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April 26, 2013 10:18 AM   Subscribe

The first round of the 2013 NFL Draft was held yesterday, leaving two of the most-talked-about players undrafted: QB Geno Smith and Linebacker Manti Te'o.

The Kansas City Chiefs, with the first pick, chose OT Eric Fisher.

The Buffalo Bills drafted the only QB so far, FSU's EJ Manuel, who opened up about his mother beating breast cancer.

The league honored Joe Andruzzi, a former New England Patriot who carried a young woman to safety immediately following the Boston Marathon bombings, even though the Patriots traded their pick to the Minnesota Vikings.

The Lions' choice, Ziggy Ansah, wore 3D glasses with the lenses popped out. Here's a whole NFL Draft fashion roundup.

The Giants drafted Justin Pugh, who was watching the draft at home.

The Miami Dolphins, Minnesota Vikings, and Jacksonville Jaguars debuted new uniforms (these three links via Uni-Watch, more draft uniform notes here).

And here's a little something for the Jets fans.
posted by troika (56 comments total) 1 user marked this as a favorite

 


I guess this is why the vikings tag on tumblr stopped being 100% History channel docudrama shirtless gifsets yesterday.
posted by elizardbits at 10:24 AM on April 26, 2013 [8 favorites]


The first reaction to the Bills on the feed I was watching was "there's a reason some teams pick in the top 10 every year." That's about right.

Also, that trade the Patriots made to the Vikings was highway robbery. Three first-round picks is nice and all, but damn. They'd better pan out.
posted by Holy Zarquon's Singing Fish at 10:28 AM on April 26, 2013


More Jets Draft Booing LOLs
posted by JPD at 10:29 AM on April 26, 2013


Ziggy Ansah also had a clearly stained shirt. What is that I don't even.
posted by Rock Steady at 10:29 AM on April 26, 2013


The Giants drafted Justin Pugh, who was watching the draft at home.

That vision of pure joy right there, of his friends mobbing him, of him putting on the hat that his mother bought for him (one of dozens she purchased specifically for the occasion), the idea that someone could be hopeful enough to buy a whole bunch of hats ... I'm not ashamed to say that brought a tiny tear to my eye.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 10:31 AM on April 26, 2013 [2 favorites]




This was funnier yesterday; now it's just kind of sad.

Manti Te'o Informed He'll Go First Overall To Nebraska Pioneers

posted by MCMikeNamara at 10:33 AM on April 26, 2013 [3 favorites]


I'm a Giants fan, living in the middle of Bills country. I can't wait for the agony and the agony to begin in Orchard Park.

And by "can't wait" I of course mean "dread".
posted by tommasz at 10:34 AM on April 26, 2013 [1 favorite]


Do I have to say "JINX!" now?
posted by Strange Interlude at 10:34 AM on April 26, 2013 [1 favorite]


Two comments, posted simultaneously, both real -- about a fake story about a fake draft pick of somebody with a fake girlfriend.

Did we blow your mind?
posted by MCMikeNamara at 10:35 AM on April 26, 2013 [9 favorites]


I love the idea of football players being drafted because they have great upside. Mostly because we can't say they were drafted for having great backside. AMIRITE?
posted by srboisvert at 10:37 AM on April 26, 2013


no i think you're just weird.
posted by spicynuts at 10:41 AM on April 26, 2013


Oh tommasz I feel ya. I'm from Orchard Park.
posted by troika at 10:47 AM on April 26, 2013


The Onion Sports' twitter feed was constantly cracking me up last night. Here's a few of my favourites:

Lions' Top Needs: Find backup assholes to add depth to core of dirty, piece-of-shit cheap shot artists

Controversial Pick As Cleveland Browns Select Dzhokhar Tsarnaev From UMass Dartmouth

Jets' Top Needs: Goddamn miracle

Roger Goodell Fines Military Representatives For Uniform Violations

posted by The Notorious SRD at 10:54 AM on April 26, 2013 [8 favorites]


Here's a whole NFL Draft fashion roundup.

It says . . . something about our expectations for these things when Geno Smith gets marked down as a winner for wearing a tailored suit and then buttoning the wrong number of buttons so it looks puffed out and ill-fitted again.
posted by Copronymus at 10:57 AM on April 26, 2013 [1 favorite]


In the glorious glorious names department, Barkevious Mingo went sixth to the Browns.
posted by Snarl Furillo at 11:12 AM on April 26, 2013 [7 favorites]


Meanwhile, Bill Belichick is doing the backstroke in his Late Round Draft Pick Bin, and assures Tom Brady a couple of the cheerleaders can pitch in at WR when Danny Amendola goes down for the season three games into it.
posted by Slap*Happy at 11:17 AM on April 26, 2013 [1 favorite]


Don't you mean Barkevious "KeKe" Levon Mingo? It's the name that keeps on giving.
posted by Strange Interlude at 11:21 AM on April 26, 2013


Don't you mean Barkevious "KeKe" Levon Mingo? It's the name that keeps on giving.

the brother of Hughtavious
posted by JPD at 11:23 AM on April 26, 2013 [2 favorites]


Oh man their chance at Chronic Traumatic Encephalopathy might be delayed!
posted by telstar at 11:36 AM on April 26, 2013


I thought for sure the Browns were going to take Jackmerius Tacktheritrix
posted by cmfletcher at 11:38 AM on April 26, 2013 [5 favorites]


Barkevious Mingo. That's not a name. That's a level 50 Tauren Paladin from the Agewynn server.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 11:43 AM on April 26, 2013 [2 favorites]


So what happens to Manti Te'o?
(edit window: oh just the first round nvrmd)
posted by captaincrouton at 11:50 AM on April 26, 2013


He gets snatched up in a later round by a team with a good PR department and a bad defensive line.
posted by Navelgazer at 11:52 AM on April 26, 2013


The best one I heard was the Cowboys first round pick was supposably a consensus third-rounder.

Bwuaha!
posted by bukvich at 11:54 AM on April 26, 2013


Oakland drafted D.J. Hayden out of the University of Houston who nearly died on November 6th after tearing the main vein to his heart in an on-field collision.
posted by IanMorr at 12:02 PM on April 26, 2013


The Ravens got themselves a new Ed Reed.
posted by ChurchHatesTucker at 12:02 PM on April 26, 2013


Mel Kiper Jr. is now in advertisements for mothers day ranking gifts like draft picks.
posted by Ironmouth at 12:42 PM on April 26, 2013 [1 favorite]


Can someone explain the Jets thing to me? I saw it mentioned somewhere else too. Do the fans just hate the draft picks just because, or do the Jets management make consistently bad draft picks?
posted by grouse at 12:42 PM on April 26, 2013


Can someone explain the Jets thing to me? I saw it mentioned somewhere else too. Do the fans just hate the draft picks just because, or do the Jets management make consistently bad draft picks?

A little bit of both, mixed with just being a Jets fan.
posted by CancerMan at 12:44 PM on April 26, 2013 [1 favorite]


I'm guessing you could make the same youtube clip of Eagles fans. Just replace the fresh mootz with sharp provelone.

Why yes - I am a Giants fan. Why do you ask?
posted by JPD at 12:48 PM on April 26, 2013


Rather than having their bad draft picks just fail to pan out over a period of years and then get cut or traded for peanuts, the Jets' bad picks tend to be very public and memorable, like passing on Dan Marino (Hall of Famer) for Ken O'Brien (two Pro Bowls) and taking Kyle Brady (an okay tight end, which is a reach in the first round anyway) over Warren Sapp (Hall of Famer again).

Plus the fact that they're the New York Jets means their fans can easily make the trip to watch the selections in person (the show is held at Radio City Music Hall), so they're all in one place and easy to film being disappointed.
posted by Holy Zarquon's Singing Fish at 12:51 PM on April 26, 2013 [1 favorite]


My Vikings got three first round picks! And they fooled everyone into thinking they were taking T'eo! SKOL
posted by antonymous at 12:57 PM on April 26, 2013 [1 favorite]


So many people were talking about the Bears taking Te'o that they could have drafted literally any other person on the entire planet and I would have been thrilled. Hopefully Long works out, but he's not an overrated head case, so I'm happy.
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 1:02 PM on April 26, 2013 [1 favorite]


The part of me who likes to see the Bears win is glad to see they picked up somebody -- anybody -- for the offensive line.

The part of me who, even though I've lived here for 15 years still finds the Chicago media, particularly Chicago sports media, going totally bonkers over stupid non-stories endlessly amusing is still hoping Te'o gets picked up by them.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 1:08 PM on April 26, 2013


I heard Adam Schefter (I think it was him) on the radio say that some teams make draft picks to win press conferences, not on the field. I no longer remember which team he was referring to specifically, but this explains so much about how some teams are managed, and whether or not that translates into success on the field.
posted by CancerMan at 1:12 PM on April 26, 2013


One of my coworkers had the warehouse radio set to some AM sports radio station yesterday when I went in, and it was all pre-draft chatter.

It was at the point when whomever was spouting the sports equivalent of newsopinionradio bullshit and he said something about Player X being someone who, despite being white, played "like a black player" when I said out loud "wow, racist much" and switched the boombox over to my lovely wide-ranging mix of music from my iPod.
posted by hippybear at 1:19 PM on April 26, 2013 [1 favorite]


The thing that blew my mind about watching (snippets of) the draft was the fact that the conscripts were all on their phones while people were coming up and trying to hug/congratulate them. Apart from it seeming really awkward and rude, doesn't the fact that this thing is televised obviate the need to call people and tell them what's going on?
posted by obscurator at 1:44 PM on April 26, 2013 [1 favorite]


Apart from it seeming really awkward and rude, doesn't the fact that this thing is televised obviate the need to call people and tell them what's going on?

I think they are probably talking to relatives or friends and having a personal conversation to the tune of, "All our hard work has paid off, I remember when you drove me to Pop Warner practice and now I'm in the NFL" or similar-- either receiving congratulations from people who want to convey it personally or offering thanks.

he said something about Player X being someone who, despite being white, played "like a black player" when I said out loud "wow, racist much" and switched the boombox over to my lovely wide-ranging mix of music from my iPod.

A lot of sports talk radio is racist and it sucks.
posted by Snarl Furillo at 1:47 PM on April 26, 2013


the conscripts were all on their phones while people were coming up and trying to hug/congratulate them

I think they're all on their phones to the team that drafted them - all the articles seem to mention something like "When the 666 area code flashed up, I knew I was going to the Patriots"
posted by IanMorr at 1:52 PM on April 26, 2013 [1 favorite]


The draftees may also be receiving calls from the team that picked them. Like the Justin Pugh video, the conversation may stretch long enough into the announcement that people will offer congratulations while the player is still talking to his new boss.
posted by CancerMan at 1:55 PM on April 26, 2013


"When the 666 area code flashed up, I knew I was going to the Patriots"

Well, clearly.
posted by Holy Zarquon's Singing Fish at 1:55 PM on April 26, 2013 [14 favorites]


Sounds reasonable, then. There's just a weird dissonance of people talking and trying to listen to the announcer and being shepherded onto the stage, photographs, etc. I was also hearing some folks at the bar talk about how teams are frantically calling each other after every pick trying to work out subsequent deals. How, then, can names be confidently put on the backs of jerseys?

So many questions.
posted by obscurator at 2:08 PM on April 26, 2013


Nike (current producer of NFL uniforms) is on hand and presses the name onto a blank team jersey.
posted by CancerMan at 2:11 PM on April 26, 2013


Mel Kiper? Does he actually get anything right yet?
posted by 922257033c4a0f3cecdbd819a46d626999d1af4a at 3:01 PM on April 26, 2013 [1 favorite]


I'll be interested to see where the three British draftees (none of whom were picked this round) end up. I really liked this article about offensive tackle Menelik Watson. The market may not love a 24-year-old offensive tackle who's only been playing for two years, but still, his is an intriguing story.

The other two UK draft candidates are 20-year old linebacker Tom Wort and 21-year-old Olympic discus thrower turned defensive end Lawrence Okoye. COME ON YOU BRITS.
posted by Pallas Athena at 3:45 PM on April 26, 2013


This link from the post is hysterical, very manly fashion critique.
posted by LooseFilter at 4:07 PM on April 26, 2013


Teo and Smith just went back-to-back to the Chargers and Jets, respectively.
posted by King Bee at 4:13 PM on April 26, 2013


How, then, can names be confidently put on the backs of jerseys?

This is a new-ish thing, which started last year.
posted by King Bee at 4:18 PM on April 26, 2013


Watson picked by Raiders
posted by fullerine at 4:55 PM on April 26, 2013 [1 favorite]


So the Jets have six QBs on their roster now?

Somewhere Mark Sanchez just threw his remote control at his TV.

And missed.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 5:09 PM on April 26, 2013 [20 favorites]


I've heard rumors that Geno Smith's work ethic is about the same as Mark Sanchez's, so they should get along swimmingly.
posted by CancerMan at 5:18 PM on April 26, 2013


As ardent LSU fan, I'm strongly urging my brother to consider Barkevious when naming my new nephew.
posted by wintermind at 5:56 PM on April 26, 2013


Also, that trade the Patriots made to the Vikings was highway robbery. Three first-round picks is nice and all, but damn. They'd better pan out.

No it wasn't highway robbery, stop watching/believing ESPN. "But they got four picks for one, Bill even said so!" Bullshit. Even including how statistically, at least one of those guys will be a "bust".

Minnesota had two late first rounders, were amazed that Floyd dropped into their lap, were even more amazed that Rhoades dropped into their lap, and found a way to get a guy who arguably was second on their WR board after Austin.

So they shoot the Pats their late second rounder, an early third, mid fourth that won't make the team, and a seventh that won't make the team to get a guy who they had labeled as the second best WR in the draft? I'll take that every day and twice on Sunday.

I saw it on another site, but I'm stealing it and calling it mine: "Instead of having the option to have 5 of the top 102 players, they decided to go with 3 of the top 29. In a weak draft, getting the guys you've singled out is much more important than warm bodies."

Belichek's ability to get HoF'ers in the late rounds is based on a sample size of one.
posted by Sphinx at 6:11 PM on April 26, 2013 [1 favorite]


As far as I can tell, the Bears used their first pick on Howie Long's son, who went to Florida State on a baseball scholarship (?!), flunked out of FSU, picked up a DUI, spent a year away from sports, played for a JuCo, then played one year of Div1 football in which he started four games. Mind you, he didn't start playing football until late in high school.

Silly me, thinking a new GM would mean less depressing drafts.
posted by Ghidorah at 7:56 PM on April 26, 2013 [1 favorite]


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