Beating out Eden Wood and Honey Boo Boo for the Crown....
September 17, 2013 9:59 AM   Subscribe

The first-ever Miss Uzbekistan is one of 110 pageant queen hopefuls in the 63rd Miss World Competition. The only problem? Apparently, nobody in Uzbekistan seems to know how 18-year-old Rakhima Ganieva won her crown.

Miss America has crowned the first contestant of Indian decent, and some folks are being jerks about it.

But in Uzbekistan apparently all you need to do to compete is to show up at the Miss World Pageant and claim your place.

In Mexico they hold one big pageant called Nuestra Belleza Mexico and select their contestants for Miss Universe, Miss World and Miss International.

In Venezuela women are discovered, taken to Caracas where they are transformed with lessons, makeovers and in some cases surgery into Beauty Queens.

But scoff as we might, winning a title can open up a life of fame and fortune after one's reign is over.

Aishwarya Rai a former Miss World is one of the most popular celebrities in India.

Oprah Winfrey was Miss Black Tennessee.

Diane Sawyer was America's Junior Miss in 1963.

Vanessa Williams was the first African-American Miss America, until scandal made her give up the crown. Anyone know where Suzette Charles is now?

While being beautiful, and having a title that says so isn't the key to success, it doesn't hurt. So who can blame a ‘'Tajik-looking girl' who 'appeared out of nowhere' for trying?
posted by Ruthless Bunny (34 comments total) 4 users marked this as a favorite

 
Minor correction: Aishwarya Rai will always and forever be Miss World, there is no turning in of her glorious perfect crown.
posted by elizardbits at 10:01 AM on September 17, 2013 [5 favorites]


Needs more Elif Batuman...
posted by hwestiii at 10:04 AM on September 17, 2013


"War of Tweets" will be my new euphemism for "people being racists jerks on the internet." Sadly, I will have to use the phrase in every sentence to keep up with the production.
posted by GenjiandProust at 10:05 AM on September 17, 2013 [1 favorite]


I suspect Oprah Winfrey and Diane Sawyer would have been just as successful without a pageant title
posted by edgeways at 10:11 AM on September 17, 2013 [2 favorites]


Wait, which is the one with the kookoo national costumes?
posted by Rock Steady at 10:13 AM on September 17, 2013


In other news: Intelligence Test Still Not Required for Twitter Account
posted by cjorgensen at 10:14 AM on September 17, 2013 [1 favorite]


It's Miss Universe.
posted by Rock Steady at 10:15 AM on September 17, 2013 [1 favorite]


Oh T&L are the best. "A bigger collection of jingo-ism crossed with light stripping you will never see anywhere else."
posted by Cash4Lead at 10:25 AM on September 17, 2013 [2 favorites]


But concerning Miss Uzbekistan, there is something strangely novelistic about the story. The only thing that could top it is a beauty pageant contestant from a disputed or invented country.
posted by Cash4Lead at 10:27 AM on September 17, 2013 [2 favorites]


The only thing that could top it is a beauty pageant contestant from a disputed or invented country

Hail, Hail Robonia, a land I didn't make up!
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 10:35 AM on September 17, 2013 [4 favorites]


I don't think Twitter should necessarily delete accounts because of casually racist remarks, but they should definitely tag certain users with a * for "Verified Asshole".
posted by Atom Eyes at 10:35 AM on September 17, 2013 [11 favorites]


Well, in my Episcopal high school, a friend and I were cleaning up the chapel one day (demerits) when we discovered the Chaplain's version of the prayerbook, which was pretty much the "teacher's edition" with all the answers in the back. And one thing we found in there was the ceremony for ordination of a Bishop. So we figured, what the fuck, and ordained each other. Our theory was that by both doing the ritual at each other at the same time, we would collide in one perfect moment in which we would simultaneously become ordained and thus gain the power to ordain the other.

So I guess what I'm saying is that I can't really argue with her. She's Miss Uzbekistan to me.
posted by Naberius at 10:46 AM on September 17, 2013 [25 favorites]


Well, I know what I'm doing next year.
posted by ocschwar at 11:02 AM on September 17, 2013


I'm trying to come up with a joke about Apostolic Sucession and beauty pageants, but all I'm getting is an image of Paul baton twirling in an evening gown.
posted by Biblio at 11:06 AM on September 17, 2013 [2 favorites]


Winning by unopposed acclamation is still winning.
posted by Mitheral at 11:08 AM on September 17, 2013 [2 favorites]


She's Miss Uzbekistan to me.

Thank you, father.
posted by yoink at 11:13 AM on September 17, 2013 [2 favorites]


Racism NOT Cool, Misogynists Say!
posted by Smedleyman at 11:16 AM on September 17, 2013


Thank you, father.

That's "Thank you, Bishop."
posted by asperity at 11:19 AM on September 17, 2013 [1 favorite]


Pyrrhus Guarantees Victory Over Romans

in other news: Arbitrary Contest Created By Anti-Feminist Gambling Organization Suddenly Concerned With Candidate Legitimacy.
posted by Smedleyman at 11:23 AM on September 17, 2013


I think Carmen Sandiego is in...Uzbekistan!
posted by Samizdata at 11:45 AM on September 17, 2013 [1 favorite]


asperity: That's "Thank you, Bishop."

I am definitely in favor of chipping in to buy Naberius a sockpuppet named The Right Reverend Bishop Naberius.
posted by Rock Steady at 11:46 AM on September 17, 2013 [2 favorites]


elizardbits: "Minor correction: Aishwarya Rai will always and forever be Miss World, there is no turning in of her glorious perfect crown."

Agreed. Those eyes of hers...

gloop

And she was in Enthiran! (Which makes her completely awesome regardless of any physicality!)
posted by Samizdata at 11:48 AM on September 17, 2013 [1 favorite]


I think that Miss Uzbekistan is the new Eric the Eel. This may qualify as a scandal by HuffPo's standards, but so what?
posted by Halloween Jack at 11:50 AM on September 17, 2013 [1 favorite]


That's "Thank you, Bishop."

Hey, I'll call my dad whatever I want, alright?
posted by yoink at 11:53 AM on September 17, 2013 [1 favorite]


How will I ever be able to take the Miss Word pageant seriously now?
posted by ricochet biscuit at 12:17 PM on September 17, 2013


Well, for the first time ever, I now have someone who I'd like to see win Miss World. I have to love the sheer brass of it: "I'm Miss Uzbekistan because I'm the only one who bothered to show up and claim it." Valuable life lesson there, and she would have gotten away with it if weren't for those medding kids.
posted by tyllwin at 12:30 PM on September 17, 2013 [2 favorites]


I think I solved the mystery. According to the first comment on the huffingtonpost article (and if you can't trust random commenters on the huffingtonpost, whose left?):

"Well we see the same thing here. there can't be winners and losers in schools anymore. Everyone must get a prize or medal. So some liberal somewhere in Uzbekistan must have told her she won (even without a contest) so she went to the pageant."

So, in conclusion, this is the fault of liberals.

(it makes me wonder, are there people who literally blame every perceived injustice in the world on liberals? their minds must be very... acrobatic).
posted by el io at 12:54 PM on September 17, 2013 [1 favorite]


yoink: Hey, I'll call my dad whatever I want, alright?

Is that you, Peter?
posted by Rock Steady at 1:10 PM on September 17, 2013


it makes me wonder, are there people who literally blame every perceived injustice in the world on liberals? their minds must be very... acrobatic

Back in 2005 the military did a major Base Realignment and Closure report, which proposed pretty major changes to defense posture and shut down huge bases all over the country and all across the services. A bunch of localities that depended on threatened bases for a big part of their revenues were very upset about this. And somehow I came across a web site of cranky old vets who were really, really worked up about how this was weakening America, and it was all the fault of the liberals who were destroying their beloved military.

This is 2005! George W. Bush was the President. The Republicans controlled both houses of Congress. Donald fucking Rumsfeld (I just like referring to him that way) was the Secretary of Defense. And so I called these guys about it on their own web site, going basically, "Guys, you won. You've got the whole enchilada. It's yours. Congratulations, but part of that is that you don't get to blame liberals for stuff anymore. There are no more liberals. At least not anywhere near the levers of power for the military. I mean seriously, what liberals are you talking about? If you're not happy with what's going on, it's your guys you got to talk to about it."

That didn't go over so well.
posted by Naberius at 2:15 PM on September 17, 2013 [5 favorites]



War of Tweets Twits will be my new euphemism for "people being racists jerks on the internet."

TFITY
posted by mule98J at 4:36 PM on September 17, 2013


Interalliance KG makes no mention of an actual Miss Uzbekistan pageant, however, despite apparently distributing pictures of the purported winner on U.S. pageant blogs.

Where? Disturbing how?
posted by Pruitt-Igoe at 12:45 AM on September 18, 2013


Uzbekistan is a totally effed up country. This comes as no surprise.
posted by k8t at 1:45 AM on September 18, 2013


naberius, I remember one of the previous BRACs, because I was living near one of the Air Force bases slated for closure. This was in a very conservative part of the country, and the base was basically all that was keeping the small city nearby alive; the city and base were kind of in the middle of nowhere, in a region that was as devastated economically by agribusiness as most commodity farming communities in flyover country, and there was really no reason for it to exist. (Like a lot of AFBs, the ostensible reason for it being there was that there was a lot of flat ground and not much for planes to crash into.) It was remarkable to see these otherwise keep-the-government-out-of-my-business types scramble to hold on to Uncle Sugar's largesse.
posted by Halloween Jack at 5:54 AM on September 18, 2013 [1 favorite]


Mystery solved?

"Much of the Miss Uzbekistan mystery appears to be due to the fact that Rahima Ganieva (or Rakhima), who is Muslim, is competing in the wrong contest. Being Muslim, she should be one of the 20 Muslimah World finalists who were chosen from more than 500 who took part in an online selection process." (...)
According to a July 2013 Beauty Pageant News report, Rahima Ganieva was crowned Miss Uzbekistan 2013.
Rahima Ganieva was crowned Miss Uzbekistan 2013 at the conclusion of the pageant held in Tashkent on 20th of July 2013.
The beauty from Tashkent will represent the country in the upcoming Miss World 2013 pageant, scheduled for September 28th, 2013 in Indonesia. This marks the first ever representative from Uzbekistan to a Miss World pageant. The country made an unsuccessful attempt at participation back in Miss World 2001…. Miss Uzbekistan was organized by Interalliance UZ and national director of Miss World in Uzbekistan and Kyrgyzstan. The contest included three levels: introduction in national costumes, catwalk in cocktail dresses and catwalk and interview in evening dresses. Special thanks to Animesh Barua, national director of Miss World in Uzbekistan!”
"

According to Wikipedia, "Uzbekistan's domestic policies on human rights and individual freedoms have been criticised by some international organizations." That's an understatement. Human Rights Watch says: "Uzbekistan’s human rights record is atrocious. Torture is endemic in the criminal justice system. Authorities intensified their crackdown on civil society activists, opposition members, and journalists. Muslims and Christians who practice their religion outside strict state controls are persecuted, and freedom of expression is severely limited."

Rahima Ganieva made one big mistake: she was not selected or approved by the government, but by a private organisation ("civil society"). In countries like Uzbekistan, "someone" in the government often wants to approve who is selected to their Olympic squad, who plays for their national football team etc. The fact that she has not clarified her story to international media is interesting: should she accuse her own government of lying?
posted by iviken at 10:36 AM on September 18, 2013 [2 favorites]


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