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"Coffee ... is still just roasted beans and water"
April 16, 2013 9:03 AM   Subscribe

Coffee Power To The People - "There are three young men in the Netherlands who want to take the barista, whom they see as a part-TEDx presenter, part-birthday magician, out of the equation. They want people to make their own coffee, and to make coffee they can be proud of."
posted by the man of twists and turns (62 comments total) 18 users marked this as a favorite

 
I do like that "TEDx presenter" is being used as a putdown.

It's kind of silly to cast this in such prescriptive terms though. I make my own coffee, somewhat carefully, sometimes. But I don't have to sign on to a cartoonish anti-specialization jeremiad. Sometimes I prefer the convenience or the expertise supplied by a professional. The part of the piece that calls for real coffee over instant and standardized brews -- yeah, of course, if you can swing it. But there's nothing wrong with a barista.

Shades here of the kvetches that tell me to build my own computers, fix my own car engines, do my own home repairs, use shell scripts and vi instead of purpose-built software, kill a man with my own hands, etc.
posted by grobstein at 9:12 AM on April 16, 2013 [7 favorites]


Another thing to consider is that the reason that lots of people go for instant or boring brews is because for them, coffee is not a pleasant ritual, it is a caffiene delivery system, and they don't give a fuck about any of the fancy foofoo they just want a god-damn cup of coffee in the morning is that too much to ask....?

Um. The previous was my illustration of what such a person's mood would be, of course, and not my own snit. (cough)
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 9:16 AM on April 16, 2013 [16 favorites]


"Coffee – even the finest, most confident, most edifying – is still just roasted beans and water."

And savoring it is still just pouring hot liquid into my digestion organ, but I like to think of it as being more than that.
posted by Celsius1414 at 9:17 AM on April 16, 2013 [9 favorites]


And by the same token, some of them don't want it to taste like coffee, they'd rather it taste like caffeinated milk or chocolate or caramel or whatever. You don't have to like coffee to drink coffee.
posted by Holy Zarquon's Singing Fish at 9:18 AM on April 16, 2013


The first cup of coffee for most coffee drinkers is a kind of ritual. What is important to remember is that everyone has their own ritual.

For some it is brewing their own. For others it's standing in line at their local coffee-shop. For some it is the taste, for others (as mentioned above) it is about getting that caffeine rush into your body as quickly as possible. To each their own.
posted by Fizz at 9:21 AM on April 16, 2013 [4 favorites]


For me the ritual is missing my train while waiting for the coffee from the little place down in the subway station.
posted by ts;dr at 9:26 AM on April 16, 2013 [7 favorites]


Well it just so happens that I'm starting a coffee shop where all the baristas are TEDx presenters and birthday magicians.
posted by RobotHero at 9:32 AM on April 16, 2013 [17 favorites]


In my coffee shop, when ordering, the customers will first have to give a TEDx presentation and will only then be handed their beans.
posted by Drastic at 9:41 AM on April 16, 2013 [2 favorites]


As seen in Stockholm, Berlin, and Brooklyn the future of coffee is here, it just needs to be distributed a bit more evenly.

Have none of these people been to or known anyone who has been to San Francisco?
posted by ennui.bz at 9:43 AM on April 16, 2013 [4 favorites]


And savoring it is still just pouring hot liquid into my digestion organ, but I like to think of it as being more than that.

I've met various people in my life who for some reason (incomprehensible to me) would prefer food/nutrition to be simplified into pill form, or some equivalent. I enjoy my taste-buds and I like to think they are there for a reason but many people just don't care and they just want it to be over and done with.
posted by Fizz at 9:46 AM on April 16, 2013


When the barista is clueless I want to jump over the counter and make my own. The worst thing is when they've got no idea how to steam and they're generating a jug of scalding hot milk with cold foam on top, which is how the whole drink is going to turn out.

When you steam properly you instead get a jug of uniformly heated microfoam which pours through the surface of the espresso and gives the drink a velvety warm texture.
posted by w0mbat at 9:46 AM on April 16, 2013


All these people go to the expensive espresso bar with a hipster, rockstar barista. That’s not what we do. We want people to relearn what was lost.” Martijn and his friends thought the first step in this reeducation was breaking down walls. Particularly, the one between the front and back of the counter. Koffie Leute doesn’t hand customers coffee, it hands them the beans. The customer then pours the beans into a hand-powered burr grinder, closes its hatch, and gives the thing a good minute of spin. Next up is a trip to a specially rigged table the Leute made in the backyard, where filters are wetted and placed in V60s, with a fresh cup waiting on the gravity end. A few steady pours later and the coffee is ready to drink. This takes time, yes. But so does the thousand-euro rig on a matte-black counter. And here, the coffee masters are guiding and chatting every step of the way.

You know what? That's not a coffee shop, that's a coffee theme park, the children's science museum of coffee. If I want to grind my own beans and make my own coffee, I will stay home and do it in the comfort of my own kitchen.

Also, as much as I have champagne tastes and cook fancy vegan food all the time, I am really put off by this endless bourgeois language of "excellence", like our lives will have been totally wasted if every cup of coffee, every french fry, every burger, every artisanal-production sock, every hand-burnished key fob, was not absolutely the finest, most craftily sourced item made by a loyal retainer-craftsperson versed in the tradition of 500 years of sockery. I am just not that important, and do not need every moment of my life to be a peak experience, nor do I need servile and phony groveling from someone who pretends to be my "personal assistant on the way to the perfect cup of coffee".
posted by Frowner at 9:49 AM on April 16, 2013 [57 favorites]


My Hair is an Aeropress.

Your argument is invalid.
posted by The Power Nap at 9:52 AM on April 16, 2013 [4 favorites]


You know what? That's not a coffee shop, that's a coffee theme park, the children's science museum of coffee. If I want to grind my own beans and make my own coffee, I will stay home and do it in the comfort of my own kitchen.

Yeah, this sounds rather like an excuse to save on the expense of employees.

And it also reminds me of Kramer's pizza idea.
posted by Celsius1414 at 9:53 AM on April 16, 2013 [3 favorites]


A big part of the beauty of making your own X is that you can keep doing it Your Way without having to worry that BigCorp will stop carrying your particular flavor or will alter their process and ruin it for you or whatever. But this idea doesn't preserve that property. If you are going to make it yourself, just do that, at home. It's not a gym where it requires huge and hugely expensive equipment.

I don't get this fetish for turning every human activity into a business. Although now that I say that, I just got a great idea for a "poop bar" where you can get a little cubicle to poop in on the way to work and there would be newspapers and a drink machine in there and also video games and cats. I just need a trendy name. Poopr. SocialPoop. Po-Op (pronounced "poh-ahp" like "co-op").
posted by DU at 9:59 AM on April 16, 2013 [5 favorites]


I am just not that important, and do not need every moment of my life to be a peak experience, nor do I need servile and phony groveling from someone who pretends to be my "personal assistant on the way to the perfect cup of coffee".

MARKETING CONSULTANT: Gentlemen, I think we need to add the word "artisnal" to more of products.
posted by Fizz at 10:00 AM on April 16, 2013 [1 favorite]


I'm sure having your coffee-making ritual directed by a passionate expert leads to a deeper relationship with the beans and the process and a more meaningful experience with the brew, once you get over your initial disgust at its unusual taste. On the other hand, my Nespresso isn't a pompous hipster-hating hipster asshole who frowns on milk, so that's nice too.
posted by nicwolff at 10:00 AM on April 16, 2013 [1 favorite]


Shades here of the kvetches that tell me to build my own computers, fix my own car engines, do my own home repairs, use shell scripts and vi instead of purpose-built software...

There are perfectly valid reasons for doing all those things. The confusing part is when they tell you to do it yourself but at their office using their equipment. Like, "write your own scripts to be run inside our proprietary shell". Why?
posted by DU at 10:02 AM on April 16, 2013 [2 favorites]


I am all about learning to brew your own coffee, but paying someone to babysit me while I learn a Hario V60 seems like the opposite of do-it-yourself. It's the worst of both worlds; I'm not getting a coffee prepared by someone who literally makes coffee for a living, and I also have to wear pants, which makes it inferior to making it at home.

And for god's sake, get a better grinder. Look at how inconsistent those grounds are! /rant
posted by specialagentwebb at 10:04 AM on April 16, 2013 [5 favorites]


There is a little coffee shop in my town (has 3 tables) run by a guy who is also famous for performance art where he nails his dick to a table. Anyway, he's Very Serious about coffee. No paper cups, and you pay only after drinking your espresso, otherwise it would get cold and "break" the flavour.

He once lectured me about why my taste in coffee beans is an abomination and an insult to the entire idea of coffee.
posted by KokuRyu at 10:05 AM on April 16, 2013 [9 favorites]


It's an interesting experiment, and I appreciate the increased exposure of coffee drinkers to the process and product itself, just as an active roaster in the shop generates interest and fills the air with the aroma of coffee.

It is, however, a further step away from controllable consistency toward unrepeatable magic by having customers pour their own cone brew— the V60 and other standard cones are timed only by the size of the grounds, so grind size affects brew time as well as extraction.

My anecdata as a barista for several years indicates that the folks who bought a Chemex, Aeropress, or regular french press from us kept coming back to try different beans and often would buy other brew hardware to compare— in addition to their morning cup or afternoon macchiato.

When you steam properly you instead get a jug of uniformly heated microfoam which pours through the surface of the espresso and gives the drink a velvety warm texture.
posted by w0mbat


This problem is hopefully dwindling, where shops that specialize in drip coffee tend to have poor milk technique, and latte/cap shops often offer a heavyhanded drip roast.
posted by a halcyon day at 10:05 AM on April 16, 2013 [1 favorite]


On the other hand, if this were couched as "social coffee classes" where experts teach you how to make a fine cup of joe while you have fun with others, I think I would be okay with it.

So I think I'm reacting to the pretention rather than the activity/business itself.
posted by Celsius1414 at 10:06 AM on April 16, 2013 [2 favorites]


"where he nails his dick to a table"

Was not expecting to read that at all and now think I will forgo my morning cup of coffee. That was all the fear and adrenaline I needed today thankyouverymuch.

and i'm kind of curled up in the fetal position too owwwww
posted by raihan_ at 10:09 AM on April 16, 2013 [1 favorite]


Martijn and his friends

Of course it had to be a Martijn.
posted by MartinWisse at 10:10 AM on April 16, 2013 [1 favorite]


I might conceivably pay good money to have a Fancy Thing (probably not coffee, as I'm not really fussy about coffee) made by someone at a Fancy Hipster Shop provided that there didn't have to be a lot of ideology associated with it. Like, what about "Fancy Thing is tasty! Many people enjoy it because Reasons!" rather than "Fancy Thing is made in the artisanal tradition of The Peasants Before They Were Corrupted By Capitalism and we should all be harking back to peasant ways - although no one wants to be an actual peasant, just a fantasy peasant - because living in the way that seems best to you, you sadly misinformed person, is actually woefully inauthentic, makes you unhappy, prematurely aged and fat and cannot possibly be enjoyed for itself, particularly once you have tasted Fancy Thing, which you should save all your money for, because 'I can't afford Fancy Thing' just means that you are not budgeting correctly, because we should all always buy the best we can afford".
posted by Frowner at 10:12 AM on April 16, 2013 [7 favorites]


I just got a great idea for a "poop bar" where you can get a little cubicle to poop in on the way to work

You need 2theloo, which is actually quite a nice experience if you need a toilet when out: clean, comfie, fresh.

But never shit on way to work: do it at the office and make money doing it...
posted by MartinWisse at 10:14 AM on April 16, 2013 [1 favorite]


KokuRyu: "and you pay only after drinking your espresso, otherwise it would get cold and "break" the flavour"

Why can't you just pay first, like you would at, say, Starbucks?
posted by Joakim Ziegler at 10:14 AM on April 16, 2013 [1 favorite]


I mean, all this is really the capitalist sublime, right? The assumption being that once we learn to consume correctly, to make an artistic performance out of consumption itself, our problems will fall away and we will be perfectly well adjusted to capitalist society, we will effortlessly be fashionable, well-dressed and healthy, we will have upper middle class incomes, etc. The problem is that we don't understand how to consume right.
posted by Frowner at 10:14 AM on April 16, 2013 [22 favorites]


I mean, all this is really the capitalist sublime, right?

Yes, and propagandised by people who don't realise that this is what they're doing, but who are genuinely enthusiastic about helping them consume better.
posted by MartinWisse at 10:17 AM on April 16, 2013 [4 favorites]


There is a little coffee shop in my town (has 3 tables) run by a guy who is also famous for performance art where he nails his dick to a table. Anyway, he's Very Serious about coffee. No paper cups, and you pay only after drinking your espresso, otherwise it would get cold and "break" the flavour.

Bob Flanagan: "While some of his performances were notable for acts of extreme masochism (on at least one occasion he hammered a nail through his penis, while cracking jokes), he also wrote humorous songs, many of them intended as much for children as adults."

But your guy is probably someone else, since Bob Flanagan died in '96 and seems to have lived in the wrong place. I am pretty curious!
posted by grobstein at 10:17 AM on April 16, 2013 [1 favorite]


Fizz - some of the people who you may not comprehend re: "getting the food thing over with" may or may not have a hate-hate relationship with food things... for example, due to many health reasons, I can no longer consume a huge amount of things that are consumable by a large many in our world. Doing so ranges from uncomfortableness to potential emergency-room-ness. It would be awesome if I didn't have to think about what I was going to eat/drink, because it was already handily done for me in a capsule.

(I suspect this is not the kind of person you are talking about, generally, though this may make more sense to you than some other explanations).
posted by bitterkitten at 10:17 AM on April 16, 2013 [1 favorite]


Also, regarding the pretense that's a big turnoff for most people, I think we're focused squarely on the Silver Lake Intelligentsia type, where the entire staff dresses more appropriately for an 1890s artisanal reënactment lookbook than preparing beverages using their hands.

It's a great space designed by Barbara Bestor, and it is Los Angeles, but come on. Compare this to the East Village's I Am Coffee, basically a closet with an espresso bar stuffed inside, where some friendly Italians make you a perfect cappuccino in a space that was built in Italy, dismantled, and shipped by containers to NYC.
posted by a halcyon day at 10:17 AM on April 16, 2013


Why can't you just pay first, like you would at, say, Starbucks?

Because then he nails *your* dick to the table...
posted by ennui.bz at 10:17 AM on April 16, 2013 [7 favorites]


It sounds like a co-op that rents coffee-brewing equipment and sells beans. I know of homebrew shops that do this, so I guess it can work...

But on the other hand, I know how good coffee made by a pro can be, and I own all the hardware I need. So why would I do this?
posted by wenestvedt at 10:17 AM on April 16, 2013


Bulk caffeine powder is surprisingly cheap: About 1.2 cents per 200mg dose.
posted by rustcrumb at 10:25 AM on April 16, 2013 [1 favorite]


Why can't you just pay first, like you would at, say, Starbucks?

I make it a point never to argue with people who nail their dick to a table on a regular basis in front of a live audience.
posted by KokuRyu at 10:29 AM on April 16, 2013 [1 favorite]


The problem is that we don't understand how to consume right.

Yes, this is a better-put version of what I was trying to say.
posted by DU at 10:30 AM on April 16, 2013


Shades here of the kvetches that tell me to build my own computers, fix my own car engines, do my own home repairs....

You know, I do these things now. In fact, I just flushed the transmission on my Volvo because I knew that if I didn't take it to the dealer ($$$) the clowns at the chain would fill it with Mercon or Type F instead of 3309 and I'd wind up needing a new transmission. And _I_ think these guys need more fiber in their diets.
posted by Kid Charlemagne at 10:45 AM on April 16, 2013 [1 favorite]


Drastic: ... and will only then be handed their beans.

And if you've ever had your beans handed to you, you know how painful that can be.
posted by Greg_Ace at 10:52 AM on April 16, 2013 [1 favorite]


I walk 30 miles to work every day wearing hand sewn pants and moccasins that I made from the hide of a black bear that I killed with a stone axe knapped from a tabletop serenity fountain and hafted to the 150-year old left femur bone of the founder of my clan. My tunic is woven from fireweed fiber and decorated with burned-out resistors polished with beeswax.

When I get to work, I climb the 10 stories to my office floor hand-over-hand up the elevator cable (because the stairwell smells like stale piss). I work on a steam punk computer that I built entirely from recycled treadmills and home espresso machines from the local landfill (which is where I found the bear, too, sipping a latte and talking shit about Roland Barthes).

I don’t always drink coffee, but when I do, I prefer Starbux. Because I’m fucking tired, and the barista is kinda cute.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 10:53 AM on April 16, 2013 [30 favorites]


Frowner: as much as I have champagne tastes and cook fancy vegan food all the time, I am really put off by this endless bourgeois language of "excellence", like our lives will have been totally wasted if every cup of coffee, every french fry, every burger, every artisanal-production sock, every hand-burnished key fob, was not absolutely the finest, most craftily sourced item made by a loyal retainer-craftsperson versed in the tradition of 500 years of sockery.

Part of my enjoyment of William Gibson's "Bigend" trilogy is a simultaneous envy and horror (there's probably a perfect word for this in French or German) of the kind of world where [spoilers for Zero History, but if you were going to read it you probably already have] a major part of the plot revolves around the hunt for the designer of an extremely exclusive brand of jeans, who is eventually revealed to be the protagonist of an earlier Gibson book who has an exquisite sensitivity to the viability of brands that's almost mutant-like. The degree of reverence that Gibson shows for certain objects (including the London hotel that some of his characters stay in) elevates them to the importance of really great loot drops in World of Warcraft, the ones that you only get if you really know your shit, your guild really knows their shit, and you spend enough time raiding that it becomes a second job. (Or, what It's Raining Florence Henderson says above.)

As for these clowns:
All avenues are welcome, save one. “Milk is just used to hide imperfections,” spits Olivier. “We don’t mind sugar – it is your coffee – but milk is frowned upon.”
Ah, there's the rubber chicken.
posted by Halloween Jack at 11:00 AM on April 16, 2013


...hafted to the 150-year old left femur bone of the founder of my clan.

I mean, sure, you *could* use the left femur, but if you're serious about your artisanal tools, you really have to use the right femur -- the best boneistas know it's stronger since right-handed people tend to pivot with that leg, thus promoting strength and density.
posted by Celsius1414 at 11:01 AM on April 16, 2013 [2 favorites]


Dutch coffee shop, hmm. Are we talking about coffee?

Yeah, I don't need a tattooed, self-important barista "artiste" to sling me some joe either but I still like the ambience of going to a nice cafe and having a decent muffin and coffee. Especially as a tourist traveling in Europe or even in other cities here I am not going to sit in a crummy little apartment or hotel room in lieu of getting the local vibe and supporting a good local establishment (Not Star*ucks).

If a cafe gives me free wifi and a place to meet friends or lovers then it is worth supporting. I have to say the guys from Koffie Leute sound a little too much like the "part-TEDx presenter, part-birthday magician" they want to get rid of.
posted by JJ86 at 11:08 AM on April 16, 2013 [2 favorites]


Simple trick I use so that good or bad coffee is indistinguishable:
1. get old
2. taste buds dead or mostly dying
3. everything tastes like everything else.
posted by Postroad at 11:17 AM on April 16, 2013 [5 favorites]


and here, the coffee masters are guiding and chatting every step of the way

Why the fuck are you chatting at me just give me my goddamn cup of coffee. We're not friends, especially not before I get the hot bean water in my gullet. Gimme.
posted by windykites at 11:18 AM on April 16, 2013 [4 favorites]


The first cup of coffee for most coffee drinkers is a kind of ritual. What is important to remember is that everyone has their own ritual.

My ritual includes wistful daydreaming about how nice it would be to have someone else fix my coffee for me.
posted by straight at 11:23 AM on April 16, 2013 [1 favorite]


I would just like to express my thanks and appreciation to the government of Ontario and Canada for the fact that there is no sales tax on coffee beans or grounds purchased for home brewing, it being correctly recognized as an essential food product.
posted by seanmpuckett at 11:30 AM on April 16, 2013 [4 favorites]


Juan Valdez scrapes the burro shit off his shoes before he enters the hut. He plops the burlap sack down on the table and dusts his hands on his loose cotton trousers before removing his oversized sombrero, holds it like a shield in front of him by its carefully rolled brim.

Ho-kay. That's twenty Euros for the coffee, plus two bags of oats for my burro.

He glances furtively around the room, to be sure we are alone. Please, senor. Don't drink that shit here, he says, The Americans, you know, they are everywhere nowadays.

I throw the Euros on the floor in front of him, gesture to the oat bags near the door.

Get out! Get out!

I follow him to the door, heave it shut, and drop its heavy bar into place. Even as his footsteps fade I am drawing the toasting pan from my kitbag. I light the burner, then place my steel pot over the tiny blue flame.

The ritual begins.
posted by mule98J at 11:35 AM on April 16, 2013 [3 favorites]


This coffee 'n' hugs approach has a weird inverse Fight Club vibe.
posted by ouke at 11:55 AM on April 16, 2013 [1 favorite]


First rule of kaffee klatsch is you must continuously talk about kaffee klatsch.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 12:05 PM on April 16, 2013 [6 favorites]


I mean, all this is really the capitalist sublime, right?

I've been thinking about this a bit lately. The language attached to such endeavors reeks of elitist bourgeois bullshit and is completely deserving of mockery ("Their focus is on the Spring side of the spectrum; notes of cilantro, anise, jasmine, and basil" my ass). But that schtick masks the interesting aspect of the loathsome DIY artisinal maker craft outposts of the world.

First off, by emphasizing craft, they're challenging stigmas attached to the sort of factory and service jobs that they're creating. The foofaraw doesn't just concern the qualities of the product, but the means by which is was produced, and the people who produced it. This asserts manufacturing and service jobs as worthy and volitional career choices, rather than things that people just end up doing.

Second, they're getting consumers to buy products at much higher prices. In theory, this should actually result in buyers consuming less, since they will be able to afford fewer items. And while I doubt it plays out in practice, the normalization of higher prices, coupled with a focus on production and producers, should enable these small manufacturers and service providers to give their employees something closer to a living wage.

So it's all bullshit. But if you pull back the curtain of crass consumerism and peek inside, it could be bullshit in the force of good.
posted by evidenceofabsence at 12:21 PM on April 16, 2013 [2 favorites]


I just got a great idea for a "poop bar" where you can get a little cubicle to poop in on the way to work and there would be newspapers and a drink machine in there and also video games and cats.

This was actually a subplot on a King of the Hill episode.
posted by benito.strauss at 12:27 PM on April 16, 2013


I make it a point never to argue with people who nail their dick to a table

Why not? It's not like like they can chase after you if you decide to run away.
posted by benito.strauss at 12:31 PM on April 16, 2013 [9 favorites]


All avenues are welcome, save one. “Milk is just used to hide imperfections,” spits Olivier. “We don’t mind sugar – it is your coffee – but milk is frowned upon.”

oh man, now I actually do want to go here, just to put milk in my coffee. I can't believe these wankers feel there might be something worthwhile about reproducing the chicory coffee replacement from the war, but draw the line at milk.

on the other hand, this line:
So how is the coffee? It’s…different, of course. Brown more than black and without any sort of lemony scorch.

um. This 'lemony scorch' sounds unpleasant, is this something coffee is supposed to have?
posted by jacalata at 12:37 PM on April 16, 2013 [1 favorite]


Espresso is sublime. Some would say it is the most vivid and true liquid embodiment of the smell of freshly ground beans. High-quality espresso is also cost-prohibitive to make yourself (for most folks), and espresso machines work best when you get them humming and you are surfing that water temperature to keep it in the money spot for every shot, not heating it up once a morning to pull just one for yourself.

If these jokers want to suggest that making espresso is not a legitimate method for brewing coffee they can nail their dicks on top of that other guy's dick.
posted by TheRedArmy at 12:50 PM on April 16, 2013 [7 favorites]


@grobstein
I do like that "TEDx presenter" is being used as a putdown.
Except for the TEDxyzzy people everyone agrees with
posted by This, of course, alludes to you at 1:05 PM on April 16, 2013


So it's all bullshit. But if you pull back the curtain of crass consumerism and peek inside, it could be bullshit in the force of good.

There's something I'm not liking about your argument, but my brain is too overworked to formulate it clearly right now: How can selling artisanal hot air be a force for good? What happens to your well-compensated workers when the buying public moves on to the next trend?
posted by Dr Dracator at 3:09 PM on April 16, 2013 [1 favorite]


So it's like Build-a-bear for coffee. Why don't they just offer a class?
posted by BlackLeotardFront at 4:50 PM on April 16, 2013 [2 favorites]


TheRedArmy: "Espresso is sublime. Some would say it is the most vivid and true liquid embodiment of the smell of freshly ground beans. ... If these jokers want to suggest that making espresso is not a legitimate method for brewing coffee they can nail their dicks on top of that other guy's dick."

God, I love this site!
posted by barnacles at 12:32 AM on April 17, 2013 [2 favorites]


Frowner, thank you for providing me with the missing last chapter of "Debt: The First 5000 Years" and pushing me one step further towards living out of a trailer and proudly reclaiming my poorwhite roots.

It's Raining Florence Henderson, thank you for giving me a reason to get up in the morning.

Personally, I think the idea of the place draws the line between "counter staff" and "college instructor" a little too close to the latter for my comfort. If I want my choices to be frowned at in the service of making every moment a Teachable Experience, I'll go to work. Or Weight Watchers.
posted by katya.lysander at 3:28 PM on April 17, 2013


There is a little coffee shop in my town (has 3 tables) run by a guy who is also famous for performance art where he nails his dick to a table.

Aw, I was just in Victoria. If only I had known about this place.
posted by Pruitt-Igoe at 9:03 PM on April 17, 2013


Dammit, I live in Victoria. I enjoy coffee. I would totally watch someone nail their penis to a table while enjoying some coffee. Where is this place?
posted by mock at 6:20 PM on April 18, 2013 [1 favorite]


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