[Document #338-1: "I would like to remind all personnel that SCP-038 is not, I repeat, not a toy."]
The Whelk: "Sigh, Christmas Trees where a 19th Century German thing, although I guess you could find a catholic 16th century Germanic regent. "
Item Description: A 76-centimeter-tall statue of a clown. In room where it was placed, a giggling sound would be noted whenever lights were turned off.
Date of Recovery: 5-16-200█
Location of Recovery: ██████, Germany
Current Status: Shot approximately 150 times with a 9mm sidearm by Agent ██████, until nothing remained but splinters. No anomalous properties recorded in the remains.
The Whelk: “Actually the best thing ever was THE RISE OF SPIDER COMMUNISM.”
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