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'Ploughboy's Lunch, Harry, please'
August 12, 2013 4:39 AM   Subscribe

'The ploughman's lunch is a UK pub meal who's core components are cheese, chutney, and bread. It can also include such items as boiled eggs, ham, and pickled onions, and is accompanied with beer.'

The name evokes a historic provenance, but the phrase is believed to date no further back than the 1950s, when the Cheese Bureau began promoting the meal in pubs as a way to increase the sales of cheese, which had recently ceased to be rationed.

The July 1956 Monthly Bulletin of the Brewers' Society, describes the activities of the Cheese Bureau as existing:
"for the admirable purpose of popularising cheese and, as a corollary, the public house lunch of bread, beer, cheese and pickle. This traditional combination was broken by rationing; the Cheese Bureau hopes, by demonstrating the natural affinity of the two parties, to effect a remarriage."
posted by panaceanot (92 comments total) 31 users marked this as a favorite

 
Pronounced "plaahmin's", of course.
posted by pipeski at 4:55 AM on August 12, 2013 [1 favorite]


Our first trip to England we drove from London through the New Forest and saw horses, cattle, and some pigs by the roadside. We stopped for lunch in a nearby pub; the very first one we'd ever been in. Locals were eating there with their dogs at their feet. We had a table near a fireplace and had our first ploughman's lunch and pint of real ale. The entire day was heavenly and I can't wait to go back sometime soon.
posted by dukes909 at 5:01 AM on August 12, 2013 [11 favorites]


I have it on good authority (an item on Radio 4 about 15 years ago... probably) that a real ploughman would probably enjoy a Mars bar and a can of Special Brew for lunch.

The pub version can be completely delicious, though to my mind the pickled onion is mandatory, not optional.
posted by ZipRibbons at 5:09 AM on August 12, 2013 [6 favorites]


We stopped for lunch in a nearby pub; the very first one we'd ever been in. Locals were eating there with their dogs at their feet.

Once upon a time, they used to use dogs to turn the spit in pubs.

Did they tell you that?

The entire day was heavenly and I can't wait to go back sometime soon.

This is a true fact in my experience too.
posted by Mezentian at 5:18 AM on August 12, 2013 [1 favorite]


Specifically, the chutney is a type called ploughnman's pickle
posted by Flashman at 5:21 AM on August 12, 2013


That looks incredibly hearty.
posted by codacorolla at 5:22 AM on August 12, 2013


OMG English cheese. So good. So sad it had to stay rationed longer than other things. I could really go for a proper, fresh Stilton right now.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 5:28 AM on August 12, 2013 [3 favorites]


Once upon a time, they used to use dogs to turn the spit in pubs.

Apparently there was a special breed devoted to this purpose: the now extinct turnspit dog, attested to in (among other documents) Bingley's indispensable Memoirs of British Quadrupeds.
posted by A Thousand Baited Hooks at 5:29 AM on August 12, 2013 [19 favorites]


Pickle? Since 1922, Branston Original Pickle
posted by Mister Bijou at 5:39 AM on August 12, 2013 [5 favorites]


Thank you A Thousand Baited Hooks. I was trying to remember what they were called.

Because I have to turn my own spit, like a chump.
posted by Mezentian at 5:39 AM on August 12, 2013 [1 favorite]


Apparently there was a special breed devoted to this purpose

"Oi, 'Enry, the dog's lost 'is stand-up-n-holler. The meat's gettin' all charred up on one side!"
"Throw another bleedin' blood puddin' biscuit in the trap, love, I ain't got all day to be pokin' the damn thing with a stick, 'ave I?"
posted by codacorolla at 5:57 AM on August 12, 2013 [1 favorite]


The name evokes a historic provenance

Well, not so much in England, where every pub bore from Launceston to Lancaster tells you the amazing fact that the ploughman's you've just ordered is not a traditional lunch.

In case the small bunch of grapes, cherry tomatoes and baguette on the plate didn't give it away.
posted by MuffinMan at 6:02 AM on August 12, 2013 [4 favorites]


OMG English cheese. So good. So sad it had to stay rationed longer than other things. I could really go for a proper, fresh Stilton right now.

I... think rationing has been ended for some time, so you probably can get Stilton now...
posted by GenjiandProust at 6:07 AM on August 12, 2013 [10 favorites]


Stinking Bishop is pretty awesome.
posted by srboisvert at 6:08 AM on August 12, 2013


MuffinMan, do you know the muffin man, who lives on Drury Lane?

It seems an appropriate question to ask in this epicurean discussion.
posted by Mezentian at 6:12 AM on August 12, 2013 [2 favorites]


Our first trip to England we drove from London through the New Forest and saw horses, cattle, and some pigs by the roadside

It took me some time, after reading this comment, to work out what about driving down the road and grabbing lunch appears so unusual and magical to a non-English person.

I'm still wondering, surely you have horses and cows and pigs in the US?
posted by emilyw at 6:13 AM on August 12, 2013 [8 favorites]


I can't find it now but they interviewed three actual champion ploughmen some years ago who all said the normal pub ploughman's represented around a tenth of what they normally ate for lunch.
posted by Segundus at 6:14 AM on August 12, 2013


MuffinMan, do you know the muffin man, who lives on Drury Lane?

He's not on Drury Lane any more. He moved down to an industrial unit off Nine Elms Lane in the mid seventies.
posted by MuffinMan at 6:18 AM on August 12, 2013 [17 favorites]


It's the same ingredients as pizza, except the tomato (there are non-tomato pizzas).
posted by stbalbach at 6:26 AM on August 12, 2013


I'm still wondering, surely you have horses and cows and pigs in the US?


Yes but due to automation, trucking and sanitation it is only with special training and safety equipment that only specialists are allowed within several hundred miles. There are petting zoos for small children but the actual animals are being replaced wit animatronic bunnies and such for safety. Germs and bugs you know.
posted by sammyo at 6:28 AM on August 12, 2013 [3 favorites]


I'm still wondering, surely you have horses and cows and pigs in the US?

No, for we are a nation of Men. Although we certainly enjoy visiting the hobbits in the Shire from time to time.
posted by Nelson at 6:43 AM on August 12, 2013 [10 favorites]


Although we certainly enjoy visiting the hobbits in the Shire from time to time.

Nelson, that is the most epony... that thing.
posted by Mezentian at 6:53 AM on August 12, 2013


I grew up just down the road from Branston. Now I'm homesick and hungry, so very hungry...
posted by arcticseal at 6:56 AM on August 12, 2013 [1 favorite]


1983 Film of the same name, about politics and journalism during the Thatcher era. I think the title is meant to have a negative implication, as in something that is contrived and manufactured, but which is presented to the public as something that is old and authentic. Politics aside, I could go for cheese chutney and bread. I could go for that right now.
posted by ovvl at 7:02 AM on August 12, 2013 [1 favorite]


If you think those pictures represent what you will get in a typical pub, you will be sorely disappointed.

The objects in the 3rd picture towards the centre of the board are Scotch Eggs (not particularly consumed in Scotland I might add). A hard boiled egg, encased in sausage meat and coated in breadcrumbs, generally eaten cold but sometimes (especially in Scotland) reheated by being deep fried in oil. A masterpiece of British junk food. A few years ago we had a group of US colleagues over from California for a department meeting, they were ahem, egging each other on to try one as though it were Russian Roulette or something.
posted by epo at 7:12 AM on August 12, 2013 [1 favorite]


Fun facts about British cheese:
1. Britain’s “innovation score” of 11.4 cheese variants for every million people puts it ahead of Switzerland with 9.6 types of cheese per 1m people, and France with 9.2.

According to Juliet Harbutt, a global authority on cheese who organises the British Cheese Awards, about 700 varieties now boast a Made in Britain label – 100 more varieties than France produces, and twice as many as Italy. [FT, registration required]
2. However, one of those cheese might be Cheddar with Mint Choc Chips and Cherries. Yuk. [QI]
3. Cornish Yarg came from a recipe found in a book in a farmer's attic - his name was Mr Gray (Yarg spelt backwards). [British Cheese Board]
4. 900 cheeses from around 190 cheese makers are expected to enter the British Cheese Awards in 2013. Of these, only 30% will win Medals. [Juliet Harbutt]
5. This time next month we'll be in the middle of British Cheese Week. [Juliet Harbutt]
6. Cheese consumption has increased 0.2% over the past year and has recorded a 5.7% increase over the past ten years. [DEFRA]
7. The British consume around 700,000 tonnes of cheese a year (including fromage frais). This equates to 11 kgs per person per year or just 30 grams per person per day - roughly half the daily amount consumed in continental European countries like France, Italy and Greece. [British Cheese Board, PDF]
8. When Stilton was awarded Protected Designation of Origin status by the EU one of the criteria was that it had to use pasteurised cows' milk. Since 2006, a new Stilton-style cheese called Stichelton has been made from unpasteurised milk, The name comes from a form of the name of Stilton village in the 1086 Domesday Book. [Wikipedia]
9. It has been estimated that a century ago there were several thousand independent cheese makers in the UK. After the second world war, the number fell to fewer than 150. [Santander]
10. Stinking Bishop cheese has only been produced since 1972, and is named after a type of pear. [Stinking Bishop]
posted by MuffinMan at 7:22 AM on August 12, 2013 [16 favorites]


I have never before seen this thing called a Scotch egg! That looks like a meal in itself, a deliciously hearty protein-fest. Having googled it now, I plan to make it very soon (vegetarian version). I can see eating it with chutney too but the recipes all look sweet, is that the way it is? It seems to me some spice would be nice there - kimchi or a fiery slaw.
posted by headnsouth at 7:23 AM on August 12, 2013 [1 favorite]


Fun facts about British cheese:

ZFrank?
posted by Mezentian at 7:30 AM on August 12, 2013


If I may so boldly add an elevensie to MuffinMan's list:
11. In the 1990s, sales of Wensleydale cheese had fallen so low that production was at risk of being suspended. However, the popular Wallace and Gromit animated shorts A Grand Day Out and A Close Shave had the main character Wallace, a cheese connoisseur, mention Wensleydale as a particularly favourite cheese. Animator Nick Park chose it solely because it had a good name that would be interesting to animate, unaware of the company's financial difficulties.
The name does roll off of the tongue well, I can see why it was chosen. I'm trying to remember if I've had it; if I had, it was during my fuzzy years ... post Wallace and Gromit success, of course.
posted by tilde at 7:31 AM on August 12, 2013 [3 favorites]


Pickle? Since 1922, Branston Original Pickle

I've ordered a couple of jars of this online before. It is great. Also recently a couple of us have been introduced to real English mustard. About which I have to say... wow.

They sell English mustard in some grocery stores (Colman's is the brand we've seen around here) but that doesn't compare. A friend who works in a five-star restaurant can sometimes obtain some of the powdered English mustard, it turns out, made from mustard flour, which is mixed with water. It is very very strong, the wasabi of mustard. It is fun to offer someone a tiny bit of the mixture on the end of a spoon and watch their reaction, although never more than that, not even if it would be humorous if their first encounter with the Yellow Peril were more over-the-top. I am not cruel. It is the duty of those who know to protect those who don't. More than once I've remarked there's a reason it rhymes with bastard.

I eat it on hamburgers now. You have to be careful with it; a thin layer of paste, just enough to turn the bread yellow in an even layer. If it's a very thick burger then I can afford to put more on, but even so, mark my words -- TREAT ENGLISH MUSTARD WITH RESPECT, OR ENGLISH MUSTARD WILL DESTROY YOU.
posted by JHarris at 7:34 AM on August 12, 2013 [6 favorites]


We have the Montgomery Cheddar from Somerset at work right now and it is STUPID good. They even got some blue veining into it...ridiculously tasty.
posted by lazaruslong at 7:36 AM on August 12, 2013


headnsouth: well spotted, the chutney is intended for the cheese side of the meal, I usually accompany my scotch eggs with mustard. Not sure about kimchi but it could go well with a veggie concoction. Of course, if you want to get really fancy you could try quail scotch eggs
posted by epo at 7:37 AM on August 12, 2013 [1 favorite]


In the 1990s, sales of Wensleydale

Yes? Oh! I thought you were talking to me, sir. Mister Wensleydale, that's my name.
posted by Naberius at 7:37 AM on August 12, 2013 [5 favorites]


A modified version of this is one of my favorite lunches ever. I first had it when I was pretty much flat broke on a vacation in Montreal - I was going to get my paycheck deposited into my checking account on my 3rd day there, but on my first day there I realized I had only about fifteen bucks. So with a whole day to go before I got paid, I set aside ten for dinner that night, and decided to spend the day hiking Mont Royal, and having a carefully-budgeted picnic based on Things I Could Find In A Supermarket, which turned out to be one very carefully-selected apple, one single crusty roll, and a small wedge of sharp Cheddar-ish cheese. No chutney, no pickle.

Turns out I'd really lucked out with the apple - it was a really good tart crispy one - and I cannot begin to tell you how good it tasted while sitting on the top of Mont Royal on a crisp Quebec early fall day after a gentle hike. I still go with that for a lunch every now and then in the fall - a roll, a single apple, and some really good Cheddary cheese.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 7:38 AM on August 12, 2013 [8 favorites]


Oooh... those pictures of ploughman's lunches look terrific.
posted by JHarris at 7:41 AM on August 12, 2013


Vegetarian scotch egg, (if your lucky youll get it hot with the egg yolk still a bit runny)? Fresh Stilton? Certainly wont be lunching with you chaps and chapesses.
And as for Branstons, its the sandwich pickle you want (smaller chunks), two doorstep slices of bloomer and as mature a cheddar as you can find. And if your lucky a slice of pork pie (controversial eh!).
posted by PaddyJames at 7:44 AM on August 12, 2013 [1 favorite]


If a massive scotch egg puts you off, you really need to try these mini quail scotch eggs. With runny yolk. Yum
posted by derbs at 7:44 AM on August 12, 2013 [1 favorite]


Ooh sorry epo, you beat me to it!
posted by derbs at 7:48 AM on August 12, 2013


And if your lucky a slice of pork pie (controversial eh!).

....You've just given me an idea for making up some pork hand pies or other meat pies to keep in the freezer this fall for quick lunches. I may even be able to get my grandmother's recipe for tourtiere to play with.

yes I am introducing a French Canadian element into the ploughman's lunch i don't care my ancestry is varied shut up
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 7:55 AM on August 12, 2013 [2 favorites]


tilde wrote: In the 1990s, sales of Wensleydale cheese had fallen so low that production was at risk of being suspended.

That's a fun tale about the trials and tribulations of one company, Wensleydale Creamery. However, Wensleydale, in the Yorkshire Dales, is a region where cheese has been made in the area since 1150. Like all cheese production during WW2, it came to an almost total halt, but then picked up again several years after the war ended. Oh, and in the UK, Wensleydale was/is also made in other parts of the UK, mainly in Shropshire and Cheshire. A bit like most 'cheddar' is made anywhere but Cheddar, Somerset.
posted by Mister Bijou at 7:56 AM on August 12, 2013 [2 favorites]


derbs, your recipe from the Blessed Jamie, looks better than the one I linked to.
posted by epo at 8:00 AM on August 12, 2013


Most of those are party buffets rather than ploughman's. Some of them have brie on. Brie.
posted by Summer at 8:01 AM on August 12, 2013 [1 favorite]


I picked up my love for British cheese while eating ploughman's lunch in pubs with my parents while we were exploring the north of England in the early 80s. Also I rarely finish a jar, but occasionally I still crave Branston pickle, preferably with Welsh rarebit.
posted by immlass at 8:27 AM on August 12, 2013


We have the Montgomery Cheddar from Somerset at work right now and it is STUPID good.

That stuff is kinda incredible. If the flavour doesn't bring tears to your eyes, the price tag will...
posted by ZipRibbons at 8:37 AM on August 12, 2013 [1 favorite]


I love scotch eggs, unfortunately they're hard to find here in Houston apart from a few British-themed pubs.
posted by mrbill at 8:42 AM on August 12, 2013


Oh hey, in France those are called cheese plates and they come with a crap-ton of delicious delicious cheese, little cornichons, beautiful French bread and occasionally a nice jam. Oh boy, hungry for the Continent again.
posted by Mooseli at 8:46 AM on August 12, 2013


I plan to make it very soon (vegetarian version).

I make Scotch Eggs every year for Burns Night, and I've discovered that Gimme Lean faux-sausage is very, very good for a veggie version -- so good, in fact, that many of my meat-eating friends actually prefer it to meat sausage!
posted by Greg Nog at 8:50 AM on August 12, 2013 [2 favorites]


Oh hey, in France those are called cheese plates and they come with a crap-ton of delicious delicious cheese, little cornichons, beautiful French bread and occasionally a nice jam. Oh boy, hungry for the Continent again.

The only recourse for the vegetarian in France.
posted by Summer at 8:54 AM on August 12, 2013 [1 favorite]


Oh, and in terms of a little bit of heat, I think Scotch Eggs are amazingly good dipped in chipotle-garlic mayo, which isn't exactly traditional, but is delicious.

Of course, if you want to get really fancy you could try quail scotch eggs

I've made these! I actually prefer the lower-egg/higher-bread-and-sausage ratio they provide, but since quail eggs are fairly expensive (especially when cooking for a crowd), I tend to instead just use chicken eggs that I cut in half after hard-boiling, instead of using a whole egg.
posted by Greg Nog at 8:55 AM on August 12, 2013 [1 favorite]


Ploughman's Lunch - the movie.

"a completely successful fabrication of the past"

part one ...
posted by philip-random at 8:55 AM on August 12, 2013


Oh man, I love a good Ploughmans.

How did I ever live my life without Scotch eggs, Pork pies, Farmhouse Cheddar or Lancashire, a good chutney (that the English can do better than the Continent), and perhaps some Gloucester Old Spot ham on granary bread?

And all washed down with pint of ale, of course.
posted by vacapinta at 9:03 AM on August 12, 2013 [2 favorites]


Oh man, scotch eggs are great. An ex introduced them to me as a camping food served cold the second day out and I've been making them ever since.
posted by Mitheral at 9:04 AM on August 12, 2013 [1 favorite]


"a completely successful fabrication of the past"

Ah, yes. For more about other successes: The Invention of Tradition, edited by Eric Hobsbawm and Terence Ranger
posted by Mister Bijou at 9:15 AM on August 12, 2013 [1 favorite]


Better than Branstons? Indeed !
posted by PaddyJames at 9:23 AM on August 12, 2013


My sister-in-law lives in Billericay; my in-laws go over a few times a year and insist on bringing us home jars of ploughman's pickle. Seriously, I have, like, three unopened jars in my pantry right now.
posted by Kitteh at 9:26 AM on August 12, 2013


Things that I did not know existed before today:

1) The Cheese Bureau
2) Memoirs of British Quadrapeds

So, a productive day so far.
posted by dry white toast at 9:26 AM on August 12, 2013 [3 favorites]



We stopped for lunch in a nearby pub; the very first one we'd ever been in. Locals were eating there with their dogs at their feet.

Once upon a time, they used to use dogs to turn the spit in pubs.


A ploughman's lunch beats a dog's breakfast any day.
 
posted by Herodios at 9:34 AM on August 12, 2013 [2 favorites]


I still don't know if I believe in this turnspit dog. Is the wiki page one of those that are supposed to teach you to trust nothing?

(I'm not totally skeptical, but the complete loss of the breed sounds unlikely. And the picture of the stuffed one is just too perfect.)


And now I want some cheese and chutney, even if not in the almost-traditional ploughman's lunch. Fun post.
posted by jclarkin at 9:43 AM on August 12, 2013 [1 favorite]


I'm still wondering, surely you have horses and cows and pigs in the US?

Yes, of course, but not crossing the road halting traffic. Dogs in restaurants? Not common. Footpaths between towns? Haha... This was a common view during my daily commute for years so, yeah, driving through the New Forest to a pub was pretty neat. We've traveled to the UK several times since, and the ploughman's lunch is still my favorite.
posted by dukes909 at 9:45 AM on August 12, 2013


There's a place in Toronto called The Federal that serves a ploughman's lunch. It's delicious. However, it's not in the least bit filling and I fear any ploughman who breaks to eat there will collapse, famished, later in the day. They should call it the ploughinfant's snack.
posted by dobbs at 9:51 AM on August 12, 2013 [1 favorite]


(I'm not totally skeptical, but the complete loss of the breed sounds unlikely. And the picture of the stuffed one is just too perfect.)

It's estimated that hundreds of domestic animal breeds have gone extinct in just the past hundred years. These are mostly livestock breeds but dogs are included as they have always been bred for specific purposes. Once there becomes no use for the breed whether due to the job disappearing or breeds that meet the current economic need better then people just stop breeding them. Whole cultures disappearing or being assimilated have also meant the loss of breeds they used.

I have both chickens and ducks that are considered rare and endangered farm breeds. They were once plentiful but now don't meet the needs of industrial factory farms.
posted by Jalliah at 10:20 AM on August 12, 2013 [3 favorites]



Oops forgot the link in the above post. Other extinct dog breeds.
posted by Jalliah at 10:22 AM on August 12, 2013


To be fair, most of the pictures are better described thus:
in France those are called cheese plates and they come with a crap-ton of delicious delicious cheese, little cornichons, beautiful French bread and occasionally a nice jam than as a Ploughman's Lunch.

That one with two slices of bread, some hunks of cheddar and a sliced onion just needed a bit of lettuce and some Branston to be proper. Which reminds me of a sad story told by a friend about her dad, who had to go to work on a farm pre-WW1 at the age of 14 or so. He was given his lunch in a handkerchief to take with him every day, it was a hunk of bread and some cheese and an onion. But he wasn't to eat the cheese till Friday, poor lad.

I never knew that about Yarg. Yaaarrrgg! It sounds so piratey, just right for Cornwall. That's the one with a green skin from the nettle leaves, right? God, I thought it was centuries old, now it turns out to be a gimmick - just like these brie and salami Ploughmen.
posted by glasseyes at 10:23 AM on August 12, 2013


I think there's something weird about sheep in the Forest of Dean, they're allowed to roam wherever they like or something. I was looking it up just now but came across this instead:

On 26 April 1889, four Frenchmen and their two bears were making their way to Ruardean, having performed in Cinderford. They were attacked by an angry mob, enraged by claims that the bears had killed a child and injured a woman. The bears were killed and the Frenchmen badly beaten.

It soon became clear that the bears had not attacked anyone. Police proceedings followed and a week later 13 colliers and labourers appeared before magistrates at Littledean, charged with ill-treating and killing the bears and assaulting the Frenchmen. All but two were found guilty on one or more charges, with another convicted a week later. A total of £85 was paid in fines - a huge sum in those days. A subscription was also launched which generously compensated the Frenchmen.

The term 'Who killed the bears?' existed for many years as an insult, directed particularly towards the people of Ruardean - despite the fact that all those convicted were from Cinderford.[14]


It only remains to add - Metafilter: who killed the bears?
posted by glasseyes at 10:30 AM on August 12, 2013 [4 favorites]


I think there's something weird about sheep in the Forest of Dean, they're allowed to roam wherever they like or something

There are wild boars in the Forest of Dean. Some say too many....
posted by vacapinta at 10:35 AM on August 12, 2013


Weird place. Only been there once - yes we did nearly hit a sheep driving. Dennis Potter's The Singing Detective has a magical, if dark and skewed, evocation. Dark and skewed, like all the best stories.

I found the bit about the sheep:
If born within the hundred of St Briavels, an ancient administrative area covering most of what is now considered the Forest of Dean, one is classed as a true Forester. This classification bestows a unique right for (traditionally) males who are over 21 and have worked in a mine for a year and a day — they can register to be a freeminer. These ancient rights that were put on the statute books in the Dean Forest (Mines) Act 1838, the only public act to affect private individuals[citation needed].Residents of the hundred who are over 18 can also graze sheep in the Forest in accordance with an agreement between the Forestry Commission and the Commoners Association.

In October 2010, for the first time, a woman won the right to be classified as a Freeminer. Elaine Morman, an employee at Clearwell Caves in the Forest, who had worked as a miner of ochre for a number of years, raised a claim of sexual discrimination against the Forestry Commission. After Mark Harper MP raised the matter in the House of Commons, the Forestry Commission reversed its position and agreed to register her.

posted by glasseyes at 10:46 AM on August 12, 2013


I was inspired by this thread to pop into town and get some garlic yarg, a hand crafted pork pie and some fresh bread, along with some less traditional items for a very tasty lunch. Incidentally, garlic yarg, was actually named after Carli G., Gray's daughter.
posted by biffa at 11:19 AM on August 12, 2013


I like that fake rustic deal as much as anyone but I think I'd be pretty bummed if a restaurant charged me money to stick an unprepared whole tomato on a plate. Knife it up for me, man... come on!
posted by SharkParty at 11:25 AM on August 12, 2013 [3 favorites]


1) The Cheese Bureau
2) Memoirs of British Quadrapeds


Not sure if these should be band names or hard-core porn features....
posted by potsmokinghippieoverlord at 11:28 AM on August 12, 2013 [1 favorite]


scotch eggs are my perfect meal. most places i've been to in the states - ranging from small, scrappy, authentic-uk-soul-food places, to big-box-chain-style places - have served their scotch eggs with hot sauce. wow, that's good. i'm gonna go get one tonight.
posted by rude.boy at 11:30 AM on August 12, 2013


Branston Pickle on a roast beef sandwich. Delightful. Or on sausage rolls.

(My wife finds Branston one of Those Awful Substances. It is an acquired taste.)
posted by maxwelton at 12:08 PM on August 12, 2013 [1 favorite]


This thread inspired me to have cold chicken, Branston's and a wangy Stilton for dinner. However, I have an emergency as I AM OUT OF BEER.
posted by Emperor SnooKloze at 12:17 PM on August 12, 2013 [2 favorites]


driving through the New Forest to a pub was pretty neat

You'd be impressed by the way I get to the pub from my house, then: I walk for half an hour along a stream in the woods. It looks like this.
posted by emilyw at 1:17 PM on August 12, 2013 [2 favorites]


Cheese? British cheese?
posted by theora55 at 2:04 PM on August 12, 2013


I think I'd be pretty bummed if a restaurant charged me money to stick an unprepared whole tomato on a plate

When tomatoes come into season I take a whole tomato to work all the time and eat it like an apple. Slicing it up just makes it harder to eat.

Whole sweet peppers (Mmm, cubanelles) are also excellent this way. Keeps them crispy.
posted by Mitheral at 2:05 PM on August 12, 2013


It is fun to offer someone a tiny bit of the mixture on the end of a spoon and watch their reaction, although never more than that, not even if it would be humorous if their first encounter with the Yellow Peril were more over-the-top. I am not cruel. It is the duty of those who know to protect those who don't. More than once I've remarked there's a reason it rhymes with bastard.

I've once seen one of those American Tourists* spread English Mustard on a burger as if it was American mustard, and brush off the attempted advice of all the bystanders to first suggest he not do that then suggest he not eat that burger. It ... did not end well for him.

* Most of you are lovely. But there are some negative stereotypes of American Tourists for a reason.
posted by Francis at 2:55 PM on August 12, 2013 [3 favorites]


One of the things that seems very odd about the turnspit dog is that the text for every linked site about it that I've looked at seems nearly identical. Three places include the claim that this dog is the origin of "every dog has its day". But that doesn't show up in places that discuss the phrase without the context of the dog.

I'm willing to believe in the (former) existence of the turnspit dog. It just seems to have very little web presence (which may make sense for an extinct dog). I also thought it odd how well preserved it appeared for a >100 year old dog.

Still, I don't really disbelieve it. And I still want that lunch.
posted by jclarkin at 3:06 PM on August 12, 2013


Last weekend I met with some friends in Devon at a traditional tea shop. My intention was to enjoy a cream tea but I was tempted by the "cheese tea" . This turned out to be a huge cheese scone with a genorous portion of cheddar and stilton, dairy butter and chutney. It was astonishingly wonderful.
posted by BenPens at 3:08 PM on August 12, 2013


This turned out to be a huge cheese scone with a genorous portion of cheddar and stilton, dairy butter and chutney. It was astonishingly wonderful.

* pen and paper in hand *

Was the Stilton baked into the scone or spread on top? I may need to reverse-engineer this.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 5:26 PM on August 12, 2013


Please don't spread anything on top of a scone. Split the scone into two halves, then do your worst.
posted by Wolof at 7:00 PM on August 12, 2013


All this talk of scotch eggs and pork pies, pah. You want one of those pork pies with the hard boiled eggs inside, THEN we're talking. And the tangiest mature cheddar available.

Also, if you're being a tourist in Britain, or you live here, you should absolutely see what you can find in the way of local cheeses (my favourite where I live is a gorgeous, slightly peppery thing called Mrs Bell's Blue, you can find something like it in supermarkets under the name of Yorkshire Blue) but don't overlook local chutneys if you find them too. If you're in a shop specifically selling cheeses then there will almost certainly be some chutneys too.

Who knows, they might even give you a sample to help you decide.
posted by HypotheticalWoman at 8:39 PM on August 12, 2013


It's well worth getting Mary Berry's book about basic kitchen skills to learn how to make your own cheese scones.

garlic yarg, was actually named after Carli G., Gray's daughter

You've gone too far there, come on.
posted by glasseyes at 8:42 PM on August 12, 2013 [1 favorite]


Geeze, British food is usually not very good. You guys are missing the point again.
posted by glasseyes at 8:46 PM on August 12, 2013


I went in to this pub, and we ate a ploughman’s lunch. He was livid.
~ Tommy Cooper
posted by unliteral at 10:28 PM on August 12, 2013 [8 favorites]


Everything in this post made my mouth water, right down to the individually wrapped butter portions. I have been unable to source English style pickled onions for a while now and I miss them. Actually, this made me miss England in general; that grainy ham, the abundance of Branston, the pickled beetroot.....
posted by alltomorrowsparties at 10:33 PM on August 12, 2013


85 comments and no mention of Piccalilli yet!!
posted by unliteral at 10:37 PM on August 12, 2013 [2 favorites]


I love the British Isle cheeses I've tried but I have the gene that makes blues taste like dirty socks.
posted by brujita at 11:11 PM on August 12, 2013


85 comments and no mention of Piccalilli yet!!


That's because to get proper piccalilli you have to go to Amsterdam.
posted by MartinWisse at 2:37 AM on August 13, 2013


That's because to get proper piccalilli you have to go to Amsterdam.

Can you elaborate? Picalilli has a long history in England, documented in the OED.

Are you saying it is originally Dutch?
posted by vacapinta at 3:00 AM on August 13, 2013


I don't think that they are saying it was originally Dutch, but it also has a long history there.
posted by unliteral at 4:28 PM on August 13, 2013


unilateral, many thanks for that link!
posted by Mister Bijou at 11:16 PM on August 13, 2013


You're welcome - to the unilateral action list, as well ;~)
posted by unliteral at 11:36 PM on August 13, 2013


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