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September 4, 2013 10:31 AM   Subscribe

China's Embarrassing Childhood Photos. Bonus: François Hollande goes full Streisand effect
posted by fearfulsymmetry (24 comments total) 15 users marked this as a favorite

 
Guns, cigarettes, flags, and crosses. Win!
posted by buzzman at 10:37 AM on September 4, 2013


And David Byrne!
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 10:44 AM on September 4, 2013 [6 favorites]


Today I learned about the word gormless.
posted by jquinby at 10:49 AM on September 4, 2013 [2 favorites]


"I'm sure this was a good idea at the time"
posted by stbalbach at 10:49 AM on September 4, 2013


Hmm... I don't think I have any pictures like that from when I was a kid. Oh wait. Oh god. Oh god oh god I need to call my mom who happens to be in Beijing right now and ask for some strategic photo disappearancing.
posted by kmz at 10:58 AM on September 4, 2013 [2 favorites]


So what's the story with the red dot on so many of these kids' foreheads?
posted by yoink at 11:17 AM on September 4, 2013


So what's the story with the red dot on so many of these kids' foreheads?


Bindi - Ancient Chinese women wore similar marks (for purely decorative purposes) since the second century, which became popular during the Tang Dynasty.[7][8] As depicted in the film House of Flying Daggers and the film Mulan. Symbol of luck in China
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 11:20 AM on September 4, 2013


It's nice to know that Grandparents putting an excessive number of sweaters on babies is a universal phenomenon.
posted by Kabanos at 11:26 AM on September 4, 2013 [2 favorites]


"I'm sure this was a good idea at the time"

The kid's well seasoned, at least.
posted by maryr at 11:34 AM on September 4, 2013


So do boys still wear red lipstick for photographs now?
posted by Atreides at 11:39 AM on September 4, 2013


Hey babyhead! Ha!Ha!Ha!
posted by usonian at 11:45 AM on September 4, 2013


kmz: Good luck.
posted by seyirci at 11:47 AM on September 4, 2013


"Hi, kmz's Mom? This is MetaFilter. Do you have a scanner and an imgur account?"
posted by Rock Steady at 11:48 AM on September 4, 2013 [1 favorite]


I know nothing about the man's politics, but I definitely feel sympathy for Francois Hollande. As someone who photographs abominably, I know from experience that any moment frozen in time and captured forever on celluloid, pixels, or whatever, can make even the most attractive and dignified person (or me) look like a complete and utter goon.

I'd be surprised if there's not already a popular tumblr page dedicated to posting horribly unflattering frame grabs taken from video footage of celebrities, politicians, etc.
posted by Atom Eyes at 11:50 AM on September 4, 2013


Guns, cigarettes, flags, and crosses. Win!

Sounds like the Tea Party mission statement.
posted by spacely_sprocket at 11:56 AM on September 4, 2013 [4 favorites]


Shoot, a fella could have a pretty good weekend in Vegas...
posted by jquinby at 12:03 PM on September 4, 2013 [1 favorite]


I remember that episode! Herr Flick of the Gestapo attempts to retrieve the painting of the Fallen Madonna with the Big Boobies by Van Klomp from Madame Fanny's unmentionables drawer by borrowing one of the black lace gloves General Von Klinkerhoffen gave to Fräulein Helga for her birthday, and sliding his hand through a hole in the back of the dresser. Unfortunately, M. LeClerc has lost his spectacles, thinks it's a widowed mouse, and puts it out of its misery with a frying pan full of garlic and onions.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 12:26 PM on September 4, 2013 [3 favorites]


The Hollande picture made me laugh out loud. There's nothing to do with a picture like that but to own it.
posted by sfred at 12:52 PM on September 4, 2013 [1 favorite]


Bindi - Ancient Chinese women wore similar marks (for purely decorative purposes) since the second century, which became popular during the Tang Dynasty.[7][8] As depicted in the film House of Flying Daggers and the film Mulan. Symbol of luck in China

Yeah, I Googled around on "Chinese bindi" and "Chinese forehead dot" before I asked the question and found that much--that the bindi used to be common in China too. But the emphasis on everything I found was the "used to." There's a ton of old paintings of women with bindi, but it doesn't seem to have been practiced by adults for centuries. Clearly there's a modern custom of doing it to kids but I can't find any good information at all about when it started and why and how widespread it is. Anyone here know?
posted by yoink at 1:21 PM on September 4, 2013


I have a small child! And a red lipstick! All I need is a baby wig and I can make some memories that will last a lifetime.
posted by Wantok at 2:28 PM on September 4, 2013


Yoink, I don't know when they started dotting the bindi on kids, but it must be a fairly old practice. The traditional depiction of a popular boy hero in Chinese mythology, 挪吒, often sports the bindi. Google image search.
posted by of strange foe at 2:41 PM on September 4, 2013


Just commenting on the title: people don't say "cheese" of course, instead, it's “茄子“ (eggplant), which does sound like cheese.
posted by so much modern time at 5:47 PM on September 4, 2013


Oh my god... I also have photos exactly like these, all the way down to the minute details of the costume. In fact, my mother even had a second set done when I was slightly older. Both sets are currently hiding in the closet and I have resolved that they shall never see the light of day again.
posted by movicont at 9:02 PM on September 4, 2013


That last picture with the two babies is hysterical.
posted by gt2 at 4:27 AM on September 5, 2013


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