Join 3,495 readers in helping fund MetaFilter (Hide)


Bump.
August 9, 2013 12:50 PM   Subscribe

Trolling Ram meets Dirtbike. Hilarity ensues.
posted by sweet mister (50 comments total) 27 users marked this as a favorite

 
Rams. Apparently they can teleport.
posted by Iridic at 12:58 PM on August 9, 2013 [1 favorite]


Shit that was funny. I was a little worried about the rider; the sharp, forward-pointing horns on that ram could really ruin your day if he gored you in the thigh with one.
posted by Aizkolari at 12:58 PM on August 9, 2013


Nice metaphor for life, isn't it? Some days you're the ram, other days you're the motorcyclist.
posted by NoMich at 1:00 PM on August 9, 2013 [3 favorites]


Some days you eat the bar...
posted by Steely-eyed Missile Man at 1:02 PM on August 9, 2013 [1 favorite]


I need a ram upgrade in my life...
posted by Devonian at 1:03 PM on August 9, 2013 [1 favorite]


Yeah, enjoyed that
posted by 13twelve at 1:04 PM on August 9, 2013


My husband and I are in the process of designing promotional t-shirts for our motorcycle shop. We're working with "Touring tip #15: moose are jerks". I'm thinking of amending in a smaller font, "Rams too."
posted by workerant at 1:05 PM on August 9, 2013 [3 favorites]


Hey man, this is the internet, you don't need to bleep out our swears any more!
posted by bondcliff at 1:07 PM on August 9, 2013


le master trole XDXDXDXDXDXD
posted by Ad hominem at 1:10 PM on August 9, 2013


Some days you just can't get rid of a ram.
posted by Noms_Tiem at 1:12 PM on August 9, 2013 [3 favorites]


I wasn't there, but it seemed to me that could have ended sooner by him slowly walking the bike in a way that concealed the handlebar-horn illusion, plus a bit of sweet talk to the goat.
posted by planetesimal at 1:15 PM on August 9, 2013 [1 favorite]


Best part is when the motorcyclist gives up and runs away.
posted by PipRuss at 1:15 PM on August 9, 2013 [5 favorites]


There's a point where the goat makes it more personal, is what I'm saying.
posted by planetesimal at 1:17 PM on August 9, 2013


I really wanted this to end with the biker riding down the road away from the ram and into a gang of waiting ewes and the last thing we hear is '...clever girls.'
posted by permafrost at 1:23 PM on August 9, 2013 [4 favorites]


Maybe that was a tiny motorcycle and rider but man, I cannot imagine a ram stopping my old Honda 600 XR. Being a kind and vegetarian soul, I'd try to reason with it but by the third attempt it'd be a baaaaad baaaaad day to be a sheep.
posted by Purposeful Grimace at 1:24 PM on August 9, 2013


When hilarity calls the Benny Hill sound track always answers.
posted by Gwynarra at 1:25 PM on August 9, 2013 [3 favorites]


The ram is a weird combination of dangerously powerful and pretty dumb. It could have really messed that guy up but in the end it was scared off with a long stick.
posted by GuyZero at 1:26 PM on August 9, 2013 [2 favorites]


For a brief moment, at :51, I thought they made up and he was petting the ram.
posted by MoxieProxy at 1:29 PM on August 9, 2013 [5 favorites]


I thought this was Farcry 3
posted by Foci for Analysis at 1:32 PM on August 9, 2013 [1 favorite]


Poom !
posted by seawallrunner at 1:33 PM on August 9, 2013 [8 favorites]


I need a ram upgrade in my life...

O hai.
posted by The Bellman at 1:33 PM on August 9, 2013


slowly walking the bike in a way that concealed the handlebar-horn illusion

I'm not sure it was the handlebars that were ticking the ram off. He seemed to be going after the rider on foot as well. Seemed like it was just his turf and he didn't want anyone else venturing onto it.
posted by Kadin2048 at 1:34 PM on August 9, 2013


The farm my daughter kept her horse at a few years ago had a goat with horns. The goat put me on my ass several times (and left large bruises) by ramming me from behind when I wasn't watching for it. That goat probably weighes less than 1/2 of what that ram does. It could do some damage.
posted by COD at 1:35 PM on August 9, 2013


My husband and I are in the process of designing promotional t-shirts for our motorcycle shop. We're working with "Touring tip #15: moose are jerks". I'm thinking of amending in a smaller font, "Rams too."

Also.
posted by brundlefly at 1:40 PM on August 9, 2013 [1 favorite]


I love how the ram's windup sometimes consists of actually turning around in circles.
posted by mudpuppie at 1:48 PM on August 9, 2013 [3 favorites]


Steely-eyed Missile Man: "Some days you eat the bar..."

...And some days the bar ram you?
posted by KChasm at 2:00 PM on August 9, 2013 [3 favorites]


it was scared off with a long stick.

Stick? That was a wand: expelliarmus ovinius!
posted by yoink at 2:06 PM on August 9, 2013 [2 favorites]


I just finished a rather long offroad motorcycle trip. I often found myself riding through herds of cattle. Kinda freaked me out the first few times (cows are HUGE) but luckily the cows would move off the road and let me pass. I'm not really sure what I would have done if one of the cows decided to hold her ground and not let me pass.
posted by mollymayhem at 2:26 PM on August 9, 2013 [1 favorite]


Meeeeeeeeh.
posted by I'm Doing the Dishes at 2:37 PM on August 9, 2013


I wanna redo my comment, I fucked up. Should have been.


le master trole }XD }XD }XD }XD }XD
posted by Ad hominem at 3:09 PM on August 9, 2013


I've run across a herd of deer while mountain biking that would not get out of my way. Eventually they meandered off the trail.
posted by hydrophonic at 3:12 PM on August 9, 2013


He's trying to dodge the ram.

Er, I'll get my coat
posted by BlueMarble72 at 3:14 PM on August 9, 2013 [1 favorite]


"It's funny but I wish it were even more humorous."
"YACKITY SAX."
posted by Foam Pants at 3:14 PM on August 9, 2013


We raised Navajo-Churro sheep for about 16 years. Fucking rams... Not only did they have the curl, some had four horns.
posted by jgaiser at 3:15 PM on August 9, 2013 [2 favorites]


I'm not really sure what I would have done if one of the cows decided to hold her ground and not let me pass.

There are very many ranch pickups with door panels that have been head-butted or kicked-in. Livestock generally aren't the smartest creatures in the world and can have a nasty mean streak. Except for goats -- goats have a dark sense of humor and will screw with you for a laugh.
posted by nathan_teske at 3:28 PM on August 9, 2013 [1 favorite]


The new "random favorite" API is making me use favorites more. I definitely want to see that again in 3 years.
posted by nosila at 3:48 PM on August 9, 2013 [1 favorite]


With the right stick, you can move the world
posted by angrycat at 4:04 PM on August 9, 2013


Wait so animals actually do put their heads down and paw at the ground before charging?
posted by PenDevil at 4:11 PM on August 9, 2013 [3 favorites]


When I was a kid I worked on a ranch in Oregon, just outside Sutherlin*. At one point someone brought a white baby goat to the ranch, just for kicks I guess. Anyway, I was young and stupid and thought that it would be good fun to have a head butting contest with the cute little guy. After work I'd sit out in the yard with this goat, scratching him behind the ears and knocking my head against his and laughing my ass off.

It wasn't long until the little guy grew a bit, and his horns started to protrude from his head - cute little nubbins of horn. But they rapidly got larger, and so did he. I had taught him what a good time it was to ram his head into people, and though I tried to keep up the game with him my cranium was not up to the task.

After some time he was full grown - a beautiful solid-white goat with a beard and wattles and two great sloping horns. Every time I'd walk into the yard he'd trot over to me and butt his head against my thigh, trying to entice me to play with him. I was very fond of him, so I'd push his head with my hands for a few minutes, then scratch him behind the ears and feed him some of whatever I might be eating. I guess he eventually got tired of the small time though, 'cause after a while he wouldn't come and greet me in the yard anymore. Instead he'd hide somewhere until I wasn't looking, then come shooting out of his hiding place and ram his head into my legs, knocking me over. At first it was funny, but it became pretty annoying after a while, not to mention painful.

Then he started doing this to other people, too. He seemed to take great joy in seeing humans knocked to the ground, sputtering and cursing in pain, scrambling to get back to their feet before he could make another charge. He'd do that weird little goat-jump those animals sometimes do when they're happy, flinging himself around the yard while the object of his fun scrambled to get out the gate and away from him.

There was talk of slaughtering him, eating his meat, not out of spite but for the safety of everyone on the ranch. Frank, a ranch hand from Amarillo, TX, though he might like to keep the goat's skull for his trailer. "It'd look good above the door," he declared. I was solidly against any course of action that might harm the goat, partially because I liked him and partially because it was me who'd taught him to behave in the way that had everyone so worried. Eventually I had to arrange a new home for him; one that would not eventually lead to slaughter for that lovely animal.

Anyway, I just wanted to say that yes, my little goat friend had a fearsome strong head, and was more than capable of knocking over a fully-grown man. Rams are bigger than goats, and presumably a lot more powerful. Wouldn't surprise me too much if he'd damaged that guy's dirt bike in some way.

*Sutherlin? Anyone? Probably not...
posted by Pecinpah at 5:06 PM on August 9, 2013 [9 favorites]


I've been to Sutherlin!

My parents have about a dozen pigmy goats at any one time, and the largest is a sizeable, jet-black male with crazy horns named Ivan, for Ivan the Terrible. He's called that because he's an asshole.
posted by Chutzler at 5:15 PM on August 9, 2013 [3 favorites]


I was concerned for the ram, then I was concerned for the rider, then Yakety Sax starts up and all my concern was instantly washed away.
posted by Lukenlogs at 5:31 PM on August 9, 2013


Important note... Don't grab his horns... Just don't. This is like saying fuck you i will fuck you up... But you are a monkey and the goat DOES have horns.
posted by mrgroweler at 8:57 PM on August 9, 2013


He should just leap over the ram, like a Minoan bull dancer.
posted by homunculus at 9:20 PM on August 9, 2013


Okay, I give up. I am never going to be able to stem the tide of the rest of the world misusing the word "Troll".
posted by Decani at 2:29 AM on August 10, 2013 [5 favorites]


We raised Navajo-Churro sheep for about 16 years. Fucking rams... Not only did they have the curl, some had four horns.

jgaiser, I currently raise Navajo-Churro. Great animals.

Always be aware of where the ram is located. I have only been butted once, but it was in the thigh, it smarted, and left a nice bruise.
posted by terrapin at 5:24 AM on August 10, 2013 [1 favorite]


That was really funny. But speaking as a person who has both a dirtbike and a ram, he was pretty incompetent and made a situation out of nothing (hooray).

Oh, and Yakety Sax, always good for a laugh.
posted by wilful at 5:58 AM on August 10, 2013


Boinging llama keeps sheep in order
posted by homunculus at 12:02 PM on August 10, 2013 [3 favorites]


Boinging llama keeps sheep in order
Great, now my reincarnation wishlist is all messed up.... boing boing boing
posted by NoRelation at 3:35 PM on August 10, 2013


Best Use For A Yoga Ball
posted by homunculus at 10:17 AM on August 17, 2013


Police warned to keep distance from goat on rooftop that ‘only respects one man’
posted by homunculus at 9:44 AM on August 31, 2013


« Older “You know a storm is going to be bad, people in Ok...  |  You! The Musical! is a group o... Newer »


This thread has been archived and is closed to new comments