Coincidence Design

December 14, 2001 11:15 AM

Coincidence Design - "You can't stalk her... but we can." For around $80,000, you can hire a team of investigators to arrange a chance meeting between you and the girl of your dreams. They will find out everything there is to know about her before you meet, and they claim she'll never know that it wasn't just fate (unless YOU tell her). Are they serious?!? (via saranwarp)
posted by lnicole (21 comments total)

"You can't stalk her... but we can."

This kind of thing is a civil suit just waiting to happen.
posted by alumshubby at 11:24 AM on December 14, 2001

I dunno if they're serious or not, but I find it pretty fascinating that this cabal of investigators making 8-40 grand a pop from each of their alleged 37 clients, only paid $14.95 for their domain hosting.
posted by headspace at 11:46 AM on December 14, 2001

this site is (hopefully) fake, and it looks like it to me. (what business writes something like "you aren't some law-breaking psycho ... what do you do?"
posted by moz at 11:50 AM on December 14, 2001

Yeah, sure, but can they surgically weld us together so she can't dump me when she realizes I'm just another callow rich asshole?
posted by videodrome at 11:51 AM on December 14, 2001

If it's not a hoax, my money says it's a scam. Anyone who blindly admits they can cough up $80k is asking to get ripped off.
posted by mischief at 11:52 AM on December 14, 2001

This is way more expensive than roofies.
posted by DragonBoy at 11:58 AM on December 14, 2001

What's weird is that they're hosted in Japan, and the admin people are in Guam; even though they claim to be based in Chicago.
posted by risenc at 12:01 PM on December 14, 2001

Eighty grand? Sheesh. If I had eighty grand lying around, I wouldn't need a service like this.
posted by kindall at 12:05 PM on December 14, 2001

This is downright frightening. They won't be around long though. How long you think it will be before one of the subjects catches on to whats up and:

A) Files a lawsuit or takes some other legal action
B) Busts a cap in one of their asses or hires someone to do it?
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 12:08 PM on December 14, 2001

Very classy DragonBoy.

I don't know, I suppose I should be outraged, offended, suspicious, [insert negative reaction here]...but I found myself charmed.

Sure, if real, it's a service for rich, narcisistic, self-involved, jet set, uber-boys, but the idea of a covert, match-making service just sounds so...well fun. I guess I'm charmed more through the idea of working for such an agency than anything else. I just have these mental images of old ex-cops sitting around a conference room table with a "client" and saying things to the effect of, "No, no, no...you have to stop talking about yourself so much. You need to talk about her and show an interest in who she is if you want this to go anywhere. Okay, let's take it from the top one more time, this time I'll be you and you be the girl..."
posted by edlark at 12:11 PM on December 14, 2001

I think it is funny that they don't let girls or gay guys use the services. I guess guys don't want someone to come up to them and seem to know everything about them, while women must love it.
posted by hellinskira at 12:15 PM on December 14, 2001

It's a hoax. Go here. The author lists the sites that he's allegedly designed on a freelance basis for clients. However, every client uses the exact same prose, is a less-than-believable business concept, and uses the same registrar and hosting company.

Check out his JapaneseDrunk.com.
posted by Harry Hopkins' Hat at 12:16 PM on December 14, 2001

Maybe you're better off living the lie.

"Honey, for our 20th wedding anniversary I want to tell you something I've been keeping from you..."

[2 minutes later]

"Oh that's okay, I was born a man."

[1 minute later]

"Fine, I fucked a chicken!"

"A Rooster. Twice!"
posted by skallas at 12:35 PM on December 14, 2001

Q. I am female and would like you to design a coincidence with a male subject. Can you do it?
A. No, sorry. The male-female dynamic doesn't work that way.

Haaa haa haaaaaaa!
posted by skyboy at 12:35 PM on December 14, 2001

Where's the 'love at first sight' in manufactured coincidences? And $80,000 is too much to pay just the stalkers . . . er . . . investigators. I am sure there are not too many women who would walk away from a decently dressed stranger with a $60,000 diamond ring. [And it seems that the online catalog at Tiffany and Diamond Rings USA tops out at around $15,000 for a ring. That's pretty cheap compared to the $80,000 you'd have to pay the hired stalkers.] There is also spamming the 'would be dream girls' and their friends (pimps) like the 10 K 4 A Wife guy. I am sure a 'coincidence' can be had for less than 80K.

If anyone is willing to put in the time [I don't think this will succeed in the first attempt], and is willing to invest in a ring and some poster boards and markers, and won't mind if a stranger walks away with the ring, can try this stunt. Write: "My Wife" (and nothing more) on the board and hold it up like the car service people in the arrival gate in your local airport. Ask the women who walk up to you if they are willing to marry you. I mean, they already think they are [or could be] your wife. It's worth a shot. I'd suggest to pick a smaller airport for saner results.
posted by tamim at 1:31 PM on December 14, 2001 [1 favorite]

After he pays the $ 80,000, and it has worked out like a charm, he can move on and use the services of Alibi and Co to cover his ass.
posted by Voyageman at 2:09 PM on December 14, 2001

Isn't this how the Church of Scientology works?
posted by solistrato at 2:49 PM on December 14, 2001

y'know if this were real, it sounds like it'd be fun to work for them...
posted by juv3nal at 2:52 PM on December 14, 2001

Who wants to write the screenplay based on this? a minimum of effort + john cusack as the hapless lonely rich guy and kate beckinsale (sp?) as the stalkee = box office hit!
posted by Vacaloca at 3:14 PM on December 14, 2001

Kinda reminds me of "The Game"... the movie with Michael Douglas.
posted by fuzzynavel at 4:20 PM on December 14, 2001

[1 minute later]
"Fine, I fucked a chicken!"
"A Rooster. Twice!"


*whistles tunelessly, looks nonchalant*
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 10:48 PM on December 14, 2001