Abandon your weapon. Your enemy uses it against you.
May 4, 2013 5:39 PM Subscribe
This seems less "Conan is my spirit guide," and more "Conan is my imaginary foreign boyfriend."
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 6:21 PM on May 4, 2013 [2 favorites]
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 6:21 PM on May 4, 2013 [2 favorites]
Conan is her spirit guide.
After reading this one, I think maybe Conan is more like her personal Tyler Durden.
posted by Strange Interlude at 6:22 PM on May 4, 2013 [1 favorite]
After reading this one, I think maybe Conan is more like her personal Tyler Durden.
posted by Strange Interlude at 6:22 PM on May 4, 2013 [1 favorite]
It's important to remember that even the undressed paper doll can kill a dozen spearman before you can cry "Thulsa Doom demands your blood!"
posted by GenjiandProust at 6:27 PM on May 4, 2013
posted by GenjiandProust at 6:27 PM on May 4, 2013
A high school classmate of mine came from a family of authors and artists and, I guess, his ambition was to be the next Philip Pullman. Anyway, one of the things he let me read once contained something along the following lines: " 'With my bare hands I can kill ten men,' the mercenary growled. 'Give me a spoon, and I can kill twenty!' "
posted by Nomyte at 6:35 PM on May 4, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by Nomyte at 6:35 PM on May 4, 2013 [1 favorite]
Raise your hand if you were disappointed it wasn't Conan O'Brien.
posted by tommasz at 7:01 PM on May 4, 2013 [7 favorites]
posted by tommasz at 7:01 PM on May 4, 2013 [7 favorites]
She is not the first to infuse her spiritual life with Conan.
I was having a hard time concentrating on the PowerPoint Presentation, so I decided to alternately pinch and hiss at the man beside me. I glowered at him, daring him to cry out. He was quietly sobbing when the lights came back on.
I noticed that at some point during the report, I had apparently stripped to the waist and drawn primitive glyphs across my torso with a highlighter. Somewhere along the line I had also lost Bill Paxton. That would probably have repercussions later.
A man I dimly recognized as my boss was summoning me forward. It seemed that I had some sort of responsibility here--a report I was to present, an argument to proffer--I had no idea, nor did I exceptionally care. I stood up abruptly and began tearing at my chair as my coworkers stared in confusion. Somewhere, there was the sound of glass breaking. Somewhere, there was a muffled shout. The sound of footsteps was growing louder, and a distant alarm sounded.
posted by Sebmojo at 7:34 PM on May 4, 2013 [2 favorites]
I was having a hard time concentrating on the PowerPoint Presentation, so I decided to alternately pinch and hiss at the man beside me. I glowered at him, daring him to cry out. He was quietly sobbing when the lights came back on.
I noticed that at some point during the report, I had apparently stripped to the waist and drawn primitive glyphs across my torso with a highlighter. Somewhere along the line I had also lost Bill Paxton. That would probably have repercussions later.
A man I dimly recognized as my boss was summoning me forward. It seemed that I had some sort of responsibility here--a report I was to present, an argument to proffer--I had no idea, nor did I exceptionally care. I stood up abruptly and began tearing at my chair as my coworkers stared in confusion. Somewhere, there was the sound of glass breaking. Somewhere, there was a muffled shout. The sound of footsteps was growing louder, and a distant alarm sounded.
posted by Sebmojo at 7:34 PM on May 4, 2013 [2 favorites]
Robert E. Howard was a Texan, an above-par amateur boxer, an amazing autodidact and edgy prose stylist. He was pen-pals with H.P. Lovecraft, and they had a long distance bromance despite their severe differences.
He killed himself when his mother died.
Conan was from the beginning a strong and smart imaginary friend to those who need him the most.
posted by Slap*Happy at 7:56 PM on May 4, 2013 [10 favorites]
He killed himself when his mother died.
Conan was from the beginning a strong and smart imaginary friend to those who need him the most.
posted by Slap*Happy at 7:56 PM on May 4, 2013 [10 favorites]
Having just absorbed the Conan commentary track for a week straight while falling asleep, it's actually sounding like a good idea to consciously import an occasional Inigo Montoya-impersonating Arnold Schwarzenegger into my inner monologue.
posted by carsonb at 8:24 PM on May 4, 2013
posted by carsonb at 8:24 PM on May 4, 2013
Nomyte: "A high school classmate of mine came from a family of authors and artists and, I guess, his ambition was to be the next Philip Pullman. Anyway, one of the things he let me read once contained something along the following lines: " 'With my bare hands I can kill ten men,' the mercenary growled. 'Give me a spoon, and I can kill twenty!' "
Holy shit, you went to highschool with David Twohy?
posted by Joakim Ziegler at 8:45 PM on May 4, 2013
Holy shit, you went to highschool with David Twohy?
posted by Joakim Ziegler at 8:45 PM on May 4, 2013
Conan was my spirit guide but Leno decided he wasn't done with me yet.
posted by arcticseal at 9:16 PM on May 4, 2013
posted by arcticseal at 9:16 PM on May 4, 2013
Artist's name is Rachel Kahn, rather than Khan.
Went looking for interesting cross-cultural influences, found none. Rechecked name. sigh.
posted by bardophile at 9:51 PM on May 4, 2013
Went looking for interesting cross-cultural influences, found none. Rechecked name. sigh.
posted by bardophile at 9:51 PM on May 4, 2013
I like how bored Conan looks here- Thus you have failed . Seems pretty realistic to me. I mean, not that I find the comics boring, but I'm pretty sure Conan would consider almost all of our lives boring at best. Which makes him a pretty amusing spirit guide.
posted by hap_hazard at 10:53 PM on May 4, 2013
posted by hap_hazard at 10:53 PM on May 4, 2013
I am a huge nerd, because I was like, "Conan would never recommend dark rituals!"
posted by RobotHero at 11:29 AM on May 5, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by RobotHero at 11:29 AM on May 5, 2013 [1 favorite]
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posted by Artw at 6:18 PM on May 4, 2013 [1 favorite]