillon. The book has lots of intriguing ideas and speculation but isn't really a great read.
posted by srboisvert at 6:51 PM on March 23, 2013 [2 favorites]


I hope they force him not to sign a book deal, or that he really needs a Blue Comma tattoo and three extra testicles.
posted by Mezentian at 6:58 PM on March 23, 2013


three extra testicles.

That could be significant, depending on how many you started with in the first place. Going from zero to three seems more reasonable than from two to five.
posted by spacewrench at 7:07 PM on March 23, 2013


This is totally not a sadomasochistic fantasy. Totally. Not. Really.
posted by localroger at 7:23 PM on March 23, 2013


He now has 160 shareholders who can tell him what to do.

Getting married would have simplified this.
posted by HuronBob at 7:28 PM on March 23, 2013 [2 favorites]


I'm sorry, Mike, but the board has decided that you should spend 10:30 to 12:30 listening to Jedward, followed by 12:30 to 2:30 smashing yourself in the head with a 2x4.
posted by delfin at 7:41 PM on March 23, 2013 [1 favorite]


This is stupid. What these people have are voting rights over the script of a stupid reality show.
posted by delmoi at 7:44 PM on March 23, 2013 [2 favorites]


That's... not really how shareholders work.
posted by koeselitz at 8:01 PM on March 23, 2013 [5 favorites]


Does his online auction with a $1 price floor mean that he sold his rights for ~$3300, or is there some way that he's gaining additional funds for this through the stock holders? Because I'd be looking for a lot more than that to let people vote on my habits.
posted by KGMoney at 8:25 PM on March 23, 2013


That could be significant, depending on how many you started with in the first place. Going from zero to three seems more reasonable than from two to five.

And if you started out with an antitesticle then you wind up totally square.
posted by Now there are two. There are two _______. at 9:28 PM on March 23, 2013 [1 favorite]


This is stupid. What these people have are voting rights over the script of a stupid reality show.

That depends on who is on the board of directors and whether they have his best interests at heart.
posted by psycho-alchemy at 10:22 PM on March 23, 2013


oh god, I wonder how many shares his mother bought.
posted by jacalata at 12:24 AM on March 24, 2013 [4 favorites]


Bain Capital just called - they want you to borrow a lot of cash, pay it to them, then commit suicide.
posted by anthill at 7:26 AM on March 24, 2013 [4 favorites]


How am I completely unsurprised that the kind of people who would have both the money and the impulse to try and 'own' a human life would demand he register as a Republican.
posted by FatherDagon at 10:49 AM on March 24, 2013


Just chiming in to say I also have been giving the milk away from free, and in fact demanding that people tell me what to do for free (or a copay in certain cases) so this sort of alters my worldview.
posted by RainyJay at 7:56 PM on March 24, 2013


Reading this is seeing what it would be like if people had to follow the advice they got from ask metafilter.
posted by medusa at 5:16 AM on March 25, 2013 [1 favorite]


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