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Meet Mr Balls
June 21, 2013 9:06 AM   Subscribe

Mr Balls is a happy mascot, and he's spreading the word in Brazil regarding testicular cancer. Outside of Brazil, there are songs, and another by Tom Green. Will Mr Balls be a greater spokesman than even Lance Armstrong? Long Live Senhor Testiculo!!!!!
posted by Eekacat (43 comments total) 4 users marked this as a favorite

 
This is nuts.
posted by GenjiandProust at 9:07 AM on June 21, 2013 [2 favorites]


oh god the hairs

why does it have teeth
posted by elizardbits at 9:08 AM on June 21, 2013 [9 favorites]


How many seats do you suppose Mr. Balls needs on the bus? Because, while raising awareness of testicle cancer is admirable, raising awareness of keeping your balls to yourself would be good, too. Mr. Balls could advocate for all sorts of things.
posted by GenjiandProust at 9:11 AM on June 21, 2013 [12 favorites]


I would have gone with Captain Cojones, but Mr. Balls is workmanlike and cromulent enough.
posted by planetesimal at 9:13 AM on June 21, 2013 [2 favorites]


Ed Balls
posted by avocet at 9:15 AM on June 21, 2013 [1 favorite]


Not my bag.
posted by jonmc at 9:18 AM on June 21, 2013 [2 favorites]


Will Mr Balls be a greater spokesman than even Lance Armstrong?

Well, they do both remind me more of illegal drugs than testicular cancer.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 9:21 AM on June 21, 2013 [3 favorites]


How many seats do you suppose Mr. Balls needs on the bus? Because, while raising awareness of testicle cancer is admirable, raising awareness of keeping your balls to yourself would be good, too. Mr. Balls could advocate for all sorts of things.

We already have a men are bad thread. Maybe we can have a men's health issues thread, too.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 9:29 AM on June 21, 2013 [2 favorites]


or, more likely, a thread joking about men's balls, which is also usually more fun to talk about than cancer
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 9:35 AM on June 21, 2013


How many seats do you suppose Mr. Balls needs on the bus?

something something lavaballing
posted by xbonesgt at 9:36 AM on June 21, 2013 [1 favorite]


Sometimes, Mr. Balls itches. Thankfully there are always friendly folks ready to offer a scratch

Children...no! RUN AWAY.
posted by eralclare at 9:48 AM on June 21, 2013 [1 favorite]


Sorry Brazil, but in the States, we've been doing our part to raise awareness of testicular cancer for quite some time now.
posted by klarck at 9:59 AM on June 21, 2013


You'll notice that trucknutz come in diamond plate now, you know, so you don't slip when you stomp on them.
posted by Teakettle at 10:05 AM on June 21, 2013 [1 favorite]


This close, they always look like landscape.
posted by Cookiebastard at 10:09 AM on June 21, 2013 [4 favorites]


Sorry Brazil, but in the States, we've been doing our part to raise awareness of testicular cancer for quite some time now.

Shouldn't they come individually then?
posted by The 10th Regiment of Foot at 10:10 AM on June 21, 2013 [1 favorite]


Spongebob, is that you?
posted by monospace at 10:14 AM on June 21, 2013


We already have a men are bad thread. Maybe we can have a men's health issues thread, too.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 5:29 PM on June 21


Do I detect a rare failure of the humour glands there, Mr. H? ;-)
posted by Decani at 10:15 AM on June 21, 2013


When I was a teenager, I had a ball cancer scare. Turned out to be just a little cyst, but I was already planning to get cube-shaped implants, in the case that the real ones were removed.
posted by orme at 10:16 AM on June 21, 2013 [2 favorites]


I was already planning to get cube-shaped implants

Where large, fuzzy dice still hang proudly
Like testicles
From rear-view mirrors
posted by phunniemee at 10:22 AM on June 21, 2013 [2 favorites]


The combination of the circular dead eyes, the cheeks, the smile that has 2 teeth, and the random hairs really creeps me out. Maybe it's on the edge of the uncanny valley, for both a human face and human balls.

On the other hand, Senhor Testiculo is really fun to say.
posted by Fig at 10:26 AM on June 21, 2013


IRFH is right, I went for the cheap shot. Testicle cancer is one of those things that doesn't seem to get caught early enough, since most guys aren't too great about doing self examinations.* Here's a resource page from the American Cancer Society. Do your self exams, guys!

* I realize I am just setting things up for another poser's** joke.

** I almost typed, member, but that's a little off-topic.
posted by GenjiandProust at 10:28 AM on June 21, 2013 [4 favorites]


I don't see this guy doing much work. He's just hanging around.
posted by armoir from antproof case at 10:48 AM on June 21, 2013 [2 favorites]


I feel bad for Mr. Balls. His neighbors are a dick and an asshole and he's always getting jerked around.
posted by codacorolla at 10:49 AM on June 21, 2013 [2 favorites]


Papa's got a brand new bag.
posted by armoir from antproof case at 10:55 AM on June 21, 2013


Testicular cancer is the most common cancer in males aged 20–39 years, the period of peak incidence. Luckily, unlike prostate cancer, Testicular cancer has one of the highest cure rates of all cancers: in excess of 90 percent overall; almost 100 percent if it has not spread (metastasized). More information, at Cancer.org. [on preview, thanks GenjiandProust, I'm going to leave my Canger.org link here, too, to double the chances that maybe someone will find it]

Unfortunately, this is a subject that is very difficult to actually talk about openly, because the jokes are easy - and even funny - and because men, by virtue of a few million years of bad behavior, have made their sexual aggression and ego issues into everybody's problem, which makes for a pretty unsympathetic plotline. I can't say that I think a dumb mascot is really conducive to taking the subject seriously, either, but I suppose that any improvement in education is still an improvement.

As for why I objected, it's partly because I think it's a subject worth discussing with at least some seriousness. And it's also because we don't want women's health threads to be polluted with lulzy derails, either (even when the links are to somewhat lulzy material).
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 10:55 AM on June 21, 2013 [3 favorites]


I prefer to call him Testicles (testi-cleez), the greek god of pain.
posted by OHenryPacey at 10:59 AM on June 21, 2013


Hmmm.. maybe testicular cancer is to blame for all these lavaball breakouts I've been hearing about lately..
posted by jeisme at 11:22 AM on June 21, 2013


IRFH is right, I went for the cheap shot. Testicle cancer is one of those things that doesn't seem to get caught early enough, since most guys aren't too great about doing self examinations.*
Seconding that, really, there should be some sort of advertising push toward male self-exam as there exists with women and breast cancer. My father-in-law underwent surgery and radiation treatment for testicular cancer back in the 1980s. He found the original "lump" not by self-exam but because he started feeling discomfort when sitting on his riding lawn mower. Luckily he went to the doctor right away and the tumor was caught when it was still small and the cancer had not spread.
posted by Oriole Adams at 11:39 AM on June 21, 2013 [2 favorites]


Why does he have to look so... crazed?
posted by cmoj at 11:42 AM on June 21, 2013 [1 favorite]


If your testicles develop eyes and teeth SEE A DOCTOR ASAP. The illustration is a bit deceiving - testicles are very sensitive and are prone to biting when they feel vulnerable or threatened. If that happens, the law might order them to be impounded and destroyed.
posted by louche mustachio at 11:42 AM on June 21, 2013 [2 favorites]


Brazil Nuts
posted by Kabanos at 11:45 AM on June 21, 2013 [2 favorites]


why does it have teeth

So that he can battle his arch enemy, Vagina Dentata.
posted by Kabanos at 11:46 AM on June 21, 2013 [1 favorite]


It's not truly a "cause" until it has a ribbon

posted by mmrtnt at 12:09 PM on June 21, 2013


I already made one. It's blue. Everybody loves my blue balls ribbons.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 12:11 PM on June 21, 2013 [5 favorites]


*slaps self on hand with ruler*
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 12:19 PM on June 21, 2013 [3 favorites]


Everybody loves my blue balls ribbons.

I ORDERED THESE SEVERAL DAYS AGO WHY DO THEY TAKE SO LONG TO SHIP???
posted by me & my monkey at 12:24 PM on June 21, 2013


Don't mock Senhor Testiculo; he's actually a literary scholar. His work on Balzac is considered definitive.
posted by GenjiandProust at 3:20 PM on June 21, 2013 [1 favorite]


Sigh. It's hard to be good; I suppose I deserve that ruler, too....
posted by GenjiandProust at 3:23 PM on June 21, 2013


I think it's a GREAT idea with somewhat questionable execution. One of the boys I used to be a nanny for developed testicular cancer when he was 20. Here is a lesson for you - one of his testicles was hurting and didn't feel right. He went to his doctor, who was ready to blow him off with a prescription for antibiotics, until he INSISTED on being referred for a ct scan. Bam. Tumor. Luckily his dad has big bucks and I think it was a matter of a day or two before they had him in at MD Anderson in Houston. The lesson is, post-puberty boys and young men, if you think there's something more wrong in the region that what the doctor thinks, make a great big noisy fuss until you know for sure.
posted by PuppyCat at 4:23 PM on June 21, 2013 [1 favorite]


Despite the fact that Mr Balls looks like something out of The Binding Of Isaac, it's always good to see awareness raising for checking yourself. Twenty years ago in the UK it seemed like you had to be lucky enough to catch James Whale's late night programme or just never hear any mention of it.
posted by comealongpole at 4:34 PM on June 21, 2013


Photos of Greek ‘Marbles’ Spotlight a Specific Part of the Male Anatomy
posted by homunculus at 5:00 PM on June 21, 2013


Well, we know who Mr. Balls is gonna visit if he ever comes to Japan.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 5:12 AM on June 22, 2013


Well, I did have a friend who developed health problems while overseas and did not seek help until the cancer had spread upward from his testicles to his kidneys, liver and lungs. He died in agony at 30. He was never told to do self-exams. I wonder often if that might have saved him. It sure as Hell would have been better than ignorance.

So I say, if a grotesque oversized scrotal effigy can get one dude to check for bumps, this silly effort is well worth it.
posted by kinnakeet at 6:18 PM on June 22, 2013


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