Ruse of War: Chop off your nose, win a war!
May 30, 2013 2:47 PM Subscribe
Ruse Of War: 6 Sneaky, Brilliant Strategies. Mental Floss, (via help from just a small smattering of Duncan & Nofi's Book, Victory and Deceit)., tells tales of ancient Ruse of War tactics. Playing a lute with your gates open, knowing that your enemy thinks your militia is a bunch of losers...they can really help win a battle.
This post was deleted for the following reason: Self linking; banned -- taz
Maybe the French defeat at Dien Bien Phu should be included.
posted by temporicide at 3:05 PM on May 30, 2013 [2 favorites]
posted by temporicide at 3:05 PM on May 30, 2013 [2 favorites]
The Wei knew Liang was no idiot, in fact he had a reputation for being quite slippery. They suspected a trap, and went around the city, leaving it unharmed. As they skirted the town, they walked into the ambush Liang had previously set in the mountains, and were defeated.
"Clearly, it's a trap."
"Wait... what if the trap is a trap?"
"Good point. Liang is a clever bastard."
"Wait... what if the trap-trap is a trap?"
"I'm getting a little sick of your shit, Captain Ackbar."
posted by Etrigan at 3:19 PM on May 30, 2013 [13 favorites]
"Clearly, it's a trap."
"Wait... what if the trap is a trap?"
"Good point. Liang is a clever bastard."
"Wait... what if the trap-trap is a trap?"
"I'm getting a little sick of your shit, Captain Ackbar."
posted by Etrigan at 3:19 PM on May 30, 2013 [13 favorites]
Oglaf
(no direct link because of clickthough issues)
posted by lalochezia at 3:33 PM on May 30, 2013 [4 favorites]
(no direct link because of clickthough issues)
posted by lalochezia at 3:33 PM on May 30, 2013 [4 favorites]
The image in the last link makes me want to play Myth again.
posted by wemayfreeze at 3:38 PM on May 30, 2013
posted by wemayfreeze at 3:38 PM on May 30, 2013
The lute playing one was good, but my favorite Zhuge Liang story is still collecting arrows with straw boats. Though actually both are likely ahistorical anyway.
posted by kmz at 3:52 PM on May 30, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by kmz at 3:52 PM on May 30, 2013 [1 favorite]
The defeat Dien Bien Phu was less a question of trickery, and more a question of underestimation of the enemy. De Castries simply assumed that there was no way that the Viet Minh could put artillery in the hills around his base, and so neglected to establish positions on them. Giap, on the other hand, was likely to have put artillery there regardless. Using bicycles and elbow grease to get his pieces up there was a useful innovation, and Giap likely recognized and exploited the French underestimation of his forces and level of commitment, but neither involved trickery. Similarly, Navarre's expectation that the base could be effectively resupplied by air while under siege, while echoing Goering's fatal error at Stalingrad, did not really involve attempted subterfuge of any sort.
If anything, it was Giap's failure to fall for the French ruse and commit his ground forces in a massed assault on a fortified position (rather than isolating and gradually reducing it, which is what he did) that won the day.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 3:59 PM on May 30, 2013 [2 favorites]
If anything, it was Giap's failure to fall for the French ruse and commit his ground forces in a massed assault on a fortified position (rather than isolating and gradually reducing it, which is what he did) that won the day.
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 3:59 PM on May 30, 2013 [2 favorites]
Joshua: Greetings, Professor Falken.
Stephen Falken: Hello, Joshua.
Joshua: A strange game. The only winning move is not to play. How about a nice game of chess?
Stephen Falken: [cheers] Yes! Your move.
Joshua: [stabs Professor Falken]
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 5:08 PM on May 30, 2013 [5 favorites]
Stephen Falken: Hello, Joshua.
Joshua: A strange game. The only winning move is not to play. How about a nice game of chess?
Stephen Falken: [cheers] Yes! Your move.
Joshua: [stabs Professor Falken]
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 5:08 PM on May 30, 2013 [5 favorites]
My favorite Vietnamese battle was in 938, where they defeated a Chinese force and secured their independence.
posted by zippy at 6:59 PM on May 30, 2013
posted by zippy at 6:59 PM on May 30, 2013
... Well, only for a thousand years, but it was a good run.
posted by zippy at 7:42 PM on May 30, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by zippy at 7:42 PM on May 30, 2013 [1 favorite]
only for a thousand years
The Nazis would have been happy with a thousand years, it was their benchmark.
posted by localroger at 7:53 PM on May 30, 2013
The Nazis would have been happy with a thousand years, it was their benchmark.
posted by localroger at 7:53 PM on May 30, 2013
These remind me of Robert Nye's Falstaff, in which Falstaff, in the fictional Battle of the Herrings, defends a wagon train of provisions during the siege of Orleans. He sets up a stockade with two heavily-defended openings, his ruse being that the openings have no function whatsoever - but puzzling out their purpose so fascinates the enemy that they forget they could easily over-run the stockade at any other point. See Google Books preview.
posted by raygirvan at 8:37 PM on May 30, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by raygirvan at 8:37 PM on May 30, 2013 [1 favorite]
Was reading recently about the Commotion Time rebellion around 1549
posted by TheophileEscargot at 10:46 PM on May 30, 2013 [2 favorites]So impudent were they and so desperate that of theyr vagabond boyes... brychles and bear arssyde came emong the thicket of the arrows and gathered them up when some of the seid arrows stuck fast in theyr leggs and other parts and did therwith most shamefully turne up theyr bare tayles agenst those which did shoote, which so dismayd the archers that it tooke theyr hart from them.With the defenders' spirits apparently broken by this display of bare-arsed defiance, Norwich was in the insurgents' hands by the evening.
Another example of the British expecting (and underestimating) militia was the Battle of Chippawa:
Scott had been unable to obtain enough regulation blue uniforms for his men ... The United States Army's Commissary General, Callender Irvine, hastily ordered 2,000 uniforms to be made and despatched to Buffalo for Scott's other units, but because there was insufficient blue cloth, short jackets (roundabouts) of grey cloth were used instead.
...
At first, Riall was under the impression that the American line was composed of grey-clad militia troops, whom the professional British soldiers held in much contempt. He expected the poorly trained soldiers to fall back in disarray after the first few volleys. As the American line continued to hold steady under British artillery fire, Riall realized his error and supposedly exclaimed his famous phrase "Those are regulars, by God!"
...
The battle of Chippawa, and the subsequent Battle of Lundy's Lane, proved that American regular units could hold their own against British regulars if properly trained and well led. It is generally considered that Riall, although misled as to the strength of the American forces and their quality advanced overconfidently, and his mistaken tactics led to the heavy British casualties.
posted by Comrade_robot at 6:29 AM on May 31, 2013
Scott had been unable to obtain enough regulation blue uniforms for his men ... The United States Army's Commissary General, Callender Irvine, hastily ordered 2,000 uniforms to be made and despatched to Buffalo for Scott's other units, but because there was insufficient blue cloth, short jackets (roundabouts) of grey cloth were used instead.
...
At first, Riall was under the impression that the American line was composed of grey-clad militia troops, whom the professional British soldiers held in much contempt. He expected the poorly trained soldiers to fall back in disarray after the first few volleys. As the American line continued to hold steady under British artillery fire, Riall realized his error and supposedly exclaimed his famous phrase "Those are regulars, by God!"
...
The battle of Chippawa, and the subsequent Battle of Lundy's Lane, proved that American regular units could hold their own against British regulars if properly trained and well led. It is generally considered that Riall, although misled as to the strength of the American forces and their quality advanced overconfidently, and his mistaken tactics led to the heavy British casualties.
posted by Comrade_robot at 6:29 AM on May 31, 2013
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Never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line!
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 3:01 PM on May 30, 2013 [3 favorites]