Covered in Band-Aids

May 13, 2013 1:57 AM

"After being failed by my college's administration, I posted my rapist's name and photo on the internet. It was suggested to me that I didn't have to wait for others to agree with me that what had happened to me was wrong -- that I could do something about it myself, if I really wanted."

"My rape and the ensuing process was fairly typical. I trusted a man I was getting to know not to rape me. Then, once raped, I struggled to re-interpret myself as not-raped, because the pain and horror of accepting I had been raped was too much for me to bear. Typical.

Where my story isn't as typical begins about one month ago. After my university failed to take immediate action against the student who raped me (despite having been provided with several audio recordings in which my rapist confessed to raping me) and after I became so socially ostracized that I contemplated suicide, it was suggested to me that I did not have to wait for the world to decide whether it would advocate for me or not.

I could self-advocate. I could post my name and photograph and his name and photograph to the Internet.

And so I did.

Two months ago, I wrote a Tumblr post in which I revealed my name and the name of my rapist and included several photographs, including one of us together. I wrote, "I’m not going to hide behind anonymity. I am a part of this society."

The author, Tucker Reed, is a civil rights activist and author of young adult books as well as a co-author of the Amber House trilogy. She has detailed her experience in her tumblr blog Covered in Band-Aids (About)

Of particular interest are her series So, how do you date a rapist? [To be clear, this is not a how-to guide.]

Part 1: So, how do you date a rapist?
Part 2: Were you really raped by a rapist?
Part 3: What happened after your rape?
Part 4: We went to Vegas
Part 5: Really, how do you date a rapist?
Part 6: How does a rapist manipulate you?
Part 7: How can you deny something like that for two years?
Part 8: What does a rapist look like, and how does he come to be?

As well as,

A brief legal lesson. Free of charge.

Relatedly, from the opposite perspective, I’m not sure exactly when it would have been chronologically, but I was in my early 20’s. And I almost did something horribly fucking awful.

posted by Blasdelb (0 comments total)