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It's all right hair.
June 24, 2013 8:24 PM   Subscribe

Hair Apparent. A collection of punny hair salon names.
posted by curious nu (85 comments total) 9 users marked this as a favorite

 
See also: Terrible Names For Hair Salons
posted by dephlogisticated at 8:38 PM on June 24, 2013 [1 favorite]


One local shoppe is Curl Up and Dye.
posted by Repack Rider at 8:43 PM on June 24, 2013 [11 favorites]


I love punny store names. A few of my favourites off the top of my head:

Casual Tees (a t-shirt store)
Kiln Time (DIY pottery)
Of Courts (tennis)
Sofa So Good
The Merchant Of Tennis
The New Trish Inn (a vegan restaurant run by a woman named Trish)
posted by The Card Cheat at 8:44 PM on June 24, 2013 [4 favorites]


A men's haircut in Bushwick costs $35-$45?
Baldness has its privileges.
posted by Flashman at 8:46 PM on June 24, 2013


I dunno, it's hard to beat "Sideburns on Burnside."
posted by redsparkler at 8:47 PM on June 24, 2013 [4 favorites]


I'm within walking distance of Hairi Kari and Best Little Hair House. (I live in an area where there are about 30 salons within walking distance of my house.)
posted by fluffy battle kitten at 8:48 PM on June 24, 2013



One local shoppe is Curl Up and Dye.



I was gonna say, this blog must be pretty new if that one isn't represented yet.


I have also seen a grooming salon named Doggy Styles, which should somehow qualify.

The salon that cracks me up the most is Do Me Nails. Not hair, but it should also somehow qualify.
posted by louche mustachio at 8:48 PM on June 24, 2013


The bail bonds place that prints your documents on rice paper: Edible Arraignments.
posted by RobotVoodooPower at 8:49 PM on June 24, 2013 [6 favorites]


When I was a kid, I used to get my hair cut at a place in Albany, CA called "Sculpting Friendships in hair." I remember my Dad calling to make appointments and closing his eyes and shaking his head when someone answered the phone with the name of the place.
posted by ORthey at 8:54 PM on June 24, 2013 [3 favorites]


Where's the Best Little Hairhouse?
posted by pineappleheart at 8:55 PM on June 24, 2013 [3 favorites]


In Murfreesboro, TN, there is a barbershop entitled "In His Image Cuts."

I like to imagine it's all just dudes with shoulder-length blow-dry mullets and trimmed beards.
posted by grabbingsand at 8:58 PM on June 24, 2013 [2 favorites]


It's not really a pun or anything clever, but I'm pretty sure my first culture shock came, after about four years of living in Japan, when I found a hair salon in Kamakura named "SPIC."

That same day, I found a "Bar Hitler" out on the beach.
posted by GoingToShopping at 9:03 PM on June 24, 2013


Missing: "Totally Clips"
posted by ndfine at 9:06 PM on June 24, 2013 [3 favorites]


I live a couple streets over from The Wig Party.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 9:10 PM on June 24, 2013 [5 favorites]


My grandmother got her haircut at Mane Attraction and it was funny to us EVERY TIME.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 9:10 PM on June 24, 2013 [2 favorites]


There's a nail place in the Castro (San Francisco's gay district) called Hand Job.
posted by mollymayhem at 9:17 PM on June 24, 2013 [1 favorite]


In Wilson NC, at least, about an hour outside Raleigh, you at least used too be able to find a combination beauty shop and storefront church called "The Hair Ministry." (Changed its name by the time the linked photo was taken, but ... same concept.) It is, or was, catty-cornered across from the Amtrak station there, which is how I found out about it. Still upset that I did not have a working camera with me, especially since the place had stuffed animals all stuck halfway up its storefront. But I called a friend about it to describe the place and share the mirth.
posted by raysmj at 9:21 PM on June 24, 2013


Hair Today. Gone Tomorrow.
posted by twoleftfeet at 9:24 PM on June 24, 2013 [1 favorite]


Points off for not including the Hollywood salon Hairroin.
posted by mirepoix at 9:42 PM on June 24, 2013


Those Bushwick prices are pretty reasonable for New York, actually. I was regularly paying $80 for a women's short haircut at one point. It wasn't even that fancy of a place, either.

Here in Los Angeles I've been going to Rock Paper Scissors. Or maybe it's called Rock Paper Salon? Either way, thumbs up on the name.
posted by Sara C. at 9:44 PM on June 24, 2013


Hairsay
posted by 5_13_23_42_69_666 at 9:44 PM on June 24, 2013


Almost every single hair salon I've ever seen has a pun name. They are like ska bands.
posted by damehex at 9:48 PM on June 24, 2013 [5 favorites]


Shear Wizards
posted by drzz at 9:51 PM on June 24, 2013


Sara C, I'm pretty sure it's Paper Scissors Rock, if it's in Venice. I went there for a while!

Word has it that it might close, sadly.
posted by flaterik at 9:54 PM on June 24, 2013


London, Ontario, Canada, where I was born, has a "salon" called "Hair Force One" that I went past every day on the way to school for some ten years. I always wondered, once I eventually learned the name of his plane, when the President of the United States had visited my hometown.
posted by Catchfire at 9:56 PM on June 24, 2013


No, my place is in Echo Park, and it's definitely Rock Paper Something.
posted by Sara C. at 10:01 PM on June 24, 2013


For a while in New York I went to Hair Metal, too.

Takeaway: If you want to cut my hair, you better name your salon after a genre of music.
posted by Sara C. at 10:02 PM on June 24, 2013


My salon of choice in L.A. is called Goo -- not a musical genre, but a great album by a great band.
posted by mirepoix at 10:05 PM on June 24, 2013


I'm still waiting for the geniuses that brought the world Topless Coffee Shops to branch out into the Barbering profession, and open an establishment called "A Little Off The Top".
posted by radwolf76 at 10:06 PM on June 24, 2013 [1 favorite]


We need one of these for Thai restaurants. What makes a particular kind of business do this?
posted by montag2k at 10:11 PM on June 24, 2013


For some reason punny salon/barbershop names raise my hackles, make me angry. But normally-named places crack me the fuck up. Like Joseph's New Man Hair Hair Replacement.
posted by carsonb at 10:15 PM on June 24, 2013


A Cut Above (my dad's old salon) fed and housed my family for decades. I'll never argue with a punny name.

My favorite clever salon name, though, is not a pun: in San Francisco there's one called Every 6 Weeks.
posted by feckless at 10:41 PM on June 24, 2013


There's a chippy called "A salt and battery"

This is my favourite punny title.
posted by zoo at 11:37 PM on June 24, 2013


There's a noodle bar in London called "Phat Phuc".
posted by Decani at 12:07 AM on June 25, 2013 [4 favorites]


I always liked (the sign, anyway) for this one in downtown Portland. This is gone now, right?
posted by klausman at 12:09 AM on June 25, 2013


No "Hairport" for salon next to an airport? What the hell?
posted by efalk at 12:43 AM on June 25, 2013 [2 favorites]


Kosher deli/hair salon idea: Flowing Lox
posted by Doleful Creature at 12:47 AM on June 25, 2013


No "Hairport" for salon next to an airport? What the hell?

As a kid I used to get my hair cut at a place called Hairport! I have no idea why they named it that. Nearest airport was like 15 miles away.
posted by orme at 1:52 AM on June 25, 2013


Via Aussie comedian Felicity Ward: a Pakistani butchery called "halal, is it meat you're Looking For".
posted by MartinWisse at 1:59 AM on June 25, 2013


Linguistically speaking, it's unusual that "hair" is the dominant plural over "hairs." If you say "I got my hair cut" it's a bigger deal than if you say "I had hairs cut."
posted by twoleftfeet at 2:39 AM on June 25, 2013


Don't all hair dressing salons have punny names? Like Thai restaurants - you can't be in business without one.
posted by Mario Speedwagon at 2:45 AM on June 25, 2013


"Dressing" is a verb only applied to hair and salad.
posted by twoleftfeet at 2:52 AM on June 25, 2013


> What makes a particular kind of business do this?

My theory is that they're all run by dads.

Our local barber is called Hair Male, it's workable.
posted by lucidium at 2:54 AM on June 25, 2013 [1 favorite]


I'm a big fan of nostril topiary. My nose hairs are sculpted to look like Greek statuary. But maybe everybody doesn't do this.
posted by twoleftfeet at 2:59 AM on June 25, 2013


"Dressing" is a verb only applied to hair and salad.

I'm dressing to the left.
posted by Wolof at 3:33 AM on June 25, 2013 [2 favorites]


There used to be a Vietnamese restaurant in Vegas called Pho Chien. Right next door to a veterinarian, no less.
posted by spitbull at 3:33 AM on June 25, 2013 [1 favorite]


I'm dressing the frets on this mannequin.
posted by Wolof at 3:33 AM on June 25, 2013


My wife and I (to no avail) kept trying to get our friend Victor to rename his salon to Vicky Sue's House of Big Hair as a sort of tribute to Ann Richards...
posted by jim in austin at 3:43 AM on June 25, 2013


Hairy Shearers
posted by dgaicun at 3:59 AM on June 25, 2013 [2 favorites]


I was never really sure about the name of this hair salon.
posted by A Thousand Baited Hooks at 4:09 AM on June 25, 2013


There's a clothing shop for young'uns in Glasgow that rejoices beneath the banner of Wean's World.

Tangentially, I was on the top deck of a bus going through Catford some years ago and could have sworn I passed a combined 24-hour furnitre stripping workshop and dog-grooming parlour. I cherish the thought that it actually exists and was not some sort of fever dream.
posted by aesop at 4:11 AM on June 25, 2013 [1 favorite]


Kiln Time (DIY pottery)

The idea being to signal that they don't know anything about pottery, including how to even pronounce basic words in the field?
posted by DU at 4:53 AM on June 25, 2013


Will somebody please do a tumblr for grooming salons? Thank you.

(Theres one called Snip Doggy Dog in Montreal)
posted by bonobothegreat at 5:02 AM on June 25, 2013 [2 favorites]


Needs more apostrophes.
posted by sneebler at 5:13 AM on June 25, 2013


http://shearlockcombs.com/
posted by Foosnark at 5:22 AM on June 25, 2013


We seem to be wandering slightly from hair-exclusive, so let me just add the name of an Edinburgh, Scotland souvenir shop: Thistle Do Nicely.
posted by Mike D at 5:23 AM on June 25, 2013 [1 favorite]


Richmond, VA has Coiffureous George
posted by newmoistness at 5:42 AM on June 25, 2013


My parents used to live around the corner from a salon called 'The Head Shop.'

They'd use it as a landmark when giving directions no matter how many times I told them "We live behind the head shop" wasn't a good thing to tell people.
posted by rock swoon has no past at 6:04 AM on June 25, 2013


I recall a nail salon near my house when I was growing up called A Touch of Class. This always bothered me. If you get to decide how much class you have, why would you choose only a touch? Why not more? Maybe the owners were very modest, or just had a realistic image of themselves? Then they opened a hair salon next door called A Touch of Hair, which just makes no damned sense at all. I wiped my hands of the whole affhair after that.
posted by 1adam12 at 6:11 AM on June 25, 2013 [4 favorites]


How has no one mentioned Touching Cloth yet?
posted by Xalf at 6:17 AM on June 25, 2013


There's one in Bermondsey, SE London, called Spendloads-Please. It's not exactly a pun, but the audacity is impressive.

I used to live in West Ealing and there seemed to be a lot of stylists round there who specialised in shaving patterns into Afro hair. Sadly they all had very boring names.
posted by mippy at 6:22 AM on June 25, 2013


I'm a fan of the International Hairport, although, if you don't mind a layover, the Regional Hairport is fine.
posted by metl_lord at 6:23 AM on June 25, 2013 [1 favorite]


Not a pun, kind of a threat, totally a promise: I'll Cut You in Chicago
posted by hmo at 6:26 AM on June 25, 2013 [4 favorites]


There's a salon in my college town (Denton, TX) called Billy Shears. Nice.
posted by nosila at 6:45 AM on June 25, 2013


As a kid, I lived in southern Maryland, just outside of Andrews Air Force Base. And, yes, the name of the place that cut my hair (and it's still there, right outside the Virginia Avenue gate) was "Hair Force".
posted by hanov3r at 6:45 AM on June 25, 2013


I've seen plenty of punny business names while working in small business advertising for the past 11 years.

But most also use the same slogans.

Most radiator shops tell you it's the "best place to take a leak."

Most towing companies don't "want your arms or your legs, just your tows."

And most tree companies will "go out on a limb for you."
posted by stltony at 6:49 AM on June 25, 2013 [1 favorite]


My dog's groomer's place is called "Ruff is Ready"
posted by The 10th Regiment of Foot at 7:35 AM on June 25, 2013


There's a Best Little Hair House near me as well. It's in a tiny, run down strip mall and the sign is white painted plywood with the name stenciled on it in black spray paint. Classy!
posted by elsietheeel at 7:59 AM on June 25, 2013


Chicago also has Great Head Salon.
posted by marshmallow peep at 8:00 AM on June 25, 2013


My hometown has a place called Whair. Which manages to be inexplicable and too much, all at the same time.
posted by Sara C. at 8:02 AM on June 25, 2013


Is there a dog grooming salon called Cut a Bitch? Because if there isn't, there ought to be.
posted by rabbitrabbit at 8:15 AM on June 25, 2013 [6 favorites]


I think there was a salon in Marietta, Georgia called Scarlett O'Hair. Is it still there?
posted by zoetrope at 8:36 AM on June 25, 2013


This one comes to mind.
posted by Uppity Pigeon #2 at 9:09 AM on June 25, 2013



I see Sheer desperation.

Sheer means 'pure'; 'unmitigated'; 'nothing more than'. How does 'Shear Wizards', 'Shear Jazz', or 'Shear Image' constitute a pun about haircutting?

Meanwhile over at Hair Salon Names That Would Also Work as Steven Seagal Movies, our host has totally missed what makes a Steven Segal movie title.

Here's their list:

Shear Intensity
Close Cut
The Mane Objective
Clip Joint
A Good Day to Dye
By a Hair
A Cut Above
Permanent Waivers

Lesson One (Bonnng!): Here are some actual Segal movie titles. See if you can detect the pattern McSweeney's missed:

Above the Law
Out for Justice
Under Siege
Under Siege 2
On Deadly Ground
Out of Reach
Into the Sun
Against the Dark

Lesson Two (Bonnng!): Put "Steven Segal is. . . " in front of it. Notice anything? Also works with these actual titles:

Hard to Kill
Marked for Death
Driven to Kill
Born to Raise Hell

Put in a little effort before you pay someone to paint your sign, fercryinoutloud. To quote Steve Buscemi, "Do I have to do everything myself here?"
 
posted by Herodios at 9:27 AM on June 25, 2013


In my home town, we had Hair We Are, which just confused the hell out of me for literally years, because I don't always parse puns properly. One day, far, far later than it should have happened, I spoke the name aloud and got it.

"Hair We Are...wait, like here we are! Well, that is sort of funny," I said, and laughed a little too long.
posted by sonascope at 9:30 AM on June 25, 2013



"If your hair isn't becoming to you,
you should probably do something about it."

Hmm. Still needs work.
posted by Herodios at 9:33 AM on June 25, 2013


Sheer means 'pure'; 'unmitigated'; 'nothing more than'. How does 'Shear Wizards', 'Shear Jazz', or 'Shear Image' constitute a pun about haircutting?

Image meaning "popular conception" as in "It's nothing but spin, sheer image."
posted by The 10th Regiment of Foot at 9:52 AM on June 25, 2013


If I had a hair salon it would be called the Fuck Your Fucking Puns Hair Salon but I am a ruiner who ruins things.
posted by elizardbits at 10:12 AM on June 25, 2013 [4 favorites]


Also in Glasgow: The Lunatic Fringe. We also have a Scissor Sisters hair salon. I bet she didn't do much googling before deciding upon a name.

In NZ, the town of Bulls is going all out with the puns. Its website is called Unforgettabulls, the local police station is known as "Const-a-bull", the diner is "Eat-a-bull" etc. I once drove through Bulls and I still suffer from PTSD.
posted by kariebookish at 11:55 AM on June 25, 2013


We also have a Scissor Sisters hair salon.

Sounds like the perfect place for a kiki.
posted by Sara C. at 12:05 PM on June 25, 2013


There should be one for those random doodad/bric-a-brac shops that are absolutely everywhere, half of which seem to be called "Unique Boutique."
posted by gottabefunky at 12:06 PM on June 25, 2013


In NZ, the town of Bulls is going all out with the puns. Its website is called Unforgettabulls, the local police station is known as "Const-a-bull", the diner is "Eat-a-bull" etc.

I'd like to see Taumata­whakatangihanga­koauau­o­tamatea­turi­pukakapiki­maunga­horo­nuku­pokai­whenua­kitanatahu try that.
 
posted by Herodios at 12:07 PM on June 25, 2013 [1 favorite]


We have a local place called Last Tangle.
posted by kimberussell at 1:19 PM on June 25, 2013 [1 favorite]


When I lived in Japan there was a salon down the street from my apartment called Nob Cuts. They must have been popular despite the name because there was a second salon next door called Nob Extensions.
posted by Wantok at 8:48 PM on June 25, 2013


My favourite hair salon in Japan was "Cut House Bees", with pictures of bees on the sign.
posted by A Thousand Baited Hooks at 4:25 AM on June 26, 2013


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