Join 3,440 readers in helping fund MetaFilter (Hide)


"The irresistible rise of an arguably unstoppable creature"
September 9, 2013 2:54 PM   Subscribe

If I offered evidence that jellyfish are displacing penguins in Antarctica—not someday, but now, today—what would you think? If I suggested that jellyfish could crash the world’s fisheries, outcompete the tuna and swordfish, and starve the whales to extinction, would you believe me? The New York Review of Books reads Lisa-ann Gershwin's book about the rise of the jellyfish and the coming "jellification" of our oceans. (Previously but not as terrifyingly.)

Jellyfish have taken on the USS Ronald Reagan, caused coup rumors in the Philippines, and crippled national economies. Their reproduction strategies are astonishing (Hermaphroditism. Cloning. External fertilization. Self fertilization. Courtship and copulation. Fission. Fusion. Cannibalism), they are capable of "de-growing", and some of them are effectively immortal (previously, and also previously). But now usually-sober scientists are talking about entire ocean jellification.

Nature also briefly reviews (possibly pay-walled link) Lisa-ann Gershwin's book: "In this bleak take on the future of our seas, Lisa-ann Gershwin chronicles in sometimes exhausting detail how the gelatinous omnivores that are jellyfish are wreaking havoc in waters around the globe. [...] This is a comprehensive summary of the irresistible rise of an arguably unstoppable creature."

So is this the end? Some experts were not so sure (see also), and started the Jellyfish Database Initiative (yes, the JEDI, our last hope). You can report your jellyfish sightings to JellyWatch, or just stare at the sighting maps. Meanwhile, here's Gershwin again: We are creating a world more like the late Precambrian than the late 1800s—a world where jellyfish ruled the seas and organisms with shells didn’t exist. We are creating a world where we humans may soon be unable to survive, or want to.
posted by RedOrGreen (92 comments total) 48 users marked this as a favorite

 
Most jellyfish are little more than gelatinous bags containing digestive organs and gonads

The same might be said for large segments of the human population.
posted by dudemanlives at 3:02 PM on September 9, 2013 [49 favorites]


Man, if you never want to feel good about anything again, just talk to a marine biologist about the state of the oceans.
posted by The Whelk at 3:03 PM on September 9, 2013 [64 favorites]


Also: Bleak Grim-Jelly future.
posted by The Whelk at 3:03 PM on September 9, 2013


The frontline troops in the forthcoming rise of Cthulhu, for my money.
posted by Kitteh at 3:05 PM on September 9, 2013 [2 favorites]


On the subject of Bleak Grim-Jelly futures: “Universe ‘could condense into jelly.’”
posted by misteraitch at 3:13 PM on September 9, 2013


One cup of dried jellyfish has 21 calories but 2.34 times the USRDA for sodium.

Looks like eating the little bastards isn't going to work. I had hopes of jellyflour bread and biscuits or something before I found that.

I guess if it can be desalinated, we've got the ultimate snack you can eat by the bucket without gaining an ounce.
posted by codswallop at 3:14 PM on September 9, 2013 [1 favorite]


The Monterey Bay Aquarium has been addressing this issue for quite a while in their popular Jellies exhibit.
posted by rednikki at 3:15 PM on September 9, 2013 [1 favorite]


Can't wait to forward this to my friend's GF who runs this blog, 365 days of jelly fish art. Be careful what you wish for, it might come true and breed uncontrollably in you oceans.
posted by kittensofthenight at 3:17 PM on September 9, 2013


The Monterey Bay Aquarium has been addressing this issue for quite a while in their popular Jellies exhibit.

The jellyfish were maybe my favourite thing in that aquarium. Take that, sea otters.
posted by kersplunk at 3:29 PM on September 9, 2013


Release the turtles!
posted by No Robots at 3:32 PM on September 9, 2013 [6 favorites]


I prefer All Fruit.
posted by Teakettle at 3:35 PM on September 9, 2013


I...I don't think we're ready for this jelly.
posted by prize bull octorok at 3:35 PM on September 9, 2013 [41 favorites]


Couldn't we just shoot them into space?
posted by entropicamericana at 3:36 PM on September 9, 2013 [2 favorites]


It would be like really funny if they were getting a quote from a skeptic who was all "it needs more study" and stuff but before he could finish the sentence a jellyfish ate him.
posted by George_Spiggott at 3:40 PM on September 9, 2013 [28 favorites]


One cup of dried jellyfish has 21 calories but 2.34 times the USRDA for sodium.

I think you generally soak it in water to remove the preservative salt. Or use fresh jellyfish, apparently you can just scoop it out the water anywhere these days.
I've had Chinese jellyfish salad. It's OK - more of a scrunchy mouthfeel thing, doesn't taste of anything much itself- chopped up as "salad", it's convenient and easy to pass off to your kids or your vegetarian friends as a scrunchy exotic Chinese vegetable .


The benefits of eating jellyfish are also rather controversial. Dr. Condon believes they are a healthy food choice containing 5% fat and 80% protein. Brotz on the other hand maintained that the protein content is rather low and he also identified aluminum residue, which contaminates jellyfish during processing, as a health concern. Some Asian research suggests that consuming jellyfish collagen, which is the main protein in jellyfish, can benefit people suffering from rheumatoid arthritis. But no formal scientific conclusion has yet been made.

posted by Bwithh at 3:47 PM on September 9, 2013


> but before he could finish the sentence a jellyfish ate him.

Like in Deep Blue Sea? That would be awesome. Has there been a jellyfish action/horror movie yet ("As a side effect, the jellyfish got SMAH-TAH.")?
posted by The Card Cheat at 3:48 PM on September 9, 2013 [1 favorite]


What we need is more Chambered Nautiluses.
posted by Chocolate Pickle at 3:49 PM on September 9, 2013 [5 favorites]


Man, if you never want to feel good about anything again, just talk to a marine biologist about the state of the oceans.

A friend of mine does marine fisheries research and her facebook feed usually makes me want to leap out the nearest window.
posted by rtha at 3:49 PM on September 9, 2013 [5 favorites]


"Plenty of fish jellyfish in the sea!"
posted by The Card Cheat at 3:51 PM on September 9, 2013 [1 favorite]


The Portuguese Man O' War is actually a colony creature, consisting of several organisms. I think in this lies our salvation. Rather than defeat the jellyfish, we must merge with them. Imagine a translucent jellyfish surging through the waters, but at its center, a human brain...
posted by George_Spiggott at 3:53 PM on September 9, 2013 [12 favorites]


Apparently they're actively trying to mutate themselves as well:

"Japan’s nuclear power plants have been under attack by jellyfish since the 1960s, with up to 150 tons per day having to be removed from the cooling system of just one power plant. Nor has India been immune. At a nuclear power plant near Madras, workers removed and individually counted over four million jellyfish that had become trapped on screens placed over the entrances to cooling pipes between February and April 1989. That’s around eighty tons of jellyfish."
posted by Hairy Lobster at 3:54 PM on September 9, 2013


Amazing how every expert's area of expertise is the one which will lead to our destruction if not addressed. See also: Every fossil discovered is a new species, critically leading to some conclusion.
posted by Ironmouth at 3:54 PM on September 9, 2013 [3 favorites]


Surely Cane toads eat them, or vice versa.
posted by OHenryPacey at 3:56 PM on September 9, 2013 [2 favorites]


Fuck that, I'm never ever going on a boat again. Ever. From now on, I'm landlocked primate.
posted by gkhan at 3:57 PM on September 9, 2013


I just noticed something.

[Corporations] have ... caused coup rumors in the Philippines, and crippled national economies. Their reproduction strategies are astonishing (Hermaphroditism. Cloning. External fertilization. Self fertilization. Courtship and copulation. Fission. Fusion. Cannibalism), they are capable of "de-growing", and [all] of them are effectively immortal.

posted by Sebmojo at 4:00 PM on September 9, 2013 [8 favorites]


6 most amazing jellyfish actually super creepy
posted by Bwithh at 4:04 PM on September 9, 2013


Did we talk about the jellyfish the size of washing machines? When I first heard about these behemoths, I came across what is now my life motto: "Big jellyfish can be eaten if you slice them into tiny pieces."
posted by spamandkimchi at 4:11 PM on September 9, 2013 [2 favorites]


Bright Future
posted by PeterMcDermott at 4:11 PM on September 9, 2013


From the main New York Review of Books link:

A moon jellyfish and cross jellyfish floating in a remote channel near Victoria Island, British Columbia

Perhaps I'm being a nitpicker, but maybe I'm not: AFAIK, there is no "Victoria Island, British Columbia." It's Vancouver Island and Victoria is the largest city on that island (I live there).

Anyway, if a basic fact like that gets missed, what about the rest of the article?

May be nitpicky, but then again so are decimal places.
posted by KokuRyu at 4:14 PM on September 9, 2013 [4 favorites]


> "Amazing how every expert's area of expertise is the one which will lead to our destruction if not addressed."

Amazing how every potentially serious problem will be casually dismissed by some.
posted by kyrademon at 4:15 PM on September 9, 2013 [19 favorites]


woe is me
posted by j_curiouser at 4:15 PM on September 9, 2013


I also spend a lot of time in the "Echizen" area of Japan, which is home to the "Echizen kurage", aka "Nomura's jellyfish", one of the largest jellyfish in the world.

These jellyfish blooms have little to do with overfishing, and everything to do with eutrophication of the Yellow River delta (that's China), where plankton blooms from phosphate-rich ag runoff creates fertile conditions for these massive jellyfish, which are then carried by the current northward up the coast of Japan.

I think the Gulf of Mexico has the same issue.
posted by KokuRyu at 4:19 PM on September 9, 2013 [2 favorites]


> "Amazing how every expert's area of expertise is the one which will lead to our destruction if not addressed."

Amazing how every potentially serious problem will be casually dismissed by some.


UBC in Vancouver is home to Daniel Pauly and his excellent Fishbase.

Pauly has been trying to bring to public attention the problem of fishing down the food chain, but on the other hand a local company here in Victoria that specializes in fisheries monitoring says that some of Pauly's claims are little sensational.
posted by KokuRyu at 4:21 PM on September 9, 2013


Who wants my jellyfish?
I'm not sellyfish!
-- Ogden Nash
posted by Greg_Ace at 4:25 PM on September 9, 2013 [1 favorite]


Bright Future

Brighter Day
posted by thelonius at 4:27 PM on September 9, 2013


"There is a thin semantic line separating weird and beautiful. And that line is covered in jellyfish."

And so is everything else.
posted by WidgetAlley at 4:32 PM on September 9, 2013 [3 favorites]


Release the turtles!

Agreed. Either a mass captive breeding program for leatherbacks or unleash Gamera.
posted by justsomebodythatyouusedtoknow at 4:33 PM on September 9, 2013 [6 favorites]


Some time ago, during one of the gigantic jellyfish blooms off the coast of Japan, there was just a massive number of jellyfish that just wandered into a pretty important fishing area. The decision was made to try to cull the jellyfish by trawling the area with razorwire suspended between boats to try to kill them off.

The jellyfish, 'sensing' (or whatever they do with their four nerve cluster brain things) they were under attack essentially dumped all of their eggs onto the ocean floor. And fertilized them. Instead of killing off the jellyfish, they caused their numbers to increase exponentially.

In short, never get off the boat.
posted by Ghidorah at 4:36 PM on September 9, 2013 [9 favorites]


a lot of vertebrate privilege on display.
posted by jpe at 4:56 PM on September 9, 2013 [28 favorites]


If their rise is "irresistible" then they're not "arguably" unstoppable. (If we're going down to brainless, gelatinous sea-goo, let's do it with a minimum of stylistic solecism. Priorities, people!)
posted by yoink at 4:58 PM on September 9, 2013 [1 favorite]


From Here

Question
Nazer asked:

The syphonophore, the Portuguese man of war:



This is a collection of jelly fish each having its own individual function, catching food, digestion, movement, reproduction.



I can understand that the digestive jelly fish can feed the other jelly fish but if only one of the jelly fish reproduce, then how do the other jelly fish in the colony come about?



Have I got the facts wrong, or does the reproducing jelly fish produce all of the jelly fish?

Answer
Helen - Wonderful creatures indeed! Although keep your distance, of course, because they are nasty stingers, but they're beautiful things to look at. I think this question is based on the fact that our listener knows that these animals are not in fact jellyfish. They're not single living creatures like that but they're colonies of lots of little creatures that live together. They belong in the same phylum, the Cnideria, as jellyfish and they look similar but they are in fact different. Portuguese man of wars are called siphonophores and they're made up of three main different types of little animals that live together. There are dactylozoids which make up the tentacles, there are gastrozoids which are the bits that eat the food, and there are gonozoids, and they are the bits of these creatures that reproduce. They produce sperm and they produce eggs. In fact, you get female and male Portuguese man of war, even though they’re called “Men”. The sperm will fertilize eggs in the water colum to produce larvae which grow into bigger Portuguese man of war. And the way that they grow from those individual cells is by asexual division of those cells and they produce all those individual three types of animals that live in this one colony and drift around the oceans, stinging things and eating things as they go.


What The Fuck Nature!?
posted by The Power Nap at 5:05 PM on September 9, 2013 [10 favorites]


In Japan, jellyfish have been a problem for several years now. The main problem with jellyfish? You can't eat them. Well, you can, technically, and some Japanese give it a try, but it's tasteless at best (that differs from octopus and squid how exactly?). You know a creature from the sea is useless when even the Japanese won't eat it.
posted by zardoz at 5:07 PM on September 9, 2013 [10 favorites]


but it's tasteless at best

it's the scrunchy mouthfeel! and just douse it with chilli or soy sauce or whatever
posted by Bwithh at 5:23 PM on September 9, 2013


The main problem with jellyfish? You can't eat them.

What are you talking about? I eat non-toxic jellyfish pretty regularly, and it's a common item in most Chinese restaurants. See wikipedia for a good primer on its consumption.
posted by kyp at 5:28 PM on September 9, 2013 [1 favorite]


You know a creature from the sea is useless when even the Japanese won't eat it.

It's pretty common in Chinese cuisine (in Japan) - jellyfish noodles, eaten with rice vinegar. Crunchy but there you go.
posted by KokuRyu at 5:28 PM on September 9, 2013 [1 favorite]


Jinx. You owe me a malted jellyfish.
posted by KokuRyu at 5:28 PM on September 9, 2013 [2 favorites]


Japan is the biggest market for jellyfish for eating, I saw somewhere.

Oh, and here's this NYT piece on Jellyfish holding the secret to immortality.
posted by Bwithh at 5:30 PM on September 9, 2013


the line that killed me from the article was "our oceans are 30 percent more acidic than they were thirty years ago" - that's kind of significant. if we've rounded the elbow of the exponential curve, we're way past being able to save the oceans, turtles or no turtles. enjoy it while it's still here.
posted by TMezz at 5:59 PM on September 9, 2013 [2 favorites]


There's something about Ghidorah's anecdote that reminds me of Sid Meier's Alpha Centauri, specifically the sentient fungus that covers the surface of the planet and launches increasingly furious attacks on your cities as the game goes on. Perhaps merging with the jellies is the way to go... After all, it's the highest scoring victory condition in the game...
posted by You Can't Tip a Buick at 6:00 PM on September 9, 2013 [2 favorites]


There's something about Ghidorah's anecdote that reminds me of Sid Meier's Alpha Centauri, specifically the sentient fungus that covers the surface of the planet and launches increasingly furious attacks on your cities as the game goes on. Perhaps merging with the jellies is the way to go... After all, it's the highest scoring victory condition in the game...
posted by You Can't Tip a Buick at 6:00 PM on September 9 [+] [!]


The best strategy for the Gaian (green hippie environmentalist) faction in SMAC is to deliberately cause as much pollution and environmental damage as possible because then they got all kinds of bonuses from the planet fungi awakening.


In Will Wright's planet simulator, SimEarth, it is possible for jellyfish to rise from their oceans, become intelligent and build advanced civilizations
posted by Bwithh at 6:04 PM on September 9, 2013 [1 favorite]


One cup of dried jellyfish has [...] 2.34 times the USRDA for sodium [...] jellyfish collagen, which is the main protein in jellyfish [...] scrunchy mouthfeel!

What you're describing sounds like the pork rind of the sea.
posted by pullayup at 6:09 PM on September 9, 2013 [8 favorites]


I kind of like this idea...
Jellyfish as liquid fertilizer.
posted by markkraft at 6:11 PM on September 9, 2013 [3 favorites]


KokuRyu: Pauly has been trying to bring to public attention the problem of fishing down the food chain, but on the other hand a local company here in Victoria that specializes in fisheries monitoring says that some of Pauly's claims are little sensational.

There was a good discussion of Pauly and his detractors on Metafilter a couple of years ago.
posted by sneebler at 6:28 PM on September 9, 2013 [1 favorite]


IT BEGINS
posted by elizardbits at 6:30 PM on September 9, 2013 [4 favorites]


Am I the only one who hates the term "mouthfeel"? I mean, how is it any different from just saying "texture"?!! Gah!
posted by diocletian at 6:40 PM on September 9, 2013 [7 favorites]


It's pretty common in Chinese cuisine (in Japan) - jellyfish noodles, eaten with rice vinegar. Crunchy but there you go.

We can parse down the definition of "common" I suppose. There's a difference between "common" in restaurants and "can be found in restaurants," which is what I would apply to the jellyfish noodles.

I think most Japanese would do a double take if they saw kurage on the menu. My point is that the ratio of jellyfish in the ocean (and easily caught) vs what is eaten is vanishingly small.
posted by zardoz at 7:34 PM on September 9, 2013


I don't like the idea of these bastard, freeloader jellyfish riding on our coattails while we destroy the earth. Destroying the earth has taken of lot of time and effort by humans. We can't tolerate these do-nothings to simply drift in and claim victory. The jellyfish must be stopped at all cost!

(Would something along those lines get a bunch of republicans on board?)
posted by InsertNiftyNameHere at 7:43 PM on September 9, 2013 [5 favorites]


it's convenient and easy to pass off to your kids or your vegetarian friends as a scrunchy exotic Chinese vegetable .

Please don't do that. That's very disrespectful to your vegetarian friends.
posted by painquale at 7:47 PM on September 9, 2013 [10 favorites]


Ethical fish consumption is for those who want to give the jellyfish an even larger share. Eat up FFS, it's all going to be gone soon!

We're fucked! Game over man, game over!
posted by Meatbomb at 7:54 PM on September 9, 2013 [1 favorite]


Release the turtles!

This guy is trying: The Old Hegg Turtle Sanctuary.
posted by 445supermag at 8:03 PM on September 9, 2013 [1 favorite]


Grind those bastards up, put them into McNuggets - I'll eat them and insects for my protein source *and* I'll be doing good for the planet rather than killing it with my occasional beef patty.
posted by Setec Astronomy at 8:19 PM on September 9, 2013 [2 favorites]


It's sort of comforting, when thinking about Syria and homelessness and global warming, to know that we're all going to die of Jellyfish anyway, so no big deal.
posted by latkes at 8:20 PM on September 9, 2013 [1 favorite]


If you want to know what the future diet of the human race is like, imagine a big plate of sweet potatoes with a side of jellyfish salad--forever.
posted by Cash4Lead at 8:24 PM on September 9, 2013 [5 favorites]


"predators include tuna, shark, swordfish, sea turtles and at least one species of Pacific salmon"

If we can protect predator species' spawning grounds, this (via plankton blooms) increase in jellyfish, could potentially boost population of species that are yummier than jellyfish.

I like mine just blanched for maximum crunchiness, cut into ~7mm x 7mm strips, soaked for an entire day with frequent water changes, drained, seasoned with a good sesame oil, a high quality light soy sauce, some homemade XO (ie., sundried seafood chili sauce with garlic and shallots), a splash of dark Chinese cooking wine (or cognac; scotch doesn't work very well), and topped with pan roasted sesame seeds. Some finely chopped cilantro can be nice, too.
posted by porpoise at 8:29 PM on September 9, 2013 [2 favorites]


I think most Japanese would do a double take if they saw kurage on the menu. My point is that the ratio of jellyfish in the ocean (and easily caught) vs what is eaten is vanishingly small.

It's pretty damn common in Chinese restaurants in Japan. But obviously as you point it is not a staple by any stretch.
posted by KokuRyu at 9:16 PM on September 9, 2013


Yeah, jellyfish are not uncommon on menus here. I wouldn't say it's popular, but it is there.

And as to texture? It really, really doesn't matter how you slice them up. It still feels like you're chewing on old, hard rubber bands.
posted by Ghidorah at 9:21 PM on September 9, 2013 [2 favorites]


>"predators include tuna, shark, swordfish, sea turtles and at least one species of Pacific salmon"

If we can protect predator species' spawning grounds, this (via plankton blooms) increase in jellyfish, could potentially boost population of species that are yummier than jellyfish.


Most of these species are either classified as "at risk" or "endangered."

With Pacific salmon, no one really knows what is causing the decline of the species. Fish will travel out to sea and will vanish (that is, that cohort will never return to spawn). Climate change is an obvious culprit, but no one is sure what is going on.

Tuna and shark are headed towards oblivion, but on the other hand swordfish are recovering due to a fishing moratorium. So there is hope. Look at the comeback of the great whales over the past 40 years since the start of the whaling ban. Where I live we're starting to see Humpback whales regularly again, as well as Fin whales.
posted by KokuRyu at 9:23 PM on September 9, 2013 [2 favorites]


I heard that a Japanese scientist came up with a way to process jellyfish into a soil treatment, that apparently holds a lot more water in the soil, and more nutrients, too. Sounded interesting. It could restore the ability to some farm land lost to the higher temperatures of climate change.
posted by bashos_frog at 9:50 PM on September 9, 2013 [4 favorites]


The Portuguese Man O' War is actually a colony creature, consisting of several organisms. I think in this lies our salvation. Rather than defeat the jellyfish, we must merge with them. Imagine a translucent jellyfish surging through the waters, but at its center, a human brain...

SPOILER ALERT: that's pretty much the plot twist of this year's anime "Gargantia on the Verdurous Planet" [翠星のガルガンティア (Suisei no Garugantia)]
posted by maryr at 10:07 PM on September 9, 2013 [1 favorite]


> "mouthfeel" [...] how is it any different from just saying "texture"?!!
Just guessing, but non-textural elements of mouthfeel might be temperature, oiliness (viscosity?) and astringency.
posted by morganw at 10:30 PM on September 9, 2013 [2 favorites]


I read Miyazaki's Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind recently, and these giant jellies remind me mostly of the Ohmu: giant grotesque telepathic creatures coming to cleanse the world of pollution.

But then I think of my co-worker who is mortally afraid of jellies. When you bring them up, she just shrieks "The zombies of the sea" and leaves the area.
So there's that.

THE ZOMBIES OF THE SEA
posted by sleeping bear at 11:15 PM on September 9, 2013 [4 favorites]


Wikipedia has an OK article on mouthfeel
posted by Bwithh at 12:11 AM on September 10, 2013 [1 favorite]


I think I would prefer increased sharkification of our oceans.
posted by ambivalentic at 1:23 AM on September 10, 2013


That raises an interesting question. Would vegetarians be opposed to eating jellyfish? They have no brains. Can jellyfish feel pain? Sure, in biological terms they are animals, but they are so primitive that as a foodstuff they are a very vegetable-y animal.
posted by rikschell at 7:26 AM on September 10, 2013 [1 favorite]


They are an animal, so by definition, vegetarians do not eat them.
posted by MisantropicPainforest at 7:33 AM on September 10, 2013 [1 favorite]


Am I the only one who hates the term "mouthfeel"? I mean, how is it any different from just saying "texture"?!!

Texture covers the pattern structures, proportions of grain sizes and attributes of semi-solid matter, but leaves out viscosity and other properties of fluids.
posted by StickyCarpet at 8:39 AM on September 10, 2013


There are apparently respectable arguments for it being OK for vegans to eat oysters, so maybe jellyfish too (in voluntary, fully aware non-practical joke way) then
posted by Bwithh at 8:55 AM on September 10, 2013


Shit like this is why I still smoke.
posted by ob1quixote at 9:29 AM on September 10, 2013 [3 favorites]


Ugh, ok, I guess I'll grudgingly accept that "mouthfeel" is different from "texture." I guess I just don't like the mouthfeel of the word itself though.
posted by diocletian at 10:53 AM on September 10, 2013 [1 favorite]


George_Spiggott: "The Portuguese Man O' War is actually a colony creature, consisting of several organisms. I think in this lies our salvation. Rather than defeat the jellyfish, we must merge with them. Imagine a translucent jellyfish surging through the waters, but at its center, a human brain..."

You may have inadvertently described the most-heavenlike nightmare existence I have ever imagined.

Or dystopian utopia. Your pick.
posted by IAmBroom at 11:13 AM on September 10, 2013


Ugh, ok, I guess I'll grudgingly accept that "mouthfeel" is different from "texture." I guess I just don't like the mouthfeel of the word itself though.

I think it's only okay to use in satire. E.G. "Toddlers agree, the new 5C has the best mouthfeel of any iPhone yet"
posted by George_Spiggott at 11:49 AM on September 10, 2013 [2 favorites]


While Sharknado was a flight of fancy, Jellynado is a true horror.

Jellyfish give me the impression that they are one slight mutation away from being able to reproduce and live inside the human body. Eating them is a risk I am not willing to take, no matter how ludicrous my fears are.
posted by The Power Nap at 11:55 AM on September 10, 2013 [1 favorite]


There was a good interview with Lisa-ann Gershwin on ABC radio not long ago. Link. Fun fact: George Gershwin is her great uncle. Another fun fact: she named a jellyfish species she discovered Bazinga rieki because she's afan of Big Bang Theory.

Less fun fact: the changes in ocean temperature and chemistry mean we're all doomed.
posted by the duck by the oboe at 7:58 PM on September 10, 2013 [3 favorites]


but it's tasteless at best

it's the scrunchy mouthfeel!


Sounds a lot like sharkfin, the eating of which has resulted in the near extinction of a third of all shark species. There is a ray of hope as eating shark fin soup is becoming less popular in China.

It seems fitting that the sea would revert to an ecosystem that predates the bountiful diverse oceans that we have spent so much effort in destroying both actively and through willful ignorance. Maybe the jellyfish plague will allow some fish to find jelly free areas and start to recollonise the ocean while the jellyfish prevent fishing. Unfortunately it is the global poor who will suffer most from lack of fish stocks rather than those buying their fish from the supermarket, but that is always the way with climate change.
posted by asok at 5:39 AM on September 11, 2013 [1 favorite]


I am TERRIFIED.

This thread is filled with horror.
Especially this.
posted by Theta States at 8:24 AM on September 11, 2013 [1 favorite]


I saw the attic laboratory, the electrical machine, and the unsightly form of Tillinghast opposite me; but of all the space unoccupied by familiar objects not one particle was vacant. Indescribable shapes both alive and otherwise were mixed in disgusting disarray, and close to every known thing were whole worlds of alien, unknown entities. It likewise seemed that all the known things entered into the composition of other unknown things and vice versa. Foremost among the living objects were inky, jellyfish monstrosities which flabbily quivered in harmony with the vibrations from the machine. They were present in loathsome profusion, and I saw to my horror that they overlapped; that they were semi-fluid and capable of passing through one another and through what we know as solids. These things were never still, but seemed ever floating about with some malignant purpose. Sometimes they appeared to devour one another, the attacker launching itself at its victim and instantaneously obliterating the latter from sight.
posted by Z. Aurelius Fraught at 11:04 AM on September 11, 2013 [1 favorite]


Wherefore art thou, Samus?
posted by Monkey0nCrack at 2:28 PM on September 11, 2013


While Sharknado was a flight of fancy, Jellynado is a true horror.

Hah, serves people right for living in the tropics. Here in the mild south west of England, I'm...

according to a report in 1894 out of Bath, England. Jellyfish, roughly the size of a shilling, apparently rained by the thousands

Oh. Oh. Oh. That report sounds a little exaggerated though.
posted by ambrosen at 5:23 AM on September 12, 2013


Jellyfish shut down Swedish nuclear reactor. Also NYT.
posted by RedOrGreen at 5:10 PM on October 2, 2013


Jellyfish Elimination Robotic Swarm. It's real, and apparently a terrible idea, not just because what if the jellyfish learn to control the robots.
posted by spamandkimchi at 9:55 AM on October 6, 2013 [2 favorites]


From spamandkimchi's link:
3) When you cut open some jellies, you get artificial fertilization. That’s how aquarists are able to get eggs and sperm from species that are difficult to spawn, like stinging nettle jellies (read: bad sting). Assuming you rip through 6000 jellies per hour for 12 hours, you’ve now released SEVENTY TWO THOUSAND jellies worth of eggs and sperm into the water all at once, rather than slowly over time. And where are those embryos going to go? They’re going to the sea floor to metamorphose into polyps, in stressful conditions that are now great for them and terrible for everyone else (thanks to all the dead biomass floating around) and they’re going to multiply. Jelly polyps can live for years, and can clone themselves. One polyp can produce hundreds of clones, and each clone can produce hundreds of jellies. Get where I’m going with this?
OH GOD. OH GOD. OH GOD. THE HORROR.
posted by Theta States at 5:58 AM on October 7, 2013 [2 favorites]


(Came back in here to post a roundup of JEROS, the Jellyfish Elimination RObotic Swarm, and I see spamandkimchi got it already. THE HORROR, THE HORROR is right.)
posted by RedOrGreen at 11:43 AM on October 7, 2013


« Older Semi-submersible ships are the only vessels capabl...  |  Workout Wednesdays with Zach A... Newer »


This thread has been archived and is closed to new comments