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Sometimes eagles just gotta party.
May 10, 2013 1:48 PM   Subscribe

Police broke up an eagle party in the parking lot of an Alaska Safeway. Evidently this is a thing.
posted by functionequalsform (61 comments total) 18 users marked this as a favorite

 
This sounds like one of those things I would love to experience in real life up until the moment that I actually do experience it in real life.

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  • Bubblegum pizza

  • posted by shakespeherian at 1:50 PM on May 10, 2013 [3 favorites]


    Bald Eagles in Alaska are basically like crows except a little more murder-y.
    posted by mcstayinskool at 1:51 PM on May 10, 2013 [12 favorites]


    They just had to drop off some Dwarves , everybody chill.
    posted by The Whelk at 1:53 PM on May 10, 2013 [15 favorites]


    That pickup truck is patriotic as fuck.
    posted by brundlefly at 1:55 PM on May 10, 2013 [33 favorites]


    Looks very like a very eag-alitarian gathering.
    posted by CosmicRayCharles at 1:56 PM on May 10, 2013 [3 favorites]


    HOLY SHIT LOOK AT THE EAGLE IN FRONT OF THE TOYOTA

    HE IS SHAPED LIKE A DAMN SOFT SERVE
    posted by Greg Nog at 1:56 PM on May 10, 2013 [13 favorites]


    After seeing that eagle take out that hawk a few days back, I'd take one look at the eagles in this truck and be like, "Take it. Here are the keys. Seriously, it's yours. Go on, take it."
    posted by Cool Papa Bell at 1:57 PM on May 10, 2013 [4 favorites]


    So majestic, they freedomed the fuck out of those fish fillets.
    posted by Ad hominem at 1:59 PM on May 10, 2013 [7 favorites]


    Mr. Hitchcock, your presence is requested in Alaska. Bring Tippi.
    posted by scratch at 2:01 PM on May 10, 2013 [1 favorite]


    The good news is, eagles are apparantly adapting to the human build environment.

    The bad news is, you thought pigeons on Trafalgar Square were a nuisance...
    posted by MartinWisse at 2:01 PM on May 10, 2013 [4 favorites]


    A flock of eagles descended on the Safeway parking lot last week, prompting police intervention.

    And they flew, they flew so far away.
    posted by dirigibleman at 2:01 PM on May 10, 2013 [11 favorites]


    Ain't no party like a bald eagle party because a bald eagle party don't stop!
    posted by KingEdRa at 2:03 PM on May 10, 2013 [7 favorites]


    Ouch, dirigibleman. Now I have to sing the theme from I Dream of Jeannie to get rid of that brainworm.

    Also, holy shit -- EAGLES! I want to feed them!!
    posted by blurker at 2:03 PM on May 10, 2013 [1 favorite]


    Meanwhile, In Massachusetts (and also previously).

    Having known people around here who have been chased by groups of wild turkeys, I can only imagine how much worse marauding flocks of bald eagles must be.
    posted by RonButNotStupid at 2:03 PM on May 10, 2013 [1 favorite]


    Don't bother knockin' if this truck is flockin'
    posted by Thorzdad at 2:05 PM on May 10, 2013 [7 favorites]


    Bald Eagles in Alaska are basically like crows except a little more murder-y.

    Impossible.
    posted by asnider at 2:08 PM on May 10, 2013 [3 favorites]


    Is this a time of the year when more eagles than usual are flying about? Maybe they're getting ready to lay eggs and need extra food right now.
    posted by Kevin Street at 2:14 PM on May 10, 2013


    Thus creating the hitherto unknown term, 'You're making more noise than a dozen eagles feasting on garbage bags of fish product in the bed of a pickup truck!"
    posted by Rashomon at 2:19 PM on May 10, 2013 [1 favorite]


    A flock of eagles descended on the Safeway parking lot last week, prompting police intervention.

    An aerie of eagles. And I'm on their side.

    You've got to fight for your right to party, eagles!
    posted by misha at 2:24 PM on May 10, 2013


    Now I have to sing the theme from I Dream of Jeannie to get rid of that brainworm.

    Careful not to sing the Jonathan Coulter lyrics to that or you'll have that in your head for freakin ever. (Seriously.)

    "Jeannie, she calls her boyfriend 'Master'..."
    posted by aught at 2:24 PM on May 10, 2013


    Unalaska? Is this, like, a town trying really hard to be annexed to Canada or something?

    "No, guys, let us in! We're nothing like them! We're... UN-Alaska! That's the ticket!"
    posted by backseatpilot at 2:26 PM on May 10, 2013 [1 favorite]


    A group of Eagles is a convocation. Lame. Should be a Whirlwind of Eagles, A Shock and Awe of Eagles maybe, A Joint Strike Force of Eagles.
    posted by Ad hominem at 2:28 PM on May 10, 2013 [7 favorites]


    Well, over here we get seagulls picking up day-old bread that's been thrown into the street (I don't know why, maybe for pigeons). They flap up a few metres and drop it onto cars to break it up... presumably because they're cleaner than asphalt?! Today I crossed one perched on top of a car, a busted-up baguette in one claw, and he looked at me sidewise as if to say, "WTF you lookin' at?"

    This makes me even more gladder not to own a car.
    posted by fraula at 2:29 PM on May 10, 2013 [1 favorite]


    Let's go someplace else -- this is a total eagle party.
    posted by dhartung at 2:36 PM on May 10, 2013 [9 favorites]


    When eagles party, they take it to the limit
    posted by Flashman at 2:40 PM on May 10, 2013 [3 favorites]


    aught, wait till you try getting the actual lyrics stuck in your head. It's all the earwormy discomfort but with extra cringey cutesy on top.
    posted by darksasami at 2:41 PM on May 10, 2013


    I find it funny how because its eagles its kind of amazing but if it were seagulls or pigeons it would be another story.

    I kind of wonder if soon the new thing won't be filling a pickup bed with fish heads and bringing tourists around to watch.
    posted by SpaceWarp13 at 2:47 PM on May 10, 2013


    fuck yes.
    posted by BlackLeotardFront at 2:55 PM on May 10, 2013


    Aint no party like an eagle party cuz an eagle party don't quit. And no party like an eagle party cuz a seagull party ain't shit. The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire we don't need no water let the mutherfucker burn.

    Sorry, eagle parties get me so fucking hyped!
    posted by Ad hominem at 3:02 PM on May 10, 2013 [1 favorite]


    "I've had a rough night, and I hate the fucking eagles, man" takes on a new and terrifying definition.
    posted by Ghostride The Whip at 3:03 PM on May 10, 2013 [1 favorite]


    Eagles, at least in the lower 48, nest really early. In NJ, the eggs hatched some time ago.
    posted by mollweide at 3:06 PM on May 10, 2013


    Further proof that eagles chirp. Yup, those sounds you hear in that video are the calls of the majestic eagle.
    posted by gingerbeer at 3:20 PM on May 10, 2013 [1 favorite]


    Well, I'd say...

    (puts on sunglasses)

    the eagles have landed.

    YEAAAAHHHHHHH

    yeah yeah I know lamo I just always wanted to do that
    posted by tspae at 3:43 PM on May 10, 2013 [6 favorites]


    Why don't they just give them the fish?
    posted by sneebler at 3:48 PM on May 10, 2013


    I am pretty sure this is what the rest of the world imagines all of america is like 24/7, except maybe some of the eagles have guns.
    posted by elizardbits at 4:02 PM on May 10, 2013 [19 favorites]


    I was in a provincial park on Vancouver Island one fall (incidentally, it was on American Thanksgiving day). The salmon had spawned and died and the eagles were feasting. This park had a deck built a couple hundred yards away from the wetlands where the eagles were ripping the stinky dead fish to shreds.

    This American family came up next to me. They were from Houston. The pot-bellied father (who was actually wearing a shirt with a US flag on it) grew silent when he saw the eagles. (To be fair, there WERE a lot of them. I counted 18 at one point.)

    He had a toddler on his shoulders and an older little girl next to him. I looked over at him and he was a little misty eyed. "Kids," he told them, "this is why we fight for your freedom."

    (Seriously -- big birds eating stinky fish. This is why we fight!)
    posted by mudpuppie at 4:08 PM on May 10, 2013 [12 favorites]


    Where is Sarah Palin when you need her?
    posted by dougzilla at 4:15 PM on May 10, 2013


    That is the great thing about America, other countries are like "we're cool, got all the freedom we need" but not us. As long as there are eagles we will never stop fighting for freedom.
    posted by Ad hominem at 4:15 PM on May 10, 2013 [1 favorite]


    aught, wait till you try getting the actual lyrics stuck in your head.

    oh.my.god - i'm a child of the 60s who never realized there were lyrics to that show

    damn, the show was bad enough ...
    posted by pyramid termite at 4:20 PM on May 10, 2013 [1 favorite]


    As long as there are eagles we will never stop fighting for freedom.

    if we were honest, we'd have the turkey vulture as our national bird - we scavenge, eat garbage, feed off the dead, take a long time taking off, vomit our culture over anyone who dares threaten us and manage to look fairly beautiful in flight, even though we're damned ugly up close

    write your congressperson, please
    posted by pyramid termite at 4:25 PM on May 10, 2013 [7 favorites]


    an "eagle party" means something entirely different in my neighborhood.
    slogan: where MEN cruise
    posted by changeling at 4:33 PM on May 10, 2013


    Yeah but look at this turkey vulture party. totally sucks.
    posted by Ad hominem at 4:48 PM on May 10, 2013 [1 favorite]


    I'm intrigued by the commenter who has a fear of feathers, "moving or still."
    posted by JenMarie at 4:54 PM on May 10, 2013 [3 favorites]


    That warlock truck owner knew EXACTLY what he was doing. He knows that if you can get 50 eagles into the back of a pickup, along with an M-16, a case of Budweiser and the skull of John Wayne, the spirit of Ronald Reagan will return from the dead to lead us to victory against the welfare bums.
    posted by orme at 5:47 PM on May 10, 2013 [12 favorites]


    Now that Black Flag has (sorta) reunited, they can update "TV Party" to something more topical...something more avian.
    posted by stannate at 5:58 PM on May 10, 2013


    I saw something like this in New Mexico once. A largish, shallow reservoir had an algae bloom or summat and it killed all the carp in it. The surface was covered with these slowly-dying giant carp, especially by the shore. About two hours after we got there, eagles started coming in, balds and golden eagles. They'd hook a carp down its spine, utilize a really awkward takeoff and fly them to a group of denuded trees where they'd wedge them in the branches and go to town. I think there were a couple of nests in there as well. It was amusing to see an eagle try and take off with a fifteen pound carp in its talons but for the most part they accomplished it. At sunset, which was the last we could see of them, I estimate there must have been over a hundred birds harvesting the carp. Very spectacular waste disposal.
    posted by Purposeful Grimace at 6:46 PM on May 10, 2013


    A Safeway parking lot? Can't we just send the truancy officer after them?
    posted by computech_apolloniajames at 7:06 PM on May 10, 2013 [1 favorite]


    far as the lyrical approach goes, I actually really like this one, from the article comments (I KNOW!)
    2 Katz on Friday, May 10 2013:

    Ain't no party like a bald eagle party
    Cause a bald eagle party don't stop
    So when you see a young eagle
    On a Nissan eating fishes
    Then you gotta give the eagle his props
    posted by hap_hazard at 8:29 PM on May 10, 2013 [1 favorite]


    That's pretty awesome.
    posted by Katjusa Roquette at 9:27 PM on May 10, 2013


    Northern BC has lots and lots of bald eagles. It has eagles the way other places have seagulls or pigeons. They are more irritating than majestic.

    Back in the 90s, two friends of mine ran a small guest ranch in Tlell on the Queen Charlotte Islands (now Haida Gwai). The owners kept chickens, ducks, pigs and a small herd of beef cattle in addition to the B&B business, and since both my friend and her boyfriend had been raised on prairie farms, everything did very well. Everything except the chickens, that is. The chickens tended to explode.

    Seriously. My friend would be out the back chopping wood or weeding the vegetables, would hear a small chuck, and look up to discover a five foot ring of feathers with a big splotch of blood in the center.

    Eventually they made the connection between the nesting eagles in the trees on the beach and the exploding chickens: the eagles killed the chickens by panicking them into flying and then dive-bombing them. Because chickens can't fly very well or very high, the eagle would hit them at an elevation of about 4 feet, pile-driving them into the ground and smearing the yard with bits of chicken in the process. The ducks, smarter than the chickens, eventually learned to run, not to fly, but the chickens never got the hang of it, and eventually my friends gave up on chickens.

    Their biggest frustration was that it's illegal to shoot an eagle, or even to shoot *at* an eagle, no matter how much damage they were doing. Eventually they threw rocks and potatoes.
    I have a hard time seeing eagles as moving symbols of freedom after this.
    posted by jrochest at 10:41 PM on May 10, 2013 [3 favorites]


    I've seen this happen with wedge-tailed eagles here in Australia, but despite being a reasonably respected bird observer, I've had renowned ornithologists tell me it just can't be. So I've just about given up on telling this story in twitching circles..

    Back in the early nineties I worked a mining survey and exploration job just out of the Great Victoria Desert in Western Australia. Our morning commute to work involved a fast run down a wide well surfaced highway used mainly by mining vehicles and ore trucks, then a gruelling hour long slog along old prospectors tracks. There were just a couple of blind corners on the highway, and one of them tended to collect roadkill - road trains moving at speed don't even bother slowing for kangaroos.

    A few weeks into one of our stints, the number of dead roos at the corner was at astonishing proportions. Dozens of them. One morning, in the dark, we barely missed copping a large (roughly speaking ~ 6kg, 2m+ wingspan) wedge-tail through the windscreen at about 140 km/h. We didn't think much of it beyond having a bit of a chat about it being a potentially interesting way to die, and a chuckle about the two guys killed by an emu a few weeks before. But when we knocked off early that afternoon and got back to the same spot while it was still light, there were 20 or more wedgies feeding on the built up pile of roo carcasses.

    We stopped and watched. They were feeding socially. No squabbling or fighting. A bit of hopping around and squawking and keening at each other, but it was distinctly friendly and distinctly beyond the "Elementary unit: Pair" parameter that a lot of bird folk insist on. It was, as in the video, an eagle party. And it went on for at least a couple of weeks. Over that couple of weeks, the birds seemed to get the message that they should take off in a direction that wasn't the road, we passed the news around the local towns, mining camps and outstation communities, and everyone seemed content to just slow down, watch something pretty phenomenal, and let the eagle party carry on.

    (And on an almost unrelated note, there's a bunch of rainbow lorrikeets feeding in the grape trellis above my head right now. It's late in the season and the remaining grapes have fermented. The little buggers are drunk as skunks, hanging down from the vines chattering like maniacs, and I tell you with the full authority of a man with sloppy parrot shit on his keyboard that those dudes really know how to party..)
    posted by Ahab at 11:23 PM on May 10, 2013 [7 favorites]


    Where were all those people exercising their God-given right to pack heat?

    If the right to bear arms doesn't provide you with an excuse to shoot a flock of eagles at will, what the hell good is it?
    posted by PeterMcDermott at 12:04 AM on May 11, 2013 [1 favorite]


    Ah, just noticed jrochest's explanation:

    Their biggest frustration was that it's illegal to shoot an eagle, or even to shoot *at* an eagle, no matter how much damage they were doing.

    Thx.
    posted by PeterMcDermott at 12:06 AM on May 11, 2013 [1 favorite]


    One morning, in the dark, we barely missed copping a large (roughly speaking ~ 6kg, 2m+ wingspan) wedge-tail through the windscreen at about 140 km/h.

    Oh god that reminds me, I once drove right into an Australasian Harrier Hawk, right into it as it hit the windscreen right in front of my face. It was smaller of course (cat sized really) and I was only going about 40 kph because I'd seen it coming and slowed down, but still, terrifying. It was trying to pick up a dead sheep from the side of the road but it was too heavy, so lurched to the side as the sheep fell back down again pushing the hawk in front of my oncoming car. I'd hate to think what it's like hitting anything bigger and/or faster.
    posted by shelleycat at 1:40 AM on May 11, 2013


    Well when I say 'seen it coming' I mean I'd seen the Hawk acting weird at the side of the road and slowed down in case, the bit where it lurched and flew right in front of my car at the last minute was rather a surprise.
    posted by shelleycat at 1:45 AM on May 11, 2013


    It is legimately hard to see an actual eagle and see past the symbolism to the animal itself. Like, if I met an eagle in real life I might try to put it back on a quarter.
    posted by DU at 3:08 AM on May 11, 2013 [7 favorites]


    I'll be honest, one eagle on the back of my truck would be enough to send me running. Those things are huge. A flock of them is just too frightening to even imagine.
    posted by tommasz at 5:06 AM on May 11, 2013


    pyramid termite: "if we were honest, we'd have the turkey vulture as our national bird - we scavenge, eat garbage, feed off the dead, take a long time taking off, vomit our culture over anyone who dares threaten us and manage to look fairly beautiful in flight, even though we're damned ugly up close"

    Look, there's more to the US than New Jersey.

    /ducks
    posted by krinklyfig at 11:39 AM on May 11, 2013


    “It’s just that the luxury edition has so much more eagle, it saddens me to think of you missing out. “
    posted by FireSpy at 5:07 PM on May 11, 2013


    Their biggest frustration was that it's illegal to shoot an eagle, or even to shoot *at* an eagle, no matter how much damage they were doing.

    They may be difficult to obtain and the circumstances narrow, but there is such a thing as an eagle depredation permit.
    posted by dhartung at 11:46 PM on May 11, 2013


    This was in Canada, though, Dhartung.
    posted by jrochest at 11:52 PM on May 11, 2013


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