Rumors of my death have been greatly exaggerated, biatch
May 22, 2013 9:49 PM   Subscribe

A rather surreal story seems to be developing around rapper Tim Dog, who recently died (previously) - or did he? Enough people believe he actually faked his death that an arrest warrant has been issued for him.

Apparently they cannot find a death certificate. Why would he fake his own death? Tim Dog, it seems, while being at best a mediocre rapper, was a world class con artist. According to a Mississippi judge, he owes about 2 million total to various people he's scammed.
posted by DecemberBoy (32 comments total) 7 users marked this as a favorite

 
What temporal word do you use to describe someone who may be dead but probably faked it? Neither "was" or "is" seem to work.
posted by DecemberBoy at 9:55 PM on May 22, 2013


"may be"?
posted by DoctorFedora at 10:00 PM on May 22, 2013


@DecemberBoy: "Has been".
posted by koavf at 10:02 PM on May 22, 2013 [10 favorites]


"scammin'"
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 10:11 PM on May 22, 2013


For a tombstone, "at best a mediocre rapper" has a really nice ring to it.
posted by phaedon at 10:12 PM on May 22, 2013 [5 favorites]


This includes what's probably the best comment I've ever seen in a Wikipedia entry's revision history.
posted by jessssse at 10:13 PM on May 22, 2013 [3 favorites]


(Try that link again?)
posted by Now there are two. There are two _______. at 10:14 PM on May 22, 2013


What temporal word do you use to describe someone who may be dead but probably faked it? Neither "was" or "is" seem to work.

Wiz?
posted by dirigibleman at 10:40 PM on May 22, 2013 [3 favorites]


I wonder if anyone checked to see if it was filed under "Dog" instead of "Blair"
posted by Hoopo at 11:03 PM on May 22, 2013 [1 favorite]


Well I never saw the death certificate for his career either, but I feel pretty safe assuming it's dead.
posted by three blind mice at 11:04 PM on May 22, 2013 [1 favorite]


Tim Dog?

Owes various people over 2 million dollars? Tim Dog?!

I am cracking up at the audacity and baloonheadedness of the scheme. THIS IS SO SO AWESOME.

Thank you, DecemberBoy.
posted by mistersquid at 11:10 PM on May 22, 2013 [3 favorites]


I dunno, man. If he's alive, this is some great publicity for a guy who's most recent recording successes involve being the dead weight on one of Kool Keith's 8 gajillion collaborations in the late 90s.
posted by Hoopo at 11:17 PM on May 22, 2013 [3 favorites]


Wait, Tim Dog?

Wait ... what!?
posted by chemoboy at 11:26 PM on May 22, 2013


Owes various people over 2 million dollars? Tim Dog?!

From what I can tell, this guy is just a master of finding angles to get easy money, and a rap career was just one part of that. I mean we're talking about a guy who is most famous for being told to "eat a big fat dick" by Snoop Dogg.
posted by DecemberBoy at 11:27 PM on May 22, 2013 [6 favorites]


What temporal word do you use to describe someone who may be dead but probably faked it? Neither "was" or "is" seem to work.

I propose "may have beening."
posted by Joey Michaels at 2:07 AM on May 23, 2013 [5 favorites]


?
posted by pyramid termite at 2:40 AM on May 23, 2013


"Reports of my debt have been greatly exaggerated ...."
posted by tilde at 3:45 AM on May 23, 2013 [11 favorites]


He's probably hanging out with Tupac, recording a new album.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 4:18 AM on May 23, 2013


He's spending a year as a hologram for tax reasons.

There's a joke to be made involving deceased rappers, holograms and the Jedi. I leave this in Metafilter's hands.
posted by selfnoise at 5:32 AM on May 23, 2013 [7 favorites]


What temporal word do you use to describe someone who may be dead but probably faked it? Neither "was" or "is" seem to work.

He definitely was, and still may be. "was be"?
posted by 3FLryan at 6:40 AM on May 23, 2013


Bow-wow-wow yippee yo yippee yay
Tim Dog is definitely NOT in the house
posted by Renoroc at 6:57 AM on May 23, 2013


I mean we're talking about a guy who is most famous for being told to "eat a big fat dick" by Snoop Dogg.

Hey now, let's not be harsh. I bet Snoop Dogg never told any of us to eat a big fat dick. Hell, I haven't even been told by Vanilla Ice, fer crissake.
posted by spacewrench at 7:04 AM on May 23, 2013 [3 favorites]


Ahhh, thanks for posting this. I've been following this the past couple days and been thinking about posting a follow-up. Strange times indeed.
posted by lkc at 7:05 AM on May 23, 2013


.?
posted by Luminiferous Ether at 7:05 AM on May 23, 2013 [5 favorites]


Hell, I haven't even been told by Vanilla Ice, fer crissake.

Did someone get told?
posted by ApathyGirl at 7:20 AM on May 23, 2013


> .?

A regular expression double entendre?
posted by Horselover Fat at 7:23 AM on May 23, 2013 [2 favorites]


Does it make me a bad person that I don't care either way if this person is dead or alive? Now, this is not my default stance, generally I wish the best for most people. In this case I wouldn't spare a . if he was proven dead. An unremarkable life that may or may not be over.
posted by cjorgensen at 7:57 AM on May 23, 2013



posted by Now there are two. There are two _______. at 8:01 AM on May 23, 2013 [2 favorites]


~.
posted by andreaazure at 8:20 AM on May 23, 2013


Fuck Compton, a Tim Dog video for people like me who never him from anything other than his eating of big fat dicks along with Eazy-E and Luke.
posted by Nelson at 8:24 AM on May 23, 2013 [1 favorite]


He's spending a year as a hologram for tax reasons.
...the main work to consult in this matter is Dr. Dan Streetmentioner's Time Traveler's Handbook of 1001 Tense Formations. It will tell you, for instance, how to describe something that was about to happen to you in the past before you avoided it by time-jumping forward two days in order to avoid it. The event will be described differently according to whether you are talking about it from the standpoint of your own natural time, from a time in the further future, or a time in the further past and is futher complicated by the possibility of conducting conversations while you are actually traveling from one time to another with the intention of becoming your own mother or father.

Most readers get as far as the Future Semiconditionally Modified Subinverted Plagal Past Subjunctive Intentional before giving up; and in fact in later editions of the book all pages beyond this point have been left blank to save on printing costs.
From Restaurant at the End of the Universe
posted by Celsius1414 at 8:40 AM on May 23, 2013 [2 favorites]


So reports of his death were energetical, theoretical, copacetical, alphabetical, hypothetical?

Sounds like he taxed more than just wack MCs.
posted by Ice Cream Socialist at 7:57 PM on May 23, 2013 [1 favorite]


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