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Cocktail historian is a job? How might I qualify?
September 18, 2013 3:44 PM   Subscribe

Lawyers need bartenders more than bartenders need lawyers. When it comes to cocktails and the names they’re given, a recipe can’t be copyrighted and a name isn’t usually trademarked, and there’s no governing body, no law of the liquor land that stops the duplication of a recipe or a cocktail name. Which makes cocktail naming—shall we call it mixonymics?—special among naming practices in the modern world: It’s the bartender tribe, not the law, that defines prior art.
"Swizzle Me This," Michael Erard, The Morning News (single link)
posted by Rustic Etruscan (20 comments total) 9 users marked this as a favorite

 
Very cool! The calling card/modified southpaw looks delicious. I'll use that as my excuse to finally pick up Punt e Mes and make one!
posted by Carillon at 4:10 PM on September 18, 2013


Cocktail historian is a job? How might I qualify?

You've gotta mix with the right people.
posted by elephantday at 4:49 PM on September 18, 2013 [6 favorites]


Which makes cocktail naming—shall we call it mixonymics?—special among naming practices in the modern world: It’s the bartender tribe, not the law, that defines prior art.

Now I'm wondering: What other naming practices work the same way?
posted by box at 6:13 PM on September 18, 2013


High-end yachts and mansions?
posted by JoeZydeco at 6:26 PM on September 18, 2013


I don't care if it's a Flaming Moe or a Flaming Homer or a Flaming Moammar. **BURRRRRP**FWOOOOSH**
posted by not_on_display at 6:27 PM on September 18, 2013 [1 favorite]


I will once again publish the drink that I and I alone have created:

The Russian Jockstrap

2 parts vodka
1 part Gatorade

Or was it the other way around...

Whatever, it's mine. I made it. I created it. That's MY drink dammit!
posted by Splunge at 6:44 PM on September 18, 2013


I recently created the gin banana soy milkshake. It does not have a proper name and probably should not get one.
posted by deadwax at 6:55 PM on September 18, 2013 [1 favorite]


And here we are off to Portland this weekend. Awesome.
posted by Spatch at 7:04 PM on September 18, 2013


Back in the late 1980's I got a wild hair and decided to try Jack Daniel's mixed with orange juice. Turned out to be pretty good and I started ordering it regularly at the 3 or 4 New Orleans area bars I frequented in those days. About eight months after I started doing that, I happened across a full-page ad from Jack Daniel's suggesting this as a drink with some creative name I've mercifully forgotten. Total coincidence, I'm sure.
posted by localroger at 7:09 PM on September 18, 2013


My contribution to drink culture:

The Shirley Blow to the Temple

Ie: A Shirley Temple with top shelf tequila . . .
posted by jeremias at 7:15 PM on September 18, 2013 [3 favorites]


Here, of my own mind:

1.5 ounces of Tequila
.5 ounces Cointreau
.5 ounces of Rye
.5 ounces of sweet vermouth

Stir with ice.

Serve in a rocks glass with a large ice cube. Garnish with an orange twist.

That's a Two-Legged Dog and you're welcome.
posted by dobbs at 7:16 PM on September 18, 2013


I also am to blame for the Liquid Indian: bourbon and rootbeer, though I'm sure someone's done that before.
posted by dobbs at 7:24 PM on September 18, 2013


"but because one of the other ingredients, Cynar, is illegal to sell in the state of Maine..."

Wait, what? Why?
posted by HumuloneRanger at 7:47 PM on September 18, 2013 [1 favorite]


Jim Nabors = vodka + pineapple juice. Tropical! Fruity! Golleee!
posted by queensissy at 7:50 PM on September 18, 2013


Root Boozles™

Ingredients:
• one 2-liter bottle of A&W Root Beer
• one pint store-brand tequila

1) Uncap the 2-liter of A&W
2) Pour out about 16 ounces of A&W into a plastic cup
3) Drink that cupful of A&W
4) Pour the tequila carefully into the 2-liter bottle, topping it off.
5) Replace cap onto 2-liter bottle
6) Agitate gently
7) Bring to wherever you're going. Suggestions: a billiards hall; the parking lot of a White Hen Pantry. Particularly fun if you are underage.
posted by not_on_display at 8:06 PM on September 18, 2013


Wait, what? Why?

Because what sort of twisted individual makes liquor out of artichokes?, that's why.
posted by Now there are two. There are two _______. at 8:10 PM on September 18, 2013


Back in college we had a ritual of going to the 7-11, buying the cheapest tequila on the shelf, and adding it to a lemon-lime Slurpee. Hey presto, you've got a Don't Care Margarita.
posted by Spatch at 8:23 PM on September 18, 2013 [3 favorites]


I have never been in the West Indies, but I am in a position to state that in certain of the fundamentals of life they are streets ahead of our European civilization. The man behind the counter, as kindly a bloke as I ever wish to meet, seemed to guess our requirements the moment we hove into view. Scarcely had our elbows touched the wood before he was leaping to and fro, bringing down a new bottle with each leap. A planter, apparently, does not consider he has had a drink unless it contains at least seven ingredients, and I'm not saying, mind you, that he isn't right.

The man behind the bar told us the things were called Green Swizzles; and, if ever I marry and have a son, Green Swizzle Wooster is the name that will go down in the register, in memory of the day his father's life was saved at Wembley.
P.G. Wodehouse, "The Rummy Affair of Old Biffy". (previously)
posted by fings at 7:17 AM on September 19, 2013


The Golden Delicious: barenjager + apple soda. Best with ice.
posted by chaosys at 3:51 PM on September 19, 2013


Because I get endless requests from customers to "Make me something fruity", I came up with this one to keep the line moving.

Something Fruity
1.75 oz Rum
.75oz Tripple Sec
.75oz Lime Juice
Splash cranberry juice
Splash orange juice
Dash of Orange Bitters if you have them

Shake with ice, strain into glass, garnish with lemon and a cherry

Also known as "Something Girly". Additionally, every time you get to the head of the line at the open bar at a wedding and say "I don't know what I want", the bartender wants to shank you. So do the people behind you in line who know what they want.

Just saying.
posted by Pirate-Bartender-Zombie-Monkey at 8:50 AM on October 1, 2013


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