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today you lose to a child
August 6, 2013 12:24 PM   Subscribe

Horrorscopes (single link Tumblr)
posted by theodolite (29 comments total) 11 users marked this as a favorite

 
Uranus with family, friends and acquaintances. LOL.
posted by roomthreeseventeen at 12:27 PM on August 6, 2013


Creative thinking will take you to a bin. You'll come up with some woeful ideas.
posted by Beardman at 12:28 PM on August 6, 2013


Are you an ass? your one problem to end.

Way to be ominous without even capitalizing.
posted by bearwife at 12:34 PM on August 6, 2013 [1 favorite]


You aim too low, libra. Act beautiful.

(better than the original probably)
posted by likeatoaster at 12:39 PM on August 6, 2013 [1 favorite]


I don't put much faith in horoscopes, which is typical Leo
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 12:42 PM on August 6, 2013 [2 favorites]


This reminds me of myself at seventeen, when my favorite hobby was changing/crossing out letters on things to make more hilarious things. Like, I changed "sixth edition" on my Chemistry text book to "sex ed is fun." In retrospect, I clearly peaked at seventeen.
posted by Metroid Baby at 12:44 PM on August 6, 2013 [5 favorites]


Crispin Glover's doing horoscopes now? Sweet.
posted by mannequito at 12:49 PM on August 6, 2013 [1 favorite]


Ugh my friends are like.
posted by 2bucksplus at 12:52 PM on August 6, 2013 [1 favorite]


Metroid Baby: This reminds me of myself at seventeen, when my favorite hobby was changing/crossing out letters on things to make more hilarious things.

Every time I have been to London, I am amazed at the way none of the "TO LET" signs have "I" graffitied onto them.
posted by Rock Steady at 12:52 PM on August 6, 2013 [1 favorite]


I, TO LET
posted by cjorgensen at 1:02 PM on August 6, 2013 [2 favorites]


Every hand dryer I ever came across growing up always had the same instructions:
1. Push Butt
2. Rub Hands Gently Under arm
3. Stop Auto at ally
posted by ckape at 1:05 PM on August 6, 2013 [9 favorites]


ckape: Every hand dryer I ever came across growing up always had the same instructions:

The newer text-free instructions lend themselves to captions quite nicely.
posted by Rock Steady at 1:09 PM on August 6, 2013


Cancer. 'Nuff said.
posted by dances_with_sneetches at 1:09 PM on August 6, 2013


I DEFINITELY ENJOYED THE THING
posted by capricorn at 1:13 PM on August 6, 2013 [3 favorites]


"you tend to cheer yourself up online." It's...it's like they know me. *shudder*
posted by EvaDestruction at 1:18 PM on August 6, 2013


I've been regularly losing to children since I was one, and it shows no signs of stopping anytime soon. I thought that was part of the job description.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 1:19 PM on August 6, 2013


Metafilter: Baby Hanging Station
posted by MrMoonPie at 1:24 PM on August 6, 2013 [1 favorite]


Heh, I found the aforementioned chemistry book. The original was carefully done with paper, colored pens, and tape, but I clumsily recreated it here.

This is literally the only thing I remember from AP Chemistry.
posted by Metroid Baby at 1:31 PM on August 6, 2013 [6 favorites]


This is good -- and I appreciated the "ahumument" tag! Further background here.
posted by neroli at 1:37 PM on August 6, 2013 [2 favorites]


Metafilter: I clearly peaked at seventeen.
posted by Rangeboy at 1:44 PM on August 6, 2013


In time, abstract concepts turn into reality. Don't talk.
posted by justsomebodythatyouusedtoknow at 1:47 PM on August 6, 2013


ASS STANCE
posted by grog at 2:45 PM on August 6, 2013


There's a small festival in a town near me called 'canal day'.

For the week before it begins, half of the teenage population of the town go around removing the letter 'c' from every single sign, poster or advert they can find. Ah, to be young again.
posted by Ned G at 3:02 PM on August 6, 2013 [1 favorite]


This is one of those ideas where I'm wishing I had come up with it myself, because 1: it's really, really funny, but also 2: they seem like they're a blast to make.
posted by You Can't Tip a Buick at 3:11 PM on August 6, 2013


I'm not sure I've seen a sign for the Essex police station that was not missing the Es.
posted by Karmakaze at 7:06 PM on August 6, 2013


This reminds me of myself at seventeen, when my favorite hobby was changing/crossing out letters on things to make more hilarious things.

Oh man me too, I had a field day with the section on the Punic Wars.
posted by Uther Bentrazor at 8:33 PM on August 6, 2013


This reminds me of myself at seventeen, when my favorite hobby was changing/crossing out letters on things to make more hilarious things.

Just in case we grew up in the same town, my Mom has been wanting a word with you ever since the day innocent little me brought home a copy of Tuck Everlasting from the library.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 8:37 PM on August 6, 2013 [1 favorite]


Some of these were pretty funny. His blog is good too - check out this entry*: Goon of Fortune (based on Wheel of Fortune) [with photo].
* Dan Murphy's - Big box liquor store
* Fruity Lexia - Got a bit of a sweet tooth?
* clothesline - Hills Hoist (game will not work on straight clothesline)
I love Australia.
posted by unliteral at 8:48 PM on August 6, 2013 [1 favorite]


Ckape, at the local pizza place where I grew up, Step 3 was "tops all".
posted by Mister Moofoo at 3:20 AM on August 7, 2013


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