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"Half of 'love' is just 'lo', which is how I feel."
May 10, 2013 8:15 AM   Subscribe

Sad Cat Diary; Ze Frank provides narration to the misery that is the life of a house-cat. [slyt | previously | via]
posted by quin (25 comments total) 39 users marked this as a favorite

 
"Dear diary,
The authorities have closed the door to the bedroom. I can only assume they have left me here to die."

THIS IS MY CAT
posted by FirstMateKate at 8:28 AM on May 10, 2013 [10 favorites]


Very well-trod ground, but ZeFrank's voiceover really sells it.
posted by briank at 8:35 AM on May 10, 2013 [1 favorite]


A passable homage to Henri.
posted by nickrussell at 8:37 AM on May 10, 2013 [3 favorites]


That was fantastic!
posted by Tequila Mockingbird at 8:48 AM on May 10, 2013


Oh, god. Fantastic.
posted by roomthreeseventeen at 8:53 AM on May 10, 2013


"Dear diary,
The authorities have closed the door to the bedroom. I can only assume they have left me here to die."

THIS IS MY CAT


My cat proceeds to pound on the door until it either falls open or a human succumbs to the torture and lets him in.
posted by Thorzdad at 8:53 AM on May 10, 2013 [2 favorites]


This rules.
posted by shelleycat at 9:03 AM on May 10, 2013


The deadpan narration communicated the sense of overwrought-ennui-transforming-to-imminent-doom that I—as a witness to and perpetrator of a globalizing apocalyptic singularization—simultaneously savor and despise.

I also fear and love the matter-of-fact nomination of "the authorities" which, in our contemporary moment, refers to everyone and no one.
posted by mistersquid at 9:10 AM on May 10, 2013 [1 favorite]


la tendre indifference du monde
posted by elizardbits at 9:13 AM on May 10, 2013


My cat proceeds to pound on the door until it either falls open

Our apartment has handles on most of the doors, and one of our cats is both tall enough and persistent enough to have figured out how they operate. He likes to open the bathroom door while my wife is in there and then just walk away. He's kind of a jerk. Or he thinks he's rescuing her. But probably he's just a jerk.
posted by uncleozzy at 9:29 AM on May 10, 2013 [8 favorites]


I can only imagine the process that resulted in this post, and it's still being here now:

11:10 am - user number 15,055 otherwise known as "quin" comes across a video, with cats, with ze frank.

11:14 am - 15,005 composes a metafilter fpp, sparse, to the point, and tags it, along with other words, cats and zefrank.

11:15 am - 15,005 hits the post button.

11:15.30 am- alarm goes off in modville, as expected, it happens every time the two letters "z" and "e" are used in a tag or fpp in juxtaposition to each other.

11:16 - a mod (unnamed, we're not here to shame anyone) hears the alarm, views the post, and says under his/her breath "those friggin' idiots, do they really think that we are going to allow ANOTHER ze frank post????? we had one already this year!

11:17 am -cursor poised over the delete button, "a mod" types... "this is cute an all, but we've already had a ze frank post this decade" (intentionally avoiding the phrase "you idiot", because, well, metatalk deleted post threads).

11:17.01 - mod 2 (her name not shared, because we don't want to cause any problems in Vermont her state) picks up the red mod phone and screams "WAIT! There are kitties!".

11:18 am to 11:25 am - discussion held, pros and cons weighed, other mods contacted, further discussion held, indecision......

11:26 am - Number One contacted.

11:27 am - Number One determines that the ancient "Cats in Scanner Doctrine" may apply to this FPP, he suspects there may be a scanner in the background of the sad cat #4 image, making this a ground rule double and undeletable.

11:28 am - user 15,055 receives a cryptic memail "we'll let it stand, but never, NEVER, post another ze frank video unless it has cats AND a bicycle".

I love Ze! Thanks to all that allowed this to live long enough for me to see it!
posted by HuronBob at 9:30 AM on May 10, 2013 [8 favorites]


(I figured it would be a nice juxtaposition to yesterday's uplifting Dog Wisdom post.)
posted by quin at 9:41 AM on May 10, 2013 [1 favorite]


Existential Henri = the original and best.
posted by bleep at 9:54 AM on May 10, 2013 [1 favorite]


Yes your favorite existential cat sucks.
posted by bleep at 9:54 AM on May 10, 2013


Very funny. I'm not totally convinced by "the authorities" though. Do cats recognize authority? No, they do not. Maybe "overlords" or "self-appointed despots".
posted by DU at 9:58 AM on May 10, 2013


Cats in Scanner Doctrine

Initially read as "Cats in a Scanner Darkly" which I would totally read.
posted by DU at 9:59 AM on May 10, 2013 [5 favorites]


Very funny. I'm not totally convinced by "the authorities" though. Do cats recognize authority? No, they do not. Maybe "overlords" or "self-appointed despots".

I suspect it's sarcastic on the cats' parts.

One cat used to love to pee in drains, which I was happy about, until he decided that a stovetop burner is just like a range. Do you know what smells worse than cat pee? HOT cat pee.
posted by jeather at 10:08 AM on May 10, 2013 [4 favorites]


HALF OF 'LOVE' IS JUST 'LO' WHICH IS HOW I FEEL INSIDE RICK
posted by zombieflanders at 10:54 AM on May 10, 2013 [5 favorites]


HOT cat pee

This is the name of my next band.
posted by HuronBob at 11:35 AM on May 10, 2013


Ai Weiwei has 50 cats, only one of which can open doors. It leaps up and hangs fro the door handle until it turns and the door opens. He says the main difference between people and cats is that even if a cat can open doors it never closes them.
posted by Ad hominem at 12:58 PM on May 10, 2013


My husband and I have been watching District Nine which is actually surprisingly heavy on a Friday night (particularly with beer). We're back at our computers randomly doing stuff to unwind before bed so I started this playing without comment and watched his reaction. It was only a very short time before his puzzlement turned to disbelief then hilarity, and we were both laughing that silent, shaking laugh that shows we were both amused and empathetic (given we have two cats that pretty much do all these things). Which was a nice way to come down from the tense movie and I may not even have nightmares now.
posted by shelleycat at 1:52 PM on May 10, 2013


Dear diary: I fucking hate that stoat.
posted by homunculus at 6:52 PM on May 10, 2013 [1 favorite]


Ze Frank is such a treasure. I recently caught up on about nine months' worth of episodes of A Show with Ze Frank, and when he's on, he's just so on. There's a good dozen episodes in there that I'd recommend to anybody, because they're such insightful and thoughtful and articulate takes on the world around us.
posted by Georgina at 4:05 AM on May 11, 2013


Our cat sings the songs of his people too, so we get this.
posted by arcticseal at 9:12 AM on May 11, 2013


Every single one of these happens in my house on a regular basis except for the bathroom litterbox solidarity poop because I require bathroom poop solitude - hence laundry room litterbox.
posted by djeo at 5:24 PM on May 11, 2013


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