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May 25, 2013 11:21 AM   Subscribe

Universal Studios has revealed their concept art for a real life Simpson's theme park. Io9 asks how many references you can spot.
posted by The Whelk (60 comments total) 5 users marked this as a favorite

 
On one hand, I'd love a real-life Duffman wandering around greeting people and posing for photos. On the other, I wouldn't wish that job on anyone.
posted by The Card Cheat at 11:32 AM on May 25, 2013 [3 favorites]


I'll be eager to try the Scripto-Coaster, a ride whose design tracks the quality of successive seasons. You get pulled up to an incredible height, and then, just when you've got your breath back from the Armin Tanzarian loop-de-loop, you get thrown down one of the longest, deepest plunges you'll ever experience.
posted by benito.strauss at 11:37 AM on May 25, 2013 [13 favorites]


I'll be very disappointed if there is no Rapping Abe Lincoln.
posted by MoonOrb at 11:38 AM on May 25, 2013 [2 favorites]


Moe's tavern is going to be occupied by lots of confused Otaku.
posted by hellojed at 11:40 AM on May 25, 2013 [7 favorites]


I'm still waiting for that escalator to nowhere.
posted by The Whelk at 11:40 AM on May 25, 2013 [7 favorites]


A life-size Springfield is such a great idea, it's a wonder it hasn't been done already.

But it looks like they're only building rides and restaurants and decor. That's a mistake. They need the Simpsons house in there. I want to run through the garage door and sit on the couch!
posted by painquale at 11:41 AM on May 25, 2013 [7 favorites]


What time is the snake clubbing?
posted by arcticseal at 11:43 AM on May 25, 2013 [4 favorites]


I just want to experience the tire fire.
posted by drezdn at 11:44 AM on May 25, 2013 [3 favorites]


Toxic eternally burning tire fire or get the fuck out.
posted by Think_Long at 11:44 AM on May 25, 2013 [5 favorites]


No rickety monorail?
posted by indubitable at 11:47 AM on May 25, 2013 [1 favorite]


I am not seeing the olde harpsichord shoppe ("The Hurricane")
posted by Namlit at 11:49 AM on May 25, 2013 [1 favorite]


My ex-wife was a huge Simpsons fan and a pretty intelligent woman, to boot. She held a degree in English and caused us to clean up at various Simpsons trivia nights - without her expertise we wouldn't have won a huge collection of swag, not to mention some nice cash prizes. Still, with her it was always "The Simpson's" - she was somehow unable to write the name of the show without an apostrophe.

What I'm getting at is, The Whelk, are you my ex-wife?
posted by item at 11:49 AM on May 25, 2013 [6 favorites]


There's nothing on earth
Like a genuine,
Bona fide,
Electrified,
Six-car
Monorail!
Monorail. Monorail. Monorail. Monorail.
posted by tracicle at 11:49 AM on May 25, 2013 [4 favorites]


I had this brief surge of euphoria and then realized that there is no way that this can possibly live up to my expectations. Will it replay the Duff Gardens Theme Song over and over? Will it have a Leftorium? How this can be accomplished without a monorail is beyond me, and where's the message board that goes along with the First Church of Springfield?

At least there's a Krustyburger.
posted by MoonOrb at 11:56 AM on May 25, 2013 [1 favorite]


Monorail? That's more of a DISNEYLAND idea.
posted by The Whelk at 11:56 AM on May 25, 2013 [21 favorites]


(If there isn't an Aztec Theater showing Itchy and Scratchy shorts I will be SO. UPSET.)
posted by The Whelk at 11:58 AM on May 25, 2013 [1 favorite]


But I wanted to see 'Honk If You're Horny!'
posted by MoonOrb at 11:59 AM on May 25, 2013 [1 favorite]


I'm looking forward to the Max Power ride: Strap yourself in and feel the G's!
posted by blue_beetle at 12:00 PM on May 25, 2013 [1 favorite]


Pukahontas or go home.
posted by arcticseal at 12:01 PM on May 25, 2013


Way to dig up a dead horse and continue to beat it until the bones turn to dust.
posted by Malice at 12:03 PM on May 25, 2013 [1 favorite]


I would totally visit this thing, just on principle. But I would be 100x more interested if this concept art included a roller coaster or two. My amusement-park desires are quite straightforward.
posted by LMGM at 12:09 PM on May 25, 2013


Where nothing can possiblie go wrong.
posted by Flunkie at 12:13 PM on May 25, 2013 [4 favorites]


Hopefully at least one of the fruit trees will have something that tastes like burning.
posted by Ber at 12:14 PM on May 25, 2013


No Dr. Nick's office. Incomplete.
posted by Hollywood Upstairs Medical College at 12:31 PM on May 25, 2013 [3 favorites]


This was already mentioned in the io9 comments, but it is an idea that should be spread far and wide:

If there isn't a gift shop with nothing but BORT license plates, I will be very upset.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 12:40 PM on May 25, 2013 [14 favorites]


As much as I want to go to there, it seems kind of wrong to base a theme park on a cartoon that has spent several entire episodes making fun of how horrible theme parks are.
posted by Sys Rq at 12:43 PM on May 25, 2013


If memory serves, I slightly prefer 'Selma's Choice' over 'Itchy and Scratchy Land'--better watch 'em both tonight just to be sure.
posted by box at 12:50 PM on May 25, 2013


There must be a Little Land of Duff ride and its water must be a powerful hallucinogenic.
posted by soundofsuburbia at 12:52 PM on May 25, 2013


Killer robots I assume?

Looking back on it, the Escalator to Nowhere feels like something out of a Clive Barker story. There's something weirdly seductive about it. "I REGRET NOTHing..." I feel peculiar envy. We have such rides to show you.
posted by justsomebodythatyouusedtoknow at 12:53 PM on May 25, 2013 [1 favorite]


Needs a lizard queen and something that allows you to see through time. Perhaps all the way back to when the show was more than a money grab.
posted by never used baby shoes at 12:58 PM on May 25, 2013 [1 favorite]


Isn't the problem with the current Simpsons that they just coast on easy references and weak cameos?
posted by klangklangston at 1:02 PM on May 25, 2013 [4 favorites]


Won't be complete without [personal fave of the dozens of affectionately recalled locations from 24 years worth of episodes].
posted by DirtyOldTown at 1:11 PM on May 25, 2013 [1 favorite]


Worst. Themepark. Ever.
posted by maryr at 1:22 PM on May 25, 2013 [2 favorites]


Will Moe's be a dive or faux-dive?
posted by jessssse at 1:25 PM on May 25, 2013


Could be Flaming Moe's. They could bring in Guy Fieri for the menu.
posted by maryr at 1:30 PM on May 25, 2013 [1 favorite]


If you go, make sure to remember whether you parked in the Itchy lot or the Scratchy lot.
posted by jessssse at 1:31 PM on May 25, 2013


Way to dig up a dead horse and continue to beat it until the bones turn to dust.

And then you breathe in the dust and the horse kills you from within and you rapidly age and decompose.
posted by LionIndex at 1:43 PM on May 25, 2013


Eh, whatever. I'm a soft touch for this stuff, dead horse/cash grab or not. The idea of a physical Springfield I can actually walk around in is enough to get me to consider a trip to Florida, and there isn't much that can actually do that.
posted by HostBryan at 1:46 PM on May 25, 2013 [1 favorite]


Can I just tell you guys that I found out one of the writers on the comedy show I work on wrote episodes for Simpsons season 8 & 9? I've been sqeeing non-stop since I found out.
posted by Brainy at 1:47 PM on May 25, 2013 [3 favorites]


Where's the Leftorium? Lovejoy's train?? Chili eating contest??? The sinkhole?
They sure have room for expansion.
posted by Namlit at 1:49 PM on May 25, 2013


I don't know where the Leftorium, Lovejoy's train, or the chili eating contest are, but as for the sinkhole, it is in Florida.
posted by Flunkie at 2:46 PM on May 25, 2013 [1 favorite]


It should have not a rickety monorail, but the remains of one, complete with taped off wreckage and boarded up stations. And as much Leonard Nemoy as possible.
posted by gc at 2:47 PM on May 25, 2013


Meanwhile, at Euro Universal Studios...
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 3:08 PM on May 25, 2013


Duffman says a lot of things.
posted by vibrotronica at 3:22 PM on May 25, 2013 [1 favorite]


No Stoner's Pot Palace?
posted by entropicamericana at 3:27 PM on May 25, 2013


And as much Leonard Nemoy as possible.


Umm...anyone want to switch seats?
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 3:35 PM on May 25, 2013


Basically this should be real, to scale, and fully interactive.
posted by The Whelk at 4:04 PM on May 25, 2013


Requests for the Monorail or the Dome but nothing for Springfield Gorge? THERE'S your thrill ride.
posted by oneswellfoop at 4:10 PM on May 25, 2013


There ainĀ“t no monorail and there never was!
posted by concrete at 4:11 PM on May 25, 2013 [1 favorite]


King Toot's?
posted by variella at 5:00 PM on May 25, 2013


soundofsuburbia: "There must be a Little Land of Duff ride and its water must be a powerful hallucinogenic."

Beaten.

Damn your eyes! You must be from Shelbyville.
posted by Samizdata at 6:25 PM on May 25, 2013


Mystery spot is needed.
posted by never used baby shoes at 7:44 PM on May 25, 2013


Based on what happened with Harry Potter World: this is going to be a blatant cash grab, but it's also going to be done with care by someone obsessed with the show, and have lots of great details. I think Universal Studios hired away some people from Disney after they got the Harry Potter license; I'm guessing they'll work on this too and do a great job.

I think they're relatively comfortable with cynicism, but they won't be willing to make everything hostile enough to give you the true Springfield experience.
posted by vogon_poet at 8:03 PM on May 25, 2013 [1 favorite]


I paid for a colossal doughnut, and I'm gonna get a colossal doughnut.
posted by The Whelk at 8:06 PM on May 25, 2013 [1 favorite]


(that being said faux-bawdy ruffly burlesque numbers in the Maison Derriere* would be a fun touch. )

*It means "the back house" "oooh"
posted by The Whelk at 8:08 PM on May 25, 2013


A Simpsons Theme Park ? The concept has merit.
posted by y2karl at 9:51 PM on May 25, 2013


And on the way back to the car, an 18 year old in an ill-fitting Air Force Uniform so that everyone can say "Way to guard the parking lot, top gun!"
posted by barnacles at 1:29 AM on May 26, 2013


I can't spot a damned thing because all I see is a vomit splatter of those "annotation" things that have ruined every fucking Gawker site for the last three months.
posted by XQUZYPHYR at 12:39 PM on May 26, 2013 [2 favorites]


Where's the hammock district?
posted by Diag at 7:33 AM on May 27, 2013 [1 favorite]


In Cypress Creek.
posted by Sys Rq at 7:36 AM on May 27, 2013


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