ROCKY: I mean, c’mon - do I look like a Rambo to you?
July 23, 2013 9:53 AM   Subscribe

In 2010, six friends sat down to watch all four Rambo movies in one day. Inspired, they realized how f&%king awesome it would be if Rambo were to fight his doppelganger Rocky. They plotted the movie in five minutes, split up the writing chores, and each wrote a section, without any of them reading the others' work. This is that story. (Not the story of how they wrote it, but the actual script they wrote, Rocky Vs Rambo)
posted by Potomac Avenue (17 comments total) 8 users marked this as a favorite

 
Guns beat fists.
posted by Chocolate Pickle at 9:57 AM on July 23, 2013


Psh. The Best Show beat them to it by three years! I give you RAMBOCKY.
posted by like_a_friend at 9:58 AM on July 23, 2013 [1 favorite]


If Rambo had to face off against Clubber Lang in First Blood: Part II, he never would have made it back home alive. Just saying.
posted by MoonOrb at 9:59 AM on July 23, 2013


MoonOrb: "If Rambo had to face off against Clubber Lang in First Blood: Part II, he never would have made it back home alive. Just saying."

I'd pity that fool.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 10:05 AM on July 23, 2013 [1 favorite]


What about Cobra?
posted by philip-random at 10:10 AM on July 23, 2013


It doesn't have any Rocky in it but Son of Rambow was a real treat in Rambo-inspired film.
posted by graymouser at 10:11 AM on July 23, 2013 [1 favorite]


We've all seen BroForce, right?
posted by robocop is bleeding at 10:14 AM on July 23, 2013 [1 favorite]


Now if we could only get Superman to fight Batman...

wait.... :)
posted by HuronBob at 10:44 AM on July 23, 2013


Rambo v. Dutch?
posted by blue_beetle at 10:44 AM on July 23, 2013


VETERAN
My mistake. I guess I’m like Steve
Jobs or Phil Knight, everywhere I
look, I see RAM... BO. Steve Jobs
sees RAM in his computers, and
Phil Knight sees Bo Jackson as a
spokesperson of his company Nike.
If that's not Aukerman, I'll eat my goddamn hat.
posted by Shepherd at 10:54 AM on July 23, 2013 [2 favorites]


I'd bet Harris was the one who named the Elephant Kulap too, though that might have been Kulap herself.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 10:58 AM on July 23, 2013


^^^^^Spoiler Alert.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 10:58 AM on July 23, 2013


If you had access to a camcorder in the 80s, you probably made your own Rambo movie.
posted by RobotVoodooPower at 12:18 PM on July 23, 2013


I can't believe this actually lived up to the list of writers.

RAMBO: Maybe you don’t know what expendable means! Expendable means a person that no one cares if they show up to a party!

I could sit here all day quoting this screenplay, but really I'd like to use this comment to beg Cthulhuberg, Yog Sothothstein or whichever eldritch horror is currently running Hollyweird to fund. this. film. pleeease. I bet they could even get Stallone.
posted by forgetful snow at 1:17 PM on July 23, 2013 [1 favorite]


I really want to print this out and bind it, but I can't find any of those plastic toothed bindery things in my office.
posted by anazgnos at 1:22 PM on July 23, 2013 [1 favorite]


The only fair comparison between Rambo and Rocky would be seeing who would win at arm wrestling.
posted by justsomebodythatyouusedtoknow at 7:09 PM on July 23, 2013


The only fair comparison between Rambo and Rocky would be seeing who would win at arm wrestling.

It's like a switch.
posted by MoonOrb at 7:18 PM on July 23, 2013


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