CrimERRR!
March 30, 2013 6:07 AM   Subscribe

VOISEOVER: In a Citey wher thers Somuchcrimes , theDetetcive is onthe Case... DETETCIVE: Stop crimeing! VOISEOVER: But Oneproblam... Crimer! (Single link Twitter feed.)
posted by oliverburkeman (61 comments total) 39 users marked this as a favorite

 
Thank you for pointing this out sir; you have ruined any possibility of being on time to work.
posted by artof.mulata at 6:18 AM on March 30, 2013


Me hear this am #1 last place show on Bizarro World.
posted by PlusDistance at 6:23 AM on March 30, 2013 [4 favorites]


Me hear this am #1 last place show on Bizarro World.

Me hear LOLCats won Bizarro World Emmy for best writing.
posted by jonp72 at 6:28 AM on March 30, 2013


Tanks for this. It funney.
posted by double block and bleed at 6:31 AM on March 30, 2013


POLISE: We knuw yor inther Crimer. Yor suroundied ! Giev yorself Up ! CRIMER: Okaey ! (turns to camera) Im not Realy in ther

lol
posted by (Arsenio) Hall and (Warren) Oates at 6:35 AM on March 30, 2013 [2 favorites]


(puts on more sunglasses)
posted by mhoye at 6:48 AM on March 30, 2013 [4 favorites]


eat your heart out, samuel clemens, we have found your superior
posted by This, of course, alludes to you at 6:53 AM on March 30, 2013 [2 favorites]


Rumour has it next season they'll introduce a K9 unit played by a shiba inu.
posted by seanmpuckett at 7:00 AM on March 30, 2013 [4 favorites]


Brought to you by the maker of Adventure Time brand logic puzzles!
posted by psoas at 7:04 AM on March 30, 2013


Pokey the Penguin in text form... Itse briollant! DONT EAT MY TASTY IRON FILINGs, ITALIANS!!!!
posted by Michael Roberts at 7:05 AM on March 30, 2013 [4 favorites]


This reminds me so much of Achewood strips where Philippe writes a story.
posted by Pope Guilty at 7:08 AM on March 30, 2013 [11 favorites]


It's just like Axe Cop, except without the graphics. Or the humor.
posted by Malor at 7:32 AM on March 30, 2013 [2 favorites]


Notagain ! Hes is Alwaeys onestep ahed !
posted by Artw at 7:34 AM on March 30, 2013 [1 favorite]


Some even got on the mayor!
posted by moonmilk at 7:35 AM on March 30, 2013 [3 favorites]


IT IS THEE SCROUGE OF MEFATILTER... GRUMPER!!
posted by sonic meat machine at 7:35 AM on March 30, 2013 [14 favorites]


IT IS THEE SCROUGE OF MEFATILTER... GRUMPER!!

ORIGUNLE POSTR: Iam liken thishere posts. GRUMPER: Seams rathr dum toome. ORIGUNLE POSTR: Maykewith them flags an that. GRUMPER: (puts on sunglasses) Dem flags be dum too.
posted by (Arsenio) Hall and (Warren) Oates at 7:44 AM on March 30, 2013 [40 favorites]


DETETCIVEWIFE: Flouwers !You rember my Birtdoy! DETETCIVE: Uh..yess? DETETCIVEWIFE: (reads note) These am From Crimer ! DETETCIVE: CrimERRR!

Aww. Is notsomuch badguy!
posted by droplet at 7:44 AM on March 30, 2013 [4 favorites]


Grate.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 7:52 AM on March 30, 2013


SHUT UP....CRIMER!

GRUMPER: LAWL. EXTIANS!
posted by Samizdata at 8:09 AM on March 30, 2013 [1 favorite]


Is called Wagunweel! you put cheez in tween 2 crakkers. KIDS: TimERRR!
posted by Horace Rumpole at 8:10 AM on March 30, 2013 [11 favorites]


Its is Mor than 27,000,00 crimes.
posted by infinitewindow at 8:36 AM on March 30, 2013 [2 favorites]


BADGUY: Iwish I be Asgood as Crimer.Hes is the beste of Crimeing. VOISEOVER: This its True . BADGUY: But Im try mybeste . Imtry So hard


"Im try mybeste . Imtry So hard" is going to be my new mantra.
posted by The otter lady at 8:43 AM on March 30, 2013 [7 favorites]


I don't understand why I like this so much
posted by sweetkid at 9:11 AM on March 30, 2013 [10 favorites]


The thing is, if you're not careful, then all TV starts to sound like this.
posted by The Whelk at 9:14 AM on March 30, 2013 [4 favorites]


I'd say if you are careful all TV sounds like this.
posted by Michael Roberts at 9:30 AM on March 30, 2013 [1 favorite]


The thing is, if you're not careful, then all TV starts to sound like this.

You are not the first to make this observation.
posted by mightygodking at 9:35 AM on March 30, 2013 [1 favorite]


Bemused that my darling bf likes this, but is angry while reading Riddley Walker.
posted by gusandrews at 9:36 AM on March 30, 2013 [2 favorites]


Actually, it appears CrimerShow may have some connections to other bad tv (one of two accounts Crimer Show follows).
posted by gusandrews at 9:43 AM on March 30, 2013 [1 favorite]


CRIMER: (on rooftop) (turns to camera) Im do crimes... (puts on sunglasses) allthe Times
posted by lattiboy at 9:54 AM on March 30, 2013


ah, some of these are so good. i know it's been done to death, but I'm wondering exactly why the image of the policechief shaking his fist at the sky yelling "CrimERRRR!!" as the camera pans overhead is so resonant? Was there a cartoon character in the late 80s early 90s whose name had a similar cadence? Or, who was the original fist shaker at the sky? Do bonobos exhibit sky fist shaking? Is it in Gilgamesh or the Upanishads or something? Some recurring nemesis maybe, but who. Who? WHOOOOOO???? (shakes fist at the sky)


Similarly, buzzfeed please get on the top 15 angry fist shakes at the sky of all time, please.

posted by notesondismantling at 10:09 AM on March 30, 2013 [6 favorites]


It's like Milt Gross all over again!
posted by TheCoug at 10:13 AM on March 30, 2013


Can't find gay subtext.
posted by Devonian at 10:20 AM on March 30, 2013 [1 favorite]


Police Chief With A Thousand Faces.
posted by migurski at 10:45 AM on March 30, 2013 [2 favorites]


notesondisnantling, it reminds me of the Dirty Harry spoof Sledge Hammer. The Chief on that show would scream "HamMER" after Sledge did something extreme, like turning off his police radio by shooting it or stopping a rooftop sniper by demolishing the building.
posted by infinitewindow at 10:53 AM on March 30, 2013 [1 favorite]


FREINTS.

oh god I am dying over here
posted by Countess Elena at 11:04 AM on March 30, 2013


are there any plans to monetize these?

if i could sell shirts, i'd have no problem running a few of these novelty twitters on the side just for pocket money.
posted by This, of course, alludes to you at 11:10 AM on March 30, 2013


I can't seem to read these without hearing Homestar Runner's voice.
posted by orme at 11:38 AM on March 30, 2013 [2 favorites]


“Crime,” declared the police captain, “is everywhere, crime, crime!” (from)
posted by en forme de poire at 11:49 AM on March 30, 2013 [1 favorite]


ript frum teh hedliens
posted by Rhaomi at 12:08 PM on March 30, 2013


Was there a cartoon character in the late 80s early 90s whose name had a similar cadence?

It's a reverse of good v. evil, but the only one I can think of is the bad guy in Inspector Gadget. I might be imagining it though.
posted by LionIndex at 12:39 PM on March 30, 2013


It's a reverse of good v. evil, but the only one I can think of is the bad guy in Inspector Gadget.

That's what immediately occurred to me, too. Maybe Mumm-Ra from Thundercats shouting his own name?
posted by Rock Steady at 12:55 PM on March 30, 2013


ha. thanks for the tips. a little youtube procedural work has led me to believe a certain 'shreDDERRR!!' might be the one I was after, tho I'm thinking we'll round up the usual suspects anyway, just to be safe. you can never be too careful with these things.
posted by notesondismantling at 2:05 PM on March 30, 2013 [1 favorite]


I'm wondering exactly why the image of the policechief shaking his fist at the sky yelling "CrimERRRR!!" as the camera pans overhead is so resonant? Was there a cartoon character in the late 80s early 90s ...

TETSUOOOOOO!
posted by Termite at 2:37 PM on March 30, 2013 [2 favorites]


If there's one thing I've learnt from this, it's to add more sunglasses.
posted by arcticseal at 2:55 PM on March 30, 2013


This really needs to join forces with Lolcats.
posted by meese at 3:15 PM on March 30, 2013


This is basically LAW AND ORDER: DOLAN.

detetcive pls
posted by Mr. Bad Example at 3:22 PM on March 30, 2013 [2 favorites]


I love that the stage directions are all perfectly spelled and grammatically correct.
posted by hwestiii at 5:59 PM on March 30, 2013 [2 favorites]


Jeanius.
posted by awfurby at 6:32 PM on March 30, 2013


You will suffer large, not-humans!
posted by Brocktoon at 7:49 PM on March 30, 2013


I can't seem to read these without hearing Homestar Runner's voice.

For me, it's the voice of BMO from Adventure Time (a la "BMO Noire").
posted by caaaaaam at 8:45 PM on March 30, 2013 [1 favorite]


Was there a cartoon character in the late 80s early 90s whose name had a similar cadence?

Slimer, from the Ghostbusters cartoon. At least, that's what I think of every time I see "CrimERRRR!!"
posted by moss at 9:24 PM on March 30, 2013 [1 favorite]


DETETCIVEWIFE: Yu slepe goode ? DETETCIVE: No .Im fel offthe Bed. DETETCIVEWIFE: Mor bad draems? DETETCIVE: (looks out window) Terbil draems

This is hilarious, but I can't shake the feeling that I'm reading Chaucer here.
posted by en forme de poire at 8:04 AM on March 31, 2013 [5 favorites]


friend bear?! Pokey the Penguin in text form... Itse briollant! DONT EAT MY TASTY IRON FILINGs, ITALIANS!!!!
posted by curious nu at 9:11 AM on March 31, 2013 [1 favorite]


it reminds me of the Dirty Harry spoof Sledge Hammer.

Oh, Sledge Hammer is so good. The DVD release took out the laugh track, and it makes it so much more grimly satirical.

Youtube has a bunch of episodes, including the Robocop spoof, Hammeroid.
posted by lkc at 11:11 AM on March 31, 2013 [1 favorite]


Ugh, what an awesome concept delivered terribly. I mean, I loled (many times), but Twitter ain't meant for this.
posted by spamguy at 9:39 AM on April 1, 2013



Ugh, what an awesome concept delivered terribly. I mean, I loled (many times), but Twitter ain't meant for this.


I disagree with every word of this except for the 'awesome' part.
posted by sweetkid at 9:49 AM on April 1, 2013 [4 favorites]


Yeah, for me, this pretty much defined what Twitter is for.
posted by meese at 9:54 AM on April 1, 2013


wheez Nartives kaputrupt stop na for zeers none seizing 2ord dezz maginationsfully mys tributionz derns log-diet.
posted by wallstreet1929 at 5:22 PM on April 1, 2013


Now I'm really intrigued by this! It's another reminder that you can produce compelling drama and characters with such a minimal amount of text!
posted by Multicellular Exothermic at 9:24 AM on April 2, 2013


Okay, so there's a website: http://www.crimershow.com/
posted by Multicellular Exothermic at 6:21 PM on April 3, 2013 [1 favorite]


Was there a cartoon character in the late 80s early 90s whose name had a similar cadence?

Swiper! No swiping!
posted by FelliniBlank at 7:08 AM on April 5, 2013 [1 favorite]


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