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Gentlemen, let's talk turkey.
September 16, 2013 9:35 AM   Subscribe

The Butterball turkey hotline is seeking to hire its first male spokesperson/operators.
posted by Diablevert (35 comments total) 4 users marked this as a favorite

 
Someone's kink just got more complicated.
posted by WPW at 9:39 AM on September 16, 2013 [8 favorites]


obligatory.
posted by cjorgensen at 9:39 AM on September 16, 2013 [12 favorites]


My friend Joe Bethersonton should totally apply for this.
posted by Hey Dean Yeager! at 9:40 AM on September 16, 2013 [19 favorites]


I'm on another forum that has a user named Joe Bethersonton, and I smile every single time I see her.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 9:50 AM on September 16, 2013


cjorgensen: "obligatory. "

Ha! Yeah, that was the first thing that sprang to my mind as well.
posted by brundlefly at 9:54 AM on September 16, 2013


Welcome to Hell, Roast Beef. Here's your 1982 Subaru Brat.
posted by Inspector.Gadget at 9:54 AM on September 16, 2013 [7 favorites]


"I do radio commercials...for products."
posted by MCMikeNamara at 9:57 AM on September 16, 2013 [6 favorites]


Since the video has already been linked, I'll just add that the perfect candidate is still alive.
posted by blue_beetle at 10:09 AM on September 16, 2013 [5 favorites]


A name and a job, all in one week?
posted by The Underpants Monster at 10:13 AM on September 16, 2013


My brother is a 32-year-old "meatmonster man" (his description) who lives in Pilsen.

If he doesn't apply, I'll plotz.
posted by Madamina at 10:29 AM on September 16, 2013 [1 favorite]


If they had one of these dedicated to the making of mincemeat pies, would it be called the Suet Side Hotline?
posted by Atom Eyes at 10:35 AM on September 16, 2013 [8 favorites]


I do radio commercials for products.
posted by dirtdirt at 10:40 AM on September 16, 2013


"You can't come in here with half a thing."

not from the same episode, but still one of my all time favorite lines
posted by jquinby at 10:44 AM on September 16, 2013 [3 favorites]


Metafilter: Come into a thread expecting one thing, get clips of The West Wing instead. Win!
posted by jennaratrix at 10:57 AM on September 16, 2013


This story is a fascinating little capsule of gender relations. My folk understanding is that most instructional voices are female because that tests better with consumers. See for example this summary of computer voice gender. Maybe it's different for cooking instructions? Honestly I'd expect they'd be doing all they could to hire people who sound like grandma.

I wonder if they'll bias towards gay-sounding men. Not faggy or campy, but cultured and refined.
posted by Nelson at 10:59 AM on September 16, 2013 [3 favorites]


I call fowl on this story, as I know someone who used to do temp phone work for Butterball during Thanksgiving. (intended)
posted by goethean at 11:05 AM on September 16, 2013 [2 favorites]


How to stuff a turkey!!
posted by edgeways at 11:15 AM on September 16, 2013


Gently spread the herbed oil along the breasts, then move down to the thighs, rubbing it in slowly, with a firm but gentle pressure. As the oven warms up for the bird, ...
posted by buzzman at 11:30 AM on September 16, 2013 [1 favorite]


Metafilter: Come into a thread expecting one thing, get clips of The West Wing instead. Win!

That was excellent! We should do that once a week.
posted by ersatz at 11:39 AM on September 16, 2013 [1 favorite]


Gosh, how I LERVE The Westwing and Metafilter!
posted by michellenoel at 11:41 AM on September 16, 2013 [1 favorite]


So, the spokesman should probably have cooked a turkey before at some point for cred, but the "turkey tips" can be learned for the media appearances. What you really need there is personality, somebody with broad appeal who'll alienate neither your traditional roasters nor your gonzo fryers and grillers.

We need to settle this the American way.

We need a reality show.

Last Summer on FOX: Who Wants to be Butterball's Next Top Turkey Line Spokesman?

Hopefuls are each paired with an experienced corporate/celebrity spokesperson in a series of bizarre, undignified challenges tangentially related to his future duties at Butterball, really designed to judge how much the fickle turkey-eating audience likes him.. How many bowls of cranberry sauce CAN you pour down your partner's trousers? I don't know, but whoever gets the most wins a tearful phone call home!

All the talking head clips will be done Mr. Bean Style.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 11:57 AM on September 16, 2013 [1 favorite]


Can they get the Pope? Seems to be a natural on the phone...
posted by Cash4Lead at 12:08 PM on September 16, 2013


online application for men age 25 and up to apply to be the spokesman for the line or one of the operators,
I fail to see how gender is a Bona Fide Occupational Qualification
posted by theora55 at 12:53 PM on September 16, 2013


Heh. Its been an ongoing joke in the call centers for years to send people to the butterball hotline when asked really dumb questions. "They'll answer anything."
posted by Mister Fabulous at 12:54 PM on September 16, 2013 [2 favorites]


Cjorgensen is my hero Christ what an asshole.
posted by timsteil at 2:04 PM on September 16, 2013


I've always been a little perplexed by that West Wing scene. Because it appears as though Bartlet was on hold on speakerphone with Butterball for most of the episode, while having all sorts of conversations about political strategy (and presumably, stuff that requires high-level security clearances) throughout the episode. So basically, anyone at Butterball could have overheard everything that went on in the Oval Office all day. That doesn't seem right to me.

/tangent
posted by decathecting at 2:35 PM on September 16, 2013


Presumably the Presidential desk phone is a real Cadillac-type model, allowing you to mute the local microphone while on speakerphone.
posted by axiom at 2:45 PM on September 16, 2013


Yes, but as Mrs. Landingham has pointed out, the President doesn't know how to work his fancy phone, which is why he always yells to her through the doorway instead of using the intercom.
posted by decathecting at 3:01 PM on September 16, 2013


Two posts? ONE POST TOO LATE.

it's basically advertising but I don't care, that clip is so great.
posted by chrominance at 4:28 PM on September 16, 2013


I am glad the oppression of men is finally ended.
posted by cjorgensen at 5:59 PM on September 16, 2013


Mr. Roquette cooks the best roast turkey EVER! I am not that fond of turkey as a food, but he does such a good job that he does the Thanksgiving and Christmas turkeys for our building. We aren't Christian, but we do that and just go out for a few minutes so he can receive the thanks of a grateful many.
He excels in the manly art of grilling as well.
posted by Katjusa Roquette at 7:19 PM on September 16, 2013


*manly
posted by Katjusa Roquette at 7:19 PM on September 16, 2013


That Butterball bit was from S3, which is after Mrs. Landingham dies. I like to think that Bartlet learned to work the phone after that, but rewatching that bit it's clear that there's no mute button in effect. On the other hand, it's just prior to Thanksgiving, so maybe a bit of a slow day in the Oval, and it's fine to just leave the line on for a few minutes?
posted by axiom at 9:12 PM on September 16, 2013


Was that the episode where CG had the turkeys in her office?

That was great.
posted by brundlefly at 10:12 AM on September 17, 2013


CJ, that is.
posted by brundlefly at 10:38 AM on September 17, 2013


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