De W van wakker, stamppot eten

April 21, 2013 8:07 AM

The upcoming inauguration of Willem-Alexander as King of the Netherlands has united his people in their hatred of the Koningslied, especially the lyrics written by committee.
posted by saucysault (54 comments total)

Yeah, pretty much. My closest Dutch friend here in Heidelberg -- who will be making a special trip back home for the inauguration, apparently it's quite a big deal -- was complaining about this song all day yesterday. I think the phrase "a national embarrassment" may have been used.
posted by kyrademon at 8:33 AM on April 21, 2013

Uch, I can't wait until this whole abdication/inauguration thing is over.

I know most dutch are in favor of our monarchy, but I'm not and am getting sick of all things orange.


LEVE DE REPUBLIEK!!!
posted by Pendragon at 8:45 AM on April 21, 2013 [4 favorites]

I like the idea of a country singing to its king on his inauguration day. The lyrics to this song are a little confusing (or maybe the translation is a little off?). Is the country watching over the king while he sleeps, or is the king supposed to be watching over the country while they sleep?

Either way, it ends up sounding a lot like creepy Edward Cullen.
posted by Brody's chum at 8:46 AM on April 21, 2013 [5 favorites]

They should've updated the tradition and have the people of the Netherlands produce King-related fan art and gif sets.
posted by The Whelk at 8:53 AM on April 21, 2013 [6 favorites]

wow that song is a trainwreck.

question from an ignorant Merkin: are these supposed to be regular ol' Dutch folks or are they musical celebrities of some sort?
posted by xbonesgt at 8:57 AM on April 21, 2013

Thankfully it's been dumped!
posted by wingless_angel at 9:11 AM on April 21, 2013 [2 favorites]

The video's over five minutes long, but for anyone wanting just a taste, I suggest skipping to the 3 minute mark and seeing how long you can take it.
posted by deludingmyself at 9:35 AM on April 21, 2013 [1 favorite]

Wow. Yikes. I wonder what early-nineties Disney princess movie that was cut from.
posted by Sys Rq at 9:39 AM on April 21, 2013 [2 favorites]

I suggest skipping to the 3 minute mark and seeing how long you can take it.

that's about how far i made it - i've had to listen to this several times to forget the horrors of dutch "musical celebrities"
posted by pyramid termite at 9:43 AM on April 21, 2013

And people keep being surprised we never get into the Eurovision Song contest finals anymore...

But the average cloggie does have an abysmal taste in music, as in much else, so it does fit the national mood.
posted by MartinWisse at 9:57 AM on April 21, 2013

King-related fan art

This basically already happens. Among other things when I was in Amsterdam two weeks ago, I saw plates, LPs, and cheeses related to the event.
posted by louie at 10:04 AM on April 21, 2013

(And for reasons I can't put my finger on, it all felt much less horrible than the similar prince-wedding stuff from the UK.)
posted by louie at 10:04 AM on April 21, 2013

Wait...is this not a joke?
I just assumed from this image that this was some sort of parody...
posted by Jazz.bot at 10:14 AM on April 21, 2013

Nope, that's our current queen and future king.... ugh....
posted by Pendragon at 10:20 AM on April 21, 2013

Wait...is this not a joke?

Sadly, no. There's a huge sycophantic part of the Dutch population who cream their pants at anything royal.
posted by MartinWisse at 10:20 AM on April 21, 2013

Every King gets the song he deserves.

(Dutch expat and anti-monarchist here. Leve de Republiek!)
posted by monospace at 10:23 AM on April 21, 2013

"...especially the lyrics written by committee."

Can this be MeFi Music Monthly Challenge #66 please?
posted by klarck at 10:25 AM on April 21, 2013 [5 favorites]

Whatever, you guys are just jealous that time-travel Mark Wahlberg isn't playing bandoneon on your choral rap album.
posted by Benjamin Nushmutt at 10:27 AM on April 21, 2013

Just wait for that other concert on coronation day. They arranged the world famous Concertgebouworkest for a special occasion. To play Mahler you say? Well, not by a long shot, buddy. To play with fucking trance anthem guy Armin van Buuren.
Willem Alexander's nickname used to be Prince Pils (as in beer, not pills). With his sad disdain for anything culturally significant, I'd rather have King Ralph. Sic gloria transit mundi.
posted by ouke at 10:36 AM on April 21, 2013

maybe the translation is a little off?

Dutch is close enough to English to make sense of a lot of the Dutch lyrics - for example the title on this page (taken from the lyrics) is "The W for waking, eating [popular comfort food potato and vegatable dish]"; because like most people, two of the archtypical things I think about when I think of anyone from the Netherlands are waking and eating stew.
posted by saucysault at 10:55 AM on April 21, 2013

I am so happy I am going to be six time zones away on the day of the coronation.

Don't hold this against the new King though, this is mostly the monarchists, as MartinWisse correctly states.
posted by DreamerFi at 11:01 AM on April 21, 2013

Probably a dumb question, but what's wrong with Het Wilhelmus?
posted by languagehat at 11:01 AM on April 21, 2013 [1 favorite]

Also to call stamppot a stew is to ignore its heavy historical significance as the food the liberated city of Leiden ate when the Sea Beggars drove off the Spanish arny.
Leve de Republiek!
posted by 1adam12 at 11:10 AM on April 21, 2013 [2 favorites]

Don't get met started on Het Wilhelmus... Such a dull tune... sounds like a dirge...
posted by Pendragon at 11:14 AM on April 21, 2013

This is interesting. I've got a party in the Netherlands next Sunday. Had no idea about the coronation (other than having heard about it awhile back). I'll be back in Switzerland by the coronation.
posted by Goofyy at 11:25 AM on April 21, 2013

I was born in Leiden, so I think that gives me enough knowledge to state that stamppot had nothing to do with the events in 1574. That was hutspot.
posted by DreamerFi at 11:41 AM on April 21, 2013 [5 favorites]

wat
posted by trip and a half at 11:47 AM on April 21, 2013 [1 favorite]

I'm a native Dutch speaker. Below is my translation (retaining the not really accurate 'stamppot' - 'stew' translation since I didn't know a better word - 'stamppot' consists of boiled potatoes mixed with various vegetables) based on this published text. Apologies in advance to English speakers everywhere, it's really that bad.

There you are
You already saw this moment so often in your dreams
And there it is
The day you knew would come is finally here
Are you ready?
Can you ever be?

There you are
Every man has a task in this life
Done everything to prepare
There it is
You vow to give it all
Every step you made led here
And look around you
We're walking with you

Through the rain and the wind
I will stand beside you
I protect you from anything that may come
I will wake as you sleep
I protect you from the storm
Keep you safe as long as I live

One battle, two lives
We stand together, unbreakable
One flag, two lions
Together in the sun and the rain
Side by side, chests out
Proud as peacocks, this is our sound
However small we may be
Our achievements are great
Will not fail
For you, my child
For my dad, for my mom
Walk for you through wind and rain
And will stand behind you
I bear a flag with your name on it
Believe in you as long as we exist
I build a dike with my bare hands
And keep the water away from you

Let me know what you dream
What your heart so longs for
I will not rest until it has become through
And if you ever lose your way
I'll be your beacon in the night
I'll show you the way to the harbour in the darkness

I will fight like a lion
Until you have everything you need
Keep you safe as long as I live

'W' for William
Three fingers in the air, come on, come on
'W' for William is 'W' for we
All of Orange stands side by side
'W' for water that we do not flee
We create dry land and build dikes
'W' for welcome in our midst
Whatever God you pray to
'W' for William
'W' for awake, eating stew
Millions of coaches who know better
'W' for always wanting to win
Whatever it is we enter into
'W' for we are one
Side by side
Which is why we cry out today

Through the rain and the wind
I will stand beside you
I protect you from anything that may come
I will wake as you sleep
I protect you from the storm
Keep you safe as long as I live

Let me know what you dream
What your heart so longs for
I will not rest until it has become through
And if you ever lose your way
I'll be your beacon in the night
I'll shouw you the way to the harbour in the darkness

I will fight like a lion
Until you have everything you need
Keep you safe as long as I live
posted by rjs at 11:50 AM on April 21, 2013 [14 favorites]

This is one of those signal 'I'm getting old' moments for me. A few years ago I would have been rolling my eyes over this so hard they'd have sounded like bowling balls. Now I'm just like 'oh, she's trying to show that granny how to do the w-thing... how sweet'.

Also, the fact that I don't speak Dutch probably helps. And the fact that I've spent time living in the USA, where one gets used to this brand of lay-it-on-thick sentimentality.
posted by Dreadnought at 11:54 AM on April 21, 2013

Well they can always enter it into Eurovision.
posted by PenDevil at 11:57 AM on April 21, 2013

But if everyone is united in a campaign against the song, who will be left to address the pressing question of which tiara Max will be wearing.
posted by Dr. Zira at 12:09 PM on April 21, 2013

That photo of the about-to-be King and current-Queen looks more like the freeze frame from the end credits of a terrible Disney Channel movie about European royalty than a photo of actual royalty. Like it should have the Perfect Strangers theme playing over it. Standing TALLLLL... on the wings of our dreams...
posted by DecemberBoy at 12:11 PM on April 21, 2013 [2 favorites]

I'm mildly interested and , thanks to flex, have been following posts about royal style so I've picked up some tidbits about the abdication and upcoming coronation as well as having a good look at Princess Maxima, who is the daughter of an Argentinian government official and herself worked as a banker before her marriage. She, as the wife of the heir apparent, by law accept employment but apparently keeps her hand in managing money as the couple were criticized for purchasing vacation homes in Argentina and in the Caribbean during a recent economic downturn.
posted by Anitanola at 12:26 PM on April 21, 2013

There you are
You already saw this moment so often in your dreams
And there it is
The day you knew would come is finally here
Are you ready?
Can you ever be?

So, I watched about a minute of the video, and it was maudlin, but, eh, we've got worse in the US. And I read all the various comments so far, and I thought, "oh, that sounds cute, and hey, better than Schwarze Piet, right?" And people complained about the bad translation, and I thought, "who cares, they're Dutch speakers, let them sing their weird Dutch song in Dutch like they wanna". I figured the words couldn't be that bad.

But that? That shit is BAD. Burn it with fire.
posted by Sara C. at 1:05 PM on April 21, 2013

It's Zwarte Piet, not Schwarze Piet. Still racist, though.
posted by Pendragon at 1:20 PM on April 21, 2013

Sorry, my mistake. In addition to the property in Argentina, the couple purchased a villa in Greece, not a Caribbean vacation home as I obviously misremembered. I fail to snark well--it's one of the reasons I love this place; I don't have to be good at being mean on the internet.
posted by Anitanola at 1:51 PM on April 21, 2013

So if you're going to have a monarchy, one that is close to the common people seems to be a modern approach. And the common people like sentiment, and simple tunes, and positive clichéd affirmations of good.

So what's the criticism of this, exactly? It's not elitist enough? I get that the Right would hate it - all those inclusive pictures of Muslims! - but isn't Metafilter a bit more right-on than that?
posted by alasdair at 1:53 PM on April 21, 2013

So what's the criticism of this, exactly?

it's a black hole of suck
posted by pyramid termite at 1:55 PM on April 21, 2013 [3 favorites]

And the common people like sentiment, and simple tunes, and positive clichéd affirmations of good.

So what's the criticism of this, exactly?

Well, for one thing, that. I mean, it's so sentimental it's schmaltzy, so simple it's stupid, and so positive it's saccharine. And if the reason for that is that's what commoners like, well, that's a bit insulting, isn't it?

I get that the Right would hate it - all those inclusive pictures of Muslims! - but isn't Metafilter a bit more right-on than that?

Inclusiveness is nice, but it doesn't magically make crap awesome.
posted by Sys Rq at 2:18 PM on April 21, 2013 [2 favorites]

The lyrics don't quite meet poetry month standards, i agree. First one, no two lions then suddenly you're a peacock! It doesn't really work. Taken with the idea the lyrics were written by committee and, watching the video, it does all seem a bit like they're just so happy to finally have a man as monarch. Juggling oranges, for goodness sake! Not a terribly subtle message, is it? It's not like Beatrice, Juliana, and Wilhelmina before them didn't do their jobs, is it? I believe the laws of succession were changed just so that the monarchy could continue at a time when the direct heirs were all female. It's good to welcome the new king but, before all the masculine glory gets too ramped up, it might be well to remember that he has three daughters and no sons.
posted by Anitanola at 2:19 PM on April 21, 2013

It's Beatrix, not Beatrice.
posted by Pendragon at 2:30 PM on April 21, 2013

It's a lot easier to watch the video if you imagine that everyone doing the three-fingure gesture is pretending to be a fierce velociraptor.
posted by Wulfhere at 2:43 PM on April 21, 2013 [3 favorites]

Pendragon: "It's Beatrix, not Beatrice"

The names of monarchs are some of the few proper names still commonly translated. There used to be a lot more.
posted by Joakim Ziegler at 2:53 PM on April 21, 2013 [1 favorite]

Sorry, again, and I apologize to Pendragon and will now remove my clumsy self from this thread.
posted by Anitanola at 3:03 PM on April 21, 2013

We just invented a new party game: passing the lyrics around silently and watching each other's reactions.

Things get good at "I'll build a dike for you," blow up at "raise three fingers" ("It's just like the Hunger Games!") and round out nicely with "I'll watch you when you sleep."
posted by Madamina at 4:03 PM on April 21, 2013

I actually find it quite charming... I lived in Holland for 8 years (native Yank) and I probably romanticize my time there a bit more than necessary, but the song & clip did tug at my heartstrings. Of course it's awful but so is Una Paloma Blanca bellowed out by a conga-line crowd at any lower-division Dutch football club's cafe at closing time, or pretty much anything by Johnny Jordaan or sung at the annual Jordaan Festival - it still brings a tear to the eye (or at least to mine).
posted by pammeke at 4:38 PM on April 21, 2013

> King-related fan art

This basically already happens. Among other things when I was in Amsterdam two weeks ago, I saw plates, LPs, and cheeses related to the event.

So, fan cheese? Fan cheese. Awesome.
posted by Now there are two. There are two _______. at 4:56 PM on April 21, 2013 [1 favorite]

How different, how very different, from the home videos of our own dear Queen.
posted by Joe in Australia at 6:00 PM on April 21, 2013

I still have my small cup that was given to me as a child attending a Dutch school for Queen Juliana's Golden Jubilee. I know that it is popular to bash on royals, but I think it is kind of smart to separate your head of state and your head of government. That way, hopefully, only one of them at a time is deeply embarrassing to your country. And, besides, royals give you a reason to hand out tat to schoolkids that they then treasure it for 40 years or more.
posted by driley at 6:33 PM on April 21, 2013

I know that it is popular to bash on royals, but I think it is kind of smart to separate your head of state and your head of government.

Yeah, um, it's probably worth remembering how things got like that: Prior heads of state were separated from their heads.
posted by Sys Rq at 8:19 PM on April 21, 2013 [1 favorite]

'W' for William
Three fingers in the air, come on, come on

Should be king Ian. Then I'd salute him. (For the British: King Victor.)
posted by Homeboy Trouble at 10:24 PM on April 21, 2013

OMG, lol! Thank you mefi, I would have totally missed this if it weren't for you.

Multiculti, elderly Kinderen voor Kinderen. Nederlandser kan het niet. I've probably been away for too long because I actually think it's completely in keeping with this kind of puppet show.
posted by moody cow at 5:14 AM on April 22, 2013

OK I have an admission to make: that's one of the only facts I can remember about Dutch history, and I repeat it with respect to every typically-Dutch food item that comes up in conversation, including stroopwafels, peparnoten, Leidenenkaas, and oliebollen.
posted by 1adam12 at 1:53 AM on April 23, 2013

So far, I'm quite enjoying the circus. From six time zones away.
posted by Capt. Renault at 7:59 AM on April 30, 2013