televised suicide: the goofiest bin laden rumor yet?

December 10, 2001 2:52 PM

televised suicide: the goofiest bin laden rumor yet? good lord. the story claims bin laden is going to kill himself on tv to trigger attacks on monuments around the world. even the tabloids have been staying away from the attacks, for the most part. but when this story went by on a ticker while i was surfing, i just had to look. what's the strangest post-attack rumor you've heard so far? i want obscure, here, people, not anything about malls on halloween.
posted by onthestereo (16 comments total)

"[bin Laden] was amused that some of these people who were martyred, they thought they were just taking part in a hijacking [they did not know it was a suicide mission]."

is this true? this, to my mind, invalidates ANY argument i MIGHT have listened to in defense of the attack. making martyrs is a statement -- not telling people they are about to become martyrs... i don't know. hell of a surprise.
posted by o2b at 3:08 PM on December 10, 2001

I had read that G.E. is trying to reach him, via Larry King, to do a few commercial spots, the money to go to his surviving network, but that he wants his speech to be ad-free and perhaps shown following Sex and the City on HBO.
posted by Postroad at 3:11 PM on December 10, 2001

Nah, he's holding out for a Barbara Walters interview.
posted by msacheson at 3:14 PM on December 10, 2001

Someone who doesn't go to death willingly is not, by definition, a martyr.
posted by Ty Webb at 3:15 PM on December 10, 2001

I heard the terrorist were going to attack malls on halloween.
posted by Doug at 3:32 PM on December 10, 2001

Goofiest rumor? Bin Laden to star in madcap musical romp, ending with heartwrenching ensemble song: "I Bin Loving You Too Long".
posted by Kafkaesque at 3:34 PM on December 10, 2001

kafkaesque, you too funny.
posted by msacheson at 3:39 PM on December 10, 2001

better rumor, with picture: I saw a picture, muck like Obiwan Bin Laden, but was a picture of osama's face on a orangutang. It was in Weekly World News tabloid. The caption had something along the lines of "A US and British Secret Service say that this orangutang costume is one of the many disguises Osama has used to avoid capture". Yes it was a real orangutang, and yes it was Osama's face. I laughed outloud.
posted by tomplus2 at 4:13 PM on December 10, 2001

Gotta be the MeFi thread: How Many Died Needlessly?
posted by Carol Anne at 4:48 PM on December 10, 2001

How about this one.

The London-based Arab newspaper Al Hayat last Saturday quoted an al-Qaeda spokesman claiming that bin Laden has recruited at least ten lookalikes over the years, preparing them to play decoy...
posted by ferris at 5:43 PM on December 10, 2001

I can see it now.

Okay...yes...good...NO! Hold the microphone with TWO fingers like I showed you!

And my walk. It's more left-right. You're too jumpy. Swing your kaftan. Loosey goosey...Now you're getting it!
posted by Kafkaesque at 5:49 PM on December 10, 2001

I heard that, rather than killing himself in front of television cameras, Osama bin Laden was planning to chop his feet off on the Internet...

It was in Weekly World News tabloid.

Hasn't the tabloid-anthrax scare put these people out of commission yet?
posted by Danelope at 4:16 AM on December 11, 2001

The mall one. I heard that like four times on the trusted Internet *cough*, from all sorts of people, and then my lovely wife tells me that her mom has someone who she works with who dated an Arab man, who told her to stay out of the malls on Halloween....

I also heard that Omar and Osama will be costaring in a rap video in the style of JibJab's Motha Fo' Fathers, with our favorite DJ mixin' up the turntables.
posted by adampsyche at 5:30 AM on December 11, 2001

Snopes, of course, has its Rumors of War list. [And ye shall hear of wars and rumours of wars: see that ye be not troubled: for all these things must come to pass, but the end is not yet. Matthew 24:6]
posted by Carol Anne at 6:12 AM on December 11, 2001

Nice post, Carol Anne--Speaking of "Saucy Jack," I asked former Marine Carlton Meyer of G2Mil Warfare Research Portal- about the Saucy Jack letter and his response was:
I've seen that Marine thing in many places. I thought it too well-written, and its not a mission that Marine Recon would do. They are four-man recon teams, and not part of the Special Forces command which operate with locals and spot for the Air Force, especially that far away from their Marine elements in the Arabian sea.

GIs often bitch about their screwed up leaders, this guy was too positive and too polished. Even if he was Army, he would not be there alone with the locals...

A rumor I hope and wish to be false: Saturday, I found this Telegraph article: US Flies Al-Qaeda Fighters to Military Base in Pacific --where this paragraph leapt out:

Detainees on Guam would enjoy the same protection as they would in any American state, but that does not apply to Wake Island, a tiny atoll halfway between Hawaii and Guam. It is directly administered by the US air force and has only 123 inhabitants, all of them employed by the US government.

And here's another story on the reaction in the Northern Marianas and Guam...

Secret tribunals anyone?
posted by y2karl at 6:53 AM on December 11, 2001

y2karl: kudos to you for posting the Guam/Wake Island story--scary stuff!

The State Department of the United States of America in 1996:
"The United States deeply regrets that Ms. Berenson was not tried in an open civilian court with full rights of legal defense, in accordance with international juridicial norms. Ms. Berenson may appeal her conviction in stages to two higher levels of military appeals tribunals, and we understand that her attorney is filing such an appeal. It is not clear whether a final appeal might be made to the Peruvian Supreme Court, a civilian body. The United States remains concerned that Ms. Berenson receive due process. We have repeatedly expressed these concerns to the Government of Peru. We call upon the Peruvian Government to take the necessary steps in the appeals process to accord Ms. Berenson an open judicial proceeding in a civilian court. The United States will continue to follow this case closely."
posted by Carol Anne at 8:43 AM on December 11, 2001