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He is not literally a piece of excrement.
August 9, 2013 7:12 AM   Subscribe

WWE wrestler CM Punk wants to help you improve your grammar. Some language NSFW.
posted by Shepherd (39 comments total) 16 users marked this as a favorite

 
I love CM Punk. He's one of the best things to happen to the business in a long, long time.
posted by FAMOUS MONSTER at 7:16 AM on August 9, 2013 [1 favorite]


Dammit, I was totally gonna post this, but I guess your faster then me.
posted by cortex at 7:28 AM on August 9, 2013 [8 favorites]


Cortex, your literally the worst person in the world.
posted by 256 at 7:46 AM on August 9, 2013


I don't want to like this, but it's amazing.
posted by lownote at 7:46 AM on August 9, 2013


Maybe CM Punk could develop some on-line math lessons as well. I think he is a lot better than Khan Academy.
posted by Seymour Zamboni at 7:46 AM on August 9, 2013 [3 favorites]


Punk is also the best in the world at grammar I see.
posted by smackwich at 7:47 AM on August 9, 2013


Cortex, your literally the worst person in the world.

There is NOTHING wrong with the figurative use of the word "literally", any more than there is with the figurative use of any other word.
posted by kenko at 7:47 AM on August 9, 2013 [4 favorites]


Related: She took a giant shit on my face. Literally.
posted by MuffinMan at 7:48 AM on August 9, 2013


cortex is such a looser.
posted by cjorgensen at 7:48 AM on August 9, 2013


MuffinMan, like anyone is going to click that link.
posted by cjorgensen at 7:48 AM on August 9, 2013 [1 favorite]


Whose being figurative?
posted by 256 at 7:48 AM on August 9, 2013


More on "literally".

</out-pedant-pedants>
posted by kenko at 7:49 AM on August 9, 2013


SAFE FOR WORK. UNLESS THE WORD 'SHIT' IS VERBOTEN.
posted by MuffinMan at 7:49 AM on August 9, 2013


...where do you work that it isn't?
posted by Shepherd at 7:51 AM on August 9, 2013


Rent-a-Potty
posted by Kirth Gerson at 7:59 AM on August 9, 2013


no, they say, "customer proceeds", don't they?
posted by pyramid termite at 8:02 AM on August 9, 2013 [1 favorite]


Also as long as we're being pedantic, the question of whether literally should be used in a figurative manner does not actually have anything to do with grammar.
posted by burnmp3s at 8:05 AM on August 9, 2013 [1 favorite]


but that isn't really a question - you didn't use a question mark
posted by pyramid termite at 8:11 AM on August 9, 2013


On literally v. figuratively:

If English is determined by usage, and is subject to change over time, I think I'd prefer a general trend to lock down literally as meaning "in a literal way".

There's no need to use "literally" to mean "figuratively", even if there is precedent for it; simile generally does the job – "You are like a piece of shit, CM Punk!" – or hyperbolic declarations can be used when you trust the reader to understand the nuance – "You are a piece of shit, CM Punk!".

This frees "literally" up to be used in a singular way, to clarify that the user is stating unequivocal fact in a context where it might be easy to misunderstand what they're saying. If I'm talking to you and I say "the bouncer at the bar was literally seven feet tall," I'd like you to understand that I'm saying

(a) the bouncer at the bar was seven feet tall, even though that seems incredible, this is in fact a True Thing I am saying, and I don't want you to ask "really?" as you might if I just said "the bouncer at the bar was seven feet tall;"

and not

(b) the bouncer at the bar may or may not have been seven feet tall, because nobody knows what the hell "literally" means so I might be exaggerating or telling the truth or there might not have been a bouncer at all, because nothing makes sense any more and oh God did I even go to a bar


So, in short, if CM Punk is spearheading a moment for "literally means literally," I'm all for it.

It's also not technically grammar, but "Grammar, Spelling, Idiom and English Usage Slammer" doesn't really have a ring to it.
posted by Shepherd at 8:14 AM on August 9, 2013 [10 favorites]


Also as long as we're being pedantic, the question of whether literally should be used in a figurative manner does not actually have anything to do with grammar.

Well, by the same token getting up on the mike and telling Undertaker that this has been a long time coming and a dark day is gonna dawn when they step in the ring, so he'd better get his own effects in order because he's gonna be going into the grrRROOOOOUUUUUNNddd, you hear me, Undertaker doesn't have a lot to do with the traditional concept of wrestling. Let us not get overly literal about our entertainment.
posted by cortex at 8:27 AM on August 9, 2013 [1 favorite]


Does he use the term "wrestler" literally?
posted by MuffinMan at 8:37 AM on August 9, 2013 [1 favorite]


Every time you use "literally" figuratively a unicorn collapses into a black hole. Won't someone please think of the unicorns?
posted by rocketpup at 8:38 AM on August 9, 2013


Literally literally means literally.
posted by andreaazure at 8:44 AM on August 9, 2013


Did I notice a mistake in one of their graphics? They had 50 year-old.
posted by ambient2 at 8:54 AM on August 9, 2013


Muffinman, please, sports-entertainer is the preferred nomenclature, Dude.

careful, lest Vince hears you say the 'w' word. You'll end up at mid-card on house shows, losing to the Miz and Sin Cara.
posted by Ghidorah at 9:33 AM on August 9, 2013 [1 favorite]


Hyperbole usually accompanies the centuries old practice of "misusing" the word literally. The figurative use is more common because it isn't necessary or intuitive to say he was "literally" 7 feet tall. I just avoid using the word so I can be pedantic about all of its uses depending on my audience. You'd literally have to be the stupidest person on earth not to understand a sentence like this one.
posted by lordaych at 10:02 AM on August 9, 2013


It's also not technically grammar, but "Grammar, Spelling, Idiom and English Usage Slammer" doesn't really have a ring to it.

Actually, as this is wrestling related, it does in reality (i.e. "really") have a ring (even though it's more of a square).
posted by The 10th Regiment of Foot at 10:02 AM on August 9, 2013 [1 favorite]


If anything the more common use of "literally" reflects humanity's contrarian sarcastic nature. We don't really need the word much for its original meaning but it's fun to abuse the word and then argue about it.
posted by lordaych at 10:05 AM on August 9, 2013 [1 favorite]


I think anyone who criticizes the figurative use of literally has a problem with Rob Lowe's Chris Traeger and those who have a problem with Chris Traeger lit'rally have a problem with me.
posted by inturnaround at 10:40 AM on August 9, 2013 [1 favorite]


What say we put together a Kickstarter with the intention of funding this guy's visits to the actual homes of people who desecrate our internet with their vile grammatical messes.
posted by fredludd at 10:47 AM on August 9, 2013


My favorite take on the proper use of literally involves singing Vikings.
posted by TwoStride at 11:18 AM on August 9, 2013 [1 favorite]


Y'all need to check you're grammar privilege
posted by Joelogon at 11:30 AM on August 9, 2013


There's no need to use "literally" to mean "figuratively",

No, I think you're missing the point. The idea is that people often use the word "literally" itself in a figurative way, not as if "literally" actually means "figuratively." So for example, when people use "awesome" to mean something like "very good" rather than literally meaning to say that something inspires awe or fear, they are using it in a way similar to how people use "literally" when they don't actually mean literally. Basically, it's a form of hyperbole: To make a point, a person figuratively uses "literally" to mean "almost literally" by way of hyperbole.

Absolutely within the bounds of established proper language use, though I agree, it's still kind of extremely annoying.
posted by saulgoodman at 12:19 PM on August 9, 2013 [1 favorite]


Basically, it's a form of hyperbole: To make a point, a person figuratively uses "literally" to mean "almost literally" by way of hyperbole.

Well. that's somewhat unique.
posted by Kirth Gerson at 1:56 PM on August 9, 2013


I literally peed myself laughing over this.
posted by saulgoodman at 2:00 PM on August 9, 2013


Every time you use "literally" figuratively a unicorn collapses into a black hole.

But that's why I use "literally" figuratively—literally millions of time a day! Won't someone think of the black holes?
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 2:43 PM on August 9, 2013 [1 favorite]


I had no idea CM Punk was a such a grammar guy. No wonder he hates Chris Brown.
posted by jenlovesponies at 3:52 PM on August 9, 2013


Who doesn't hate Chris Brown? I think it's pretty clear that even Chris Brown hates Chris Brown.
posted by cjorgensen at 6:19 PM on August 9, 2013


OxfordWords blog on "literally." Spoiler: it's been used figuratively at least as far back as 1769.
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 12:41 PM on August 22, 2013


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