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The Story of Jess and Russ
May 1, 2013 2:58 PM   Subscribe

An invitation to a wedding you already missed with illustrations you don't want to.
posted by So You're Saying These Are Pants? (94 comments total) 19 users marked this as a favorite

 
I'm so jealous of this. Paper is boring!
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 3:03 PM on May 1, 2013 [1 favorite]


Halfway through, " let me guess they now live in- yeeeeep."

Cute.
posted by The Whelk at 3:09 PM on May 1, 2013 [4 favorites]


Ok, that was fun, and now it's time for this parallax thing to be over.
posted by darksasami at 3:12 PM on May 1, 2013 [1 favorite]


Ugh, hurry up and get married, people!
posted by resurrexit at 3:13 PM on May 1, 2013


I thought this was really gorgeous and clever, myself, but if you want a slightly less forgiving analysis of this announcement, Gawker's got it covered.

("I feel like I just married Zooey Deschanel. TWICE." Heh.)
posted by shiu mai baby at 3:13 PM on May 1, 2013 [12 favorites]


This is two years old. Are they still married?
posted by The Card Cheat at 3:14 PM on May 1, 2013 [1 favorite]


Now I'm trying to imagine the worlds most twee Divorce announcement.
posted by The Whelk at 3:16 PM on May 1, 2013 [21 favorites]


"This makes me want to punch weddings," pretty much sums it up for me.
posted by kinetic at 3:21 PM on May 1, 2013 [24 favorites]


I can't help but hate them both.
posted by Kafkaesque at 3:22 PM on May 1, 2013 [14 favorites]


so remarkably twee, it's like two Wes Anderson movies started fucking each other

From the Gawker write-up. I love Wes Anderson, I liked the invitation... but that made me snort.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 3:22 PM on May 1, 2013 [6 favorites]


This. This is why Stuff White People Like exists.
posted by pxe2000 at 3:26 PM on May 1, 2013 [3 favorites]


It's really cool and all, from a webby point of view. But, as a wedding announcement, it's kind of tedious, in an overly-long "explain all the reasons we are so cool" sort of way.

But...Congrats. Hope they're happy. Hope it lasts.
posted by Thorzdad at 3:31 PM on May 1, 2013 [4 favorites]


I could have sworn this was a double, but I guess I saw this somewhere else two years ago.

I was hoping there was an update or something, since they planned to get hitched last August.
posted by muddgirl at 3:32 PM on May 1, 2013


Why was the engagement ring on her middle finger? Fuck marriage?
posted by GuyZero at 3:33 PM on May 1, 2013 [3 favorites]


The wedding has been going on continuously for two years.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 3:33 PM on May 1, 2013 [2 favorites]


It had better last, because if it ends badly this website will turn into something one or the both of them only read in the company of a bottle of whiskey.
posted by The Card Cheat at 3:33 PM on May 1, 2013 [2 favorites]


Welcome to my world.
posted by mazola at 3:35 PM on May 1, 2013


I usually hate parallax scrolly websites, but I really enjoyed this one. Everything was smooth and to the point. Plus, I think you can afford to be a bit extravagant when you're getting married.
posted by archagon at 3:35 PM on May 1, 2013 [1 favorite]


Oh, I think it's nice. As far as wedding crimes go, this is waaaay down the list. And anyway, if they're hipsters, all their friends are hipsters too. In which case they liked it just fine. Let's remember who the actual audience for this was.

In other words: Let them have their fun. It's hard to feel too judgemental about people expressing their love for each other in a way that makes them happy and doesn't actively inconvenience or annoy anyone to any appreciable extent. If the worst they made their friends do is scroll, they did just fine.
posted by jscalzi at 3:38 PM on May 1, 2013 [22 favorites]


Apparently Jess did the Title Designs for Moonrise Kingdom, so if it looks super Wes Andersony that's cause someone made a good hiring decision.
posted by The Whelk at 3:39 PM on May 1, 2013 [9 favorites]


I don't even dislike the cutesiness. It's a wedding. I expect cute. It's just that it goes on and on and on.
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 3:44 PM on May 1, 2013 [3 favorites]


Jessica Hirsche is responsible for the gorgeous type in Moonrise Kingdom. Her work mostly runs divergent to my tastes but is perfect for a Wes Anderson movie. I guess you could say it was a match made in heaven.

Edit: The Whelk ahead of the game as always.
posted by quosimosaur at 3:44 PM on May 1, 2013


Sorry, haters, I liked this. I liked this a lot. Because it reminds me of the day I met the most perfect person in the world for me and I wasn't even expecting it. And it reminds me that every day with him is the best fucking day in the world.

(We're not hipsters, though, but we do love cats.)
posted by Kitteh at 3:46 PM on May 1, 2013 [3 favorites]


I agree with Gawker: Don't make someone scroll through 50 pages to get the time and place. For fuck's sake. I mean, really.
posted by absalom at 3:47 PM on May 1, 2013


I could have sworn this was a double

I thought this was a double, too. Maybe it was mentioned in the infamous Depression-Era Hobo Wedding thread. (I don't have time right now to check-- dinner's ready!)
posted by Fuzzy Monster at 3:47 PM on May 1, 2013 [2 favorites]


I liked the invitation just fine. But this: It's hard to feel too judgemental about people expressing their love for each other in a way that makes them happy and doesn't actively inconvenience or annoy anyone to any appreciable extent...

That's the funniest damn thing I've read on the Internet in years. It's like if an octopus could post. What do those words even mean? Totally alien.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 3:48 PM on May 1, 2013 [3 favorites]


Judging from the comments, I feel like I almost might be a hipster. Can you BE a hipster if you're lazy and (lower) middle class and 41 years old? I still wear sundresses! A Bahn Mi bar doesn't sound like a bad wedding buffet! Lots of my friends make their own alcohol and mixers. How the hell did this happen?

However, that is too much website for me. I hate HATE anything where the woman pretends to be a sweet, naive, asexual, prepubescent girl, which is what all that Zooey Deschanel/Amelie genre seems like to me. Also, while I'm on a rant, those pseudo-1950s stylized women (and cats) with waists the size of your pinky and eyes the size of softballs. Fuck you, gender expectations!
posted by small_ruminant at 3:51 PM on May 1, 2013 [7 favorites]


Even if the scrolling is annoying, at least it's not a slideshow.
posted by LionIndex at 3:52 PM on May 1, 2013 [1 favorite]


I agree with Gawker: Don't make someone scroll through 50 pages to get the time and place. For fuck's sake. I mean, really.

Depends on your audience really. How well do they already know the couple? How much time are they willing to spend to learn about the couple?

They're both accomplished designers, so I think we can assume they tailored their invitation to their audience.
posted by quosimosaur at 3:56 PM on May 1, 2013


September 2008 - her TiMER finally goes from blank to 52 days.
posted by randomkeystrike at 3:56 PM on May 1, 2013 [2 favorites]


They should have had a separate RSVP option just for those people who felt compelled to make bitchy comments about the invitation.
posted by MoonOrb at 3:58 PM on May 1, 2013 [1 favorite]


The divorce announcement takes the form of a small batch beer they brew together ( for the last time!) called " A Hop Apart" that gets sent to all thier friends.
posted by The Whelk at 3:58 PM on May 1, 2013 [17 favorites]


I stopped reading even before I got to where they met. It's probably why I'm not a big facebook user; I'm just not this interested in the minutia of other people's lives. I hope they'll be happy and all, like anyone else who gets married.
posted by shoesietart at 3:59 PM on May 1, 2013 [5 favorites]


Is there something vitally important that my browser is missing such that all the text entries appear to be missing letters? When I copy and paste them over here into a regular text box they appear, but on the site itself, instead of:

She bought a Smashing Pumpkins album, painted stars on her bedroom ceiling, and felt emotional

I get:

She boght a Smahing Pmpkin albm, painte ta on he beooom ceiling, an felt emotional

Whether this is more or less annoying without the letters is probably an open question.
posted by jacquilynne at 4:02 PM on May 1, 2013 [1 favorite]


50 reasons you should totally come to my wedding!

Slide 1 of 51.
posted by 2bucksplus at 4:03 PM on May 1, 2013 [2 favorites]


Has Buzzfeed done a " top 20 worst online wedding invites!!" yet?

Oh crap did I just give them the idea no wait I take it back!
posted by The Whelk at 4:05 PM on May 1, 2013 [3 favorites]


Control-F "Brooklyn"

Yep
posted by sideshow at 4:06 PM on May 1, 2013 [2 favorites]


Hey isnt Portland the new twee capital?
posted by sweetkid at 4:07 PM on May 1, 2013


Portland Is Full, isn't the next hot place small Midwestern college towns?
posted by The Whelk at 4:08 PM on May 1, 2013 [1 favorite]


Once upon a time I bought an HTML book and was called a web designer. Six years away from web design now and I look at these sites and could cry. This is beautiful.

Hope me: What's used to change the graphics' compositions as you scroll down? Is this CSS and HTML5?
posted by kimberussell at 4:11 PM on May 1, 2013 [1 favorite]


twee capital: factories with half-hour breaks for tag
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 4:11 PM on May 1, 2013 [1 favorite]


Sorry, jacquilynne. You appear to have accidentally received Teresa Nielsen Hayden's invitation.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 4:12 PM on May 1, 2013 [3 favorites]


I thought it was cute. I guess I'm a romantic sap, huh.
posted by PercussivePaul at 4:15 PM on May 1, 2013 [1 favorite]


Portland Is Full, isn't the next hot place small Midwestern college towns?

We've got our eye on Grinnell.
posted by LionIndex at 4:16 PM on May 1, 2013


I was hating it, too. But then it got to the part where I say "Battlestar Galactica" in a cockney accent in my mind and that redeemed it, thanks to AskMeFi.
posted by The World Famous at 4:18 PM on May 1, 2013 [1 favorite]


But where is the ukelele and the fedora? Or was that implied?
posted by Justinian at 4:19 PM on May 1, 2013 [2 favorites]


The ukulele ran off with the handlebar mustache, leaving the fedora sad and alone.
posted by The World Famous at 4:22 PM on May 1, 2013 [2 favorites]


Y'all are missing the point.

This is portfolio building.
posted by St. Alia of the Bunnies at 4:22 PM on May 1, 2013 [14 favorites]


"This makes me want to punch weddings," pretty much sums it up for me.
posted by kinetic at 3:21 PM on May 1 [4 favorites +]


I gave in to that same temptation once and wound up on the evening news.
posted by Sleeper at 4:40 PM on May 1, 2013


Beautiful design, but I don't think I'd read that much text on my very best friend's weddings invitation, not to mention some stranger's. Either you already know how they met, or you don't much care.
posted by desjardins at 4:42 PM on May 1, 2013 [2 favorites]


If my wedding stuff was in xhtml 4.01 transitional, is my marriage even valid?
posted by mazola at 4:42 PM on May 1, 2013 [2 favorites]


What is parallax scroll? It looks to be scrolling normally for me.
posted by Mitheral at 4:43 PM on May 1, 2013


I was more disturbed by the insistence on how little sleep the bride to be seemed to be getting.
posted by Phalene at 5:07 PM on May 1, 2013 [2 favorites]


Whenever that I worry that I've become too bitter and cynical, there's always MetaFilter to prove me wrong. I thought it was sweet. People in love get some slack if they're twee, IMHO.
posted by Horace Rumpole at 5:25 PM on May 1, 2013


People in love get some slack if they're twee, IMHO.

why?
posted by sweetkid at 5:27 PM on May 1, 2013 [2 favorites]


Love is a fundamental human emotion and a basic need. It represents a lot of the things that are best and noblest about humanity, and its expression ought to be encouraged rather than mocked.

I will enjoy remembering this as the time I had to defend the emotion of love.
posted by Horace Rumpole at 5:33 PM on May 1, 2013 [6 favorites]


why a special pass if they're twee in romantic love? What about projects about sisterly love, parental love, friendship, or a single person's love for their own artistic project? Are those things not the best and noblest things about humanity? Or just romantic love?
posted by sweetkid at 5:36 PM on May 1, 2013 [1 favorite]


The tweest sense of agape ever!
posted by The Whelk at 5:37 PM on May 1, 2013


I hate this in a way that I find pleasant and satisfying and amusing. In this sense it is almost indistinguishable from loving it.
posted by elizardbits at 5:40 PM on May 1, 2013 [7 favorites]


My self love is very twee. Sometimes I look at myself in the mirror and ask, "Is it raining?" But of course it's always raining at my house. Today, we dance.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 5:42 PM on May 1, 2013 [4 favorites]


You forgot about getting soup delivered. GO SIT IN THE NAUGHTY CHAIR.
posted by elizardbits at 5:45 PM on May 1, 2013 [2 favorites]


It's always naughty at my house.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 5:48 PM on May 1, 2013 [1 favorite]


Love is a fundamental human emotion and a basic need. It represents a lot of the things that are best and noblest about humanity, and its expression ought to be encouraged rather than mocked.

I would never declare my love to the world in the form of a sample for employers.
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 5:52 PM on May 1, 2013 [1 favorite]


None need editing more than those new in love. - DaShiv
posted by 1f2frfbf at 6:07 PM on May 1, 2013 [1 favorite]


I was more disturbed by the insistence on how little sleep the bride to be seemed to be getting.

It's the suffering artist trope. A lot of designers and design students work till the early hours of the morning to meet a deadline. I think the nature of design work leads to frantic late night bursts of productivity. Also, there's a compulsion to emphasise just how hard you worked since a lot of people like to think of design as an airy-fairy profession based in pretty pictures and moments of inspiration.
posted by quosimosaur at 6:08 PM on May 1, 2013


None need editing more than those newly in love.

ETFY, love.
posted by Greg_Ace at 6:13 PM on May 1, 2013 [1 favorite]


This couple used their wedding to raise almost $10 grand for Charity:Water. I think that's AWESOME.
posted by Blogwardo at 6:21 PM on May 1, 2013 [1 favorite]


This couple used their wedding to raise almost $10 grand for Charity:Water. I think that's AWESOME.

Raising money?

Great thing.

Noting on your already "it can't any more twee, self-involved and self-congratulatory than this" wedding webthingie link exactly how much money you raised as well as the names and dollar amounts of contributors??

I previously wanted to punch weddings.


Now I kinda wanna punch Jess and Russ.
posted by kinetic at 7:00 PM on May 1, 2013 [6 favorites]


As a portfolio piece, this doesn't even let me view the whole thing on my phone (enforced minimum width?) so, way to be old?
posted by jacalata at 7:09 PM on May 1, 2013


"I was going to get you guys a food processor, but instead got you this rain check."


Thank you ladies and gentlemen; it's been a pleasure.
posted by kinetic at 7:11 PM on May 1, 2013 [1 favorite]


Greg Nog: None need editing more than those newly in love.

Bleh, fubared the link:

None need editing more than those new in love.- DaShiv

FTFM, Hon.
posted by 1f2frfbf at 7:18 PM on May 1, 2013


My self love is very twee. Sometimes I look at myself in the mirror and ask, "Is it raining?" But of course it's always raining at my house. Today, we dance.


I like to conceptualize my own as a version of Elle Woods' Law School admission video essay.
posted by The Whelk at 7:26 PM on May 1, 2013 [2 favorites]


Greg Nog: None need editing more than those newly in love.

Greg Nog is a fine person, but I am not he.
posted by Greg_Ace at 8:03 PM on May 1, 2013 [2 favorites]


On one hand, pretty! Clever illustrations! Congrats on the wedding.

On the other hand, this does catapult "self-congratulatory" into a weird and extreme new category. Kind of "Our Wedding Invite + Our Resume + Annual Christmas Letter + Look at me! Look at me!" My previous East Coast self read it and thought, "oh hey! I think I know that restaurant! Hey, have you ever tried this other one..." My new Midwestern self thought, "No, no, no, no, no. Ms Manners suggests a bit less self-absorption, but go ahead and get a really nice dress for the occasion."
posted by jeanmari at 8:09 PM on May 1, 2013


Wait, there are cool people on Match?
posted by Sara C. at 8:40 PM on May 1, 2013


Love is a fundamental human emotion and a basic need. It represents a lot of the things that are best and noblest about humanity, and its expression ought to be encouraged rather than mocked.

Quoted for truth.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 11:25 PM on May 1, 2013 [1 favorite]


It was cool looking, I'll give it that.
posted by From Bklyn at 11:45 PM on May 1, 2013


Reading this was like eating Creme Eggs. The first one in the box is in your hand, the cheerful illustrations cheer you up, you unwrap it, savouring the first bite, then hungrily devour it. Mmm mmm mmm.

The second one is unwrapped, as now you're on a sugar high. You take a bite, and then you start throwing up.
posted by mippy at 3:28 AM on May 2, 2013


why a special pass if they're twee in romantic love? What about projects about sisterly love, parental love, friendship, or a single person's love for their own artistic project? Are those things not the best and noblest things about humanity? Or just romantic love?
posted by sweetkid at 7:36 AM on May 2

What a good idea. I'm going to make webpage ode to my soon to be flatmate (aka roomie). You're all invited to housewarming. Gifts accepted, and donations.
posted by b33j at 3:44 AM on May 2, 2013 [2 favorites]


Again, not mocking love in general or this couple's love in particular, but this couple's expression of their love in the form of a twee résumé.
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 5:33 AM on May 2, 2013 [1 favorite]


My problem with it wasn't so much the tweeness as it as with the bragging.

And the missing letters.

But mostly the bragging.
posted by jacquilynne at 8:53 AM on May 2, 2013 [2 favorites]


I'm not against love, but I am against a narcissistic wedding culture that requires lengthy autobiographies, novels and timelines of the couple's relationship, bios of the wedding party, albums of engagement photos, engagement parties, websites that are more than just helpful information for guests, week-long bachelor and bachelorette parties out of town, carefully curated decorations and food that are meant to express something about the couple, albums of wedding photos, morning-after brunches, etc. If you are throwing a party, make it about the guest. That's what makes the guest want to celebrate you.

One day I want to get an invitation (and only an invitation) that simply says, "We're getting married. Let's celebrate with some food, drinks, and dancing. " And then that's what we do.
posted by theuninvitedguest at 9:00 AM on May 2, 2013 [2 favorites]


Honestly, the main reason I don't like this is because it's a reminder that, although I've had deep, loving and meaningful relationships, half the time we couldn't agree on what's for dinner or what movie to watch, let alone collaborate on an artful manic pixie web project. :P
posted by Skwirl at 9:29 AM on May 2, 2013 [1 favorite]


I agree with jscalzi - they are happy and they are excited about their love for each other and their wedding. And isn't that a good thing?

I mean, really. How many times do we get AskMes from someone who asks "my mother/friend/roommate/priest/neighbor is giving us flak because they think we should do [foo] at our wedding or because we don't want to do [baz], what should I do," and how many people answer "it is YOUR WEDDING and you have the right to do what you want and they need to shut up about it"? Well, this is their wedding, and they have the right to do what we want, and....

Also, are you saying people should NOT express happiness? Should not express joy in finding the love of their lives? For God's sake, I think we need MORE of that - more joy, more celebration, more happiness. About 5 days ago I got sent a link to a video someone posted - it was a video of the "flash mob" wedding for an actor I've known for nearly 15 years, and his husband of 30 years (they were calling each other "husband" well before New York state made it legal). The previous day I'd been at the wedding of a very good friend, and him thanking his mother for "raising me to be the man that [the bride] could fall in love with" choked everyone up. Sure, there were goofy bits at both weddings (the "flash mob" wedding was on a stage and there were a lot of corny stage references, and my friend's bride inexplicably wore a kimono while my friend did readings from H.L. Mencken), but - my god, all four of those people were so unbelievably happy that it didn't matter.

Jess and Russ are happy. That is what counts. That is all that matters.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 9:48 AM on May 2, 2013 [3 favorites]


So every comment here should be overwhelming approval, because they are in love? That's what I don't get. People are going to have different opinions.
posted by sweetkid at 9:54 AM on May 2, 2013 [1 favorite]


Thank God I met my girlfriend at a Wolf Eyes show (not that one, but close).

That means our invitation can be straight up noise with nausea-gifs.
posted by klangklangston at 9:58 AM on May 2, 2013


"My self love is very twee."

My self love is very twee too, since I had that cardigan knitted for my penis.
posted by klangklangston at 10:00 AM on May 2, 2013 [2 favorites]


Third time's the charm, maybe: Congratulations to these two for finding love. Congratulations to these two for having such happy lives. Congratulations. I mean it. But it galls me when they are clearly joining me in congratulating them. And it galls me that their self-congratulation, as St. Alia pointed out, doubles as a portfolio.
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 10:01 AM on May 2, 2013 [1 favorite]


People are going to have different opinions.

Yeah, but "difference of opinion" was turning into "let's all point and laugh at the twee hipsters, how dare they be happy". That just felt icky.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 10:20 AM on May 2, 2013 [1 favorite]


You can not like this (story? invitation?) and still like love and happiness.
posted by theuninvitedguest at 1:44 PM on May 2, 2013 [4 favorites]


My husband and I both had kids when we were dating, so our version of this would have been VERY different!

They looked at each other across the ball pit and vowed to see each other again soon...
posted by Biblio at 2:01 PM on May 2, 2013 [1 favorite]


First weddings and first children are similar in that those experiencing them as a participant are going through what is an all-encompassing, monumental, life-altering, hopefully (in the case of marriage) once in a lifetime experience. However, it also happens to be an experience that some billions of people have experienced before you, so no matter how unique and special you happen to think your particular experience is, it's probably not all that different than any of the other billions of people who have gone through the same thing before you.

I'm glad that these two are happily in love, but reading this website reminded me a lot of the multiple times per day mundane updates a friend of mine who adopted a baby last year posts to facebook, where it appears she believes herself to be the only person on Earth to have ever parented a child before. Inevitable "That says a lot more about you than it does about _____" comments notwithstanding, this was way too navel-gazey for my tastes.
posted by The Gooch at 2:04 PM on May 2, 2013


You can not like this (story? invitation?) and still like love and happiness.
posted by theuninvitedguest 24 minutes ago


This. Also, eponysterical, kind of. Haha.
posted by sweetkid at 2:09 PM on May 2, 2013 [2 favorites]


You know what? I don't care if he or both of them are hipsters, that rolling picture animation stuff was COOOOOOOOOOOOL.
posted by jenfullmoon at 6:32 PM on May 2, 2013 [2 favorites]


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