The Barry Bonds of butt dialers
March 26, 2013 6:55 AM   Subscribe

Meet Jay Horwitz, the king of butt dialing.
posted by Faint of Butt (26 comments total) 9 users marked this as a favorite

 
And his mother sits alone in a nursing home wondering why his butt never calls.
posted by mazola at 7:02 AM on March 26, 2013 [15 favorites]


He also buttweets:
For example, just before the start of spring training, he tweeted a photo of himself shirtless in a swimming pool, buoyed by a tube and a pair of floaties, with goggles over his eyes and a snorkel lodged in his mouth. Other tweets have included such updates as "Hy" and "Congrats to $." On March 2, he simply tweeted the letter O.

Still, for all his social media savvy, mastering the BlackBerry has proved difficult for him.

posted by Cold Lurkey at 7:03 AM on March 26, 2013 [1 favorite]


I was hoping this would be about a guy who can accurately dial phone numbers with his butt.
posted by eugenen at 7:05 AM on March 26, 2013 [23 favorites]


eponysterical
posted by subversiveasset at 7:05 AM on March 26, 2013


eponysterical
posted by subversiveasset


I don't think so; there was nothing in that article about his butt being squeamish.
posted by item at 7:08 AM on March 26, 2013 [1 favorite]


Further testimony, were any needed, to Fred and Jeff Wilpon's ability to run a crackerjack-efficient, hyper-competent organization.
posted by RogerB at 7:11 AM on March 26, 2013 [3 favorites]


I like how they play it up like how this happens is all a big mystery, and then they casually mention that he refuses to lock his phone.

I'm glad he's not a coach, because he's terrible at problem solving. Come to think of it, an expert in media relations who's unconcerned with broadcasting himself a reputation as a bumbler doesn't really inspire a lot of professional confidence.
posted by middleclasstool at 7:16 AM on March 26, 2013 [5 favorites]


TIL: my Dad could work for the Mets.
posted by yerfatma at 7:24 AM on March 26, 2013 [3 favorites]


Genius: "Congrats to $"
posted by gorbichov at 7:26 AM on March 26, 2013 [8 favorites]


I'm wondering if the reporter on this piece didn't get butt dialed at 4 a.m. once too many times. Part of me is uncomfortable with a piece that seems designed just to humiliate someone, but geez what an idiot.
posted by randomkeystrike at 7:27 AM on March 26, 2013 [1 favorite]


Ramon Ramirez, a forgettable Mets relief pitcher in 2012, was in spring training with the San Francisco Giants last month when the butt dialer struck.

"I was like, 'Who is this?'" Ramirez said. "I called back, but he didn't answer." A month later, Ramirez is still perplexed by the whole episode. "I don't know why he was calling me."


Poor Ramirez. If it were me, I'd pretty bummed to see that the writer who quoted me for his goofball piece decided to call me "forgettable" for no good reason.
posted by mullacc at 7:29 AM on March 26, 2013 [6 favorites]


That's pretty hilarious.
posted by michellenoel at 7:30 AM on March 26, 2013


"When I got back to my locker, I checked my phone and the missed call was from 8:10 p.m.," Davis said. "I'm like, why would he call me at that time? I'm at first base. He sees me at first base."

I don't know.
No, wait---he's on third.
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 7:30 AM on March 26, 2013 [3 favorites]


TIL: my Dad could work for the Mets.

TIL: The new Wall Street Journal is basically my college newspaper.
posted by psoas at 7:41 AM on March 26, 2013 [2 favorites]


I love that David Wright, who just signed for $140 million or so, also spends part of his time forwarding this guy's emails to the correct party because he can't bear to tell Horowitz.
posted by gladly at 7:47 AM on March 26, 2013 [13 favorites]


I really love everything about this. His Twitter is actually pretty funny.
Lesson learned. Truck for Citi leaves Monday. My bags already on. Unlike trip down when I forgot luggage in car and bags had to be shipped.
posted by uncleozzy at 7:55 AM on March 26, 2013 [1 favorite]


Poor Ramirez. If it were me, I'd pretty bummed to see that the writer who quoted me for his goofball piece decided to call me "forgettable" for no good reason.

Seriously, what the hell? Ramirez has already had a far more successful career than Mr. Forgettable Wall Street Journal (of course) Reporter.
posted by dirigibleman at 8:22 AM on March 26, 2013


Geez people, I thought it was a funny, fairly innocuous, somewhat tongue-in-cheek story.
posted by Aubergine at 8:27 AM on March 26, 2013


Ahh, Jay is in full-on media trolling mode again. "Oh, me! I'm such a clumsy technorookie! Do I not amuse you?". What front-office disaster awaits if Jay is putting himself out there as court jester again to distract his friends in the press again?

One thing Jay Horowitz is NOT is bumbling and incompetent. His employers are, though, and much of Jay's job is making sure that the story does not become about them. His job is not so much to publicize the Mets as it is to distract everyone from how terrible the Wilpons are as owners. Sometimes that means putting yourself in the media crosshairs. The fact that Jay does this and is not reviled by the NY sports media (in fact, they have a great affection for him) shows you how good he is at his job.
posted by KingEdRa at 8:37 AM on March 26, 2013 [4 favorites]


Someone please save the Mets.
posted by oneironaut at 9:05 AM on March 26, 2013


They could pretty much have one of those reality contest shows (e.g. Top Chef) about running the Mets for a season. I don't think that amateur Mets fans could fuck it up any more than the current owners.
posted by klangklangston at 9:20 AM on March 26, 2013 [1 favorite]


@Horse _eButts
posted by Cold Lurkey at 9:32 AM on March 26, 2013 [3 favorites]


Sandy Alderson could save the Mets. Maybe. He just has a financial clusterf@$k to work out first.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 10:30 AM on March 26, 2013 [1 favorite]


C'mon. How do we know he's the KING of butt-dialing. What's the international certification council for this, anyway? Maybe he's the Third Prince of butt-dialing, tops.

Also, seriously? No one can figure out how to fix this problem for this poor doofus?
posted by nevercalm at 10:38 AM on March 26, 2013 [1 favorite]


"It's so strange because there is no rhyme or reason to who gets called," said outfielder Mike Baxter, the recipient of a 4 a.m. Horwitz butt dial last winter. "He just calls random people."

Yeah, it's absolutely shocking when a random process leads to random results. Shocking.
posted by medusa at 11:33 AM on March 26, 2013 [1 favorite]


bqhatevwr
posted by Mental Wimp at 2:49 PM on March 27, 2013 [1 favorite]


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