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Santa, I've Got Your Number...
June 27, 2013 5:31 PM   Subscribe

A few days early for Christmas in July: take a famous '80s song sung from the viewpoint of a stalker who's lost all sense of normalcy and boundaries, fixated on a poor woman whose phone number was written by someone on a bathroom wall. Then make it about Santa.
posted by WCityMike (23 comments total) 3 users marked this as a favorite

 
That was so phoned in I can see they put that number to good use.
posted by sourwookie at 5:38 PM on June 27, 2013


Don't forget to use Jenny's number for supermarket discounts!
posted by nicebookrack at 5:40 PM on June 27, 2013 [2 favorites]


Wow. That's horrible. I couldn't take more than 20 seconds.
posted by notmtwain at 5:44 PM on June 27, 2013 [1 favorite]


I kind of liked it (for some reason, I had the original song running through my head the other day). As song mixups go, though, it's no Stairway to Gilligan's Island.
posted by oozy rat in a sanitary zoo at 5:59 PM on June 27, 2013 [2 favorites]


8-6-7 5 GOLDEN RINGS!
posted by Renoroc at 6:05 PM on June 27, 2013 [4 favorites]


I can't decide if I'm happy or sad that The Police's "Every Breath You Take" wasn't somehow involved in this.
posted by Greg_Ace at 6:08 PM on June 27, 2013 [5 favorites]


Lift me up, I need you to hold me
posted by kagredon at 6:28 PM on June 27, 2013


For some reason, I was hoping this would be a Christmas version of Peter Gabriel's "Intruder."
posted by sonascope at 6:46 PM on June 27, 2013 [1 favorite]


As the kind of guy who gets requests at Christmastime for "Oh Little Town of Bethlehem" to the tune of "House of the Rising Sun", I approve of this.
posted by ob1quixote at 7:23 PM on June 27, 2013 [4 favorites]


That's kind of freaky. I had a brother-in-law who had a cover band and it may have included this song but cripes. Let the big hair and shoulder pads and mullets rest in peace.
posted by Marie Mon Dieu at 7:41 PM on June 27, 2013


take a famous '80s song sung from the viewpoint of a stalker who's lost all sense of normalcy and boundaries

This isn't "Every Breath You Take"
I don't understand
posted by maryr at 8:02 PM on June 27, 2013 [2 favorites]


Oops, sorry Greg_Ace, missed that.
posted by maryr at 8:03 PM on June 27, 2013


"I'll Be (Not) Watching You..."
posted by Greg_Ace at 8:14 PM on June 27, 2013


In addition to the digits 3567890, the original also has the line "you're the girl for me", where the "for" is distinct and would be easy to pop out. He says "to" plenty of times as well.

So you just have to come up with a "one" in there and you could rejigger your voice mail system so that when it says "the extension" "three" "six" nigheeihhign" "eight" "is not answering. To try another number..." the digits are read out as we might call Tommy Touchtone...
posted by George_Spiggott at 8:18 PM on June 27, 2013 [3 favorites]


ok so like six months ago, i'm browsing my favorite thrift store, right? and i'm in the cd section because this was back before i became efficient and installed an aux port in my car for musics, and i could generally pick up cheap cds from the 90s and early 00s that instantly transported me to my heady days of youth rebellion.

anyway i come across this cd and i giggle. i poke my best friend and show him. and since at the time, it was close to christmas, i was like fuck it, it's 50 cents, i'll buy it.

we get out to my car and put it in the cd player and the tommy tutone song was the FIRST SONG that comes out and you don't even want to know how much we both just lost our shit in the parking lot of a thrift store. i mean, there were tears from crying so hard due to laughter and just general merriment. i mean, we just bought a cd with a song that NOBODY KNEW ABOUT and it was AWESOME.

anyway. it was one of my favorite days. we put it on repeat and drove around and ate banh mis and told everyone we knew and shared it with all our friends. i put it on instagram and proclaimed loudly that this was my new favorite christmas song. i love that this is posted here today.

p.s. the other songs on the album are nowhere NEAR as good as this one but the pointer sisters do a pretty good cover of rudolph.
posted by kerning at 8:46 PM on June 27, 2013 [7 favorites]


take a famous '80s song sung from the viewpoint of a stalker who's lost all sense of normalcy and boundaries,

Listen as the snow blows, all across the great divide...

Oh, 80's. Sorry.
posted by eriko at 9:17 PM on June 27, 2013


"I'll Be (Not) Watching You..."

Way to make it sting.
posted by maryr at 11:27 PM on June 27, 2013 [1 favorite]


take a famous '80s song sung from the viewpoint of a stalker who's lost all sense of normalcy and boundaries

Oh, I thought it was going to be this song.
posted by MartinWisse at 2:11 AM on June 28, 2013


I'd just like to point out that this song is available on a 2 disc set of This Kind of Thing that also includes James Brown, Air Supply, Iggy Pop, Bay City Rollers, Judy Collins, one of the Zappa kids, various members of Deep Purple, and perennial favourite LA Guns.
posted by Eumachia L F at 2:40 AM on June 28, 2013


This is great. The lyrics fit perfectly.
posted by three blind mice at 3:02 AM on June 28, 2013


...and we've not even gotten to "Hungry Like the Wolf."

God, what a stalkery decade that was.
posted by drlith at 5:26 AM on June 28, 2013


Also, "Somebody's Watching Me," "Who Can It Be Now?," "Hungry Eyes," "Private Eyes," and probably "Bette Davis Eyes."
posted by octobersurprise at 6:55 AM on June 28, 2013


In the original Jenny (867-5309), there's a very obvious lyric change that I'm ashamed to admit took me years to notice. As performed: "Jenny, Jenny, you're the girl for me / You don't know me but you make me so happy." Wait -- that doesn't even rhyme -- ohhhhh.
posted by SubterraneanRedStateBlues at 7:50 AM on June 28, 2013


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