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Jobs
June 21, 2013 12:27 PM   Subscribe

Ashton Kutcher, one of the greatest actors of our time, in a new trailer for the forthcoming Jobs
posted by sgt.serenity (122 comments total) 5 users marked this as a favorite

 
"inspired by true events"

I guess that reads better than "bullshit we more or less made up"
posted by Pogo_Fuzzybutt at 12:35 PM on June 21, 2013 [8 favorites]


No. No. Shut up. This is like 'The Social Network' if that movie had been stupid and Hollywood-y in the worst way.

A big scene that demonstrates Jobs' genius by having some nebbish flunky whine that "typeface isn't a pressing issue" whereupon Jobs dramatically ejects him from the room? Come on. No.
posted by eugenen at 12:36 PM on June 21, 2013 [10 favorites]


In as far as it passed the "Do I see Ashton Kutcher or do I see Steve Jobs" test, this could work.
posted by vibrotronica at 12:39 PM on June 21, 2013 [4 favorites]


Inspired by the cool stories, ignoring the reality... we make a hero out of someone who was as human and flawed as the rest of us, by making his failings into his genius.
posted by MikeWarot at 12:40 PM on June 21, 2013 [7 favorites]


In as much as Jobs identified more with his adoptive family than his Arab-American heritage, won't this be an example of whitewashing?
posted by cendawanita at 12:41 PM on June 21, 2013 [6 favorites]


A big scene that demonstrates Jobs' genius by having some nebbish flunky whine that "typeface isn't a pressing issue" whereupon Jobs dramatically ejects him from the room? Come on. No.

Did you miss what looks to be an Eat Pray Love type montage of a trip to India becauseYES!YES!YES!
posted by Think_Long at 12:41 PM on June 21, 2013 [3 favorites]


This looks like a Saturday Night Live skit.
posted by davejay at 12:42 PM on June 21, 2013 [22 favorites]


Can't wait!
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 12:43 PM on June 21, 2013


So much so in fact that I expected Horatio Sans to run out and start pulling Ashton Kutcher away, so that the guy playing Steve Wozniak could should "they're trying to take our Jobs!"
posted by davejay at 12:44 PM on June 21, 2013 [27 favorites]


Did you miss what looks to be an Eat Pray Love type montage of a trip to India becauseYES!YES!YES!

nononononono
posted by sweetkid at 12:45 PM on June 21, 2013 [2 favorites]


Today I learned that Ashton Kutcher is one of the greatest actors of our time. Or that my irony-meter is broken.
posted by seemoreglass at 12:45 PM on June 21, 2013 [34 favorites]


Ashton Kutcher, one of the greatest actors of our time

Hilarious!
posted by tommasz at 12:45 PM on June 21, 2013 [8 favorites]


The music cracked me up more than it perhaps should have

and I like Macklemore
posted by pxe2000 at 12:47 PM on June 21, 2013 [1 favorite]


Well that was a thoroughly bland trailer. Sad how a bunch of people can spend years and millions of dollars creating a movie about Jobs and not incorporate a single of his ideas on design.
posted by Foci for Analysis at 12:47 PM on June 21, 2013 [5 favorites]


"Daddy PLEES COM HOME"

I am gonna hate watch the shit out of this one.
posted by Think_Long at 12:47 PM on June 21, 2013 [24 favorites]


Jobs and Wozniak in a bromance comedy centered on the Apple I, that I might watch.
posted by benzenedream at 12:47 PM on June 21, 2013 [20 favorites]


You were expecting a documentary, maybe?
posted by Longtime Listener at 12:50 PM on June 21, 2013 [3 favorites]


Think_Long: "I am gonna hate watch the shit out of this one."

That's actually my biggest problem with the trailer. It doesn't seem like it's a good movie but it also doesn't seem like it's bad enough to enjoy that way either.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 12:50 PM on June 21, 2013 [6 favorites]


one of the greatest actors of our time,

That was sarcasm, right?
posted by Seymour Zamboni at 12:50 PM on June 21, 2013 [4 favorites]


I was sort of amused by the attempts to match faces with real people. In that conference room scene I spotted a look-alike for Burrell Smith from the original Mac team. Was it on purpose? I was at Apple through the eighties and none of that looked familiar.
posted by njohnson23 at 12:53 PM on June 21, 2013 [3 favorites]


I'm sure there's some geeky, interesting things about huge corporations that make electronics on a global scale, but it doesn't translate well to a popcorn flick.

I think that's what Superman is for. There's a megalomaniac in that one, too right?


Superman is always fighting against some sort of megalomaniac.
posted by alex_skazat at 12:55 PM on June 21, 2013


Well, great. Now we all have to wait for the Bob Hope biopic.
posted by toxtethogrady at 12:56 PM on June 21, 2013 [3 favorites]


Coming summer 2014 . . .



< music cue: celli >



Just when you thought it was safe to go back to the cinema . . .



jOBS II . . .



Rated R . . .



"You're going to need a bigger boat . . ."


 
posted by Herodios at 12:56 PM on June 21, 2013 [3 favorites]


Like it or not, I think this movie's going to be a high performa!
posted by mintcake! at 12:58 PM on June 21, 2013 [5 favorites]


OK, sorry, this is some real pointless beanplating right here--talking about how a movie seems it will be, based on a trailer? Metafilter, what lofty, perceptive heights will you reach for next?

Seriously, let's wait for it to come out and then have fun hating on how bad it actually is.
posted by LooseFilter at 12:59 PM on June 21, 2013 [6 favorites]


Ashton Kutcher, one of the greatest actors of our time

Hilarious!


The "one of" qualifier, or the "of our time" qualifier?
posted by Etrigan at 12:59 PM on June 21, 2013


I can always rely on the Blue to provide my USDA recommended dose of cynicism and dismissivness.

The faster a (hagio)graphy gets in to the public discourse the better. Imagine if we'd had "Christ, the Movie" in, say, 90 A.D rather 400 years later, we might have a better understanding of what the heck was up with that guy anyway because people who were actually alive at the time could clue us in.
posted by digitalprimate at 12:59 PM on June 21, 2013


Ashton Kutcher, one of the greatest actors of our time

Hey now hold on. There's really no conversation here as long as Shia LeBouf continues to walk the earth.
posted by xmutex at 1:00 PM on June 21, 2013 [13 favorites]


BOy, that rap music really sells the film.
posted by Catblack at 1:04 PM on June 21, 2013 [1 favorite]


One more thing...

I really hope Charlie Sheen gets to replace Ashton for the Vivid XXX porn parody.

(it names itself)
posted by MCMikeNamara at 1:04 PM on June 21, 2013 [1 favorite]


Whatever happened the Aaron Sorkin Jobs movie based on the Isaacson book?
posted by octothorpe at 1:04 PM on June 21, 2013


Seriously, let's wait for it to come out and then have fun hating on how bad it actually is.

Waiting won't help the14-year old Foxconn workers who edited this thing.
posted by Hoopo at 1:05 PM on June 21, 2013 [4 favorites]


Is the hamburger tag missing?
posted by infini at 1:05 PM on June 21, 2013


I feel like there's got to be something to Ashton Kutcher because Mila Kunis is dating him. Also, he wanted to study biotechnology or something to try to find a cure for his brother's heart condition. He seems like a nice guy trapped under "celebrity creep" veneer.
posted by sweetkid at 1:07 PM on June 21, 2013 [5 favorites]


J.K Simmons is in it. It will be good.
posted by bondcliff at 1:10 PM on June 21, 2013 [3 favorites]


He seems like a nice guy trapped under "celebrity creep" veneer.

To be honest his appearances on Real Time with Bill Maher (I know) are surprising. He actually seems intelligent and fun.
posted by Hoopo at 1:10 PM on June 21, 2013


Too soon, and next time someone tries this (hopefully at least a few decades), try using some actual talent, instead of useless hacks. Blech.
posted by dbiedny at 1:11 PM on June 21, 2013


Hey guys, Microsoft already claimed that song.
posted by pencroft at 1:11 PM on June 21, 2013 [3 favorites]


Wow. That's.

That's really bad.
posted by eyeballkid at 1:13 PM on June 21, 2013



J.K Simmons is in it. It will be good.

Also Matthew Modine, who I have seen ride his bike around Soho in a manner that makes me worry for him.
posted by sweetkid at 1:13 PM on June 21, 2013 [3 favorites]


Y'all saw the parts where he screams, right? Because I saw parts where he screams.
posted by Navelgazer at 1:15 PM on June 21, 2013 [5 favorites]


Also Matthew Modine
...who I was convinced was Jeff Bridges.

I will never be a huge fan of Kutcher, but at least he had the sense to turn down the Broadway production of Fat Pig. Good for you, Kelso.
posted by pxe2000 at 1:16 PM on June 21, 2013 [1 favorite]


You will SHIT your pants!
posted by bukvich at 1:19 PM on June 21, 2013 [1 favorite]


The hardest part about the post was remembering not to spell it Kirchner, a real struggle. Producers, there may still be time to eject kirchnener and cgi this movie - jar jar binks is available.
posted by sgt.serenity at 1:19 PM on June 21, 2013


Hey guys, Microsoft already claimed that song.

I have it on good authority that this will be the trailer theme song to the Bill Gates biopic.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 1:21 PM on June 21, 2013 [3 favorites]


I’m just not sure who wants to see a movie like this. Then again, I don’t know why people wanted to see a Facebook movie, but apparently people did.
posted by bongo_x at 1:22 PM on June 21, 2013


Then again, I don’t know why people wanted to see a Facebook movie, but apparently people did.

My theory is it is the same sort of phenomenon as watching Jersey Shore or Real Housewives. Lately people seem to like to watch stuff about jerks.
posted by Hoopo at 1:25 PM on June 21, 2013 [1 favorite]


I have it on good authority that this will be the trailer theme song to the Bill Gates biopic.

Well said, although you cant lose playing bill gates, crap performance is because he's boring but making him interesting would be a triumph of l33t thespian skillz.
posted by sgt.serenity at 1:26 PM on June 21, 2013


For the last decade, we've been talking about how much this country needs jobs, and now that we're finally getting it, you people complain? There's just no satisfying America.
posted by Joey Michaels at 1:29 PM on June 21, 2013 [3 favorites]


Well, it looks better than the Google movie, so there's that.
posted by koeselitz at 1:29 PM on June 21, 2013 [2 favorites]


I’m just not sure who wants to see a movie like this. Then again, I don’t know why people wanted to see a Facebook movie, but apparently people did.

Because it was written by Aaron Sorkin and directed by David Fincher and was incisive and hilarious and sad and not really "a Facebook movie" anyway but a lot more than that.
posted by eugenen at 1:30 PM on June 21, 2013 [6 favorites]


What happened to Aaron Sorkin writing the Jobs movie screenplay?? or was that just a rumor?

The writer for this has 1 credit on IMDB. That credit is this movie

The writer was already an employee of the media company that the movie funder owns. That company publishes Signature Kitchens & Baths
posted by Bwithh at 1:30 PM on June 21, 2013 [11 favorites]


Oh, and this movie only cost $15million apparently ?!?!?
posted by Bwithh at 1:31 PM on June 21, 2013


oh wait, is Sorkin writing the Sony movie based on the authorized biography?
posted by Bwithh at 1:31 PM on June 21, 2013


Lately people seem to like to watch stuff about jerks.

Ralph Kramden was a jerk. Archie Bunker was worse. And don't get me started about that Old Testament God character.
posted by Etrigan at 1:36 PM on June 21, 2013 [4 favorites]


don't get me started about that Old Testament God character

Yeah but no one *likes* reading that
posted by Hoopo at 1:37 PM on June 21, 2013


If Blind Side can be nominated for best Picture that I guess this could too. Both seem about equally tuned in to reality.
posted by trojanhorse at 1:37 PM on June 21, 2013


This looks like a Saturday Night Live skit.
Came here to say the same thing. Guess I'll read the book.
posted by mecran01 at 1:43 PM on June 21, 2013


Ugh.
posted by Mister_A at 1:45 PM on June 21, 2013


Can we all just agree to skip this and watch Pirates of Silicon Valley again?
posted by sparklemotion at 1:49 PM on June 21, 2013 [19 favorites]


Well, great. Now we all have to wait for the Bob Hope biopic

Winner of the thread
posted by Potomac Avenue at 1:49 PM on June 21, 2013 [1 favorite]


bongo_x: "I’m just not sure who wants to see a movie like this. Then again, I don’t know why people wanted to see a Facebook movie, but apparently people did."

Look the reports show that it's the most popular coupon in the country, everyone uses it.
posted by wcfields at 1:51 PM on June 21, 2013 [7 favorites]


This may be better than Snakes on a plane for "movie so ridiculous I actually go to see it and realize its actually a 90 minute movie not just a series of hilarious memes."
posted by Potomac Avenue at 1:53 PM on June 21, 2013


The writer for this has 1 credit on IMDB. That credit is this movie

The writer was already an employee of the media company that the movie funder owns. That company publishes Signature Kitchens & Baths


This article has the background. The media company decided to produce / fund it themselves, and had one of their writers do a script. Then it got some press on the internet, someone sent the link to the director (who has previous credits), and he was interested and signed on. Then his agency also represents Kutcher, so that's how he ended up starring. Can't imagine that process created a winner of a script though.
posted by smackfu at 1:56 PM on June 21, 2013 [1 favorite]


Also, do people hate the Facebook movie because they hate Facebook, or something? I liked that movie.
posted by smackfu at 1:57 PM on June 21, 2013 [3 favorites]


"I’m just not sure who wants to see a movie like this. Then again, I don’t know why people wanted to see a Facebook movie, but apparently people did."

A movie about Steve Jobs and Apple's innovations would be fantastic. This movie about Steve Jobs and Apple's innovations, however, to put it mildly, does not seem to be that movie.
posted by xmutex at 2:00 PM on June 21, 2013 [2 favorites]


I will go see the Del Toro Mechs vs Monster Movie Mess twice and skip this.
posted by Mister_A at 2:07 PM on June 21, 2013


Because I just can't see that douchebag playing that asshole.
posted by Mister_A at 2:07 PM on June 21, 2013 [7 favorites]


You know what might be cool? If maybe someday there were a biopic about the genius co-founder of Apple named Steve.
posted by Zed at 2:13 PM on June 21, 2013


Don't have time to watch this, but I have one quick question: does Fred Armisen play Bill Gates in this?
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 2:15 PM on June 21, 2013 [1 favorite]


Is it just me, or does this commercial steal its emotional beats from another commercial? So meta! Windows inside windows!
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 2:15 PM on June 21, 2013


Don't have time to watch this, but I have one quick question: does Fred Armisen play Bill Gates in this?

The comments here are not universally effusively positive, so you must assume no.
posted by Navelgazer at 2:16 PM on June 21, 2013


Don't have time to watch this, but I have one quick question: does Carrie Brownstein play Bill Gates in this?
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 2:16 PM on June 21, 2013 [11 favorites]


one of the greatest actors of our time

This isn't really fair. He has plenty of time yet to mature and improve as an actor. Leonardo DiCaprio spent a lot of time on things like Growing Pains before he hit gold with The Departed et al.
posted by Brocktoon at 2:20 PM on June 21, 2013


smackfu: "Also, do people hate the Facebook movie because they hate Facebook, or something? I liked that movie."

I liked parts of it but it had some really terrible screenwritery crap in it, like the whole invented girlfriend as motivation stuff.
posted by octothorpe at 2:24 PM on June 21, 2013


I'll wait for the Asylum mockbuster rip-off of this. It might have dinosaurs in it.
posted by Jimbob at 2:28 PM on June 21, 2013


I'll wait for the Asylum mockbuster rip-off of this. It might have dinosaurs in it.

I'd rather see that in theaters than the movie as presented in this trailer.
posted by sparkletone at 2:30 PM on June 21, 2013


>Leonardo DiCaprio spent a lot of time on things like Growing Pains before he hit gold with The Departed et al.

Leonardo DiCaprio's second movie was What's Eating Gilbert Grape in 1993. He was nominated for a Best Support Actor Oscar, and he was brilliant.
posted by Sing Or Swim at 2:30 PM on June 21, 2013 [10 favorites]


Jobs: Dude, where's my MacBook Pro?
Wozniak: Where's your MacBook Pro dude?
Jobs: DUDE, where's my MacBook Pro?
Wozniak: Where's your MacBook Pro dude?
posted by Nanukthedog at 2:31 PM on June 21, 2013 [3 favorites]


I'm going to wait for the version with the Only True Fake Steve Jobs, Demetri Martin.
posted by Room 641-A at 2:32 PM on June 21, 2013 [2 favorites]


This looks like a Saturday Night Live skit.

Funny you should say that. There was a parody film released this year in April called iSteve. It stars the Mac Guy as Steve Jobs. And was written by a former SNL writer.
posted by FJT at 2:44 PM on June 21, 2013


I expected Horatio Sans to run out and start pulling Ashton Kutcher away

Comic Sans
posted by zippy at 2:45 PM on June 21, 2013 [11 favorites]


I liked parts of it but it had some really terrible screenwritery crap in it, like the whole invented girlfriend as motivation stuff.

Yeah a lot of people really like Aaron Sorkin's writing, but for me his dialog makes me go HRNHNYRGH SHUT YOUR FACE at the screen, especially The Newsroom HRNHNYRGH
posted by Hoopo at 2:51 PM on June 21, 2013 [4 favorites]


The faster a (hagio)graphy gets in to the public discourse the better. Imagine if we'd had "Christ, the Movie" in, say, 90 A.D rather 400 years later, we might have a better understanding of what the heck was up with that guy anyway because people who were actually alive at the time could clue us in.


I can't believe this thread skipped merrily right past this little remark, because did you seriously just compare Steve Jobs to Jesus?
posted by Diablevert at 3:07 PM on June 21, 2013 [5 favorites]


A post set up to bring out the sarcasm, snark, derision and cynicism of quite a few posters. Seriously, why post and for what purpose. This is not the best of the web nor has it brought out the best in the responders.
posted by rmhsinc at 3:13 PM on June 21, 2013 [1 favorite]


Huh, I kind of liked that a lot, I've already heard most of the stories that appear in the trailer as bits, I think this could actually be ok as a movie.
posted by mathowie at 3:20 PM on June 21, 2013 [1 favorite]


That is NOT Reed College. The alumni office is going to shit a bunch of bricks when they see this.
posted by ethnomethodologist at 3:21 PM on June 21, 2013 [4 favorites]


They should skip all the boring corporate stuff and focus on the Homebrew Computer Club.

Woz soldering feverishly on his boards to make them work before the next meeting. People camped outside the Altair offices. Bill Gate's Basic , and subsequent open letter to hobbyists.

Make it a documentary. Actually is there already a documentary?

Also they should do a Real Genius style movie about the TMRC. Late night lock picking, Chinese menu hacking.

Why they always gotta make this stuff about Steve Jobs.
posted by Ad hominem at 3:32 PM on June 21, 2013


I feel like there's got to be something to Ashton Kutcher because Mila Kunis is dating him.

Wait, what? That '70s Show was cancelled a long time ago, wasn't it?

Does this mean Macauley Culkin and Demi Moore are a thing now? Is that how it works?
posted by Sys Rq at 3:34 PM on June 21, 2013 [1 favorite]


Yeah sorry, this reminded me too of "Dude where's my apple" -- I just can't take him seriously. (Same is true with Leonardo. Loved him in "The Departed" but I just can't see him as a fully realized adult.)
posted by flyingsquirrel at 3:34 PM on June 21, 2013 [1 favorite]


Wait, what? That '70s Show was cancelled a long time ago, wasn't it?

Yea but she's dating him in the reals. Like in the last year or so it started
posted by sweetkid at 3:42 PM on June 21, 2013


So, who's going to be playing Johnny Cash and Bob Hope?
posted by trunk muffins at 3:43 PM on June 21, 2013 [1 favorite]


My favorite part of this was the fact that a Google ad played just before the trailer started.
posted by BigBrooklyn at 3:46 PM on June 21, 2013 [2 favorites]


I feel like there's got to be something to Ashton Kutcher because Mila Kunis is dating him.

Also he was born in February 1978 which was when all the best people were born so
posted by sweetkid at 3:49 PM on June 21, 2013 [1 favorite]


Wait, is Kutcher a douchebag? I mean, he's like a Keanu Reeves kind of actor, but that doesn't make him a bad person. Mel Gibson is a douchebag. Donald Trump is a douchebag. Let's preserve the use of that word for the genuine douchebags, so the word doesn't lose its power and significance.
posted by tripping daisy at 4:52 PM on June 21, 2013 [12 favorites]


I'm waiting for the Hypercard version
posted by ouke at 5:02 PM on June 21, 2013 [7 favorites]


Don't have time to watch this.

But now, thanks to this trailer, you kind of have, given that it shows almost every major plot point and character arc that appears in the movie.
posted by Omon Ra at 5:30 PM on June 21, 2013


That is NOT Reed College. The alumni office is going to shit a bunch of bricks when they see this.

I was thinking maybe that shot takes place after he moves down to the Bay Area, as no it is definitely nothing like it.
posted by snuffleupagus at 5:40 PM on June 21, 2013


A big scene that demonstrates Jobs' genius by having some nebbish flunky whine that "typeface isn't a pressing issue" whereupon Jobs dramatically ejects him from the room? Come on. No.
posted by DU at 5:43 PM on June 21, 2013


Ashton Kutcher, one of the greatest actors of our time

Hilarious!

The "one of" qualifier, or the "of our time" qualifier?


Yes.
posted by tommasz at 5:46 PM on June 21, 2013



Wait, is Kutcher a douchebag? I mean, he's like a Keanu Reeves kind of actor, but that doesn't make him a bad person. Mel Gibson is a douchebag. Donald Trump is a douchebag. Let's preserve the use of that word for the genuine douchebags, so the word doesn't lose its power and significance.

I dunno only one person used that word besides you and it's not a great word to use in any case
posted by sweetkid at 6:15 PM on June 21, 2013


Leonardo DiCaprio's second movie was What's Eating Gilbert Grape in 1993. He was nominated for a Best Support Actor Oscar, and he was brilliant.

Actually it was his fourth movie, after Critters 3, Poison Ivy, and This Boy's Life. And after 23 episodes on Growing Pains and 5 on Santa Barbara. He lost the Oscar to Tommy Lee Jones in "The Fugitive", which makes sense, as that performance was clearly more inspired than his, I think we can agree. But let's not let these minor details, and the consistent assessments of the Academy, derail your loathing.
posted by Brocktoon at 6:41 PM on June 21, 2013 [1 favorite]


I've seen this movie! The final cut! It's terrible!

I don't mean terrible in the sense of reasonable people could disagree. I mean jaw-droppingly, after-school-special level bad. Everything: the script, the casting, the acting, the pacing, the audio mix. *Everything.*

(I really could not understand why they cast Ashton Kutcher. He's well know for playing amiable dim surfer dude types and Steve Jobs was the opposite. So weird.)
posted by Susan PG at 6:48 PM on June 21, 2013 [7 favorites]


This looks like a Saturday Night Live skit.

And we all know how fabulously bad SNL movies usually are. Comedy is very difficult to make and all indications are this movie will be a comedy. Biopics are pretty difficult to make as well so you need a very good writer or writers, director, etc. But you don't need any of those things to make money with a popular figure as the focus. Everyone knows it won't be close to the quality of a documentary but even documentaries can be awful (as a Formula 1 fan I thought Senna was horrible, but I held off spending money on it until it was on Netflix). It made him into some sort of idiot savant who was preyed upon by cruel people all around him. Complete bullshit. I suspect people who have any interest in Jobs will feel the same with this, but it remains to be seen.

I laugh aloud whenever I hear the story of one guy who had a meeting with Jobs that didn't end when they parted company in the building, but continued with Jobs yelling at him from his office window as he strolled to his car. If it's like that, it might just work.
posted by juiceCake at 7:07 PM on June 21, 2013


the guy playing Steve Wozniak

IMDB credits him as Josh Gad but I was completely sure it would turn out to be Jack Black. Which, in truth, might have made this awful looking thing better
posted by anastasiav at 7:10 PM on June 21, 2013 [1 favorite]


all indications are this movie will be a comedy

You think? Looks to me like it'll be Kutcher's most futile crack at "serious" acting since The Butterfly Effect.
posted by Sys Rq at 7:39 PM on June 21, 2013 [1 favorite]


Oh my.
posted by mazola at 7:54 PM on June 21, 2013


Steve Jobs is such a repulsive personality that Ashton Kutcher's portrayal will be so generous that it will make Abraham Lincoln look like Steve Jobs.

Given Kutcher's admirers I'm hoping someone will do a pornographic parody entitled "Insanely Straight"

I also hope for a cameo from dogcow.

The important thing is that I won't see it.
posted by Teakettle at 8:05 PM on June 21, 2013


I would watch a movie starring Abraham Lincoln as Steve Jobs.
posted by mazola at 9:52 PM on June 21, 2013 [3 favorites]


Since the Facebook movie has been brought up a few times, check out the first official trailer to The Social Network for comparison.

Jesse Eisenberg was perfect for that role. /derail
posted by fatehunter at 9:55 PM on June 21, 2013 [3 favorites]


Ugh. So The Social Network totally misportrayed Mark Zuckerberg and I would rather see the movie about the guy who genuinely believes that Facebook represents a move away from consumerist desires and shallow capitalism but makes the mistake of not realizing that he's built a new desire to consume IDENTITY, but that's okay. Mark Zuckerberg is young and alive. There will be time to revise his story after Facebook either go up in flames or burns the world to a crisp. Also he is a relatively small fly in the face of things.

But Steve Jobs. Come on. Steve Jobs pretty much created two separate aesthetics at two different times that each helped to define their respective eras. And his SPECIFIC contribution to everything was understanding that changing the world is fundamentally an aesthetic act—the role models everybody looks up to are icons, rather than merely revolutionaries. In fact, "iconic" as a word and a term probably captures Steve Jobs better than any other—the obsession with symbolic representation. Even the evolution of the icon as iOS launched, which continues to define iOS as a device to the point where Apple's probably suing people whose rectangles are that amount of curved. (Did that already happen? That might have already happened.)

Jobs was a brilliant, brilliant, brilliant man whose chief genius was also his chief flaw. His obsession with creating iconography, symbols which were so flat and simple the entire world could pick them up and act like they were understandable, was also the drive that led him to completely torment his employees, to lie to his closest friends, and several times to drive his company in a direction that could have completely ruined it. Jobs as a visionary in the sense that he understood how other people see the world, and he specialized in creating things the way other people wanted to see them. And he understood this down to very deep levels of engineering, design, and concept. For all their flaws, my Mac products generally feel and behave in extraordinarily satisfying ways. And it's so convenient for me that they do so that I've willingly sacrificed an amount of control and freedom and openness to keep it around.

Fundamental to his way of thinking was the notion that computers, and creative systems in general, could transform lives for the better. That creativity ITSELF was what improved people. While computers have drained away as much productivity as anything else in history, I don't think Jobs' vision was as flawed as, say, Zuckerberg's. He had a genuine insight and he executed the shit out of it—never perfectly, but well enough that a lot of artists and producers and creative minds in general owe him a big debt. I know I do. Anyway, it was always about more than pure idealism for him. It was creating something pragmatic to fulfill an ideal. And that cynicism within the idealism, combined with the fact that Jobs was, in fact, SO idealistic that he found it hard to accept it when his idea of what the world should be failed to match up with the way the world actually was.

That's the Jobs that I want to see portrayed dramatically. It wouldn't even be a hard adaptation: the man was more theatrical than just about anybody else in the tech world. But that mixture is key. The constant pushing forward, mixed with the realist perspective that the world is complicated and shitty and difficult, mixed with an anger streak that occasionally made him say, "Fuck the world, I should be right. No, I AM right." The kind of hubris that defines a tragic hero, only mixed with the spiritual Jobsian twist that he realized his own errors, and made a comeback, and died having seen the world changed to suit his vision. The reality distortion field partly made reality. And he ultimately died partly due to his stubborn belief in alternative medicine, but he died surrounded by family and his last words were: "Oh wow. Oh wow. Oh wow."

Maybe it's just that Jobs is one of my major role models and that his life generally gives me hope that a flawed, angry, ambitious person can overcome his own deficiencies and do something good for the world, but it bugs me that this movie looks so godddamn trite, so inaccurate. Jobs specialized in things which broadcast feel-good feelings but which were deep enough that the feel-good lasted for longer than just a moment. To make a movie that captures the surface and none of the interior is to do precisely that which Jobs hated. And what hurts is he isn't even alive to call the film's creators and call them all opportunistic motherfuckers to their face.
posted by Rory Marinich at 10:29 PM on June 21, 2013 [14 favorites]


Ashton Kutcher, one of the greatest actors of our time.
posted by saul wright at 11:49 PM on June 21, 2013


Don't have time to watch this, but I have one quick question: does Fred Armisen play Bill Gates in this?


I got confused and thought you were talking about Fred Willard for a second, and was like, Hollywood needs to get this guy on the line, because dang
posted by rollick at 1:38 AM on June 22, 2013 [2 favorites]


I think Steve Jobs would have loved this.
posted by mazola at 6:37 AM on June 22, 2013 [2 favorites]


Wozniak on Jobs' Biopic: 'Young Steve Wasn't a Saint'
posted by homunculus at 12:45 PM on June 22, 2013 [1 favorite]


"IT ONLY TAKES ONE PERSON... TO START A REVOLUTION."

No, it doesn't.

Rory, you reminded me of a funny piece by Umberto Eco:
I asked above whether fountain pens were Protestant. Insufficient consideration has been given to the new underground religious war which is modifying the modern world. It's an old idea of mine, but I find that whenever I tell people about it they immediately agree with me.

The fact is that the world is divided between users of the Macintosh computer and users of MS-DOS compatible computers. I am firmly of the opinion that the Macintosh is Catholic and that DOS is Protestant. Indeed, the Macintosh is counter-reformist and has been influenced by the ratio studiorum of the Jesuits. It is cheerful, friendly, conciliatory; it tells the faithful how they must proceed step by step to reach -- if not the kingdom of Heaven -- the moment in which their document is printed. It is catechistic: The essence of revelation is dealt with via simple formulae and sumptuous icons. Everyone has a right to salvation.

DOS is Protestant, or even Calvinistic. It allows free interpretation of scripture, demands difficult personal decisions, imposes a subtle hermeneutics upon the user, and takes for granted the idea that not all can achieve salvation. To make the system work you need to interpret the program yourself: Far away from the baroque community of revelers, the user is closed within the loneliness of his own inner torment.

You may object that, with the passage to Windows, the DOS universe has come to resemble more closely the counter-reformist tolerance of the Macintosh. It's true: Windows represents an Anglican-style schism, big ceremonies in the cathedral, but there is always the possibility of a return to DOS to change things in accordance with bizarre decisions: When it comes down to it, you can decide to ordain women and gays if you want to.

Naturally, the Catholicism and Protestantism of the two systems have nothing to do with the cultural and religious positions of their users. One may wonder whether, as time goes by, the use of one system rather than another leads to profound inner changes. Can you use DOS and be a Vande supporter? And more: Would Celine have written using Word, WordPerfect, or Wordstar? Would Descartes have programmed in Pascal?
posted by mbrock at 7:16 AM on June 23, 2013 [6 favorites]


Comic Sans
posted by zippy at 5:45 PM on June 21


This is what that scene where Jobs tells that guy to "get out" over typeface is about.
posted by Uther Bentrazor at 8:55 PM on June 23, 2013


Since a very large number of posters seem very much confident that Ashton Kutcher is not one of the greatest actors of our time, would those selfsame people be willing to bring up a list of who they think the greatest actors of our time (preferably, those who are between 30 and 40 years old, as Mr. Kutcher is 35) are?

It's certainly not a crime to have an opinion, but I see a lot of rather low-content comments based on a trailer and the story of how a movie was produced, instead of, say, the movie itself, and I'm curious what we're comparing Mister Kutcher to.
posted by Han Tzu at 2:51 AM on June 24, 2013


I don't know about the "greatest actors of our time," but there are undoubtedly much, much better actors in that age range.

Philip Seymour Hoffman is 45 -- so was 40 when Kutcher was 30. Capote came out in 2005 -- he would have been around 37 years old. Could there be a greater gulf?

Elijah Wood is 31.

Joshua Gordon Levitt is 32.

Jake Gyllenhall is 32.

Leonardo DiCaprio is 38.

Joaquin Phoenix is 40 (I think).

I'm sure I'm missing people. The point is that Kutcher's cool-kid assholish charm and sex appeal does not make him anything more than a bankable personality. It certainly doesn't make him an actor, let alone "one of the greatest actors of our time."

IN A WORLD...THAT SLOPPILY RETELLS THINGS YOU CARE ABOUT.....ONE MAN WAS SURE TO MAKE US MONEY IF CAST.
posted by snuffleupagus at 5:17 AM on June 24, 2013


And someone should tell Umberto Eco about Linux.
(Yes, yes, I gather he wrote that some time during the Win3.1 or '98 era.)
posted by snuffleupagus at 5:26 AM on June 24, 2013 [1 favorite]


Joshua Gordon Levitt is 32.

Joseph. /teenage crush
posted by Sys Rq at 5:38 AM on June 24, 2013 [1 favorite]


Too right. How did I do that? /coffee
posted by snuffleupagus at 5:49 AM on June 24, 2013


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