Consult The Dead Parrot

December 4, 2001 2:25 PM

Consult The Dead Parrot The dead parrot will provide advice on finance, romance, religion, careers, and miscellaneous concerns, apparently. Sample: (Q) I just checked the best-before date on the pot of cream in the refrigerator and it's due to go off tomorrow morning. What can I do with it at such short notice? I don't own a whisk. (answer inside)
posted by feelinglistless (10 comments total)

A: Run out and buy a felt-tip pen, the permanent sort for use with overhead projectors. These pens can withstand low temperatires and do not leak from foil tops, so you should be able to alter the date so that the cream lasts another week. Buy a whisk in the meantime if you like. I don't care.
posted by feelinglistless at 2:26 PM on December 4, 2001

This parrot is definitely deceased!
posted by TacoConsumer at 2:39 PM on December 4, 2001

That reminds me of the Internet Oracle (formerly known as the Usenet Oracle.)
posted by shinybeast at 3:01 PM on December 4, 2001

Q. Why is surrealism so easy?
A. Fish.
posted by dhartung at 3:03 PM on December 4, 2001

There's also the U2 Oracle.
posted by arco at 3:06 PM on December 4, 2001

Sites like that don't last forever.
posted by dsandl at 5:01 PM on December 4, 2001

Well, it's run by a friend of mine, so I may be treading dangerously close to a self-link here, but my personal favorite internet advice column is Ask Mr. Ralph, which is run by an oversexed stuffed tiger. Really.
posted by toddshot at 6:12 PM on December 4, 2001

I asked the damn parrot six hours ago and still no email. Hello ! Hello ! Is this thing on .......
posted by Greggbert at 7:31 PM on December 4, 2001

Heh, the Internet Oracle. I havn't sent a tellme to that for ages... *sniff*

My one claim to fame with the Oracle is inventing a recurring in-joke: Kendai, the work experience priest. I'm amazed that he still pops up occasionally in Occularities.
posted by salmacis at 2:17 AM on December 5, 2001

temperatires = tires made of egg yolk?
posted by mmarcos at 1:11 PM on December 5, 2001