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Batman In Three-And-A-Half Minutes
May 12, 2013 9:20 PM   Subscribe

Grant Morrison tells the story of Batman's life to Kevin Smith. With illustrations. NSFW. (Via.)
posted by Kevin Street (22 comments total) 32 users marked this as a favorite

 
How good is Batman at sex?
posted by homunculus at 10:19 PM on May 12, 2013 [1 favorite]


That was fucking brilliant.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 10:32 PM on May 12, 2013


Smith's Fatman on Batman podcast is a seriously great listen, even if you're not a fan of Smith's usual schtick. I didn't realize that Smith had it in him to be such a good interviewer.
posted by KingEdRa at 10:38 PM on May 12, 2013


It can’t be too big, because that could hurt some folk, plus it would probably get in the way of his crimefighting.

I want to fuck that plate of beans.
posted by munchingzombie at 10:56 PM on May 12, 2013


"Now I'm this, I'm all of them."

Exactly right.

Throwing a lot of disparate stories in a blender and trying to imagine one character who ties them together is a traditional way of creating great literature. Consider YWHW. He's what you get when you collapse a whole polytheistic system into one deity. The distant creator who speaks the cosmos into being, the gardener who makes friends out of clay with his hands, the chaotic flood destroyer and the household problem solver are all supposed to be the same dude, and that's all just just the first few chapters of Genesis.

What makes this narrative strategy interesting is that things which used to be interpersonal conflicts become tensions inside one soul. Now the flood story isn't about a Protector beating up a Destroyer, it's about one God who's conflicted. We wonder about his system of motivations. Any telling of the Bible that could tie together everything YWHW does in a consistent manner would be intriguingly psychologically complex.

Bat-god indeed.

Airbrushing out strange parts of the story makes the story easier to tell but so much less rich. I'd like to hear a story explaining why Batman stopped trying to be a paragon. He used to deliberately put himself out there as an example to ordinary people. We still get some of that in the recent films but it seems gone from what I've seen of the comic books. He's now a recluse. Did he lose faith in the ordinary citizens of Gotham? Why?
posted by justsomebodythatyouusedtoknow at 11:09 PM on May 12, 2013 [10 favorites]


Grant Morrison telling Kevin Smith the story of Grant Morrison is utterly insane, from the first offhand mention of having been abducted by aliens onwards as Smith pulls on the string and gets more and more weirdness.

Also Jesus and Batman are The same species of thing.
posted by Artw at 11:16 PM on May 12, 2013 [1 favorite]


Smith's Fatman on Batman podcast is a seriously great listen, even if you're not a fan of Smith's usual schtick. I didn't realize that Smith had it in him to be such a good interviewer.

He really is excellent (his interview of Stan Lee!). He reminds me of Marc Maron... angry and opinionated burnouts make good interviewers, apparently.
posted by painquale at 11:20 PM on May 12, 2013 [1 favorite]


Pro-tip: skip ahead through the first few minutes to the bit with the actually interviews because Kevin Smith doing his promotional routine is intolerable.
posted by Artw at 11:36 PM on May 12, 2013 [1 favorite]


I didn't realize that Smith had it in him to be such a good interviewer.

Kevin Smith is a born raconteur and can tell a story--by speaking out loud anyway--very well. He's a so-so screenwriter and pretty talentless as a director. He says he's finished with movies and will just do podcasts from now on; he seems to know his strengths.
posted by zardoz at 11:44 PM on May 12, 2013


he also seems to be having a hell of a good time (Smith), so I say, keep going Fatman, keep going
posted by angrycat at 4:36 AM on May 13, 2013


Pro-tip: skip ahead through the first few minutes to the bit with the actually interviews because Kevin Smith doing his promotional routine is intolerable.

Another similarity to Maron!
posted by mokin at 6:25 AM on May 13, 2013 [1 favorite]


Kevin Smith is a born raconteur and can tell a story--by speaking out loud anyway--very well.

Agreed. For those you haven't heard it, the "Why didn't you direct Superman" story is classic.
posted by gwint at 6:53 AM on May 13, 2013 [4 favorites]


Is there any recent-ish (like, post-War Games) Batman/Batfamily that's worth reading? WG put me off keeping up with the monthlies in a big way, and lately I've been feeling there's not enough Batman in my life, but every time I take a look at the trades it's all Parliament of the fucking Owls or some child who's like an irritating combo of only the bad bits of Jason Todd and Cass Cain with a dollop of implausibility on top. Is there anything at all that's readable or do I need to sit this one out for a couple more years?
posted by Acheman at 7:20 AM on May 13, 2013


DAMIAN WAYNE LIVES!
posted by Artw at 8:24 AM on May 13, 2013 [3 favorites]


This podcast eliminated most of the creepy feelings I had around the Batman/Robin relationship.
posted by variella at 10:18 AM on May 13, 2013


He says he's finished with movies and will just do podcasts from now on; he seems to know his strengths.

That's funny because just this morning he posted a picture of his screenplay for Clerks III on FB.
posted by carsonb at 11:04 AM on May 13, 2013


For those you haven't heard it, the "Why didn't you direct Superman " story is classic.

Agreed. I used to work at a bookstore right in the heart of Hollywood, and one night a man came in looking for an audiobook of a brand new hardcover work of fiction. One of the ones where we only get one or a few copies (not a bestseller, in other words). I spent what seemed like an inordinate time explaining to the man why there wasn't an audiobook out yet for a title nobody had ever heard of before he admitted that his boss needed it because someone suggested he might want to produce it into a movie. The boss didn't want to read the book so he asked this guy, his assistant, to go out and read it for him. The assistant didn't want to read it either, which eventually came out as the reason he wouldn't buy the hardcover in hand and wanted to wait for the audiobook.

Over and over I explained that it was unlikely that an audiobook was going to be produced at all, let alone soon enough for him to meet his deadline, but he just wasn't getting it. He actually resorted to name-dropping, I guess to see if an impressive Producer Name would get me to go fetch the (non-existent) audiobook version, but the name he dropped—his boss—was the same guy who Smith talks about in that Superman story. I chortled a bit, gave the guy a little of the ol' crazy-boss wink'n'smile that usually goes a long way with the lackeys in this town, and said I recognized the name from the Kevin Smith stand-up DVD.

His mood instantly soured and he said Kevin Smith was a bad man. He looked ready to launch into a tirade (likely a delusional tirade, which I usually don't mind) but it had already been a long night and I'd already sunk about 25 minutes into this guy and was getting bored/had better stuff to do so I said, So your boss really can't read then, huh? and snatched the hardcover out of his hand and walked away.
posted by carsonb at 11:15 AM on May 13, 2013 [5 favorites]


carsonb, I don't suppose you remember which book it was, do you? Because speaking as another former bookstore wretch, I would love to know.
posted by Strange Interlude at 11:48 AM on May 13, 2013


I can't remember the title or even the concept or anything for the life of me, except that I read the dustjacket synopsis and thought God, I hope he tries to make this into a film, because it's gonna SUCK!
posted by carsonb at 11:51 AM on May 13, 2013


No but seriously, I love Batman. I even loved Contagion, ffs. I'm probably sounding grumpier than I feel, I just got really fed up with wading through DC's neverending cascade of This!Changes!Everything!, and I disliked the Damian storyline for a bunch of reasons I'm slightly concertina-ing here. However, I'm sure I've missed some good stuff. My question honestly wasn't rhetorical - it was a sincere enquiry as to what I should go back and catch up on, and whether there are any monthlies that are now consistently enjoyable.
posted by Acheman at 1:31 PM on May 13, 2013


You already mentioned not liking the Court of Owls story, but Snyder and Capullo are a really talented team, and with Batman #21 they're redoing Batman's origin in a big story called "Zero Year." It'll probably be a good jumping on point.
posted by Kevin Street at 4:14 PM on May 13, 2013


The Morrison run would be my suggestion, and that's Damian from beginning to end. Also good luck figuring out the trades.
posted by Artw at 4:33 PM on May 13, 2013


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