Listicles all the way down
July 9, 2013 7:21 PM   Subscribe

40 Signs you are a Buzzfeed Writer Running Out of List Ideas
posted by Frayed Knot (68 comments total) 15 users marked this as a favorite

 
I like Buzzfeed most of the time. Is VF feeling bad? Is it because Buzzfeed got a shout out from POTUS during the White House Correspondents Dinner and VF didn't?
posted by discopolo at 7:26 PM on July 9, 2013 [1 favorite]


Well there was the brouhaha over this recent (and ridiculously callous) piece, which seems to be a reductio ad absurdum of the site's ironic, pop-culture-saturated take on world events.
posted by Bromius at 7:34 PM on July 9, 2013 [1 favorite]


Buzzfeed is the epitome of internet junk food, addictive and completely vacuous.

At the end of the internet there will be nothing but porn, /b/, and Buzzfeed.
posted by leotrotsky at 7:36 PM on July 9, 2013 [1 favorite]


I hope David Letterman gets a cut of the click-throughs we send Buzzfeed's way.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 7:36 PM on July 9, 2013


I just really do not like the term 'listicle'. Might as well call it a 'word-scrotum'.
posted by fikri at 7:36 PM on July 9, 2013 [43 favorites]


I love the idea of the VF piece, but uh... I did find some excellent Buzzfeed lists from it too.
posted by supercres at 7:38 PM on July 9, 2013 [1 favorite]


Yeah, it took me a really long time to figure out that "listicle" was a portmanteau of list and article, not list and testicle.

(Tomorrow on BuzzFeed: 14 Portmanteaux That Are Not Actually Genital References)
posted by Metroid Baby at 7:46 PM on July 9, 2013 [43 favorites]


I generally like Buzzfeed, but I love parodies of Buzzfeed. I also love Albania.

The VF one just strikes me as a little dumb and mean.
posted by Ideal Impulse at 7:47 PM on July 9, 2013 [1 favorite]


How did Buzzfeed somehow take Cracked's list shtick and make it completely sparse and even more subjective?
posted by Apocryphon at 7:48 PM on July 9, 2013 [2 favorites]


I love VF's blog. So sarcastic. So useless. Great stuff.
posted by maryr at 8:00 PM on July 9, 2013


As an avid SkyMall flip-througher, I feel I need to point out that not a single one of those 36 things can be found in SkyMall. It almost makes me suspect that this author has never seen a SkyMall.
posted by phunniemee at 8:04 PM on July 9, 2013 [3 favorites]


My favorite click bait parody.
posted by leopard at 8:07 PM on July 9, 2013 [30 favorites]


I must admit, I've gotten more than a few post concepts for my knitting blog from posts Buzzfeed has done about knitting stuff.
posted by orange swan at 8:16 PM on July 9, 2013


At the end of the internet there will be nothing but porn, /b/, and Buzzfeed.

Buzzfeed steals a lot of content from reddit, so you might want to add some portions of it to your list (say, /r/spacedicks. Maybe /r/aww if you're feeling good.)
posted by Going To Maine at 8:17 PM on July 9, 2013 [1 favorite]


Is it because Buzzfeed got a shout out from POTUS during the White House Correspondents Dinner and VF didn't?

A munchies joke based on the name "buzzfeed" got delivered at the dinner. What buzzfeed actually is was not important to the joke.
posted by George_Spiggott at 8:27 PM on July 9, 2013 [2 favorites]


It should be noted that you should not visit /r/spacedicks.
posted by ericost at 8:30 PM on July 9, 2013 [18 favorites]


Oh, and when a publicist commits suicide because he couldn't get his client invited to a buzzfeed afterparty, VF will have something to worry about.
posted by George_Spiggott at 8:34 PM on July 9, 2013


The problem with Vanity Fair's list is that there is no damn photo (of slow loading gif!) with each item! The photo/gif is the essence of the listicle!
posted by vespabelle at 8:35 PM on July 9, 2013 [2 favorites]


Yeah, it took me a really long time to figure out that "listicle" was a portmanteau of list and article, not list and testicle.

List and icicle? List and pop sickle? List and sickle cell anemia?
posted by slogger at 8:38 PM on July 9, 2013


'Oos an ickle widdle list? Aww, is it buzzfeed?
posted by hattifattener at 8:40 PM on July 9, 2013 [1 favorite]


Yeah, it took me a really long time to figure out that "listicle" was a portmanteau of list and article, not list and testicle.

Ohhhh. Huh.
posted by artychoke at 8:41 PM on July 9, 2013 [2 favorites]


I really love the term 'listicle.' Might as well call it a 'word-scrotum.'
posted by shakespeherian at 8:42 PM on July 9, 2013 [8 favorites]


80% of my BuzzFeed time is spent in the Animals section.
posted by fatehunter at 8:45 PM on July 9, 2013


You know what's worse than a listicle? A Zergnet link to a listicle that doesn't even link to the listicle.

I admit it, I clicked on some stupid linkbait.
posted by Artw at 8:47 PM on July 9, 2013


FeedBuzz
posted by kaspen at 8:55 PM on July 9, 2013 [1 favorite]


You know what's worse than a listicle? Listicular cancer.
posted by oneswellfoop at 9:00 PM on July 9, 2013 [5 favorites]


Do your lists hang low?
Do they wobble to and fro?
Do you not remember reading
what you read not long ago?
posted by Rustic Etruscan at 9:04 PM on July 9, 2013 [43 favorites]


Metafilter: Might as well call it a 'word-scrotum.'

(I kid, I kid!)
posted by Ursula Hitler at 9:12 PM on July 9, 2013


I'm going with 'word sack'.
posted by smallerdemon at 9:12 PM on July 9, 2013


I think that's where you store the Scrabble tiles.
posted by maryr at 9:20 PM on July 9, 2013 [2 favorites]


Here I am on my porch, a scorching July evening. iPad in one hand, bourbon in the other, I'm looking for the Internet treat that satisfies my urge to click and cools me off at the same time. Something vacuous on a stick, to remind me of the summers of my childhood. I want a Listsicle.
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 9:22 PM on July 9, 2013 [4 favorites]


Outbrain is not a company, it's a command.
posted by benzenedream at 9:34 PM on July 9, 2013 [1 favorite]


I thought a fair number of these lists were pretty good, but I have to say: "you've just downloaded portlandia and you didn't really get it" was fair game. Hey Buzzfeed-- you didn't really 'get' Portlandia. You really ought to get out of Atlanta sometime. Yeah, we kid the Portland hipsters because we love the Portland hipsters.
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 9:36 PM on July 9, 2013


Joe Veix:
Earlier today, I posted this BuzzFeed parody on BuzzFeed, because I wanted to create a black hole on the internet. Within 15 minutes, it was deleted and I was banned from the site, because it was "mean-spirited," according to their community editor.

Thankfully, “The Story Of Egypt’s Revolution In Jurassic Park Gifs" remains available to the world.
posted by me3dia at 9:44 PM on July 9, 2013 [13 favorites]


Ask MeFi: The Listicle
posted by Starmie at 9:46 PM on July 9, 2013


Wuhh?

The lazy fucks.
posted by Artw at 10:20 PM on July 9, 2013


You can block most of the syndicated linkbait with a custom filter in Adblock Plus:

For example:

outbrain.com^$third-party
posted by reiichiroh at 10:27 PM on July 9, 2013 [4 favorites]


I do this for: knowd.com, linkwithin.com, nrelate.com, outbrain.com, scribol.com, taboolasyndication.com, zergnet.com, crowdignite.com
posted by reiichiroh at 10:30 PM on July 9, 2013 [9 favorites]


Yeah, it took me a really long time to figure out that "listicle" was a portmanteau of list and article, not list and testicle.

Wow, Metroid Baby, that's amazing (as in, I've spent way too much time pondering this, and never figured out anything but "testicle"). I feel like I owe you something :/
posted by GrumpyDan at 10:39 PM on July 9, 2013 [1 favorite]


I love FeedBuzz, and I don't really like Buzzfeed because unlike Craked it usually doesn't even have the veneer of intellectualism - its just cute pictures. At its best it's Thought Catalog without the pretention, like this article I shared today.
posted by Charlemagne In Sweatpants at 10:52 PM on July 9, 2013


though this article on pop punk lead to this jaded punk article that lead me to learn about Weston so all is right with the world
posted by Charlemagne In Sweatpants at 10:56 PM on July 9, 2013 [2 favorites]


BuzzFeed is the USA Today of internet culture.
posted by Uther Bentrazor at 11:00 PM on July 9, 2013 [3 favorites]


Charlemagne, the jaded punk article made me remember the fun I had playing this
posted by quarsan at 11:02 PM on July 9, 2013 [1 favorite]


While not actually in skymall, I can see where they were making that connection - there's a common aesthetic between (some) skymall items and the architectural features in that list.

Also I want to live in all of those houses.
posted by vibratory manner of working at 11:40 PM on July 9, 2013 [1 favorite]


Wait. One question.

How do you manage to associate/use in the same sentence the words "Buzzfeed" and writer?

Please is to enlighten me?
posted by Samizdata at 11:56 PM on July 9, 2013 [1 favorite]


Huh. I never knew about the dark, teeming listicle underbelly of SkyMall.
Cracked: The 7 Most Useless Skymall Products

HuffPo: 19 Ridiculous SkyMall Products

TheAtlantic: The Strange Story of America's Most Delightfully Weird Catalogue

Marketplace.org: Quiz: They sell that in SkyMall?!

Verge: The dark side of the SkyMall catalog

Buzzfeed: 20 Interesting SkyMall Products

Jezebel: 8 Products From SkyMall You Can Use To Kill Someone

Skymall.tumblr: The very best and worst of Skymall

Gizmodo: What Would Happen If People in the SkyMall Catalog Came to Life?

Slate: Pseudoscience of SkyMall

Something Awful: SkyMall Product Reviews

YouTube: Stupid Crap in Sky Mall

BusinessInsider: Top Products In SkyMall

etc.
I was just thinking that SkyMall is obviously the walking-dead content provider of the entire internet, when lo and behold, CNN pulls it all together with "Need a garden zombie? SkyMall has it."

Wired, it should be noted, has been incredibly restrained since their 2006 "SkyMall Carrying iPod Toilet Paper Roll" story, and Gawker mocks SkyMall gawking with some tuff talk: The Tyranny of SkyMall Trend Stories.
posted by taz at 2:19 AM on July 10, 2013 [1 favorite]


Buzzfeed is mostly harmless, but I do get tired of the way they assume everybody reading is a 28-year-old white woman who is achingly nostalgic for crap like Full House.
posted by Ursula Hitler at 2:54 AM on July 10, 2013 [9 favorites]


I kept typing the Konami Code on this site but no dinosaurs showed up. :(
posted by robocop is bleeding at 4:20 AM on July 10, 2013 [3 favorites]


the dark, teeming listicle underbelly

First, isn't this called a taint? Second, I think there is a cream for the condition.
posted by GenjiandProust at 4:29 AM on July 10, 2013 [1 favorite]


They launched a UK version earlier this year, and I like to think it was mainly because all the '90 signs you were a 90s kid; confused bored office workers here who have no idea what an Urkel is or what it did. Now they confuse Americans instead.
posted by mippy at 4:41 AM on July 10, 2013


Actually, this list has made me very happy.
posted by mippy at 4:42 AM on July 10, 2013


Buzzfeed is mostly harmless, but I do get tired of the way they assume everybody reading is a 28-year-old white woman who is achingly nostalgic for crap like Full House.

The only reason I ever hear about probably 90% of the Buzzfeed lists I hear about is because some white lady facebook friend of mine between ages 25 and 30 has posted the link with "SO true!!!" written above it, and like at least 4 people have commented on it with some variant of "omg love it!!!!"

Just because you're not their demographic doesn't mean they don't know their demographic.
posted by phunniemee at 4:49 AM on July 10, 2013


Where would the "smartest comebacks of all time" be without the greatest set-ups of all time?
posted by The 10th Regiment of Foot at 5:04 AM on July 10, 2013


BuzzFeed’s poor editorial policies as described in a series of GIFs (from Death and Taxes Magazine)
posted by dhartung at 5:10 AM on July 10, 2013


crowdignite.com

On the other hand, I readily invite links to the web's number-one resource for corvid advocacy, crowdignity.com.
posted by uncleozzy at 6:03 AM on July 10, 2013 [1 favorite]


I, for one, would welcome a spiral staircase winecellar. In my house. What a grand idea.
posted by chavenet at 6:27 AM on July 10, 2013


Should've gotten a degree in meme science.
posted by Quonab at 6:39 AM on July 10, 2013


All lists are just re-makes of Shakespeare's original lists anyway.
posted by mullacc at 6:45 AM on July 10, 2013


I think the prevalence of SkyMall jokes has come about because airlines no longer serve food for the most part, and all the energy being expended on "airplane food sucks amirite" had to go somewhere.
posted by Daily Alice at 6:48 AM on July 10, 2013


Sky Maul is the definitive Sky Mall parody.
posted by mcstayinskool at 6:55 AM on July 10, 2013 [1 favorite]


I'm not 28 or white, but I don't think Full House was crap. The Olsen twins are bajillionaires, Kimmy Gibler has a master's in human rights from Rotterdam, John Stamos looks better than Rob Lowe, and only one of them became a meth addict. And they all stay in touch. And I love the theme song, and SF. I'm not saying I'd watch it again, but it was a nice show and good in its time. I watched it as a kid with my whole family as part of TGIF.

But I get it. It's cool to say something sucks or is crap at Metafilter Junior High.
posted by discopolo at 7:10 AM on July 10, 2013 [2 favorites]


I don't know what Full House is, but have you tried watching Alf recently? My god, it is almost literally unwatchable.
posted by mippy at 7:55 AM on July 10, 2013


BuzzFeed makes me irrationally angry a lot of the time, because to me it represents the apex of this trend toward "content" online being a never-ending churn of shit that is put up just to have SOMEthing out there. (And the significant % of it that is sponsored content just makes me think of this.)

I'm probably not being fair to them (empty fluff in media is hardly a new thing), but there is just something about the style that drives me up the wall. I can appreciate their ability to laugh at themselves, and occasionally the lists are funny, but the ones that really get me are when they try to address topics in the news by narrating them in this storybook format focused mostly on pictures that feels like they're assuming the audience can't read more than two sentences at a time.

I've actually liked a lot of the long-form reporting pieces of theirs that I've read, and feel like I should give them some credit for that. And admittedly there are worse things out there (the Demand Media SEO empire with the Livestrong links at the top of nearly every search related to athletics or health, for one), so this level of grar about it probably isn't justified. But god, the BF main page drives me nuts.
posted by Kosh at 9:00 AM on July 10, 2013 [1 favorite]


That sounded like it could have been funny. It was mostly uninteresting cheap shots that could have been aimed at nearly any target.
posted by Zed at 9:30 AM on July 10, 2013 [1 favorite]


...have you tried watching Alf recently? My god, it is almost literally unwatchable.

I'd watch 10 episodes of Alf if it saved me from watching 1 episode of Small Wonder.
posted by mcstayinskool at 10:44 AM on July 10, 2013 [1 favorite]


...have you tried watching Alf recently? My god, it is almost literally unwatchable.

See Permanent Midnight, a biopic of ALF writer Jerry Stahl. You will understand why ALF was terrible.
posted by Sys Rq at 11:06 AM on July 10, 2013 [2 favorites]


I liked Small Wonder.

Metafilter Highbrow Junior High grumble grumble

I never liked Alf all that much. I think I heard recently that the cast had a terrible time working with the actor who played Willy.
posted by discopolo at 7:38 AM on July 11, 2013


Kosh: "but the ones that really get me are when they try to address topics in the news by narrating them in this storybook format focused mostly on pictures that feels like they're assuming the audience can't read more than two sentences at a time.
"

This tweet from Buzzfeed's political editor is a perfect example of this attitude. The farm bill happens to be a very important piece of legislation that could cause people to lose food stamp benefits, but to Buzzfeed, it's just another opportunity to point and laugh.

I wouldn't care if nobody took Buzzfeed's political coverage seriously, but people do -- they had the late Michael Hastings, for chrissakes.
posted by tonycpsu at 5:32 PM on July 11, 2013 [1 favorite]


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