Crouch Behind Cover: Modern Warfare
March 27, 2013 9:42 AM   Subscribe

Are modern first person shooters a bit too serious for your taste? Be happy they weren't always made that way. [Pre vious ly.]
posted by cthuljew (26 comments total) 15 users marked this as a favorite

 
Holy shit, these are funny.
posted by KokuRyu at 9:50 AM on March 27, 2013


Yep, that's pretty much what I think when I watch someone playing Call of Warfare: War Duty, Wetworks Secret Warrior of War 2: The Warening.
posted by Molesome at 10:01 AM on March 27, 2013 [6 favorites]


So I'm watching the first video when the steam IM sound plays. It is truly embarrassing how long I spent trying to figure out who messaged me and why I couldn't find the window before I realized the sound was the guy in the video getting a steam message.
posted by Justinian at 10:03 AM on March 27, 2013 [4 favorites]


I wish there were more games made in the vein of No One Lives Forever. Those two certainly weren't overly serious
posted by Harpocrates at 10:06 AM on March 27, 2013 [4 favorites]


FWIW, Bioshock Infinite is awesome. 1999 mode 4-life.
posted by Justinian at 10:10 AM on March 27, 2013


Wonderful.
posted by mrgrimm at 10:30 AM on March 27, 2013


RAMIREZ, PULL THE BIG LEVER!

RAMIREZ, GRAB A MEDKIT!

RAMIREZ, KILL ROBOT HITLER!
posted by Blue Meanie at 10:38 AM on March 27, 2013 [2 favorites]


Ahh that Quake one was terrific. Particularly like the difficulty options!
posted by Mister_A at 10:39 AM on March 27, 2013


I just downloaded Team Fortress 2 last night (I know, late to the party) and I'm happy to report that Quake still lives.
posted by echo target at 10:41 AM on March 27, 2013 [4 favorites]


FWIW, Bioshock Infinite is awesome. 1999 mode 4-life.

The ending is sort of a mindfuck, though. At least it has an ending, rather than just sort of stopping, which is another problem with modern video games.
posted by Elementary Penguin at 10:50 AM on March 27, 2013


Aghhh! No Bioshock spoilers please - it hasn't even been out for more than two days and some of us have day jobs!

Quake one was good - I felt that the others stretched on a bit too long.
posted by YAMWAK at 11:00 AM on March 27, 2013


At least it has an ending, rather than just sort of stopping, which is another problem with modern video games.

Starting at least with Call of Duty, which I still like. The game has no plot at all, which is for the better, considering what Infinity Ward did with the later games.
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 11:26 AM on March 27, 2013


Yeah.

I think a lot of those incessant hints are due to crappy/lazy map design. You're basically chained to a rail, but the only way forward is some ladder the designer hid behind a rock that's in the opposite direction from your destination (and the direct route is blocked by a waist-high hill or some traffic barriers).
posted by cosmic.osmo at 11:39 AM on March 27, 2013 [1 favorite]


I think any moderately self-aware person has that filter that alerts them when they're about to, say, make a sweeping moral indictment of society based on changing gameplay preferences in first-person shooters, but especially after watching the Quake video the pot is right on the edge of boiling over here, let me tell you.
posted by invitapriore at 1:47 PM on March 27, 2013 [1 favorite]


I wish there were more games made in the vein of No One Lives Forever. Those two certainly weren't overly serious

Try Borderlands, and Bulletstorm.

The History of Why I'm Tired Of Your Modern Shooters
posted by Charlemagne In Sweatpants at 2:43 PM on March 27, 2013 [9 favorites]


You know what weirded me out even more than the Call of Duty stuff? When he started to look up and down in Doom. You can't look up and down in Doom, that's just wrong!

(yes, I know there are modifications to the source that implement y-shearing which allows you to look up and down in Doom, but those are abominations! You can't mouselook in Doom, damnit!)
posted by gkhan at 3:13 PM on March 27, 2013


Charlemagne: Fantastic article. There should be a sign at the entrance of the Internet: "Must be at least this good at writing to ride."
posted by cthuljew at 4:37 PM on March 27, 2013


Seconded. Thanks, Charlemagne In Sweatpants.
posted by homunculus at 8:42 PM on March 27, 2013


I really would just like more No One Lives Forever.
posted by El Sabor Asiatico at 8:47 PM on March 27, 2013


All I know is that we used to play Unreal Tournament using mods to change the character models and sounds, and so there would be eight Homer Simpsons running around shouting "ouch, my bones...and organs!" whenever they got shot.

get off my virtual lawn
posted by davejay at 9:06 PM on March 27, 2013


Thirded, CIS. At first I thought it was going to be that crazy Nietzschean, icycalm, but it turned out not to be, and I exhaled with relief.
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 9:17 PM on March 27, 2013 [1 favorite]


Justinian: "FWIW, Bioshock Infinite is awesome. 1999 mode 4-life."

Finished it, but 1999 Mode isn't showing up in any of the menus. As I was able to determine, the Konami code was only supposed to be needed to open it early.
posted by Samizdata at 7:03 AM on March 28, 2013


I just downloaded Team Fortress 2 last night (I know, late to the party) and I'm happy to report that Quake still lives.

I sill remember an article about that new-and-exciting Quake mod, Team Fortress. Time flies.
posted by ersatz at 11:07 AM on March 28, 2013


The History of Why I'm Tired Of Your Modern Shooters

Brilliant article. That cost me the best part of half an hour to read without begrudging the time spent.
posted by MartinWisse at 2:52 PM on March 28, 2013


Also, I now want to get myself an Xbox 360 less for Red Dead Redemption and more for Vanquish.
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 8:25 PM on March 28, 2013


What It’s Like to Play ‘Team Fortress 2′ on the Oculus Rift Virtual Reality Headset
posted by homunculus at 1:10 PM on April 5, 2013


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