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The eye of Michele Bachmann will be hitting Florida in a few hours
August 28, 2013 8:31 AM   Subscribe

Climate Name Change "Since 1954, the World Meteorological Organization has been naming extreme storms after people. As scientific evidence shows that climate change is creating increasingly frequent and devastating storms, and with climate scientists declaring these extreme weather events as the new normal, we propose a new naming system. A system that names extreme storms caused by climate change, after the policy makers who deny climate change and obstruct climate policy."
posted by roomthreeseventeen (30 comments total) 7 users marked this as a favorite

 
Without reading the article, the thread title alone is utterly terrifying. Get your eye away from those poor Florida residents, Michele Bachmann!
posted by infinitywaltz at 8:37 AM on August 28, 2013 [1 favorite]


I love this, but since these type of politicians also tend to be the kind who will do anything to get attention, I'm afraid this might be counterproductive.
posted by MCMikeNamara at 8:38 AM on August 28, 2013 [5 favorites]


I still agree with Hank. We should name storms after albums: "Bakersfield, California was destroyed today by the first four Black Sabbath albums."
posted by entropicamericana at 8:39 AM on August 28, 2013 [13 favorites]


Let's hope the sacrifice of Florida will distract her eye from the hobbits.
posted by Flunkie at 8:39 AM on August 28, 2013 [13 favorites]


"The eye of Michele Bachmann" sounds like something out of a pulp fantasy novel in the LoTR ripoff style; sort of a vaguely ominous and evil portent or device of the evil overlord.

In other words, it sounds perfect - but I wonder if we should also be doing this for politicians who enable the expansion of the surveillance state. Which would likely get confusing quickly.
posted by nubs at 8:41 AM on August 28, 2013


The eye of Michele Bachmann will be hitting Florida in a few hours

It won't be as bad as when they faced the volatile brown eye of Santorum. That was a real shit storm.
posted by Kabanos at 8:43 AM on August 28, 2013 [35 favorites]


That'll learn 'em! Deny the Settled Science, will you!
posted by Infinity_8 at 8:43 AM on August 28, 2013


I agree that these sorts of people are happy with virtually any publicity so this system should go as far as possible to avoid this eventuality. For example, "Tropical Storm Michele Bachman Is A Paranoid Bigot will make landfall in the Florida Keys at 4am on Tuesday" would be an excellent choice.
posted by elizardbits at 8:44 AM on August 28, 2013 [9 favorites]


"The eye of Michele Bachmann" sounds like something out of a pulp fantasy novel

Or a B movie. "They Saved Bachmann's Brain".
posted by flapjax at midnite at 8:44 AM on August 28, 2013


Or a B movie. "They Saved Bachmann's Brain".

That would imply there was something there to save, wouldn't it?

ok, I'm not proud of it, but sometimes when I get fed a straight line like that I can't stop myself
posted by nubs at 8:49 AM on August 28, 2013 [7 favorites]


Impossible; nothing usable to save.

dammit!!
posted by mephron at 8:50 AM on August 28, 2013 [2 favorites]


Taking a cue from the Patriot Act, I think this is a brilliant idea. Henceforth, we name all storms after climate-change-deniers, and the Democrats will name every bill the "Be Nice to Crippled People Bill".

If you can't beat the debate-framers, do 'em one better.
posted by Benny Andajetz at 8:57 AM on August 28, 2013 [1 favorite]


Meh. Enjoyable video but I don't think it's going to do one thing to change any of their minds about climate change. In fact, I suspect that most of them will be weirdly proud that they have inspired such vitriol.
posted by tafetta, darling! at 9:10 AM on August 28, 2013 [5 favorites]


Meh. Enjoyable video but I don't think it's going to do one thing to change any of their minds about climate change. In fact, I suspect that most of them will be weirdly proud that they have inspired such vitriol.

Yeah, this sort of thing goes straight to their "see, we've got 'em scared now!" pleasure center.
posted by yoink at 9:15 AM on August 28, 2013 [3 favorites]


On the contrary, Bachmann definitely has a brain. The fact that it is made of used cash register parts, potted meat food product and duct tape makes it all the more interesting for scientists to study.
posted by delfin at 9:23 AM on August 28, 2013 [7 favorites]


Stop insulting potted meat food product.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 9:25 AM on August 28, 2013 [10 favorites]


Yes, let's get down in the mud with people who are experts in playing the oppressed victim card for sympathy points despite breathing nothing but the rarefied air of power and privilege 24/7.
posted by jason_steakums at 9:31 AM on August 28, 2013 [1 favorite]


Storms are too temporary. I think we should name or rename geographic features after the miscreants. The Jindahl Sinkhole. The Halliburton Aquifer. Exxon Sound. The Inhofe Wasteland.
posted by Kirth Gerson at 9:40 AM on August 28, 2013 [1 favorite]


It'll all be fun and games until it's something along the lines of "James Inhofe did nearly two hundred million dollars of damage in Biloxi" or "Ted Nugent and Donald Trump Combined to make over a hundred thousand people homeless this summer".

Meh, as much as I want to punch these people in the face, the public shaming thing is probably not the right way to combat this.
posted by Blue_Villain at 10:20 AM on August 28, 2013 [1 favorite]


Juvenile. Love it.
posted by odinsdream at 10:30 AM on August 28, 2013


Yes, let's get down in the mud with people who are experts in playing the oppressed victim card for sympathy points despite breathing nothing but the rarefied air of power and privilege 24/7.

On the other hand, I've found that there's nothing bullies hate more than being laughed at.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 11:27 AM on August 28, 2013 [2 favorites]


tafetta, darling!: "Meh. Enjoyable video but I don't think it's going to do one thing to change any of their minds about climate change."

If the past is any indication, nothing will change their minds about climate change, so that's a standard that no campaign can meet. Michelle Bachmann is not the audience for this video.
posted by brundlefly at 12:10 PM on August 28, 2013


It'll all be fun and games until it's something along the lines of "James Inhofe did nearly two hundred million dollars of damage in Biloxi" or "Ted Nugent and Donald Trump Combined to make over a hundred thousand people homeless this summer".

If the evil villain costume fits...
posted by BlueHorse at 12:12 PM on August 28, 2013 [1 favorite]


nubs: ""The eye of Michele Bachmann" sounds like something out of a pulp fantasy novel in the LoTR ripoff style; sort of a vaguely ominous and evil portent or device of the evil overlord."

You may be thinking of The Eye of Argon. Although, you know, chemical element, right wing nutcase, who can even tell, right?
posted by Joakim Ziegler at 12:50 PM on August 28, 2013


It looks like things continue to go not well for Ms Bachmann...
posted by Mental Wimp at 1:37 PM on August 28, 2013


I'll stick with the Eye of Argon, thanks.
posted by nubs at 2:11 PM on August 28, 2013 [1 favorite]


> "Ted Nugent and Donald Trump Combined to make over a hundred thousand people homeless this summer".

Hard to imagine Ted thinking it's anything but funny. "Through a spokesman, Nugent reminded reporters that he eats what he kills, and will be flying to the disaster site as soon as the airport resumes operation to find out if any of his victims have died."
posted by jfuller at 2:46 PM on August 28, 2013


People Don’t Fear Climate Change Enough
posted by homunculus at 6:36 PM on August 28, 2013


I initially read this as the Eyes of Michelle Bachmann, and thought it was gonna be some kind of right wing update on Eyes of Laura Mars. I'm not sure whether to be disappointed or relieved.
posted by emcat8 at 9:09 PM on August 28, 2013


Since bad weather is punishment from God, maybe they should name storms after his many incarnations. Hurricane Jesus would be awesome.
posted by Gringos Without Borders at 1:30 AM on August 29, 2013


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