Now here's a product who's time has come.

December 2, 2001 7:07 PM

Now here's a product who's time has come. I spied a bag of this on the shelf of the local supermarket yesterday and an impulse buy was born. I'm munching some right now and it's quite tasty, grease, cheese, salt, serious heat, all your junk food needs in one package. This and other recent snack products like Wormz in Dirt(gummi worms rolled in Oreo crumbs) lead me to believe the food companies are hiring stoners to work in product development.I'm sure you guys can cite other examples to prove my point.
posted by jonmc (21 comments total)

In Denmark there was/is a candy company who had the help of children to come up with new names and products. The resulting names was everything from Dogshit to wet diapers (rough translation). Strangely enough the products turned out to be quite popular.
posted by tonelesscereal at 7:41 PM on December 2, 2001

Popnots.

One of my childhood snack fantasies realized.
posted by ebarker at 7:55 PM on December 2, 2001

"Well, who doesn't dig through the popcorn just to get down to those crunchy, little, half-popped pieces of popcorn near the bottom of the bowl?" (from Popnots)

Um...I don't. In fact, I usually leave them behind.

Anyway, myself, I've been wanting to try those chocolate-covered potato chips. Or a deep-fried Snickers.
posted by CrayDrygu at 8:12 PM on December 2, 2001

Yeah, and how different are those popcorn things from Cornnuts anyway? Who would need anything crunchier than Cornnuts?
posted by jeremias at 8:16 PM on December 2, 2001

Nuts-and-gum?
posted by skwm at 8:18 PM on December 2, 2001

Together at last!
posted by j.edwards at 9:25 PM on December 2, 2001

One of the favourites down the chippy near my place in Edinburgh way back when was a frozen mini-pizza, deep-fried. Followed by smokes and more beer. I am endlessly astonished at the bizarre toxic crap that people are willing to eat.

And I eat boiled silkworm grubs (bondaeggi) once in a while.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 10:53 PM on December 2, 2001

Now where's my segway to get me to the store to get some. Those sound great.

Actually they sound cacophanous. Who the fuck thought of selling obnoxious popcorn in movie theatres anyhow?
posted by crasspastor at 11:01 PM on December 2, 2001

patriotic M&Ms were my impulse buy this week, but I felt short-changed because there were less red ones.
posted by ZachsMind at 11:44 PM on December 2, 2001

I dunno, to me this just smacks of ill-fated "brand extension" scattershot experimentation. "Let's put Tabasco on everything! Care for a Tabasco apple? What about a Tabasco Twinkie? Perhaps a Tabasco toothpaste?" Who cares, one of 'em'll sell ..
posted by dhartung at 11:51 PM on December 2, 2001

I am waiting for caffeinated m&ms to be invented....mocha flavored, it should go without saying.
posted by bunnyfire at 1:19 AM on December 3, 2001

bring on the tabasco! it's about time this culinary legend had it's day. for too long has my only access been to a manky 18 year old jar in my moms kitchen.

my friend turned up with a jar of olives flavoured with tabasco.
ooh-baby, they were worthy.
posted by Frasermoo at 5:02 AM on December 3, 2001

screaming yellow zonkers.

they're not available where i live, so i always buy out the gas station mini marts on road trips.
posted by carsonb at 6:27 AM on December 3, 2001

Well, the Tabasco cheese popcorn didn't entice me, but the chipotle Tabasco sauce sure did.
posted by briank at 6:53 AM on December 3, 2001

Who the fuck thought of selling obnoxious popcorn in movie theatres anyhow?
Actually, the obnoxious practice of eating popcorn and other foods during movies is something that only came about with the sound era. Back when movies were silent, audiences were expected to be silent also. No one would have dreamed of eating snacks during a silent movie at one of the old picture palaces. It was only with the advent of sound that the pigs among us decided that they could not stifle their monumental appetites even for the duration of a simple movie, and that the rest of us had to put up with their grunting, oinking, snarffling ingestion of stinking foodstuffs inches from our ears, and endure their filthy, self-satisfied glottal breathing afterward.
posted by Faze at 8:41 AM on December 3, 2001

It was only with the advent of sound that the pigs among us decided that they could not stifle their monumental appetites even for the duration of a simple movie, and that the rest of us had to put up with their grunting, oinking, snarffling ingestion of stinking foodstuffs inches from our ears, and endure their filthy, self-satisfied glottal breathing afterward.

Which reminds me: why don't theaters sell barbecued pork rinds?
posted by sacre_bleu at 9:58 AM on December 3, 2001

Who the fuck thought of selling obnoxious popcorn in movie theatres anyhow?

Ahh, always the cynical, cantankerous lot. Metafilter is the only constant in my life - a cold, harsh blanket of geekiness that chills me to my very heart.
posted by glenwood at 10:01 AM on December 3, 2001

...their grunting, oinking, snarffling ingestion of stinking foodstuffs inches from our ears, and endure their filthy, self-satisfied glottal breathing afterward. - Faze

Amen! And now it's gotten to the point that theaters depend on the revenue from popcorn and Skittles and other shitfood, and must actually promote and encourage the obnoxious gluttony. I love the big screen cinema experience, but the mass oinking drives me so mad that it nearly justifies buying a high-end home theater system. I'd gladly pay twice the current ticket price to enjoy a movie at a theater that banned all food.
posted by Tubes at 10:30 AM on December 3, 2001

You fools! Popcorn is a necessary piece of the movie equation!

"Butter on that?" they ask me. I leap back, wronged by their gaffe.

"Slather that corn with the greasiest faux-butter ooze you can find, my acned friend! I want a layer of popcorn barely covering the bottom of the popcorn tub, and EXACTLY the same mass of butterish substance, covering the kernels, stopping just short of them actually floating in the viscous goo. Repeat this process for every single layer of corn added, until the end result is a liquid morass akin to a popcorn La Brea tarpit, where ancient popcorn monsters met their untimely end in a cholesterol deathtrap."

The corn must be stripped of any sort of crunchiness by the slime of the butter. Then, no crunching sound will be audible. The only sounds that may disturb other moviegoers are the sounds of the popcorn eaters hitting the ground after they suffer cardiac arrest.

My only real requirement for movies: old people have to shut the hell up.

Thank you for your time.
posted by Kafkaesque at 1:09 PM on December 3, 2001

Scariest snack food I've seen recently: a microwave popcorn bag, filled not with unpopped popcorn, but unfried pork rinds. On purpose. Seen in Denver.

Weirdest snack food I kinda liked: Whole wheat pretzel nuggets filled with peanut butter.
posted by NortonDC at 5:34 PM on December 3, 2001

Tabasco popcorn rocks, thanks for pointing it out.
posted by riffola at 7:52 PM on January 27, 2002