The line for "first come first serve" jokes starts here
September 4, 2013 4:00 PM Subscribe
The Trojan Vibrations Pleasure Cart continues its altruistic mission of free vibrators for the public in Portlands Pioneer Square 9/10. Making the Oscar Meyer Wienermobile, against all probability, the second most sexually suggestive corporate promotional vehicle.
Chicago residents can swing by the Trojan™ Vibrations Pleasure Carts at The Original Mother’s between 12 noon and 4:00 p.m. to receive a free Trojan™ Tri•Phoria™ Vibrator (MSRP $39.99) or Trojan™ Pulse (MSRP $29.99) Vibrator, while supplies last.
I don't know, "altruistic" might be overstating it.
™
posted by Horace Rumpole at 4:19 PM on September 4, 2013
I don't know, "altruistic" might be overstating it.
™
posted by Horace Rumpole at 4:19 PM on September 4, 2013
"first serve first come", surely.
posted by boo_radley at 4:32 PM on September 4, 2013 [10 favorites]
posted by boo_radley at 4:32 PM on September 4, 2013 [10 favorites]
Tri•Phoria™ Vibrator
Is Jack Donaghy the senior VP of marketing or something?
posted by bondcliff at 4:35 PM on September 4, 2013 [12 favorites]
Is Jack Donaghy the senior VP of marketing or something?
posted by bondcliff at 4:35 PM on September 4, 2013 [12 favorites]
Making the Oscar Meyer Wienermobile, against all probability, the second most sexually suggestive corporate promotional vehicle.
I don't see what's so sexually suggestive about this. It just looks like a box.
(Ooer!)
posted by Sys Rq at 4:56 PM on September 4, 2013
I don't see what's so sexually suggestive about this. It just looks like a box.
(Ooer!)
posted by Sys Rq at 4:56 PM on September 4, 2013
... dealiewhackers ...
I don't think that's how they're intended to be used.
posted by Greg_Ace at 5:01 PM on September 4, 2013 [1 favorite]
I don't think that's how they're intended to be used.
posted by Greg_Ace at 5:01 PM on September 4, 2013 [1 favorite]
Interestingly enough, I was just on the hunt for bargain prices on some new toys, and found that walgreens.com had the cheapest prices by a not-insignificant amount on quite a few things.
Fuck it. Found my brand.
posted by softlord at 5:03 PM on September 4, 2013
Fuck it. Found my brand.
posted by softlord at 5:03 PM on September 4, 2013
The dream of the 90s is alive in Portland.... Where the vibrators are free...
posted by thewalrus at 5:15 PM on September 4, 2013
posted by thewalrus at 5:15 PM on September 4, 2013
Yeah, the vibrator is free, but they make their money on the batteries.
posted by Keith Talent at 5:21 PM on September 4, 2013 [3 favorites]
posted by Keith Talent at 5:21 PM on September 4, 2013 [3 favorites]
In the category: Life ▻ Society & Culture ▻ Ethnic Cultures
wat.
posted by Lemurrhea at 5:29 PM on September 4, 2013
wat.
posted by Lemurrhea at 5:29 PM on September 4, 2013
...they're getting a lot of sex toys on the shelves in stores like Walgreens...
What now?
posted by DU at 5:49 PM on September 4, 2013
What now?
posted by DU at 5:49 PM on September 4, 2013
Trojan did the giveaway in New Orleans a couple months ago. Me and all my friends came.
posted by CheeseLouise at 6:04 PM on September 4, 2013 [6 favorites]
posted by CheeseLouise at 6:04 PM on September 4, 2013 [6 favorites]
What now?
I believe some states don't allow dildonics of any kind to be sold, but I'm not sure the details of that. But in New Mexico, yeah, look by the condoms and lube and you'll find dildos.
I keep being prepared to be all skeptical and call them out for having woman-unfriendly lubes with glycerin in them, but it looks like all the lubes that Trojan makes are glycerin-free too. So they seem to be doing okay, as far as actually making products to help women have better sex lives is concerned.
posted by NoraReed at 6:09 PM on September 4, 2013
I believe some states don't allow dildonics of any kind to be sold, but I'm not sure the details of that. But in New Mexico, yeah, look by the condoms and lube and you'll find dildos.
I keep being prepared to be all skeptical and call them out for having woman-unfriendly lubes with glycerin in them, but it looks like all the lubes that Trojan makes are glycerin-free too. So they seem to be doing okay, as far as actually making products to help women have better sex lives is concerned.
posted by NoraReed at 6:09 PM on September 4, 2013
They were out of vibrators when I showed up, so they told me to beat it.
posted by orme at 6:18 PM on September 4, 2013 [2 favorites]
posted by orme at 6:18 PM on September 4, 2013 [2 favorites]
Wouldn't you rather get your sex toys from the same place you get your nostalgic penny candy and old-timey grandma panties and your patent medicines from simpler days gone by?
posted by Lou Stuells at 6:39 PM on September 4, 2013 [2 favorites]
posted by Lou Stuells at 6:39 PM on September 4, 2013 [2 favorites]
I'll be there getting one.
posted by gucci mane at 6:44 PM on September 4, 2013
posted by gucci mane at 6:44 PM on September 4, 2013
Judging from how Trojan makes their condoms, I can only presume that their vibrators are actually reconditioned exercise dumbbells, refitted with Taiwanese electronics in a stark grey East German factory.
I live in San Francisco, which is awash in free condoms, which my girlfriend and I use on a regular basis. We make a point of walking through the city's various festivals and events, collecting condoms like it was an adult form of Trick-or-Treating. Some events like Pride Day or Folsom Street Fair, you can come back with a good-sized bag packed with swag. The last festival we went through, we spun a wheel and won an bulb-type enema syringe. Gotta love this town.
But you know... when we see a selection of condoms which include Trojans, we pick around them or throw them back. They are the condom equivalent of buying a Yugo. We might be cheap f*ckers, but you've got to have some standards.
posted by markkraft at 7:08 PM on September 4, 2013 [2 favorites]
I live in San Francisco, which is awash in free condoms, which my girlfriend and I use on a regular basis. We make a point of walking through the city's various festivals and events, collecting condoms like it was an adult form of Trick-or-Treating. Some events like Pride Day or Folsom Street Fair, you can come back with a good-sized bag packed with swag. The last festival we went through, we spun a wheel and won an bulb-type enema syringe. Gotta love this town.
But you know... when we see a selection of condoms which include Trojans, we pick around them or throw them back. They are the condom equivalent of buying a Yugo. We might be cheap f*ckers, but you've got to have some standards.
posted by markkraft at 7:08 PM on September 4, 2013 [2 favorites]
If you find yourself in a Chinese restaurant, be careful about ordering the mushroom dish.
They can be really chewy if not prepared right.
posted by markkraft at 7:15 PM on September 4, 2013
They can be really chewy if not prepared right.
posted by markkraft at 7:15 PM on September 4, 2013
gucci mane: I'll be there getting one.
I see what you did there.
posted by Greg_Ace at 7:22 PM on September 4, 2013
I see what you did there.
posted by Greg_Ace at 7:22 PM on September 4, 2013
…the second most sexually suggestive corporate promotional vehicle
I guess you've not seen a Wacky Waving Inflatable Arm-Flailing Tube Man atop a Sybian recently.
posted by a halcyon day at 7:23 PM on September 4, 2013
I guess you've not seen a Wacky Waving Inflatable Arm-Flailing Tube Man atop a Sybian recently.
posted by a halcyon day at 7:23 PM on September 4, 2013
"I live in San Francisco, which is awash in free condoms, which my girlfriend and I use on a regular basis. We make a point of walking through the city's various festivals and events, collecting condoms like it was an adult form of Trick-or-Treating."
My girlfriend refuses to use street condoms, which, working in WeHo, I get all the time (I went to a restaurant a month or so ago and with my bill, I got the new LA condoms). And not just because she's read Cider House Rules.
posted by klangklangston at 7:57 PM on September 4, 2013
My girlfriend refuses to use street condoms, which, working in WeHo, I get all the time (I went to a restaurant a month or so ago and with my bill, I got the new LA condoms). And not just because she's read Cider House Rules.
posted by klangklangston at 7:57 PM on September 4, 2013
Like Antiques Road Show, she's concerned about the provenance.
posted by klangklangston at 7:58 PM on September 4, 2013 [2 favorites]
posted by klangklangston at 7:58 PM on September 4, 2013 [2 favorites]
You can now buy sex toys in person?
The internet is obsolete...
posted by Fists O'Fury at 6:26 AM on September 5, 2013
The internet is obsolete...
posted by Fists O'Fury at 6:26 AM on September 5, 2013
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posted by NoraReed at 4:19 PM on September 4, 2013 [4 favorites]