AAAOOO​UUUUUAAA​AAHHHH!!!

August 26, 2013 1:31 AM

It's time for MIND YOUR MANNERS with BILLY QUAN, a recurring spoof on martial arts movies from classic Seattle sketch comedy group Almost Live! Today's episode:
YARD SALE, 8 BALL, BLADES, HOOPS, WICKETS, RACKETS, FUMES, TOOLS, JOCKS, TRICKS OF FURY
ENTER THE BOWLER, TIPSTER, PYRAMID, DOGGIE, JUGGLER, NEW YEAR, GARDNER
FIVE DISKS, LIBRARY, OFFICE, FIVE IRON OF DEATH
Remember kids, BE LIKE BILLY. BEHAVE YOURSELF!
posted by JHarris (21 comments total)

That's funny they're in Seattle, since they remind me of Dick Balch commercials.
posted by Rich Smorgasbord at 1:51 AM on August 26, 2013 [1 favorite]

Why is fast motion ALWAYS funny? Literally you could put armed robbery or a 10 car pile up in fast motion and I'd be lollin'.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 5:09 AM on August 26, 2013

Man these are super familiar but I don't remember EVER seeing any of the shows that apparently used them!
posted by SharkParty at 5:54 AM on August 26, 2013

Awesome post! High 5!
posted by LionIndex at 6:36 AM on August 26, 2013 [6 favorites]

I'm at work so I can't watch the videos yet, but I've decided to interpret the title of this post as the opening vocal from "Immigrant Song."
posted by Strange Interlude at 7:34 AM on August 26, 2013 [1 favorite]

Oh my goodness, I used to love these when they popped up on Bill Nye the Science Guy. Nearly forgot about them until now!
posted by Monster_Zero at 7:45 AM on August 26, 2013

Bill Nye got his start there.

(And ex-mefite TKChrist used to boast about being on there, though god knows which one he was.)
posted by klangklangston at 8:03 AM on August 26, 2013 [1 favorite]

When Haywire/Almost Live was cancelled, that wallowed in lameness.
posted by infinitewindow at 8:09 AM on August 26, 2013 [1 favorite]

Not to be confused with the other Seattle-based Mind Your Manners, Pearl Jam.
posted by mcstayinskool at 9:15 AM on August 26, 2013 [1 favorite]

Bill Nye got his start there.

(And ex-mefite TKChrist used to boast about being on there, though god knows which one he was.)

I had this unstoppable feeling of deja vu whilst watching these clips. Halfway through one it hit me: occasional episodes of Bill Nye the Science Guy featured Billy Quan. Billy's voiceover actor is heavily used in the series as well.

Thanks for the nostalgia bomb!
posted by spamguy at 9:29 AM on August 26, 2013 [1 favorite]

Do I dare google to find out whatever happened to Ross Schafer? (Spelling of last name may be off.)
posted by maxwelton at 9:29 AM on August 26, 2013

LAME!!!
posted by stenseng at 9:53 AM on August 26, 2013 [2 favorites]

Can next week's episode be Billy Nye as Speed Walker? My dad used to tape SNL and Almost Live! every weekend but I haven't seen an episode in a decade so this is serious nostalgia. I don't know if it still airs, but it used to be possible to catch the occasional rerun at like 3AM. For a 10 year old kid I knew a hell of a lot about the differences between Kent, Ballard and Renton, and local politics in Washington state.
posted by Lorin at 9:54 AM on August 26, 2013 [1 favorite]

A lot of the cast of Almost Live! is on The 206 now, which I managed to watch most of one episode of.

For more nostalgia in a similar vein: Bombshelter! Bombshelter! Bombshelter! or at least the ads!
posted by The corpse in the library at 9:55 AM on August 26, 2013 [1 favorite]

Ha! Loved these growing up. Thanks for the nostalgia infusion.
posted by BlackLeotardFront at 10:18 AM on August 26, 2013

Hi-fivin' MetaFilterites ARE COOL!

I will always love this show for first introducing me to the concept of a "latte" (hey, I grew up in the Midwest, my state didn't get an actual Starbucks until ten years later) and the sketch "Ineffectual Middle-Management Suckups," which I think of often in meetings.
posted by fifteen schnitzengruben is my limit at 11:46 AM on August 26, 2013

Almost Live still re-runs around 1:30 or 2am in Seattle, but is difficult to record because it just starts whenever Saturday Night Live ends, not the same time each week. Also, I know it's not airing anymore, but it's still weird that it's after SNL now, not before. My favorite is still The School of Ballard Drivers. (I even got to live in Ballard for a few years.)
posted by Margalo Epps at 4:45 PM on August 26, 2013 [1 favorite]

Pure awesome. Thanks for the post!
posted by computech_apolloniajames at 6:14 PM on August 26, 2013

Holy crap. I remember watching those when I was a teenager. Good times!

(the "flying legs" attack at the end of every skit always cracked me up)
posted by surazal at 7:13 PM on August 26, 2013

TKChrist was affiliated with the pre-Kiester era, and I think possibly as an offscreen contributor rather than a performer.
posted by mwhybark at 10:16 PM on August 26, 2013 [1 favorite]

Back when Pirate-Bartender-Zombie-Monkey lived in Seattle, we once got to see Almost Live actually live. Despite never having lived there myself, I still remember the sketch about the Kingdome and still crack up over the phrase "And the rain came through the roof of the building of stone… and it sucked."
posted by Lexica at 2:49 PM on August 31, 2013