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An Alternative History of 11 American Female Doctors
May 29, 2013 11:28 AM   Subscribe

An Alternative History of 11 American Female Doctors: "A new producer, Glen A. Larsons, changed up almost everything fans knew about Doctor Who. Gone was the constant traveling, and in its place Jennifer Jones' Doctor was now a scientist working exclusively for the United States military in exile on Earth. The comedic style that had always been a tremendous part of the show was left behind in order to capitalize on the drama skills of the Academy Award-winning actress."

Previously, the men.
posted by feelinglistless (40 comments total) 10 users marked this as a favorite

 
This is awesome but... Courtney Cox?
posted by showbiz_liz at 11:32 AM on May 29, 2013


Florence Henderson as the Doctor, Candice Bergen as Sarah Jane and Nancy Kress writing is basically the greatest possible universe.
posted by Etrigan at 11:37 AM on May 29, 2013 [1 favorite]


Presumably this would tie in to her performance on Scrubs.
posted by Holy Zarquon's Singing Fish at 11:38 AM on May 29, 2013


Rippoff of SciFind's version.
posted by Old'n'Busted at 11:40 AM on May 29, 2013 [3 favorites]


Florence Henderson should be the 5th doctor, not the 4th. A bit subdued, all dignity and decency.

It's not too late to make Tina Fey the 12th Time Lord.
posted by justsomebodythatyouusedtoknow at 11:42 AM on May 29, 2013 [2 favorites]


Yeah, the part that the hardest to believe here is not the Doctor as a woman, but making it American.
posted by GuyZero at 11:43 AM on May 29, 2013 [6 favorites]


Old'n'Busted:

I knew it seemed familiar. Baxendale as 8th is just perfect.

Incidentally, I'd really like the next Doctor in the actual show to be female. Romila Garai would be my choice, though I expect she's too famous now.
posted by feelinglistless at 11:46 AM on May 29, 2013


Is something a rip-off if they cite the original work as inspiration?

quoted straight from from the "American Doctors" article: "Alasdair Stuart over at Sci Find recently did an amazing article that looked at Doctor Who as if the show had always featured a female Doctor throughout its history rather than the male one we have all come to know and love. It's a fantastically deep work of pop culture what if, and I highly recommend you go check it out."

So, uh, not sure I qualify it as a rip-off considering he says "Hey, this inspired me, go check it out."
posted by FritoKAL at 11:53 AM on May 29, 2013 [1 favorite]


Rippoff of SciFind's version.

Which the author freely admits was his inspiration for the Previously (male American Doctors) version.
posted by Etrigan at 11:53 AM on May 29, 2013 [2 favorites]


JINX.
posted by Etrigan at 11:53 AM on May 29, 2013


That was a fun thought experiment, thanks for posting it.
posted by Rock Steady at 12:03 PM on May 29, 2013


It's not too late to make Tina Fey the 12th Time Lord.

What do you mean? Tina Fey is already...

Oh on the show. Carry on.
posted by PlusDistance at 12:05 PM on May 29, 2013 [4 favorites]


Gender switching "The Master" to "The Madame" doesn't really work, given all the baggage that title carries with it. Unless all her schemes involved turning the universe into a giant brothel. Otherwise, this is awesome.
posted by Lentrohamsanin at 12:09 PM on May 29, 2013 [1 favorite]


(Oh and apparently just reading Brittany Murphy's name makes me cry. That was a surprise.)
posted by Lentrohamsanin at 12:13 PM on May 29, 2013 [1 favorite]


Later on, the openly gay Lynch would remark that being carried in Lynda Carter's arms was the highlight of her twenties.

Oh god, worth it for that sentence alone.
posted by greenland at 12:32 PM on May 29, 2013 [2 favorites]


[Elizabeth Brookes] faced off against Geena Davis as the Madame, all the while beginning a smoldering romance with Freddy Rodriguez as her on-screen companion in an action-packed performance that wowed everyone.

Can someone invent a quantum time machine so I can find the World Track where this happened? I promise to bring back a torrent.
posted by MiltonRandKalman at 12:34 PM on May 29, 2013 [1 favorite]


Gender switching "The Master" to "The Madame" doesn't really work, given all the baggage that title carries with it.

And "The Mistress" isn't any better.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 12:34 PM on May 29, 2013 [1 favorite]


"The Masterix," however, sounds pretty badass.
posted by straight at 12:49 PM on May 29, 2013 [1 favorite]


Oh my god, the longing for this universe to be real.
posted by Malla at 12:53 PM on May 29, 2013


Yeah, the part that the hardest to believe here is not the Doctor as a woman, but making it American.

Oh I don't know. I kind of see the fall of the Time Lords in the show as a metaphor for America.

Before they were the undisputed masters of the universe, although a bit amoral sometimes (especially considering the operations of the -ahem- CIA, the Celestial Intervention Agency) they were generally seen as a good thing when they could be arsed to do something about a problem.

Then they were attacked by a force that so upset their comfortable notion that they were best in everything that they went Super Crazy Nuts and started doing deeply disturbing things in response out of panic, and they weren't the vaguely good force in the universe any longer. Which sort of makes the Doctor into an expatriate Gallifreyan/American living on/in Earth/Britain.
posted by JHarris at 1:03 PM on May 29, 2013


Gender switching "The Master" to "The Madame" doesn't really work, given all the baggage that title carries with it.

The Dame.
posted by Celsius1414 at 1:05 PM on May 29, 2013 [3 favorites]


Sharon Gless, "supernanny"? Lack of action? Have they WATCHED Burn Notice? (Yes, she's chidingly maternal in it, but you would be too if your son was Michael Westen blowing up half of Miami.) And less feminist...clearly the writer doesn't know much about the history of Cagney and Lacey.
posted by rednikki at 1:16 PM on May 29, 2013 [2 favorites]


Loved this, although I think the 8th or 9th should have been Marg Helgenberger.
posted by Celsius1414 at 1:22 PM on May 29, 2013


the part that the hardest to believe here is not the Doctor as a woman, but making it American.

The hardest part is believing that a science-fiction show could have run on CBS for 26 years. But if it had, then I want Stephanie Zimbalist to have been the detective Doctor of the early 80's instead of Lynda Carter.
posted by octobersurprise at 1:27 PM on May 29, 2013 [2 favorites]


Sharon Gless, "supernanny"? Lack of action? Have they WATCHED Burn Notice?

I think that might be more of a take on how women characters were written in the late 80's then a reflection of choices an actress would (hypothetically) make.
posted by MiltonRandKalman at 1:41 PM on May 29, 2013


Also, not to take away from Florence Henderson a Doctor-ship that is so rightfully hers, but how can there be an American Doctor Who without Mary Tyler Moore? I mean, Who can turn the world on with her smile! Who can take a nothing day, and suddenly make it all seem worthwhile!

And, in conclusion, Jane Seymour should be the Ninth Doctor.
posted by octobersurprise at 1:47 PM on May 29, 2013


[SPOILERS, DARLING]


INTRODUCING
SIGOURNEY WEAVER
AS
THE DOCTOR


[END SPOILERS]
posted by Rock Steady at 2:24 PM on May 29, 2013 [4 favorites]


Well, as much as I'm not that fond of this whole thought exercise, the logical next question is who would be the male River Song (a conveniently androgynous name). I suspect... Nathan Fillion?
posted by GuyZero at 2:35 PM on May 29, 2013 [4 favorites]


Wait. So Florence Henderson is Tom Baker? I'm down with that. But then Wonder Woman is Peter Davison? *brain asplodes* - Can it get any stranger... Courtney Cox is the sublime Christopher Eccleston? No way.

Relevant - BBC: Was Doctor Who rubbish in the '80s? (Comments are good too.)
posted by marienbad at 2:38 PM on May 29, 2013


"who would be the male River Song"

David Tennent, shurely?
posted by marienbad at 3:06 PM on May 29, 2013 [2 favorites]


I suspect... Nathan Fillion?

Shiny.
posted by Celsius1414 at 3:18 PM on May 29, 2013


Man, it wasn't just Courtney Cox, it was Courtney Cox and Marti Noxon, who ruined so much of later-season-Buffy for me.

God, I just...Nine was my Doctor, all false bravado and shuttered emotions. I can't even imagine anything quite so mind-blastingly awful as Cox and Noxon ruining that.

(However, Lynda Carter and Jane Lynch? Yowzer, there's a sadly lost fandom OTP...)
posted by Katemonkey at 4:22 PM on May 29, 2013 [1 favorite]


I don't know...I respect what this author was attempting to do, and the time they put into it, but the thing fell a little flat to me. It just wasn't *that* interesting. Anyone else feel this way?
posted by bloomington at 5:01 PM on May 29, 2013 [1 favorite]


Please, let's not kid ourselves about how America's Doctor Who would turn out.
posted by Doktor Zed at 5:05 PM on May 29, 2013 [2 favorites]


Why can't Master be gender neutral, like actor or executor? Although, Dame does have a nice ring to it, as would Lady or Queen or Leader or Nemesis or Other.

Joan Allen would be a good Doctor, as would Portia Di Rossi and Angela Kinsey. Frances Conroy would have been great as well, especially as a Fifth Doctor or an Eighth Doctor.
posted by Sticherbeast at 5:29 PM on May 29, 2013


Anyone else feel this way?

Yes. I think it missed a few things.
For one, the Eighth Doctor should have had a one-off movie done by the BBC which was so confoundingly British it failed to lease US audiences.

And they probably should have gender-swapped the companions as well.
posted by Mezentian at 9:52 PM on May 29, 2013


Relevant - BBC: Was Doctor Who rubbish in the '80s? (Comments are good too.)

Article slams The Dalek Invasion of Earth and Talons of Weng Chiang?
*narrows eyes*
This shall not go unchallenged.
posted by Mezentian at 9:56 PM on May 29, 2013 [1 favorite]


Please, let's not kid ourselves about how America's Doctor Who would turn out.

Two words: Sonic Handgun.
posted by straight at 11:27 AM on May 30, 2013 [1 favorite]


These Dalek posters are great.
posted by Mezentian at 4:25 PM on May 30, 2013 [1 favorite]


6 lines of JavaScript that write Doctor Who plots indistinguishable from the current series…
posted by Mezentian at 5:23 PM on May 31, 2013 [1 favorite]


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