It's like Grindr, but for velociraptors.
May 30, 2013 12:01 PM   Subscribe

WTF is my startup pitch?
posted by Nomyte (71 comments total) 11 users marked this as a favorite

 
I love you. Will you come and do strange and wonderful things with me behind the boy's toilet in building 2 after Carpentry workshop?
posted by infini at 12:08 PM on May 30, 2013


I didn't even recognize half the names they were using. (Tungle? JuicyCampus? Palantir?)

I'm getting old.
posted by kmz at 12:09 PM on May 30, 2013 [5 favorites]


These ideas are taken, right?
posted by 0 answers at 12:09 PM on May 30, 2013 [3 favorites]


It's like Grindr, but for libertarians.
posted by BungaDunga at 12:09 PM on May 30, 2013 [8 favorites]


It's like Zynga meets Klout.

Oh seriously..and I only have one bullet?
posted by DigDoug at 12:11 PM on May 30, 2013 [25 favorites]


It's like 99designs, but for blacksmiths.

I would use this service.
posted by feckless at 12:11 PM on May 30, 2013 [3 favorites]


It's like Zynga, but for stunt pilots.

Rovio?
posted by DU at 12:12 PM on May 30, 2013


It's like Goatse, but for Google Glass.
posted by thewalrus at 12:13 PM on May 30, 2013 [42 favorites]


It's like Groupon meets Pinterest.

And once they fall into the honeypot, release the tigers.
posted by DU at 12:13 PM on May 30, 2013 [2 favorites]


It's like AirBnB, but for Realdolls.
posted by thewalrus at 12:13 PM on May 30, 2013 [9 favorites]


Heh, before I clicked through, I honestly thought that this was going to be site where people with perfect pitch identified the notes in their car's engine start and idle.
posted by carter at 12:14 PM on May 30, 2013 [4 favorites]


Quick you fools, apply to Y+Concatenator before it's too late! Dibs on Airbnb meets North Korean prison camps!
posted by Foci for Analysis at 12:15 PM on May 30, 2013 [2 favorites]


It's like Kickstarter, but for barbarians.

There's a joke referencing "allthinger" that I'm too dumb to put together..
posted by bleep at 12:16 PM on May 30, 2013 [1 favorite]


thewalrus, I'M WATCHING YOU!!
posted by Foci for Analysis at 12:16 PM on May 30, 2013 [1 favorite]


It's like this, for that.
posted by The Lurkers Support Me in Email at 12:16 PM on May 30, 2013 [1 favorite]


"It's like TripAdvisor, but for picnics." Hmmmmmm.
posted by epersonae at 12:16 PM on May 30, 2013


Its like Metafilter, but for banhammers
posted by infini at 12:19 PM on May 30, 2013


It's like FourSquare meets Instagram.

Doesn't this already exist?
posted by The Whelk at 12:20 PM on May 30, 2013


It's like Tap Tap Revenge, but for arms dealers.

I'm sorry, but that would make millions.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 12:22 PM on May 30, 2013 [1 favorite]


The Lurkers Support Me in Email I got "SO, BASICALLY, IT'S LIKE A PRODUCT CURATION SERVICE FOR PONZI SCHEMES!" and that's actually scarily close to the startup I work for.
posted by SansPoint at 12:23 PM on May 30, 2013 [3 favorites]


It's like a curveball, but with spit.
posted by Kabanos at 12:23 PM on May 30, 2013


Its like Grindr, but for picnics.

...Go on
posted by 2bucksplus at 12:24 PM on May 30, 2013 [13 favorites]


It's like Chatroulette, for Bassoonists.

How did they know that's what I call it?
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 12:26 PM on May 30, 2013


Dammit - I thought this would be all about sexy dinosaurs! Talk about switch and bait (much like VC pitches anyways).
posted by helmutdog at 12:27 PM on May 30, 2013


It's like this, for that.


This...or that?
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 12:28 PM on May 30, 2013 [1 favorite]


What is tacocopter and why don't I work for it?
posted by eenagy at 12:31 PM on May 30, 2013 [1 favorite]


It's like MetaFilter, but for, you know, normal people.
posted by Nomyte at 12:32 PM on May 30, 2013 [2 favorites]


It's like ogrish.com, but for daycares?
posted by blue_beetle at 12:33 PM on May 30, 2013 [1 favorite]


It's like ogrish.com, but for daycares?

Graphic, uncensored photos of boogers and shin bruises.
posted by prize bull octorok at 12:36 PM on May 30, 2013 [1 favorite]


It's like Grindr meets AirBnB.

You can call it FuckOrFuton.
posted by Jehan at 12:36 PM on May 30, 2013 [6 favorites]


Its like favorites but for this thread.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 12:39 PM on May 30, 2013


It's like Bitcoin but for libertarians.

So in other words, Bitcoin.
posted by subject_verb_remainder at 12:42 PM on May 30, 2013 [6 favorites]


It's like GrubHub, but for picnics.

Would throw venture capital at this
posted by showbiz_liz at 12:45 PM on May 30, 2013 [1 favorite]


Don't the Bitcoin libertarians and the gold-hoarding libertarians know the gasoline & ammo libertarians are gonna cold roflstomp them once the apocalypse comes?

Anyway, this site is making me look up and learn about things like "Klout," and I'm kind of starting to resent it.
posted by prize bull octorok at 12:46 PM on May 30, 2013 [3 favorites]


So, Basically, it's like a
Meme Generator
For
Funeral Homes!

posted by Potomac Avenue at 12:47 PM on May 30, 2013 [1 favorite]


Why isn't there a picnic app? You get an alert if you're nearby; if you pick up something from an approved list (wine, cheese) you get the exact GPS location. PicNicky or something, come on world.
posted by 2bucksplus at 12:48 PM on May 30, 2013 [6 favorites]


It's like chatroulette but for realdolls.

o_o


o_o
posted by mrgoat at 12:49 PM on May 30, 2013 [25 favorites]


I want Picnics on demand.
posted by The Whelk at 12:51 PM on May 30, 2013


Call it Picnix!
posted by Potomac Avenue at 12:52 PM on May 30, 2013


So, Basically, it's like a Database Abstraction Layer For California!

I don't know why this makes me laugh as much as it does.
posted by epersonae at 12:57 PM on May 30, 2013 [2 favorites]


it's a Database Abstraction Layer For California!

This will be the campaign slogan for one of the political parties in my techno-meh-topian SF novel, if I ever get around to writing it.
posted by benito.strauss at 1:03 PM on May 30, 2013 [3 favorites]


It's like Meetup, but for bassoonists.

I'm pretty in love with this.
posted by invitapriore at 1:04 PM on May 30, 2013


"It's like DropBox, but for geologists."

Sold.
posted by brundlefly at 1:05 PM on May 30, 2013


"It's like DrawSomething, but for tile grout."

*laughs*
*gasps for breath*
*laughs*
posted by brundlefly at 1:07 PM on May 30, 2013 [3 favorites]


Its the blue, but its also green.

Wait...

Its the red, but its the new black.
posted by infini at 1:08 PM on May 30, 2013


Why no, my eyes tested just fine, on colour.
posted by infini at 1:09 PM on May 30, 2013


I enjoyed clicking "I need to see more traction" for "It's like JuicyCampus, but for ice road truckers."
posted by elmer benson at 1:11 PM on May 30, 2013 [2 favorites]


It's like Grindr, but for libertarians.

Shruggr
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 1:14 PM on May 30, 2013 [5 favorites]


It's like tacocopter but for RealDolls.

Now that's a pitch you could really get behind.
posted by StrangerInAStrainedLand at 1:18 PM on May 30, 2013 [1 favorite]


Actually, a Shruggr-like site (or two) already exist: TheAtlasphere, and tangentially related, Ron Paul Singles.
posted by filthy light thief at 1:24 PM on May 30, 2013


It's like Chatroulette, but for midwives.

Ha! But also: Ew.
posted by gwint at 1:27 PM on May 30, 2013 [4 favorites]


I had to look up JuicyCampus, and found it only lasted a year and a half, closing up in 2009. At which point, I was hoping for a handy "dead start-ups" category on Wikipedia, but no such luck.
posted by filthy light thief at 1:27 PM on May 30, 2013 [1 favorite]


It's like Grindr, but for hoagies.
posted by straight at 1:36 PM on May 30, 2013 [1 favorite]


It's like OKCupid, but for falconry.

It's like MapQuest, but for ice-road truckers.
posted by figurant at 1:39 PM on May 30, 2013 [1 favorite]


Well, I guess there is the Tech Crunch Deadpool tag, and the rather thin Dead Startups.com. There's also the Y Combinator dead start-ups list, which is a great list of names in an easy-to-read format.
posted by filthy light thief at 1:42 PM on May 30, 2013


It's like Flipboard meets ShoeDazzle.
posted by ob1quixote at 1:42 PM on May 30, 2013


It's like Yelp, but for arms dealers.
posted by xbonesgt at 1:53 PM on May 30, 2013


Its like Fucked Company, but for Web 2.0
posted by MiltonRandKalman at 2:05 PM on May 30, 2013 [9 favorites]


A long time ago I had an idea for a startup. I even had a couple pitch meetings. I thought it was original and good and was going to make me megabucks. It was like Amazon.com except for bondage gear. The vc guys all laughed their ass off and said I was the 1000th guy who had that stupid idea. :(

It was sad face at the time but there was a bunch of psychic energy that I put into it; enough that I genuinely sympathize with these people that keep at it insanely doing the same thing over and over. In retrospect I may be fortunate that my idea was so bad they just laughed me out of town. It was like ripping the bandaid off my dreams as opposed to death by thousand cuts.
posted by bukvich at 2:10 PM on May 30, 2013


It's like Grindr, but for soothsayers.
posted by mosk at 2:25 PM on May 30, 2013


It's like Netflix for Facebook Platform

now that sounds pretty appealing.
posted by PipRuss at 2:28 PM on May 30, 2013


It's like OKCupid, but for sorcerers.

I'll go get my robe and wizard hat.
posted by penguinicity at 2:43 PM on May 30, 2013 [5 favorites]


It's like Kickstarter meets JDate.

I can't even begin to describe what's wrong with that.
posted by Holy Zarquon's Singing Fish at 2:55 PM on May 30, 2013


It's like JDate, but for /r/gonewild
posted by thewalrus at 3:29 PM on May 30, 2013


It's like kink.com, but for Bronies.
posted by thewalrus at 3:30 PM on May 30, 2013 [1 favorite]


SO, BASICALLY, IT'S LIKE A CONTENT DISTRIBUTION NETWORK FOR SYSADMINS!

But who will sysadmin the sysadmins?!
posted by Panjandrum at 3:52 PM on May 30, 2013


"It's like Makerbot for Bitcoin."

So instead of burning electricity, you use up thermoplastic to mint private coinage?
posted by fings at 5:58 PM on May 30, 2013 [1 favorite]


It's like Groupon, but for JDate.

I'm not sure if I like where this is going.
posted by goHermGO at 6:46 PM on May 30, 2013 [3 favorites]


I want to look down at startups, but the fact that people from my generation can get millions of dollars from old rich people with a few good buzzwords, a missing vowel or two, and a T-shirt/blazer combo really makes the Dadaist in me cheer.
posted by jeisme at 9:49 PM on May 30, 2013 [4 favorites]


"It's like Netflix, but for puppeteers."
shut up and take my money!
posted by lenny70 at 12:34 AM on May 31, 2013


It's like Grindr, but for velociraptors.

Clever girl.
posted by Apropos of Something at 8:28 AM on May 31, 2013 [3 favorites]


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