“No! I am really discreet!"

July 26, 2013 5:29 AM

Jenny Mollen and her husband, Jason Biggs (of American Pie fame), decide to hire a prostitute.
posted by reenum (5 comments total)

This is really horrible.

So my husband and I got a whore. I’m hoping, unless you’re some sick depraved dissolute of a person, this isn’t the kind of thing you hear everyday. If it is, fuck you, I thought it was pretty gangster.

This girl looked nothing like her photos online. In fact, to me, she kind of resembled one of those little island pygmies from Gulliver’s Travels.

I hadn’t thought of it before but I got the impression it was in the hooker handbook not to accept drinks on the job. It made sense. One roofie and I could have easily scored my whole three hundred bucks back.

“Babe!” I shouted. “You totally embarrassed me in front of the whore. She totally thinks we can’t afford her,” I cried.
posted by munyeca at 5:37 AM on July 26, 2013

I'm all for anything between consenting adults, but that doesn't mean I want to read about it. If this were satire, it would be a brilliant take down of these people. They are assholes.
posted by cjorgensen at 5:38 AM on July 26, 2013

Also, I have even had my coffee yet. My rule is no scat references until after coffee.
posted by cjorgensen at 5:39 AM on July 26, 2013

Couldn't even make it past the first paragraph. "Shock humor" is, generally, neither.
posted by uncleozzy at 5:39 AM on July 26, 2013 [2 favorites]

I was thinking that a confession piece about how the fiancé from Orange Is the New Black can't keep it up in a threesome is some sort of poetic justice. And then I remembered that this was real life and not TV.

Somebody should tell that to Jenny Mollen too.
posted by R. Schlock at 5:50 AM on July 26, 2013 [1 favorite]