Chillin' The Most
June 6, 2013 6:59 AM Subscribe
Well, I'd sure as hell go on that cruise before I'd go on the National Review one.
posted by The Card Cheat at 7:12 AM on June 6, 2013 [19 favorites]
posted by The Card Cheat at 7:12 AM on June 6, 2013 [19 favorites]
Hey man whatever works for you and doesn't impact my life negatively is fine with me. Rock on rednecks.
posted by cmfletcher at 7:23 AM on June 6, 2013 [10 favorites]
posted by cmfletcher at 7:23 AM on June 6, 2013 [10 favorites]
That Sugar Ray cruise actually makes a lot of sense. I saw Sugar Ray as part of a 90s nostalgia concert last summer and the Sugar Ray portion felt very cruise appropriate. It was basically a 90s themed variety show with McGrath playing MC. It would have been perfect on a cruise ship.
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 7:24 AM on June 6, 2013
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 7:24 AM on June 6, 2013
If they're on a boat, they're probably not voting. Amirite?
posted by pmbuko at 7:26 AM on June 6, 2013 [2 favorites]
posted by pmbuko at 7:26 AM on June 6, 2013 [2 favorites]
No one on the ship calls him "Kid Rock." He's Bob or Bobby to everyone.
This is a weird move from the guy who announces his stage name loudly at least once in every one of his songs.
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 7:27 AM on June 6, 2013 [5 favorites]
This is a weird move from the guy who announces his stage name loudly at least once in every one of his songs.
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 7:27 AM on June 6, 2013 [5 favorites]
It's relatively subdued in here, at least compared with last night, when a woman with huge fake tits and two glittery pasties that looked like tiny starbursts was posing for photographs right next to the soft-serve ice cream bar. She could even flex her boobs individually without touching them. A few feet away, a 13-year-old boy (one of only three minors I see the entire week) saw Sparkle Tits while getting a glass of milk. This, surely, would've been the greatest moment of his young life, were it not for the fact that his mother was standing right there, trying to distract him from Sparkle Tits while simultaneously refusing to acknowledge her existence.
You've already made the extremely questionable decision to bring your kid on a hedonistic rock n roll cruise, lady. You might as well let him ogle Sparkle Tits.
posted by dortmunder at 7:28 AM on June 6, 2013 [18 favorites]
You've already made the extremely questionable decision to bring your kid on a hedonistic rock n roll cruise, lady. You might as well let him ogle Sparkle Tits.
posted by dortmunder at 7:28 AM on June 6, 2013 [18 favorites]
You've already made the extremely questionable decision to bring your kid on a hedonistic rock n roll cruise, lady. You might as well let him ogle Sparkle Tits.
"I found a brochure for a 'kid-rock' cruise. Billy likes kid-rock; I'll take him. I wonder if they'll get those nice One Direction boys will be playing."
posted by Parasite Unseen at 7:33 AM on June 6, 2013 [9 favorites]
"I found a brochure for a 'kid-rock' cruise. Billy likes kid-rock; I'll take him. I wonder if they'll get those nice One Direction boys will be playing."
posted by Parasite Unseen at 7:33 AM on June 6, 2013 [9 favorites]
I could do without the redneck-othering in the article, but otherwise this is a pretty loving take on what's probably a really great time. Cruising is totally not My Thing, but if I had to do it, this is pretty much how I'd want it to go. If I'm trapped on a boat with thousands of other people, I want a drink in my hand and sublimely weird shit to look at.
posted by uncleozzy at 7:34 AM on June 6, 2013 [6 favorites]
posted by uncleozzy at 7:34 AM on June 6, 2013 [6 favorites]
I liked the first paragraph of the article. I liked some of Kid Rock's songs. I went on a regular cruise once and liked it. I dunno if I could take a whole week of this. A KISS cruise might be fun and I'm amazed Gene hasn't thought of it yet and if he's reading this I wanna get paid.
posted by jonmc at 7:36 AM on June 6, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by jonmc at 7:36 AM on June 6, 2013 [1 favorite]
rednecks, in general, have more fun than uppity liberal folk like me. If you're a redneck, you're not dropping $2,300 a month to live in a Park Slope utility closet. The radio plays songs you actually like. You're not waiting in line for hours to eat at a trendy restaurant that doesn't take reservations, because Applebee's is A-OK with you.
This. Life became infinitely happier for me when I dispensed with the whole "guilty pleasure" nonsense. Like what you like.
posted by jbickers at 7:36 AM on June 6, 2013 [13 favorites]
This. Life became infinitely happier for me when I dispensed with the whole "guilty pleasure" nonsense. Like what you like.
posted by jbickers at 7:36 AM on June 6, 2013 [13 favorites]
Remember when Kid Rock was a rapper from Detroit?
I kinda think his whole redneck shtick is just following the easy money. Kid Rock is the Larry the Cable Guy of music.
posted by Sys Rq at 7:47 AM on June 6, 2013 [23 favorites]
I kinda think his whole redneck shtick is just following the easy money. Kid Rock is the Larry the Cable Guy of music.
posted by Sys Rq at 7:47 AM on June 6, 2013 [23 favorites]
I grew up redneck--though we were of the more restrained, uptight variety, and not so much of the booze and nekkid type. I eventually learned to pass for normal in the world of academia and the upper-middle class. I do get tired of the contempt with which ordinary, rural Americans are viewed in academia and its environs... People who treat every other imaginable group with (to say the least) kid gloves have almost nothing but contempt for rural Americans. (And believe me--they realize this. Television made it very clear to me that I was a hick, from very early on, and I'm not even particularly perceptive...)
But damn, that cruise does sound hellish...
posted by Fists O'Fury at 7:51 AM on June 6, 2013 [6 favorites]
But damn, that cruise does sound hellish...
posted by Fists O'Fury at 7:51 AM on June 6, 2013 [6 favorites]
Where's an iceberg when you need one?
posted by entropicamericana at 7:53 AM on June 6, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by entropicamericana at 7:53 AM on June 6, 2013 [1 favorite]
I went on one of Delbert McClinton's Sandy Beaches cruises, it was great. You have to love American roots music, obviously, but you can't beat the variety.
posted by tommasz at 7:55 AM on June 6, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by tommasz at 7:55 AM on June 6, 2013 [1 favorite]
Two Words: JUGGALO CRUISE!!!
*waits for $$ to roll in*
posted by jonmc at 7:57 AM on June 6, 2013 [6 favorites]
*waits for $$ to roll in*
posted by jonmc at 7:57 AM on June 6, 2013 [6 favorites]
Two Words: JUGGALO CRUISE!!!
I think that would be houseboats tethered together out on Dale Hollow.
posted by Thorzdad at 7:59 AM on June 6, 2013 [3 favorites]
I think that would be houseboats tethered together out on Dale Hollow.
posted by Thorzdad at 7:59 AM on June 6, 2013 [3 favorites]
My understanding is that Kid Rock's cruise takes place on the same boat that was stranded without power on the Caribbean for several days recently. Can you imagine if that had happened during that Kid Rock cruise? I mean, think about that one for a little bit.
posted by mcstayinskool at 7:59 AM on June 6, 2013 [2 favorites]
posted by mcstayinskool at 7:59 AM on June 6, 2013 [2 favorites]
The LOLREDNECKS attitude in this thread is pretty disappointing.
Jesus. Anyone developed an anti-redneck-shipping missile yet?
If they're on a boat, they're probably not voting. Amirite?
Where's an iceberg when you need one?
I'm not a fan of Kid Rock or cruise ships in general, but yeah, "the contempt" that Fists O'Fury mentions is pretty loud in here. At least the author of the article is at least reasonably open to the experience.
posted by chambers at 8:02 AM on June 6, 2013 [8 favorites]
Jesus. Anyone developed an anti-redneck-shipping missile yet?
If they're on a boat, they're probably not voting. Amirite?
Where's an iceberg when you need one?
I'm not a fan of Kid Rock or cruise ships in general, but yeah, "the contempt" that Fists O'Fury mentions is pretty loud in here. At least the author of the article is at least reasonably open to the experience.
posted by chambers at 8:02 AM on June 6, 2013 [8 favorites]
Kid Rock is the Larry the Cable Guy of music.This is the most succinctly apt description of Kid Rock that I've ever seen.
posted by usonian at 8:03 AM on June 6, 2013 [1 favorite]
Hey man whatever works for you and doesn't impact my life negatively is fine with me. Rock on rednecks.
I can't favorite things multiple times, so (cue Mooninite voice) I'm favoriting this as hard as I ever have.
posted by aramaic at 8:05 AM on June 6, 2013
I can't favorite things multiple times, so (cue Mooninite voice) I'm favoriting this as hard as I ever have.
posted by aramaic at 8:05 AM on June 6, 2013
Where's an iceberg when you need one?
At the salad bar, cut into wedges, next to the red onion and the bleu cheese dressing. This is a cruise ship, after all.
posted by GenjiandProust at 8:05 AM on June 6, 2013 [4 favorites]
At the salad bar, cut into wedges, next to the red onion and the bleu cheese dressing. This is a cruise ship, after all.
posted by GenjiandProust at 8:05 AM on June 6, 2013 [4 favorites]
There is a belly flop contest on EVERY cruise.
posted by mike_bling at 8:06 AM on June 6, 2013
posted by mike_bling at 8:06 AM on June 6, 2013
I'm not a fan of Kid Rock or cruise ships in general, but yeah, "the contempt" that Fists O'Fury mentions is pretty loud in here. At least the author of the article is at least reasonably open to the experience.
Seriously. These people enjoy music you don't like, drinking watery beer, and being drunk by the pool on a cruise ship. I don't see why that would bother anyone.
I'll also totally cop to enjoying "Cowboy" and "Only God Knows Why" at a minimum.
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 8:08 AM on June 6, 2013 [4 favorites]
Seriously. These people enjoy music you don't like, drinking watery beer, and being drunk by the pool on a cruise ship. I don't see why that would bother anyone.
I'll also totally cop to enjoying "Cowboy" and "Only God Knows Why" at a minimum.
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 8:08 AM on June 6, 2013 [4 favorites]
I'll also totally cop to enjoying "Cowboy" and "Only God Knows Why" at a minimum.
"Picture" is a wonderful karaoke duet for certain values of "wonderful".
posted by uncleozzy at 8:10 AM on June 6, 2013 [2 favorites]
"Picture" is a wonderful karaoke duet for certain values of "wonderful".
posted by uncleozzy at 8:10 AM on June 6, 2013 [2 favorites]
This cruise sounds fun as hell, but as someone who grew up in Middle Tennessee I don't have a lot of fond memories of self described rednecks. They mostly wanted to kick my ass for being a faggot.
posted by josher71 at 8:11 AM on June 6, 2013 [8 favorites]
posted by josher71 at 8:11 AM on June 6, 2013 [8 favorites]
I don't see why that would bother anyone.
Obviously because there is a limited amount of fun and enjoyment in the world, so every cheap guffaw these rubes experience is one less for me.
posted by dubold at 8:12 AM on June 6, 2013 [3 favorites]
Obviously because there is a limited amount of fun and enjoyment in the world, so every cheap guffaw these rubes experience is one less for me.
posted by dubold at 8:12 AM on June 6, 2013 [3 favorites]
There was a great article in the New Yorker last year about partying with Kid Rock which is sadly behind a paywall now.
posted by mike_bling at 8:28 AM on June 6, 2013
posted by mike_bling at 8:28 AM on June 6, 2013
the dirty, nasty, well-kept secret of American life, which is that rednecks, in general, have more fun than uppity liberal folk like me
I'll never understand this confusion. One of my wife's friends spent a good 15 minutes with me trying to work out why it was the people she sometimes hung out with up in Northern New Hampshire had such a good time when all they were doing was riding snowmobiles and drinking cheap beer. As gently as I could, I tried to point out they were legitimately having fun instead of watching themselves from the inside and wondering if they were currently having fun.
posted by yerfatma at 8:30 AM on June 6, 2013 [10 favorites]
I'll never understand this confusion. One of my wife's friends spent a good 15 minutes with me trying to work out why it was the people she sometimes hung out with up in Northern New Hampshire had such a good time when all they were doing was riding snowmobiles and drinking cheap beer. As gently as I could, I tried to point out they were legitimately having fun instead of watching themselves from the inside and wondering if they were currently having fun.
posted by yerfatma at 8:30 AM on June 6, 2013 [10 favorites]
I don't want to suggest that I think it's never ok to laugh at/with (it's often a mixture I think) rednecks... I don't endorse the fastidiously puritanical, morally fanatical attitude that you have to be uptight about your every thought and utterance about groups different than yours... So anyway, I didn't mean to be a scold. Hell, sometimes people are funny, and in those cases I think it's ok to laugh. But I do think that rednecks (and rural people in general) deserve a little more consideration than they normally get...
I also wonder to what extent the the contempt for them is grounded in the fact that they have bad taste. And that's weird.
Still, I'm not intended to play the Redneck Avenger here. Like every other group, rednecks are a mixture of good, bad, and neutral characteristics. And the characteristics most on display in this story...well...not really attractive.
posted by Fists O'Fury at 8:34 AM on June 6, 2013 [2 favorites]
I also wonder to what extent the the contempt for them is grounded in the fact that they have bad taste. And that's weird.
Still, I'm not intended to play the Redneck Avenger here. Like every other group, rednecks are a mixture of good, bad, and neutral characteristics. And the characteristics most on display in this story...well...not really attractive.
posted by Fists O'Fury at 8:34 AM on June 6, 2013 [2 favorites]
There is a belly flop contest on EVERY cruise.
Trust me when I say, there are not belly flop contests on gay/lesbian cruises.
posted by Sophie1 at 8:36 AM on June 6, 2013
Trust me when I say, there are not belly flop contests on gay/lesbian cruises.
posted by Sophie1 at 8:36 AM on June 6, 2013
Obviously because there is a limited amount of fun and enjoyment in the world, so every cheap guffaw these rubes experience is one less for me.
Well, that's it everybody. We reached the point of "Peak Fun". Rationing is now in effect. Here's your beige jumpsuit, a glass of lukewarm water, some elevator music and a vaguely comfortable chair. You will be notified when it's your turn to have fun.
If I don't survive, tell my wife "Hello".
posted by chambers at 8:38 AM on June 6, 2013 [5 favorites]
Well, that's it everybody. We reached the point of "Peak Fun". Rationing is now in effect. Here's your beige jumpsuit, a glass of lukewarm water, some elevator music and a vaguely comfortable chair. You will be notified when it's your turn to have fun.
If I don't survive, tell my wife "Hello".
posted by chambers at 8:38 AM on June 6, 2013 [5 favorites]
Right now—slightly inebriated—I feel like doing this would be a good idea. I'm not a fan of Kid Rock, not a fan of redneck culture in general (guns, jesus, etc), but I do like a good party; beyond the pigeonhole, everyone can be good fun, and with the state of mind the vast majority of the cruise participants enter into this project with, it's bound be be fun.
And who doesn't like fun?
Really?
posted by flippant at 8:39 AM on June 6, 2013 [1 favorite]
And who doesn't like fun?
Really?
posted by flippant at 8:39 AM on June 6, 2013 [1 favorite]
I do not like fun.
posted by sandettie light vessel automatic at 8:43 AM on June 6, 2013 [4 favorites]
posted by sandettie light vessel automatic at 8:43 AM on June 6, 2013 [4 favorites]
I just don't like boats.
posted by infinitywaltz at 8:46 AM on June 6, 2013
posted by infinitywaltz at 8:46 AM on June 6, 2013
I'd also just like to say that having partied with many different kinds of people over the years, parties thrown by what Metafilter calls "redneck" folk have been by far the most fun. Drunken, uninhibited and occasionally dangerous, but damn absolutely fun.
posted by chambers at 8:46 AM on June 6, 2013 [2 favorites]
posted by chambers at 8:46 AM on June 6, 2013 [2 favorites]
Here's your beige jumpsuit, a glass of lukewarm water, some elevator music and a vaguely comfortable chair. You will be notified when it's your turn to have fun.
You have a secret beige jumpsuit and lukewarm water fetish don't you? Stop trying to trick people into having your fun!
posted by GenjiandProust at 8:51 AM on June 6, 2013
You have a secret beige jumpsuit and lukewarm water fetish don't you? Stop trying to trick people into having your fun!
posted by GenjiandProust at 8:51 AM on June 6, 2013
I'll never understand this confusion. One of my wife's friends spent a good 15 minutes with me trying to work out why it was the people she sometimes hung out with up in Northern New Hampshire had such a good time when all they were doing was riding snowmobiles and drinking cheap beer. As gently as I could, I tried to point out they were legitimately having fun instead of watching themselves from the inside and wondering if they were currently having fun.
There is a very American attitude that I ...am frequently a victim of that any amount of pleasure is highly suspect so it has to be cloaked in things like " it's educational!" or " it's good exercise!" or it's somehow a morally uplifting activity cause doing something just for fun brings in the specter that you MIGHT NOT BE PRODUCTIVE and thus are in danger of being fired from being a worthy person. This leaks into even the most hedonistic pursuits, work hard, play hard, cause you Must Excell at everything you do.
I also read a fascinating essay on the contract between Blaxspotation films and Hicksexploitatan films of the 70s where the basic idea was that while Blaxspoitation films tended to be power fantasies, Hicksexploitan where fantasies of powerlessness, of being freed from the demands of performing sober, circumscript, morally upright, productive Whiteness.
posted by The Whelk at 8:53 AM on June 6, 2013 [11 favorites]
There is a very American attitude that I ...am frequently a victim of that any amount of pleasure is highly suspect so it has to be cloaked in things like " it's educational!" or " it's good exercise!" or it's somehow a morally uplifting activity cause doing something just for fun brings in the specter that you MIGHT NOT BE PRODUCTIVE and thus are in danger of being fired from being a worthy person. This leaks into even the most hedonistic pursuits, work hard, play hard, cause you Must Excell at everything you do.
I also read a fascinating essay on the contract between Blaxspotation films and Hicksexploitatan films of the 70s where the basic idea was that while Blaxspoitation films tended to be power fantasies, Hicksexploitan where fantasies of powerlessness, of being freed from the demands of performing sober, circumscript, morally upright, productive Whiteness.
posted by The Whelk at 8:53 AM on June 6, 2013 [11 favorites]
I've... seen things you people wouldn't believe... A Dodge Omni inside a 5-foot high pile of beer cans on fire in rural Western Pennsylvania. I watched fountains of moonshine glitter in the dark at the side of bonfires while the guitars of AC/DC echoes in the hills. All those... moments... will be lost in time, like tears... in... my... beer...
posted by chambers at 8:54 AM on June 6, 2013 [10 favorites]
posted by chambers at 8:54 AM on June 6, 2013 [10 favorites]
I will admit that while being off-the-meter left-wing-elitist and all that, some of the craziest fun I've had was getting walleyed on Yuengling and riding in a kayak that was being pulled through a field at a fair clip by a truck. Definitely the closest I've come to the Redneck Famous Last Words of "Hold mah beer, I wanna try somethin'..."
posted by FatherDagon at 8:59 AM on June 6, 2013 [2 favorites]
posted by FatherDagon at 8:59 AM on June 6, 2013 [2 favorites]
I thought the standard of Redneck Famous Last Words were: "Hey, y'all! Watch this!"
posted by Kitteh at 9:01 AM on June 6, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by Kitteh at 9:01 AM on June 6, 2013 [1 favorite]
All I know is the next person who raises an eyebrow when told I'm teaching on a knitting cruise in the Caribbean next January is getting a link to this and the snowfall forecast for Cleveland that month.
posted by bitter-girl.com at 9:18 AM on June 6, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by bitter-girl.com at 9:18 AM on June 6, 2013 [1 favorite]
I'm trying to imagine a Smiths cruise, but keep getting stalled at the vision of vegan buffets and everyone getting mopey and throwing themselves overboard.
posted by jonmc at 9:32 AM on June 6, 2013 [11 favorites]
posted by jonmc at 9:32 AM on June 6, 2013 [11 favorites]
Ug, that All Summer Long song is the official song of northern Michigan now and it's fucking horrible.
posted by zzazazz at 9:32 AM on June 6, 2013 [3 favorites]
posted by zzazazz at 9:32 AM on June 6, 2013 [3 favorites]
A lot of people feel the need to mock rural folks because, for the most part, its pretty much only "rednecks" left who have little use for the fucked up 24/7 kabuki play acting corporate American life demands nowadays. To see someone having unironic fun stands as an indictment of the shitty system of constant competitive, comparative status grasping into which the joyless divisions of The Professsional Classes have allowed themselves to be coopted. All they can do is sneer, to keep from weeping.
posted by Chrischris at 9:34 AM on June 6, 2013 [4 favorites]
posted by Chrischris at 9:34 AM on June 6, 2013 [4 favorites]
It warms my heart to read that the KISS cruise constitutes the "KISS Navy." Bout time they took things in a combined-arms direction.
posted by 7segment at 9:35 AM on June 6, 2013 [4 favorites]
posted by 7segment at 9:35 AM on June 6, 2013 [4 favorites]
I did read about Styx playing a cruise ship and if I was a passenger and they didn't play "Come Sail Away," as we disembarked, I'd ask for my money back.
posted by jonmc at 9:35 AM on June 6, 2013 [2 favorites]
posted by jonmc at 9:35 AM on June 6, 2013 [2 favorites]
Judging from this AskMe question, Kid Rock can be a serious issue in the lives of men hitting 40. Please be careful out there.
posted by porn in the woods at 9:38 AM on June 6, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by porn in the woods at 9:38 AM on June 6, 2013 [1 favorite]
Weezer has a cruise. I think this is the only image you need to explain it.
posted by uncleozzy at 9:41 AM on June 6, 2013 [4 favorites]
posted by uncleozzy at 9:41 AM on June 6, 2013 [4 favorites]
in danger of being fired from being a worthy person
Oh, if only. I'd love to walk into the relevant boardroom and pitch everyone the double bird. Hell, I'd let them play a Kid Rock song as my exit music.
posted by yerfatma at 9:47 AM on June 6, 2013 [2 favorites]
Oh, if only. I'd love to walk into the relevant boardroom and pitch everyone the double bird. Hell, I'd let them play a Kid Rock song as my exit music.
posted by yerfatma at 9:47 AM on June 6, 2013 [2 favorites]
I am not a redneck myself, but I am of rednecks and I speak redneck. I'm from Tennessee. I'm fat. I drink cheap beer. I work a blue collar job with my name stitched right on my shirt. I cannot pronounce the word "pen" with less than two syllables. I have blown the speakers in two cars on the same AC/DC song.
I give you permission to laugh here.
The people on the cruise are laughing. Self-deprecation is an intrinsic part of redneck-dom.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 10:07 AM on June 6, 2013 [11 favorites]
I give you permission to laugh here.
The people on the cruise are laughing. Self-deprecation is an intrinsic part of redneck-dom.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 10:07 AM on June 6, 2013 [11 favorites]
The people on the cruise are laughing. Self-deprecation is an intrinsic part of redneck-dom.
If you're laughing at rednecks on a redneck cruise you paid to be on, you might be a redneck.
posted by Sys Rq at 10:35 AM on June 6, 2013
If you're laughing at rednecks on a redneck cruise you paid to be on, you might be a redneck.
posted by Sys Rq at 10:35 AM on June 6, 2013
"There is a very American attitude that I ...am frequently a victim of that any amount of pleasure is highly suspect so it has to be cloaked in things like " it's educational!" or " it's good exercise!" or it's somehow a morally uplifting activity..."
It was only while reading Highlights for Children as an adult (shut up, Goofus and Gallant calibrate my moral compass) that I noticed that its subtitle is "Fun with a Purpose."
Because Undirected and/or Self-Indulgent Fun can only lead to Moral Degradation and, in the worst of cases, Self-Abuse.
All that said, no, you couldn't pay me to go on a Kid Rock cruise because (i) I don't like Kid Rock's music, (ii) I'm not really comfortable on open water and (iii) the idea of being trapped on a boat with people being self-consciously "redneck" is as appealing as unanesthetized oral surgery.
I get that some city folks conflate "rural" with "redneck." That is wrong. But it's also profoundly annoying that some Americans feel they have to live down to the stereotype.
posted by the sobsister at 10:40 AM on June 6, 2013
It was only while reading Highlights for Children as an adult (shut up, Goofus and Gallant calibrate my moral compass) that I noticed that its subtitle is "Fun with a Purpose."
Because Undirected and/or Self-Indulgent Fun can only lead to Moral Degradation and, in the worst of cases, Self-Abuse.
All that said, no, you couldn't pay me to go on a Kid Rock cruise because (i) I don't like Kid Rock's music, (ii) I'm not really comfortable on open water and (iii) the idea of being trapped on a boat with people being self-consciously "redneck" is as appealing as unanesthetized oral surgery.
I get that some city folks conflate "rural" with "redneck." That is wrong. But it's also profoundly annoying that some Americans feel they have to live down to the stereotype.
posted by the sobsister at 10:40 AM on June 6, 2013
Gallant was a boring prissy stiff.
posted by jonmc at 10:43 AM on June 6, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by jonmc at 10:43 AM on June 6, 2013 [1 favorite]
I've... seen things you people wouldn't believe... A Dodge Omni inside a 5-foot high pile of beer cans on fire in rural Western Pennsylvania. I watched fountains of moonshine glitter in the dark at the side of bonfires while the guitars of AC/DC echoes in the hills. All those... moments... will be lost in time, like tears... in... my... beer...
One of the most pleasing comments I've ever seen on the interwebs, chambers.
I get that some city folks conflate "rural" with "redneck." That is wrong. But it's also profoundly annoying that some Americans feel they have to live down to the stereotype.
I agree. Though it seems to me that people are often desperate for some kind of (as it were) identifiable identity. I kinda think that it can seem like the only even vaguely authentic, widely-recognized identity template available to some people.
Aaaaand that's exactly the kind of comment (mine, that is) that indicates that my hillbilly cred is all but evaporated...
posted by Fists O'Fury at 11:00 AM on June 6, 2013 [2 favorites]
One of the most pleasing comments I've ever seen on the interwebs, chambers.
I get that some city folks conflate "rural" with "redneck." That is wrong. But it's also profoundly annoying that some Americans feel they have to live down to the stereotype.
I agree. Though it seems to me that people are often desperate for some kind of (as it were) identifiable identity. I kinda think that it can seem like the only even vaguely authentic, widely-recognized identity template available to some people.
Aaaaand that's exactly the kind of comment (mine, that is) that indicates that my hillbilly cred is all but evaporated...
posted by Fists O'Fury at 11:00 AM on June 6, 2013 [2 favorites]
I think that's exactly right. Whatever hardwired instinct exists for tribalism will often latch onto a—IMO—sketchy group persona over no group identification at all. And that extends way beyond just "rednecks."
posted by the sobsister at 11:21 AM on June 6, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by the sobsister at 11:21 AM on June 6, 2013 [1 favorite]
I cannot imagine going on a regular cruise.
While I've enjoyed some of Bob's music, I can't really imagine going on this cruise, either. It is correct that "Kid Rock" is a stage name in the truest sense of the word: it's a persona he puts on when performing. A former client of mine know Bob before he broke, and had him signed to his record label (Continuum, now defunct). He's a smart guy who has found a niche that (a) he enjoys and that (b) is apparently lucrative. N.B. that he's also well advised, and has kept a much larger piece of the pie than most would assume, given his public persona.
But my wife and I did go on an affinity cruise last year: JoCoCruiseCrazy, centered around Jonathan Coulton.
It, too, was on a giant-ass boat (2nd biggest passenger ship in the world). It wasn't all JCCC folks, but we were a really significant fraction. Coulton brings along a delightful assortment of other acts (this year: John Hodgman, Wil Wheaton, Molly Lewis, the Doubleclicks, Paul & Storm, Zoe Keating (ZOMG), Mike Phirman, Joseph Scrimshaw, others), and attracts exactly the sort of geeky crowd that I am. There's a 24x7 gaming room (actually, we took over the entire conference center). There are panels, a la a good con. Except most conventions don't have drink service.
The JoCo cruise is amazing, really. It's clear that affinity cruises ARE pretty lucrative and pretty great marketing for artists -- they get to hang, if they want to, with some of their fans. I suspect JoCo is doing a better job of this than most others, though.
posted by uberchet at 12:09 PM on June 6, 2013 [1 favorite]
While I've enjoyed some of Bob's music, I can't really imagine going on this cruise, either. It is correct that "Kid Rock" is a stage name in the truest sense of the word: it's a persona he puts on when performing. A former client of mine know Bob before he broke, and had him signed to his record label (Continuum, now defunct). He's a smart guy who has found a niche that (a) he enjoys and that (b) is apparently lucrative. N.B. that he's also well advised, and has kept a much larger piece of the pie than most would assume, given his public persona.
But my wife and I did go on an affinity cruise last year: JoCoCruiseCrazy, centered around Jonathan Coulton.
It, too, was on a giant-ass boat (2nd biggest passenger ship in the world). It wasn't all JCCC folks, but we were a really significant fraction. Coulton brings along a delightful assortment of other acts (this year: John Hodgman, Wil Wheaton, Molly Lewis, the Doubleclicks, Paul & Storm, Zoe Keating (ZOMG), Mike Phirman, Joseph Scrimshaw, others), and attracts exactly the sort of geeky crowd that I am. There's a 24x7 gaming room (actually, we took over the entire conference center). There are panels, a la a good con. Except most conventions don't have drink service.
The JoCo cruise is amazing, really. It's clear that affinity cruises ARE pretty lucrative and pretty great marketing for artists -- they get to hang, if they want to, with some of their fans. I suspect JoCo is doing a better job of this than most others, though.
posted by uberchet at 12:09 PM on June 6, 2013 [1 favorite]
Gallant was a boring prissy stiff.
Who said I was calibrating to Gallant?
posted by the sobsister at 12:30 PM on June 6, 2013 [1 favorite]
Who said I was calibrating to Gallant?
posted by the sobsister at 12:30 PM on June 6, 2013 [1 favorite]
That Kiss Kruise website is amazing, down to the highly detailed and precise instructional video on how not to disturb the Kiss band members outside of the contractually-required performance and/or appearance events.
You will get your one contractually required photo with the band and no more!
posted by JoeZydeco at 12:35 PM on June 6, 2013 [1 favorite]
You will get your one contractually required photo with the band and no more!
posted by JoeZydeco at 12:35 PM on June 6, 2013 [1 favorite]
It's not the same without Joe C [pours a bit of a 40 on the sidewalk].
posted by Renoroc at 12:55 PM on June 6, 2013 [2 favorites]
posted by Renoroc at 12:55 PM on June 6, 2013 [2 favorites]
I'd definitely go on this, it looks like a ton of fun. I don't understand the hate people have for rednecks, but maybe it's because part of my family were rednecks in some manner (though living on their own property in a trailer in backwoods Florida). I can definitely see why elitist country club liberals would bash this sort of thing though (funny how that comes around full swing).
posted by gucci mane at 3:09 PM on June 6, 2013
posted by gucci mane at 3:09 PM on June 6, 2013
Country clubs are not known to be hotbeds of Marxism. Quite the opposite.
posted by The Whelk at 3:10 PM on June 6, 2013
posted by The Whelk at 3:10 PM on June 6, 2013
Eh, this is kinda weird. Not a Kid Rock fan, but what the hell, I was reading this thread, and couldn't *quite* figure out why all this 'LEAVE REDNECKS ALONE' stuff was bothering me so much, and then I came to josher71's comment
Doesn't really have shit to do with 'othering' rural folks, has to do with basically hegemony-supporting, xenophobic-to-the-point-of-violence hayseed fucks being opposed to my very existence because the length of my hair (in the 80's, for fucks sake) confused them about my (or more likely their) sexual orientation.
That's maybe why I spent the whole last decade frustrated as hell with all the 'oh don't be mean to the proudly-ignorant! That's why they vote republican, because Big City Folks (buncha rootless cosmopolitans!) don't respect 'em.' Because fuck that. if your identity revolves around 'othering', and being confused by and resentful of, the majority of the rest of the world, maybe you should, I dunno, grow up?
I did, don't think about HS much if at all, could probably drink the proverbial beer- no, not Coors but Lone Star is fine- w/ those aforementioned assholes as long as we didn't talk about politics. But seriously, fuck that 'we're so victimized for being small-minded' shit.
posted by hap_hazard at 4:03 PM on June 6, 2013 [4 favorites]
They mostly wanted to kick my ass for being a faggot.and I suddenly remembered- yeah, that was a big part of my HS experience- having fine upstanding skoal-ring-on-the-wranglers-pocket Redneck Americans calling me a faggot and offering to kick my ass because my hair was too long.
Doesn't really have shit to do with 'othering' rural folks, has to do with basically hegemony-supporting, xenophobic-to-the-point-of-violence hayseed fucks being opposed to my very existence because the length of my hair (in the 80's, for fucks sake) confused them about my (or more likely their) sexual orientation.
That's maybe why I spent the whole last decade frustrated as hell with all the 'oh don't be mean to the proudly-ignorant! That's why they vote republican, because Big City Folks (buncha rootless cosmopolitans!) don't respect 'em.' Because fuck that. if your identity revolves around 'othering', and being confused by and resentful of, the majority of the rest of the world, maybe you should, I dunno, grow up?
I did, don't think about HS much if at all, could probably drink the proverbial beer- no, not Coors but Lone Star is fine- w/ those aforementioned assholes as long as we didn't talk about politics. But seriously, fuck that 'we're so victimized for being small-minded' shit.
posted by hap_hazard at 4:03 PM on June 6, 2013 [4 favorites]
I did, don't think about HS much if at all, could probably drink the proverbial beer- no, not Coors but Lone Star is fine- w/ those aforementioned assholes as long as we didn't talk about politics. But seriously, fuck that 'we're so victimized for being small-minded' shit.
The thing is, though, that there's absolutely zero evidence that the people on this cruise are small minded, anti-gay, or ignorant. The things we know about them are 1) they like Kid Rock, and 2) they are happy to be associated with the label "redneck." Kid Rock himself is pro-gay marriage equality, and his fan base is largely young enough that there's a decent chance a number of them are as well. There's also nothing about being a "redneck" that requires othering, being anti-gay, or voting Republican. I've known rednecks who were nothing like that, plenty of them.
If someone wants to drink Bud Lite and listen to Kid Rock and you jump the conclusion that they would want to kick your ass for having long hair (a hilarious thing to say about fans of a guy who looks like Kid Rock), then that honestly is your problem, not their's. They've done nothing to earn your ire except belong to same fairly large subculture than some people you went to high school with, and that sort of guilt by music tastes is shitty reasoning no matter who you do it to.
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 4:15 PM on June 6, 2013 [3 favorites]
The thing is, though, that there's absolutely zero evidence that the people on this cruise are small minded, anti-gay, or ignorant. The things we know about them are 1) they like Kid Rock, and 2) they are happy to be associated with the label "redneck." Kid Rock himself is pro-gay marriage equality, and his fan base is largely young enough that there's a decent chance a number of them are as well. There's also nothing about being a "redneck" that requires othering, being anti-gay, or voting Republican. I've known rednecks who were nothing like that, plenty of them.
If someone wants to drink Bud Lite and listen to Kid Rock and you jump the conclusion that they would want to kick your ass for having long hair (a hilarious thing to say about fans of a guy who looks like Kid Rock), then that honestly is your problem, not their's. They've done nothing to earn your ire except belong to same fairly large subculture than some people you went to high school with, and that sort of guilt by music tastes is shitty reasoning no matter who you do it to.
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 4:15 PM on June 6, 2013 [3 favorites]
. There's also nothing about being a "redneck" that requires othering, being anti-gay, or voting Republican. I've known rednecks who were nothing like that, plenty of them.
Our experiences with self proclaimed rednecks are quite different. Now, this was over 20 years ago that I had my last real interaction, so I grant things have changed. But to say that rednecks are just misunderstood really flies directly in the face of the treatment I received in high school.
I said earlier that this cruise looked like fun and the label redneck is kind of like parrot head in this instance. However, if parrot heads I'd known liked to beat me up then I'd be wary of them too.
Whatever, these all seem like fine people. I just don't see the basis for the "poor misunderstood redneck" talk.
posted by josher71 at 4:34 PM on June 6, 2013
Our experiences with self proclaimed rednecks are quite different. Now, this was over 20 years ago that I had my last real interaction, so I grant things have changed. But to say that rednecks are just misunderstood really flies directly in the face of the treatment I received in high school.
I said earlier that this cruise looked like fun and the label redneck is kind of like parrot head in this instance. However, if parrot heads I'd known liked to beat me up then I'd be wary of them too.
Whatever, these all seem like fine people. I just don't see the basis for the "poor misunderstood redneck" talk.
posted by josher71 at 4:34 PM on June 6, 2013
to say that rednecks are just misunderstood
For what it's worth, I did express distaste with the article's othering at the top of the thread, but I don't by any means want to suggest that them good ol' boys are just misunderstood when they kick some kid's head in because they don't like the look of him. But they're not doing that here, obviously, and I just thought the tone of the article was out-of-phase with the message it was actually sending.
posted by uncleozzy at 4:39 PM on June 6, 2013 [1 favorite]
For what it's worth, I did express distaste with the article's othering at the top of the thread, but I don't by any means want to suggest that them good ol' boys are just misunderstood when they kick some kid's head in because they don't like the look of him. But they're not doing that here, obviously, and I just thought the tone of the article was out-of-phase with the message it was actually sending.
posted by uncleozzy at 4:39 PM on June 6, 2013 [1 favorite]
KISS cruise sounds more fun
it's impossible for me to be judgemental about Kid Rock, since most of the bands i listen to are also just pastiches of retro and Southern rock... they're just a bit more highbrow about it
hell a Drive By Truckers/Kid Rock colabwould be insane
Kid Rock is opening for Bon Jovi here soon. so tempted
posted by Charlemagne In Sweatpants at 4:48 PM on June 6, 2013
it's impossible for me to be judgemental about Kid Rock, since most of the bands i listen to are also just pastiches of retro and Southern rock... they're just a bit more highbrow about it
hell a Drive By Truckers/Kid Rock colabwould be insane
Kid Rock is opening for Bon Jovi here soon. so tempted
posted by Charlemagne In Sweatpants at 4:48 PM on June 6, 2013
Bon Jovi was the opening act at my first concert. Scorpions were the headliners. It rocked. The rough looking dude next to us bummed my lighter to fire up a joint but didn't offer me a hit.
posted by jonmc at 5:09 PM on June 6, 2013
posted by jonmc at 5:09 PM on June 6, 2013
Whatever, these all seem like fine people. I just don't see the basis for the "poor misunderstood redneck" talk.
The basis was that, in a thread that is entirely about how they wanted to go on a cruise and have a good time, the immediate reaction was to make jokes at their expense. Not about anything substantive, mind, just lolrednecks don't we all hate them, why can't we blow up this ship with all the dumb rednecks on it. So yeah, in this context, rednecks are poor and misunderstood. Based on literally nothing other than their taste in music.
This isn't Middle Tennessee, rednecks aren't the hegemonic culture here; they're mostly maligned outsiders who the butt of jokes and the subject of stereotypes.
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 5:48 PM on June 6, 2013 [2 favorites]
The basis was that, in a thread that is entirely about how they wanted to go on a cruise and have a good time, the immediate reaction was to make jokes at their expense. Not about anything substantive, mind, just lolrednecks don't we all hate them, why can't we blow up this ship with all the dumb rednecks on it. So yeah, in this context, rednecks are poor and misunderstood. Based on literally nothing other than their taste in music.
This isn't Middle Tennessee, rednecks aren't the hegemonic culture here; they're mostly maligned outsiders who the butt of jokes and the subject of stereotypes.
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 5:48 PM on June 6, 2013 [2 favorites]
I don't think I've ever heard a Kid Rock song, but this sounds like something I would totally do, just to have done it.
Then again, it sounds more or less like an organized, tour-group way of doing what I did for upwards of a year when I was living on sailboats on the Pacific coast of Mexico, way back when.
Five days in a row? Try nine months! That said, I was in my late 20s at the time, and semi-indestructable, so.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 6:02 PM on June 6, 2013 [2 favorites]
Then again, it sounds more or less like an organized, tour-group way of doing what I did for upwards of a year when I was living on sailboats on the Pacific coast of Mexico, way back when.
Five days in a row? Try nine months! That said, I was in my late 20s at the time, and semi-indestructable, so.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 6:02 PM on June 6, 2013 [2 favorites]
This isn't Middle Tennessee, rednecks aren't the hegemonic culture here; they're mostly maligned outsiders who the butt of jokes and the subject of stereotypes.
Just clarifying, by "this" you mean MeFi?
posted by josher71 at 6:16 PM on June 6, 2013
Just clarifying, by "this" you mean MeFi?
posted by josher71 at 6:16 PM on June 6, 2013
the thing is i've never met a real redneck, and they're kinda an object of fetishization/facination. like i grew up in a place with no country music station. but i dunno if Kid Rock is a 'real' redneck
posted by Charlemagne In Sweatpants at 6:39 PM on June 6, 2013
posted by Charlemagne In Sweatpants at 6:39 PM on June 6, 2013
the craziest Marine recruitment video/Kid Rock song
posted by Charlemagne In Sweatpants at 6:42 PM on June 6, 2013
posted by Charlemagne In Sweatpants at 6:42 PM on June 6, 2013
Shooter Jennings in his band? DAMN my mates say he's good
posted by Charlemagne In Sweatpants at 6:50 PM on June 6, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by Charlemagne In Sweatpants at 6:50 PM on June 6, 2013 [1 favorite]
Yeah, I meant Metafilter.
the thing is i've never met a real redneck, and they're kinda an object of fetishization/facination. like i grew up in a place with no country music station. but i dunno if Kid Rock is a 'real' redneck
If he isn't, he's been playing the part long enough that it really doesn't make a difference. The group that self-identifies as rednecks* is basically like any other subculture, if you dress the part, like the right music, and do the right activities, there isn't much else to do to make yourself "real." That's not to say that there isn't fighting about who is a real redneck (there is), but that's typical of most groups.
*So as to distinguish this usage from the usage that is just a slur for a poor white person in a rural area.
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 7:13 PM on June 6, 2013
the thing is i've never met a real redneck, and they're kinda an object of fetishization/facination. like i grew up in a place with no country music station. but i dunno if Kid Rock is a 'real' redneck
If he isn't, he's been playing the part long enough that it really doesn't make a difference. The group that self-identifies as rednecks* is basically like any other subculture, if you dress the part, like the right music, and do the right activities, there isn't much else to do to make yourself "real." That's not to say that there isn't fighting about who is a real redneck (there is), but that's typical of most groups.
*So as to distinguish this usage from the usage that is just a slur for a poor white person in a rural area.
posted by Bulgaroktonos at 7:13 PM on June 6, 2013
the thing is i've never met a real redneck, and they're kinda an object of fetishization/facination.
Have you ever met a bogan? Same thing.
posted by Sys Rq at 7:46 PM on June 6, 2013
Have you ever met a bogan? Same thing.
posted by Sys Rq at 7:46 PM on June 6, 2013
the thing is i've never met a real redneck, and they're kinda an object of fetishization/facination.
Have you ever met a bogan? Same thing.
i try to avoid them, but there seem to be huge differences.. the slavery thing, for one. i grew up in the North, around Civil War graves.. i can't say i ever identified with a place that killed bogans ancestors
If he isn't, he's been playing the part long enough that it really doesn't make a difference. The group that self-identifies as rednecks* is basically like any other subculture, if you dress the part, like the right music, and do the right activities, there isn't much else to do to make yourself "real." That's not to say that there isn't fighting about who is a real redneck (there is), but that's typical of most groups.
for real? 'cause I kinda think that if I got really into country music (more than I already am) and wore the confederate flag and went to the South like my mate who thinks 'cause he likes country and the confeds he's a Southern we'd both get our asses kicked, both for our accents and the inauthenticity
but i get my knowledge of the South from songs like Jason Isbell's Outfit
posted by Charlemagne In Sweatpants at 8:09 PM on June 6, 2013 [1 favorite]
Rednecks are not a purely Southern thing. Here's a good David Cross bit about that.
We have plenty of rednecks in Canada, even.
posted by Sys Rq at 8:17 PM on June 6, 2013
We have plenty of rednecks in Canada, even.
posted by Sys Rq at 8:17 PM on June 6, 2013
We have plenty of rednecks in Canada, even.
Hell yeah we do. Just head up narth, or out of any major city for an hour or so.
Hell yeah we do. Just head up narth, or out of any major city for an hour or so.
Well it's 40 below and I don't give a fuckposted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 9:40 PM on June 6, 2013 [1 favorite]
Got a heater in my truck and I'm off to the rodeo
And it's allemande left and allemande right
Come on ya fuckin' dummy get your right step right
Get off the stage ya god damn fool, y'know
Piss me off
Fuckin' jerk
Get on my nerves
I don't get the "stop hating rednecks" stuff. Because almost every redneck I've ever known will remind me two to a thousand times day that "I'm a redneck it's mah culture y'all respect ma authoritah!"
They're proud of being ignorant. That's their right. If I point out that they're ignorant I am a) factually correct and b) making them feel better about themselves, so win-win.
Also, this cruise sounds like a nightmare. I like cheap beer and pool parties and bewbies, but I draw the line at Kid Rock.
posted by bardic at 11:31 PM on June 6, 2013
They're proud of being ignorant. That's their right. If I point out that they're ignorant I am a) factually correct and b) making them feel better about themselves, so win-win.
Also, this cruise sounds like a nightmare. I like cheap beer and pool parties and bewbies, but I draw the line at Kid Rock.
posted by bardic at 11:31 PM on June 6, 2013
"the immediate reaction was to make jokes at their expense"
If Drew Magary had gone on the, I dunno, Paul Krugman Librul Wonkfest cruise, I'd be the first in line making jokes about my fellow left-of-center peeps.
posted by bardic at 11:33 PM on June 6, 2013
If Drew Magary had gone on the, I dunno, Paul Krugman Librul Wonkfest cruise, I'd be the first in line making jokes about my fellow left-of-center peeps.
posted by bardic at 11:33 PM on June 6, 2013
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posted by GallonOfAlan at 7:11 AM on June 6, 2013 [2 favorites]