"I will not even go to the strip clubs anymore"
September 13, 2013 6:18 AM   Subscribe

Jeff Wagner would like you to know that he is running for mayor of Minneapolis. (slyt, mostly sfw)
posted by dry white toast (26 comments total) 4 users marked this as a favorite

 
Yeah, we are having kind of a weird mayoral race. There's about thirty candidates, including Captain Jack Sparrow and a Lauraist Communist (they believe Laura Ingalls Wilder is divine).
posted by padraigin at 6:26 AM on September 13, 2013 [9 favorites]


brb moving to MLPS
posted by Potomac Avenue at 6:29 AM on September 13, 2013 [5 favorites]


Why does Jeff Wagner hate small businesses?
posted by TheWhiteSkull at 6:36 AM on September 13, 2013


I thought it was Putin coming out of the water.

I've often thought about running for office with this platform:

1. The job pays better than 90% of the people I'll represent, and pays better than I'm making now, so who wouldn't want it?
2. I get better health insurance.
3. It's easy. I don't have to do anything but vote on stuff, and I don't even have to form opinions. I just have to vote the way the people who put me there want me to vote.
4. I'll at least skim the bills.
5. When I state something is wrong I will add the statement "for me" to the end.

I've started to believe if we truly wanted representative government we'd do it by lottery. Anyone who pays more to get a job than the job pays is suspect in my mind.

In short, this man has my vote. Can someone please send my absentee ballot to Iowa?
posted by cjorgensen at 6:40 AM on September 13, 2013 [2 favorites]


To be fair, "Wake the Fuck Up" is a great campaign slogan. I can see the Shepard Fairey poster already.
posted by R. Schlock at 6:53 AM on September 13, 2013 [1 favorite]


I've started to believe if we truly wanted representative government we'd do it by lottery. Anyone who pays more to get a job than the job pays is suspect in my mind.

This is why folks like Lawrence Lessig actually want congressional salaries increased.
posted by Going To Maine at 7:00 AM on September 13, 2013 [1 favorite]


Who spends millions of dollars to get a job that pays one hundred thousand a year is a damned good question.
posted by three blind mice at 7:01 AM on September 13, 2013 [5 favorites]


Who spends millions of dollars to get a job that pays one hundred thousand a year is a damned good question.

Isn't the point that it's not actually their money? That they get their supporters to give them money that they can only spend on their campaign? A fringe benefit is of course that they actually DO spend some of that money on themselves (from scandalous to non-scandalous degrees). They get food, travel and clothing and I'm sure plenty of other loopholes where they could justify getting a large flatscreen TV because how else could they see the election results?
posted by Napierzaza at 7:11 AM on September 13, 2013 [1 favorite]


I've started to believe if we truly wanted representative government we'd do it by lottery.

This has been a pet theory of mine for some time. If it's good enough for juries, why not the House of Representatives? I think there should bit a little bit of a barrier to entry: opt-in to the selection pool, and pass the equivalent of the citizenship test, but beyond that, you just serve your two years and your done and your employer is legally bound to rehire you. The salary should be enough that an independent business operator could hire a replacement for him-/her- self.

It gets rid of the people (mostly) who are into power for its own sake, reduces the incentive to join the K-street revolving door, and the percentage of idiots in Congress shouldn't be any higher than it is today.
posted by CheeseDigestsAll at 7:15 AM on September 13, 2013 [4 favorites]


Isn't the point that it's not actually their money?

Lots of politicians spend their own money on races. I figure either they already have so much money that the effective cost to themselves is low(Romney) or they figure they'll make it back when they leave office through connections/lobbying/appointments to corporate boards (most congresspersons).
posted by ghharr at 7:18 AM on September 13, 2013


Who spends millions of dollars to get a job that pays one hundred thousand a year is a damned good question.

Yeah anyone with the skills and connections to be an effective big city mayor could make an order of magnitude more than they would being the mayor - and work a whole lot less. There's a lot to be gained in business connections and influence. It's the best 4-year cocktail pary/18 holes of golf you'll ever experience as a businessman.
posted by jimmythefish at 7:18 AM on September 13, 2013


they figure they'll make it back when they leave office

Yes, certainly not making it back while IN office because of their connections. I'm sure that's never been the case that a politician has leveraged their position for money.

Also, what is that beautiful woman doing with that lout.
posted by Napierzaza at 7:28 AM on September 13, 2013


This is all fine and it's great to make fun of the process or propose radical restructurings of how democracy works, but in the meantime Minneapolis has major complex problems. The police there have a positively AWFUL reputation for racism and brutality and there's this ridiculous NFL stadium deal with a family that was recently revealed to be criminals, involving a funding source (electronic pulltabs) that is plainly not going to generate the cash needed, to name just two challenges. The next mayor needs to be a serious smart and fearless leader, not some shirtless shouty lakedweller spouting "commonsense" cliches. The more the mayoral race turns into a circus, the worse off the people will be for it.
posted by BigLankyBastard at 7:32 AM on September 13, 2013 [2 favorites]


Well, the 2010 midterm Tea Party elections were about as close to a thought experiment version of Representation by Lottery (tm) as you're going to get because most of those people were elected specifically for their complete lack of connection to government as it has been practiced in America for 200 years.

Turns out, it isn't as great an idea as it sounds because it's actually not just sitting around reading the polls and voting the way they say you should. Turns out there's a remarkably complicated set of political tools that are used to make the country function (I mean just basically operate from day to day). One which these guys have absolutely no idea how to run, no more idea what they're doing than if you sat me down at mission control in Houston and told me to plot a transfer orbit that would get a space capsule to Mars without killing the astronauts. They've been utterly ineffective at implementing any kind of agenda whatsoever. All they've been able to do is stand around braying and gumming up the works so nobody else can accomplish anything either. This at a time when the nation is drifting toward the rocks.

So I'm not such a fan at the Congressional level. That's not to say it might not work at the level of a small town mayor, where the system is far less complicated and there's a hell of a lot less at stake.
posted by Naberius at 7:32 AM on September 13, 2013 [1 favorite]


If it's good enough for juries, why not the House of Representatives?

Or as William F. Buckley reportedly quipped: "I would rather be governed by the first 2000 names in the Boston phone book than by the 2000 members of the faculty of Harvard University."

Didn't the Athenians select officeholders by lots as this was considered more "democratic" than voting which would be rigged by influence and wealth? Maybe we should pay more attention to THOSE founding fathers.
posted by three blind mice at 7:35 AM on September 13, 2013


Or as William F. Buckley reportedly quipped: "I would rather be governed by the first 2000 names in the Boston phone book than by the 2000 members of the faculty of Harvard University."


Re-elect AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA1 Towing / AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA1 Locksmiths 2016!
posted by zippy at 8:28 AM on September 13, 2013 [7 favorites]


The next mayor needs to be a serious smart and fearless leader, not some shirtless shouty lakedweller spouting "commonsense" cliches.

Strange men, lying in ponds, shouting slogans is no basis for a system of government.
posted by dry white toast at 8:35 AM on September 13, 2013 [13 favorites]


Well, at least he's more transparent than Mark Andrew. Minneapolis has ranked-choice voting, so I actually might vote for Jeff Wagner just because I can.
posted by antonymous at 9:01 AM on September 13, 2013


If anyone's interested, someone wrote a post where they analyzed every candidate in the Minneapolis mayoral race.
posted by antonymous at 9:03 AM on September 13, 2013 [5 favorites]


Didn't the Athenians select officeholders by lots as this was considered more "democratic" than voting which would be rigged by influence and wealth? Maybe we should pay more attention to THOSE founding fathers.

Venice elaborated on this by choosing by lot, then having those people choose candidates, who are then selected from by lot. And then they iterate that roughly seven thousand times to get the Doge.
Their system was crazy, but it combined the fairness of choosing by lot with the selection of choosing candidates, and it was intended to be bulletproof against corruption from the powerful families. It wasn't perfect, as this in-depth modern analysis (PDF) shows , but it was... interesting.
posted by forgetful snow at 9:15 AM on September 13, 2013 [1 favorite]


Anybody but Andrew
posted by MetalFingerz at 11:09 AM on September 13, 2013


There's about thirty candidates, including Captain Jack Sparrow and a Lauraist Communist

By Captain Jack Sparrow do you mean that guy with the guitar outside the Wedge?
posted by clavicle at 11:11 AM on September 13, 2013


Holy crap antonymous, that breakdown of all the mayoral candidates is incredible.

I'm generally a Betsy Hodges supporter, she was the key person on city council that altered zoning in the city to prevent in-fill McMansion building, and she was a staunch opponent of the Vikings Stadium public funding swindle. However, she just came out in support of a crackpot ordinance that will legalize the feeding of feral cats. She'll probably still get my vote, but...jebus.
posted by mcstayinskool at 11:11 AM on September 13, 2013


If anyone's interested, someone wrote a post where they analyzed every candidate in the Minneapolis mayoral race.
posted by antonymous


Awesome.

The thing that blows my mind about this election is that Jackie Cherryhomes is somehow still at least sort of politically viable. In a just world she would have been chased out of town by an angry mob because of Block E.

If it was a 2-way race between Jeff "Lake Creature" Wagner and Jackie Cherryhomes, I'd probably just flip a coin.
posted by COBRA! at 11:16 AM on September 13, 2013 [1 favorite]


I was personally hoping Gary Schiff would end up getting the DFL endorsement, but Hodges is my fallback option. The problem is that Hodges is very soft-spoken (especially for a "progressive" candidate), and Mark Andrew has done a better job reeling in young, energetic campaigners with his DFL-meets-used-car-salesman schtick (not to mention the greenwashing stuff). It seems like the people who support Betsy skew slightly older and tend to know more about what the mayor actually does than Andrew supporters, all of whom seem well-intentioned but a bit naive (and probably cut their teeth working on the Obama campaigns, which would explain Andrew's more visible campaign thus far).

But yeah, overall I think it's pretty cool that instant runoff voting is enabling marginal candidates to make in impact on this race. I agree with COBRA! that it's weird that someone like Cherryhomes is even running a campaign, but in the waning hours of this election, she will be approached by frontrunners and asked to convince her supporters to vote for candidate X as a second choice...
posted by antonymous at 12:51 PM on September 13, 2013


Here's a YouTube response from another of the candidates, who happens to be quite a prolific YouTuber.

Also, as long as I won't shut up in a dead thread, the Star Tribune released a poll showing that there's no clear frontrunner, as the top 2 candidates have 16 percent of the vote each. So I'd say Jeff Wagner has as good a chance as any.
posted by antonymous at 8:26 AM on September 15, 2013


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