Cooler Than You in Every Way

August 15, 2013 10:33 AM

Ladies and gentleman, presenting the Watermelon Kids of China. That is all.
posted by pixlboi (29 comments total)

Sticky.
posted by xingcat at 10:43 AM on August 15, 2013

Itchy.
posted by louche mustachio at 10:48 AM on August 15, 2013 [1 favorite]

Stupid.
posted by thinkpiece at 10:51 AM on August 15, 2013

Fun.
posted by Hicksu at 10:54 AM on August 15, 2013 [1 favorite]

Seedy.
posted by louche mustachio at 10:56 AM on August 15, 2013 [2 favorites]

That last dude was wearing Magneto's helmet and a Superman crest. That is just NOT on.
posted by ursus_comiter at 10:58 AM on August 15, 2013 [5 favorites]

I could see a swarm of bees attacking a toddler.
posted by johnpowell at 11:00 AM on August 15, 2013

You broke the trend, ursus_comiter. The correct response was: "inaccurate"
posted by filthy light thief at 11:00 AM on August 15, 2013

And johnpowell, you could have gone with Stingy. In both cases, the ABBR. Example: Stingy
posted by filthy light thief at 11:06 AM on August 15, 2013

Note that not all parents in China are dressing their kids in melon wear, and there isn't an army of watermelon children roaming the street.

Noted!
posted by Now there are two. There are two _______. at 11:11 AM on August 15, 2013 [8 favorites]

Melondramatic.
posted by Kabanos at 11:26 AM on August 15, 2013 [5 favorites]

Melon-choly babies.
posted by Strange Interlude at 11:32 AM on August 15, 2013 [3 favorites]

Oh, gourd.
posted by Curious Artificer at 11:37 AM on August 15, 2013 [9 favorites]

Avoid Gallagher little ones. Smashy.
posted by pixlboi at 11:47 AM on August 15, 2013 [4 favorites]

Soundtrack for this: Mr. Watermelon, by pre-teen rockers Random Rainbows.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 11:51 AM on August 15, 2013

Note that not all parents in China are dressing their kids in melon wear, and there isn't an army of watermelon children roaming the street.


Disappointing.


(Also, if you think I wouldn't do this if I could find a big enough watermelon, I'm sorry I've given you that impression. And if you wouldn't, I'm not sure I want to know you.)
posted by MCMikeNamara at 11:54 AM on August 15, 2013 [1 favorite]

Waste of a good watermelon.
posted by jennaratrix at 12:03 PM on August 15, 2013

Note that not all parents in China are dressing their kids in melon wear, and there isn't an army of watermelon children roaming the street.

I'm glad they added that. Sometimes when there are articles about [farawayfromUScountry] people assume everyone does that. By sometimes I mean pretty much all the time.

Also i expected to not like this because I hate those Anne Geddes sleeping in pots things, but that first kid in the overallmelons is damn cute.
posted by sweetkid at 1:00 PM on August 15, 2013 [1 favorite]

So we have been associating watermelon with the WRONG racial stereotype all these years? Gasp!
posted by oneswellfoop at 1:07 PM on August 15, 2013 [1 favorite]

there isn't an army of watermelon children roaming the street.

Although one watermelon-bedecked child was carried off by a dog, and the parents were heard crying "'Come to me my melon-collie baby!" Well, in Mandarin, but, still....
posted by GenjiandProust at 1:52 PM on August 15, 2013 [3 favorites]

Those kids are bucking for a scholarship to Carnegie Melon.
posted by bluejayway at 2:17 PM on August 15, 2013 [2 favorites]

pixlboi: "Avoid Gallagher little ones. Smashy."

Thank you for giving me the opportunity to introduce my ever so slightly too young for this partner to why exactly these children would have needed to stay away from this wonderful cocaine fueled fiend.
posted by Blasdelb at 3:04 PM on August 15, 2013

What's with the one kid and the gourd?

I presented this to my partner with a "Hey, I think I just found the only good argument for us having kids." He thought it wasn't a good argument for having kids, but it WAS a good argument for having watermelon.
posted by NoraReed at 4:57 PM on August 15, 2013 [6 favorites]

Itchy

Tasty.
posted by Pope Guilty at 7:11 PM on August 15, 2013

There are times when I see a tantalizing FPP title like "Watermelon Kids" and I think to myself, "What do you mean, 'Watermelon Kids?' I must click this link to know more" and I discover to my delight that, yes, "Watermelon Kids" is exactly what's behind the link.
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 8:25 PM on August 15, 2013 [1 favorite]

This is one of the strangest sites I've seen in some time. I have no idea how these people got their kids wedged into their watermelons, or why.
posted by ActingTheGoat at 8:33 PM on August 15, 2013 [4 favorites]

Okay, that's friggin' adorable.
posted by Tell Me No Lies at 9:29 PM on August 15, 2013

Does what it says on the tin.
posted by rabbitrabbit at 2:50 PM on August 16, 2013

Ripe for ridicule.
posted by Chitownfats at 12:52 AM on August 17, 2013