The Greatest Event in Television History!
June 7, 2013 4:52 PM   Subscribe

This is the Greatest Event in Television History (SLYT). Amy Poheler, Adam Scott, and Horatio Sanz re-create the opening credits to "Hart to Hart." Jeff Probst gives it a proper dramatic (and hilarious) introduction. (previously)
posted by Room 641-A (56 comments total) 14 users marked this as a favorite

 
In case your love for Amy Poheler AND Hart to Hart isn't as extreme as mine and therefore you didn't insist on fast forwarding to the actual credits recreation before you went to work today, the actual credits recreation starts here.

Also, though I'm already over Hollywood funding projects through Kickstarter, let the record show that I would do anything short of homicide* for a full reboot of Hart to Hart with Poheler and Scott.

(* Because when they met it was murder.)
posted by MCMikeNamara at 5:03 PM on June 7, 2013 [6 favorites]


One of my specialities is diarrhea

This was excellent.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 5:22 PM on June 7, 2013 [1 favorite]


I was recently rewatching Hart to Hart on Netflix and I have to say, it did not age well.
posted by jacquilynne at 5:38 PM on June 7, 2013


it did not age well.

Well how well did it fresh, really?
posted by Horace Rumpole at 5:39 PM on June 7, 2013 [6 favorites]


Honestly, I have no idea. I remember loving it when I was a kid, but I was also, like, 7 when it went off the air, so I can't imagine I really had more than a vague understanding of what was going on. It seems to consist almost entirely of sexual innuendo that was rewritten in order to be appropriate for viewing before the watershed, so none of it really makes any sense. And, I mean, if it doesn't make any sense to 36-year-old me, I can only imagine what 6-year-old me was getting out of the experience.
posted by jacquilynne at 5:42 PM on June 7, 2013 [1 favorite]


But don't you realize that the most glamorous part of being super rich is that you get to solve mysteries?!?
posted by MCMikeNamara at 5:49 PM on June 7, 2013 [7 favorites]


(What I mean is that Hart to Hart may not aged well but it was fantastic to a 7 year old gay boy from the sticks.)
posted by MCMikeNamara at 5:54 PM on June 7, 2013 [3 favorites]


I think a lot of us have unironically fond memories of the Simon & Simon title sequence (and its above-average Mike Post theme music), and all those shots were pretty much burned into our memories, which gave the original Greatest Event in Television History more a flavor of absurdist hyperbole than pure irony. Do some people feel the same way about Hart to Hart?
posted by George_Spiggott at 6:02 PM on June 7, 2013


And although it was nicely over the top, I think the star rivalry schtick here is a fairly obvious trope compared with the more inexplicable and deranged dynamic between Scott and Hamm in the S&S version.
posted by George_Spiggott at 6:12 PM on June 7, 2013 [3 favorites]


Hart to Hart was, in its way, some fantastic cheese. The Wagner/Powers chemistry was great and carried many, many nonsensical storylines. Most people, of course, don't know that Lionel Stander was a blacklisted actor, and spent much of his career in Europe -- I, uh, heartily recommend Polanski's Cul-de-Sac, which is (unlike some of his work) in English.

Anyway, Adam Scott sure does pull off a spot-on Wagner from certain angles. And wow, Horatio Sanz has aged well.
posted by dhartung at 6:13 PM on June 7, 2013 [4 favorites]


Do some people feel the same way about Hart to Hart?

It's possible that in high school some people may have removed the telephone handsets from their houses and drove around pretending to be Jonathan and Jennifer Hart talking on car phones, and those people might have genuinely fond memories of the show.
posted by Room 641-A at 6:15 PM on June 7, 2013 [17 favorites]


Is a recreation of the original Hawaii 5-0 sequence too much to ask for?
posted by Area Man at 6:23 PM on June 7, 2013 [3 favorites]


It's possible that in high school some people may have removed the telephone handsets from their houses and drove around pretending to be Jonathan and Jennifer Hart talking on car phones, and those people might have genuinely fond memories of the show.

If they did one of these for Dukes of Hazzard, my brain might melt with glee.

When I was in elementary school, my best friend and I invented an extra female cousin from out of town because there was only the one girl character. And then we would pretend that the glider on my swing set was Dixie, and the faster we got it moving, the faster we were driving. In our story lines we always had to go rescue Bo & Luke because they were kinda dumb and got into trouble a lot.
posted by jacquilynne at 6:24 PM on June 7, 2013 [4 favorites]


Is a recreation of the original Hawaii 5-0 sequence too much to ask for?

Better yet, for less well-known Lalo Schifrin goodness and way more star action shots, Mannix!

Starring Jon Hamm, with Teyonah Parris as Peggy.
posted by George_Spiggott at 6:33 PM on June 7, 2013 [3 favorites]


I'm sure that I must have seen that show but I don't remember it at all.
posted by octothorpe at 6:41 PM on June 7, 2013


Aw, fond memories of watching this with my mom. It was obviously just a Thin Man re-do, but at the time all I knew was that Mrs. Hart had pretty dresses.
posted by emjaybee at 6:48 PM on June 7, 2013


Man, they do NOT make TV credits like they used to. I guess they've got to sell more ads nowadays and there just isn't time.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 7:03 PM on June 7, 2013 [2 favorites]


Is a recreation of the original Hawaii 5-0 sequence too much to ask for?

Wasn't that mostly made up of b-roll footage of Waikiki, etc?
posted by ShutterBun at 7:03 PM on June 7, 2013 [1 favorite]


Quick error correction: "It was moiydur".
posted by panboi at 7:05 PM on June 7, 2013 [4 favorites]


Is a recreation of the original Hawaii 5-0 sequence too much to ask for?

No, what we need is a recreation of the Magnum P.I. sequence.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 7:35 PM on June 7, 2013


"Is a recreation of the original Hawaii 5-0 sequence too much to ask for?"

"No, what we need is a recreation of the Magnum P.I. sequence.
"

Apparently they are planning two more, titles to be decided: Talking to Adam Scott About 'The Greatest Event in Television History' and Other Stuff
posted by Room 641-A at 7:49 PM on June 7, 2013 [1 favorite]


ShutterBun: "Wasn't that mostly made up of b-roll footage of Waikiki, etc?"

From what I remember, it was entirely Hawaiian b-roll. Except for Jack Lord.

[obligatory]
posted by Sphinx at 7:56 PM on June 7, 2013 [2 favorites]


I vote for Rockford Files, starring Nathan Fillion!
posted by clone boulevard at 8:02 PM on June 7, 2013 [7 favorites]


EmpressCallipygos: “Is a recreation of the original Hawaii 5-0 sequence too much to ask for?

No, what we need is a recreation of the Magnum P.I. sequence.”
The Hawaii Five O reboot actually does a reasonably good job of updating the classic credits.

As for Magnum (Don't miss the side by side comparison.)

I loved Hart to Hart when I was a kid. Watching the credits the other night made me wonder how that could have been. I do have to say I liked the original Greatest Event better, but I think that's because I found the bickering between Poheler and Scott tedious.
posted by ob1quixote at 8:02 PM on June 7, 2013 [7 favorites]


Oh no, no, no, no, no, they've gotta do Baretta.
posted by droplet at 8:31 PM on June 7, 2013


Can we recreate the closing credits of Star Trek: TOS, MASH, or Airwolf?
posted by blue_beetle at 9:23 PM on June 7, 2013 [1 favorite]


Greatest American Hero or Knight Rider would be my choices. That delicious 80s cheese.
posted by vuron at 9:29 PM on June 7, 2013


See, I'm still a little too young to remember this show but this is the thing I think people should be happy about regarding aging: it was kinda boring to be young and not have any idea what was going on in the world. And not get most cultural references.

No seriously everyone stop wishing you were still 20. It wasn't that great. And being 20 forever would just be weird.

Ok it was great. But still, can't go on forever.
posted by sweetkid at 9:44 PM on June 7, 2013 [2 favorites]


I vote for Rockford Files, starring Nathan Fillion!

Well, his agent, Tom, is extremely interested in your idea, but he's so good at his job that Mr. Fillion has no availability. In fact,

"I've got Nathan pretty well tied up," Tom said fascinatedly.
posted by George_Spiggott at 10:02 PM on June 7, 2013 [1 favorite]


Man, being 7 and not understanding ANYTHING on TV was the best time of my life.

The best part was that I assumed that anything that didn't make sense must, somehow, through the power of You Are Too Young To Understand, be part of this whole hidden universe that someday would be revealed to me, when I was old enough.

Now I realize that most of it just never made any sense.
posted by Sara C. at 10:26 PM on June 7, 2013 [15 favorites]


Sara C at least we could totally get Punky Brewster
posted by sweetkid at 10:28 PM on June 7, 2013 [2 favorites]


Actually Punky Brewster is one of those shows I was just a smidge too young to really get. I "liked" it in the sense that it was about a girl, just like me, with, like, moxie and stuff, and really rad bandanas tied around her knees. But at this point I couldn't tell you anything about it or what happened in the episodes or any particular thing that made it good. People reminisce about that show and I'm just like "yeah, it was SO GOOD, right?!"
posted by Sara C. at 10:31 PM on June 7, 2013


The Small Wonder credits need a remake. Ms. Poehler is the right person for the job.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 10:51 PM on June 7, 2013 [1 favorite]


God, I love these. I mourn the loss of intro credits. And Probst is amusing enough for me to ignore how annoying he can be.

My brother pointed out to me that in the opening credits to Hawaii 5-0, when Jack Lord does his little spin to glare into the camera with steely crime-fighting determination, that the shot is actually reversed (in other words, he looked at the camera first and then spun to look at the horizon). I'd never noticed that before, but the wind whiffling through his hair is the giveaway.
posted by potsmokinghippieoverlord at 11:07 PM on June 7, 2013 [1 favorite]


Because of Hart to Hart, I have dreamed that one day my sweetheart will give me a diamond ring, so that I, too, can use it to cut glass to escape some trap. (Apparently the comedian Susan Calman saw the same episode as a kid, too, as she cited it as her inspiration for wanting a diamond ring).
posted by jb at 11:21 PM on June 7, 2013 [2 favorites]


i never realized but The Mod Squad title sequence, despite also being in the Lalo Schifrin Made Of Win Theme Music Club, is kind of WTF. The three leads are running away from something as if they're close to collapse from exhaustion. And/or really just really out of shape. That's it. But it redeems itself when Tige Andrews appears at :46. Top that, Jack Lord.
posted by George_Spiggott at 11:23 PM on June 7, 2013 [2 favorites]


In case MCMikeNamaras link didn't work for someone else, ffwd to 13 minutes for the actual credits.

That was awesome, I loved that show. I suspect I'm also in the "didnt really understand it fully" demographic, and I also suspect it might be better that way!
posted by Joh at 11:46 PM on June 7, 2013 [1 favorite]


Quincy ftw.
posted by zoo at 12:35 AM on June 8, 2013


You people are letting me down. Surely The Fall Guy is the pinnacle of 80s prime time opening credits. And Lee Majors sings the theme song!
posted by zardoz at 4:02 AM on June 8, 2013 [2 favorites]


Quincy, M.E. (albeit in German) linked here.

And speaking of not understanding things when one is small, I always remembered the credits as being way more menacing and scary - but I think that's entirely because of the clip of Jack Klugman starting an autopsy in front of the line of cops who all then pass out one by one. I think when I was seven I just processed that as a very bad and scary thing.

Then again, when I was seven I thought this opening credit sequence to be scary enough to make me run out of the room.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 4:06 AM on June 8, 2013 [3 favorites]


"Man, they do NOT make TV credits like they used to. I guess they've got to sell more ads nowadays and there just isn't time."

A while back I watched a compilation of late 1970s/early 1980s opening credits that somebody had put on Youtube. I was amazed by how long a lot of the credits were. There would be a little intro voice over, and then the music with some clips, and then the actual credits would start, and then each actor would get a little clip with its own freeze frame when their name came up, and then there would an outro voice over, and one last rapid-fire montage of clips. Comedies, dramas, sci-fi shows, mysteries... they all did this stuff. It seemed like every show had 3-5 minutes of opening titles, every freaking week!

Looking back at the pop culture of the era, a lot of it really was kind of weird and baffling. Stuff like Hart to Hart, The Love Boat and Fantasy Island didn't just seem weird because you were an easily-confused kid. That stuff was weird.
posted by Ursula Hitler at 5:15 AM on June 8, 2013


I always assumed that the long intro gave you time to get up, twist the knobs to get to the right channel, and then once you found it, adjust the rabbit ears so the signal was at its clearest.

"Kids don't know how good they have it."
posted by Golfhaus at 5:25 AM on June 8, 2013 [1 favorite]


I remember hearing an interview, I think on Fresh Air, with the dude who (among other things) wrote the theme song for Gilligan's Island. He said that the innovation there was to explain the premise of the show in the opening credits so they didn't have to waste time on exposition at the beginning of the actual episode.
posted by payoto at 6:06 AM on June 8, 2013


Also, there were quite a few tv show theme songs that were musical hits in their own right, like the themes from S.W.A.T. and Baretta. Friends is the last show to accomplish this that I can think of.

If they decide to change genres I suggest Perfect Strangers, with Adam Scott as Balki and Matthew Rhys (The Americans) playing the Mark Linn-Baker part.

> when Tige Andrews appears at :46

I see a Steve Carell cameo!
posted by Room 641-A at 6:24 AM on June 8, 2013


The Small Wonder credits need a remake. Ms. Poehler is the right person for the job.

Oh man, they should absolutely do this.... But actually get Billy Corgan (and/or Marilyn Manson, depending on your choice of urban legend) to play the son.
posted by graphnerd at 7:49 AM on June 8, 2013 [2 favorites]


It looks like they had fun making this. More fun than I had watching it.
posted by Zed at 7:53 AM on June 8, 2013 [1 favorite]


You are all mistaken. Their next project must be the recreation of the opening credits of "Hardcastle and McCormick" (but ONLY if they use the original theme song "Drive").

Starring Nick Offerman as retired judge Milton C. Hardcastle, firing a shotgun while wearing a bathrobe! And Adam Scott as ex-race car driver turned thief "Skid" Mark McCormick, driving his car under an 18-wheeler!

Also, who among us has not yearned to hear the dulcet tones of Jon Hamm saying, "McCormick has been placed in the judge's custody, and together they're going after 200 cases that walked out of Hardcastle's courtroom on technicalities"? 'Cause I know I sure have!
posted by Nat "King" Cole Porter Wagoner at 8:11 AM on June 8, 2013 [4 favorites]


Do I really have to be the first one linking TJ Hooker?

I counted 5 instances of a uniformed police person jumping onto a moving vehicle and 4 exploding vehicles. Plus, a topless Adrian Zmed with a headband, and a spunky Heather Locklear pointing her spunky little gun at nothing in particular. And kick-ass cop music.

This is the epitome of 80s Hollywood something something.
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 8:36 AM on June 8, 2013 [4 favorites]


What would be really funny is if the next one is for a series that isn't even over. And during the interview segments in the leadup, the producer is asked "tell me, what made you choose a series that's still on the air this time?", and from his reaction we realize that he's learning that for the first time.

Possibly they even hastily repurpose their efforts at that point to recreate a more appropriate series, and it's wildly off-base because they're using costumes, props, actors of the wrong age, gender and body type clearly meant for the first idea.
posted by George_Spiggott at 9:01 AM on June 8, 2013 [1 favorite]


Man Men, obviously.

I would totally watch Adam Scott falling down the side of a building to slinky 60's reminiscent music.
posted by Sara C. at 9:31 AM on June 8, 2013


Do I really have to be the first one linking TJ Hooker?

* lightbulb *

You know, they absolutely should do that, but they should keep William Shatner in his original role in the credits.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 9:49 AM on June 8, 2013 [3 favorites]


* second lightbulb *

With Leonard Nimoy replacing Richard Herd.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 9:50 AM on June 8, 2013 [1 favorite]


I suggest Perfect Strangers, with Adam Scott as Balki and Matthew Rhys (The Americans) playing the Mark Linn-Baker part.

Linn-Baker has made some of the best cameos since then, in Electric Company (wacky hypnotist) and Law & Order (Aspbergers-y serial killer). I am always happy to see him because despite the cheesy weirdness of Perfect Strangers, he's a pretty damn good actor.
posted by emjaybee at 11:55 AM on June 8, 2013


One of the great things that could only happen with the internet!
posted by rockinitoldskool at 12:39 PM on June 10, 2013


You may enjoy: someone made a video that compares the original to the remake side by side.

(And here's a side by side comparison of the Simon and Simon one.)
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 11:30 AM on June 13, 2013


You guys... They just did The Greatest Event In Television History and I didn't find out 'till now! Darnit.

So many awesome comments:


ob1quixote: "As for Magnum…Magnum… (Don't miss the side by side comparison.)"

Oh ob1quixote, you can't link to that without mentioning The Greatest Post In Metafilter History.

*


dhartung: "Most people, of course, don't know that Lionel Stander was a blacklisted actor, and spent much of his career in Europe"

I did not know that. Fascinating! Max was always the best character - and not because he was written that well, it was just from Stander's sheer coolness.

*


zardoz: "You people are letting me down. Surely The Fall Guy is the pinnacle of 80s prime time opening credits. And Lee Majors sings the theme song!"

I saw Lee Majors at a convention this spring! He was really cool. A fan asked him to sing the Fall Guy theme, and he got about fifteen seconds into it, but had to stop because his current wife was just offstage...

*


zoo: "Quincy ftw."

jacquilynne: "If they did one of these for Dukes of Hazzard, my brain might melt with glee."

YES!

*


Sara C.: "Man, being 7 and not understanding ANYTHING on TV was the best time of my life.

The best part was that I assumed that anything that didn't make sense must, somehow, through the power of You Are Too Young To Understand, be part of this whole hidden universe that someday would be revealed to me, when I was old enough.

Now I realize that most of it just never made any sense.
"


What? No, no, no, Sara C. Your seven year old self was spot on - it's just the world that changed. The early 80's was a wonderful time, kind of like the 70s (except nobody talked about the drugs they were still taking), when men could wear mustaches, women could spend all their time in bikinis, and nobody cared! All you needed was some kind of hook, like being a deadbeat PI, owning a mysterious island, being a wrongly convicted fugitive on the run, a proto-NASCAR driver - or as we see here, just being rich and married, and you could spend all your time solving mysteries! The 80s had robots, magic, UFOs, hundreds of previously unseen relatives that could drop in on you at any time, criminals that couldn't shoot to save their lives, and best of all, no problem that couldn't be solved in sixty minutes or less! Sure it might get bad at first, and then a bit worse every twenty minutes or so, but by the end of the hour good would always triumph and it was like the bad things never happened. A magical time.
posted by Kevin Street at 5:05 PM on June 18, 2013 [2 favorites]


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