This actually happened.
May 3, 2013 3:47 AM   Subscribe

 
There are worse urban problems.
posted by tommasz at 3:59 AM on May 3, 2013 [1 favorite]


While Jones was fighting clowns, real-life real-life superheroes in Washington, D.C. were drenching racists in piss.

I'm Gotham's reckoning!"

Well, OK, it's not Gotham or superheroes, but it is a reckoning.
posted by GenjiandProust at 4:14 AM on May 3, 2013


I read the incomplete article anticipating an account of the arrival of mime shock troops. Disappointment ensued. Also, where is the detailed report on the Silly String attack? They didn't just bury the lede, they more or less ignored it.
posted by Kirth Gerson at 4:15 AM on May 3, 2013 [4 favorites]


... an impromptu superhero press conference was interrupted when a tourist-laden “Ride the Ducks” amphibious vehicle rolled by, loudly blaring “Who Let the Dogs Out?”

aw yiss
posted by krinklyfig at 4:24 AM on May 3, 2013 [14 favorites]


So, the upshot is that they're becoming a part of the event that they're supposedly "patrolling". I used to say that it was all fun and games until one of them got shot, but I think that in five years or less they'll be posing with tourists for money.
posted by Halloween Jack at 4:39 AM on May 3, 2013


These are the days of miracle and wonder
posted by El Sabor Asiatico at 4:43 AM on May 3, 2013 [2 favorites]




In actual real-life superhero news, a Maryland costumed adventurer acquires a new super-vehicle to aid him in his neverending quest to make sick children happier.
posted by Slap*Happy at 5:02 AM on May 3, 2013


I could take Seattle anarchists more seriously if they weren't walking around a riot zone with Starbucks drinks in their hands.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 5:22 AM on May 3, 2013 [1 favorite]


Judging by a report from Seattle’s KCPQ Fox-13 TV, Jones and his cohort spent much of the afternoon pointing out pedestrians as potential anarchists....

...but I think that in five years or less they'll be posing with shaking down tourists for money.

posted by Kid Charlemagne at 5:27 AM on May 3, 2013


Re: That Stranger article by Paul Constant. Constant's argument that "the people of Seattle need to let him know that he's not welcome on our streets until he puts on his big-kid pants and behaves like a responsible citizen," is trivial at best, if not completely stupid. How many people fit big-kid pants in Seattle? Who is he even thinking of? Constant's diatribe feels irrational in that he's freaking out about a small number of numbskulls in rubber who wander the city at night. Most cities are full of immature people and that's what makes us human.

A better argument would be a structural one questioning who those idiots are representing. The new Superman fights evil bankers and violent misogynists. That's laudable. That's role model material. Jones and company want to protect the overly endowed and heavily insured Nike Towns and Charles Schwabs of the downtown corridor. Not commendable.
posted by artof.mulata at 5:27 AM on May 3, 2013 [2 favorites]


Blazecock Pileon, I was walking around with a Molly Moon's ice cream cone checking out the action and never saw a single anarchist with a Starbucks cup in hand. Not that I could tell who's an anarchist on sight necessarily anyway. But I could try.
posted by artof.mulata at 5:30 AM on May 3, 2013 [1 favorite]


Is there some way both sides in that fight can lose?
posted by Area Man at 5:34 AM on May 3, 2013 [1 favorite]


This is so infuriatingly stupid.
posted by BitterOldPunk at 5:34 AM on May 3, 2013 [1 favorite]


I think both sides are losing.
posted by artof.mulata at 5:38 AM on May 3, 2013


... an impromptu superhero press conference was interrupted when a tourist-laden “Ride the Ducks” amphibious vehicle rolled by, loudly blaring “Who Let the Dogs Out?”

The only way this scene could have been better is if the superheroes were forced by the Ducks to jump from a bridge into a river.
posted by orme at 5:44 AM on May 3, 2013


Kick Ass was not a documentary.
posted by MegoSteve at 6:53 AM on May 3, 2013 [2 favorites]


every time i read the phrase "private security forces," this is what I see.
posted by echocollate at 6:54 AM on May 3, 2013 [1 favorite]


From YouTube commenter ComCodex:

"Mention Phoenix Jones at Starbucks and get a dollar off your order."
posted by mrgrimm at 7:34 AM on May 3, 2013 [1 favorite]


Previously and previouslyer and pre-previouslyer
posted by Flunkie at 7:43 AM on May 3, 2013


There's two Starbucks per block in Seattle. You just end up holding cups through osmosis.
posted by Joe Chip at 7:45 AM on May 3, 2013 [5 favorites]


So looking at their costumes makes me think about what I'd do if I had a whole year to rebrand myself as a superhero. I mean, I'm pretty sure I could trump unliscensed Chinese knock-off of Bat Man for less than $50 over a drunken weekend. What could I do with a year of free time if I were "a true believer"?

How would the "heroes" would respond if you showed up in a fully functional suit of high tech armor for next year's festivities? Nothing too over the top - just something well made, sturdy enough to protect you from fists and clubs, with enough "life support" to shield you from pepper spray, sporting such high tech functionality as very bright lights, a megaphone and an on board Galaxy S4 with a carefully chosen suite of apps, and a nice paint job. Would they catch on that an old army helmet and a dust mask is great Halloween costume - when you're 12? Would they feel like pioneers and be encouraged by your very presence? Or would they rise to the challenge and retool their selves in some kind of goofy arms race of one-upsmanship?

How long before Seattle had two groups of "superheros" who were actively fighting one another for not looking like the right kind of ninny in public?
posted by Kid Charlemagne at 8:24 AM on May 3, 2013 [1 favorite]


How would the "heroes" would respond if you showed up in a fully functional suit of high tech armor for next year's festivities? Nothing too over the top ...

Oh, c'mon. Go for it.
posted by mrgrimm at 8:39 AM on May 3, 2013 [1 favorite]


Super Villain Rex Velvet is more of a hero than Phoenix Jones will ever be.
posted by misha at 9:23 AM on May 3, 2013


I read the incomplete article anticipating an account of the arrival of mime shock troops. Disappointment ensued.

It's my understanding that there are no more mimes anymore, the clowns having put paid to that threat years ago. Which fast becomes the real story here. This is what comes from mime eradication, regardless of how well intentioned.
posted by philip-random at 9:43 AM on May 3, 2013


At this point my opinion of Phoenix Jones has transitioned from completely from "kind of cool, in theory" to "authoritarian weirdo".
posted by OverlappingElvis at 10:54 AM on May 3, 2013 [1 favorite]


As a Seattle resident and someone who was downtown yesterday to watch the madness, I just need to say this:

Phoenix Jones is as much a clown as those actual clowns, and rapidly moving from his previous 'interesting' status, through 'so you're really an asshat' heading towards 'maybe we should cancel Halloween due to the costumes' thing. He wants to be a 'hero', but his brand of 'heroism' is more Judge Dredd than anything else.

"pointing out pedestrians as potential anarchists"? That's not heroism, that's being a goddamn McCarthyist. Does he also have a list of anarchists currently working at Pike Place Market?
posted by mephron at 12:12 PM on May 3, 2013 [2 favorites]


remember that andy warhol predicted this when he said that in the future, we would all be fatuous for 15 minutes
posted by pyramid termite at 1:43 PM on May 3, 2013


Meanwhile, the actual anarchists? Either mostly ignored them, or doused them with silly string.
posted by spinifex23 at 1:49 PM on May 3, 2013


Oh no, not again.
posted by loquacious at 1:53 PM on May 3, 2013


Also previously: a MeFite who has regular encounters with them.
posted by Halloween Jack at 1:54 PM on May 3, 2013


This was posted two days ago by Rex Velvet... the People's Villain!

Citizens Of Seattle And The World,

It as been one year since the Social Villains Alliance has emerged as an underground organization, to a worldwide following that will lead the march against the real life super hero movement.

I am pleased with the camaraderie and influence this anti-superhero movement carries, and on this May 1st 2013, I tip my hat (literally) to those of you who have shown your support to our efforts to rid the world of these phonies.

Let it be known that as long as there are silly, pathetic, mask wearing, fantasy living, wannabe-lawmen dressing up in tights and marching the streets in hopes of getting a punch in on a stranger - there I will be to exterminate their presence. United we will squash their deeds, until the day arrives when man can walk down the street with the reassurance that superheroes are a relic of the past.

This is the dream we share at the Social Villains Alliance.
May it continue now and forever.

The People's Villain,
~ Rex Velvet


He's also raising money for charity... with beer pong!
posted by markkraft at 2:26 PM on May 3, 2013 [4 favorites]


More evidence that villains make better heroes than tight-wearing exhibitionists cruising the streets for uneven fights.

Rex Velvet helps make a wish come true for Colby, and also makes a video for his party later on that night.

And, of course, there's his work to promote Movember.
posted by markkraft at 2:49 PM on May 3, 2013 [2 favorites]


My superhero name is Redvelvetcake (mysterious and super all at once): goes perfectly with Seattle's coffee: Always be fighting evil clowns on behalf of all the frightened children.
posted by mightshould at 5:46 PM on May 3, 2013


I'm down in theory with this whole Rex Velvet thing but he's gonna have to distance himself hard from the notion that its all just viral marketing for Mischief Distillery.

Sometimes it seems like everything potentially cool or interesting about Seattle is immediately repackaged or repurposed as something to sell to tourists and frat boys. (e.g. anything associated with Fremont)
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 6:46 AM on May 4, 2013


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